Cómo saber cuándo romper: 20 señales de que deberías poner fin a tu relación
¿Su relación atraviesa una mala racha o ha llegado el momento de romper?
How to know when it’s time to break up with your girlfriend or boyfriend and when there is no point in trying anymore?
Estas son las preguntas que a todos nos han rondado por la cabeza en algún momento de nuestra vida.
And if the question “How to know when to break up?” is something that’s been bothering you lately, you have come to the right place because you’re about to read 20 sure-fire signs that you should put a stop to your romance, without any further ado.
20 Bad Signs That It’s Time To End Your Relationship
1. No veis futuro juntos
One of the first bad signs that you ought to end your relationship is the fact that it isn’t going anywhere, as much as you hate to admit it.
You and your partner can’t seem to agree about your life goals and this is not someone you see yourself growing old next to.
This is especially the case if, for example, you want to start a family and have kids while they wouldn’t mind dating for a couple more years and can’t make you any promises regarding your future together.
You’ll have to agree that these are some serious rompe tratoss you won’t be able to surpass.
I’m not saying that every relationship has to last a lifetime but what’s the point of being with someone you know you won’t end up with?
Puede que las cosas vayan genial en este momento, pero si sabes que tu final es inevitable, ¿por qué perder más tiempo en una relación que está condenada al fracaso?
Instead, end everything in time because you’ll have to do it sooner or later.
2. Piensas en los demás
¿Cómo saber cuándo romper? Bueno, una de las respuestas es: cuando empiezas a pensar en otras personas.
There is absolutely nothing wrong if you see a girl or a guy you find objectively attractive even though you’re in a happy relationship.
After all, you’re not blind and you can’t help but notice when someone is good-looking.
Sin embargo, cuando amas de verdad a tu pareja, nunca harías un movimiento hacia ella.
You may see the most beautiful woman or the most handsome man but you will forget all about them as soon as they’re gone from your sight.
Nevertheless, this is not what’s happening with you. In fact, you keep thinking about other people in a romantic way.
You continuously picture yourself next to someone who is not your partner and you can’t help but imagine how your life would look next to another person.
Not only that—there is probably someone specific you can’t get out of your mind.
If this is something you can relate to, your relationship is already over; you’re just still unaware of that fact.
Even though you haven’t done anything just yet and you haven’t physically cheated on your significant other, having someone else in your thoughts is a reason enough to break up with them.
3. You aren’t making any progress
A relación sana debe hacerte avanzar y debe ser beneficioso para tu bienestar como persona.
Debe empujarte hacia adelante e inspirarte para convertirte en la mejor versión posible de ti mismo.
However, you feel like you can’t move an inch next to your partner. You feel like they’re holding you back and as if your romance leaves you no room for progress.
The same is happening with your entire relationship; it isn’t going anywhere and you are both stuck in exactly the same places you were when you just started dating and there has been no improvement whatsoever.
Nothing is going on and you haven’t evolved as a couple.
It is one thing if we’re talking about a relationship that lasts only a few months because in that case, you should give it a little more time to see whether you and your partner will start moving forward.
On the other hand, if you feel trapped in a long term relationship that hasn’t moved forward in years, it is a good sign that nothing will change in the future either.
4. Quieres cosas diferentes
Entre otros factores, para que tu relación tenga éxito es fundamental que seas compatible con tu otra mitad.
You two don’t have to literally be the same people but you should definitely have similar desires, ambitions and goals.
After all, this is someone you’re planning your life next to and you can expect a lot of fighting in the future unless you two have similar worldviews on the important things in life.
When you and your boyfriend want completely opposite things and have different attitudes in life but can’t seem to find a middle ground, some serious problems will arise sooner or later.
En este escenario, a veces es mejor terminar las cosas a tiempo antes de que sea demasiado tarde. La cruda realidad es que ninguno de los dos vais a cambiar (ni deberíais hacerlo) y es imposible vivir al lado de una persona que tiene poco en común contigo.
Opposites do attract—that is why you and your significant other started your relationship but they rarely last and that is why you two can’t manage to make your trabajo de relaciones ahora.
5. You’ve stopped having sex
Por muy ardiente que sea vuestra acción bajo las sábanas, nunca es suficiente para que vuestra relación tenga éxito.
Por otra parte, irónicamente, un mal vida sexual (or when you can’t remember the last time you had sex) is more than a good reason for it to go downhill and eventually break down completely.
And that is exactly what’s been going on with you and your partner lately.
Somehow, you two stopped having sex and even when you do sleep together, there is absolutely no passion involved and you feel like you’re performing a task that needs to be done.
Por supuesto, en este escenario, deberías intentar hablar con tu otra mitad antes de hacer ningún movimiento.
Quizá sólo estéis pasando por una mala fase o podríais mejorar las cosas con un poco de imaginación.
Nevertheless, if the situation continues in this manner after you’ve tried everything, it is more than clear that your chemistry is long gone.
They don’t find you attractive anymore (or vice versa) and this lack of sex will bring problems to other parts of your relationship sooner or later.
6. Peleas todo el tiempo
Les guste admitirlo o no, todas las parejas se pelean de vez en cuando.
Sin embargo, si usted y su pareja discuten por cualquier cosa y si toda su comunicación se basa en algún tipo de pelea, es una buena señal de que algo no va bien en su relación.
Another red flag that the question “How to know when to break up?” is appearing in your head with a reason is the fact that your arguments are not productive.
Os peleáis sin ningún motivo concreto, sólo para deshaceros de la energía negativa acumulada que sentís el uno hacia el otro.
Además, os insultáis y humilláis cada vez que tenéis un desacuerdo.
It is like you’re incapable of having a healthy discussion where your opinions oppose without turning it into a bigger issue.
The problem is also that you repeat your arguments. You don’t learn from them and you never once resolve them.
So, why do you keep staying in this kind of unhealthy environment? Why do you keep ruining your mental health by remaining next to someone you clearly can’t get along with?
7. You can’t forgive something from the past
Según los expertos en citas, la mayoría de las parejas rompen por algo que creían haber olvidado hace tiempo.
Sometimes, you think you forgave and forgot about your significant other’s infidelity, lying or abuse and you continue living with them for a certain period of time as if everything is behind you and in perfect order.
Luego, al cabo de unos años, de la nada, tus traumas del pasado empiezan a perseguirte.
Te das cuenta de que en realidad sigues guardando rencor y que el resentimiento te está comiendo vivo.
Odio tener que decírtelo, pero nunca perdonaste ni olvidaste las cosas que viviste.
Y probablemente nunca lo harás. Por lo tanto, la única oportunidad que tienes es alejarte.
Sabes que hiciste todo lo posible para superar este problema y tener un corazón abierto, pero tu resentimiento es simplemente más fuerte que tu razón y no hay nada que puedas hacer al respecto.
8. You feel like you’re alone in the relationship
No se puede arreglar un relación unilateral. You’re the only one trying, so what’s the point of investing more of yourself in a relationship you’re only interested in building?
I’m not saying that you and your partner have put exactly the same amount of effort into your romance.
There will be days when you’ll be giving your entire self, while they won’t try at all and vice versa. Nobody can measure or weigh the effort you’re both putting in.
However, if you feel like you’re alone in this relationship, why don’t you change your status and become officially single?
9. You’re only together because of your history
Muchas parejas se mantienen unidas por su pasado común.
This is especially the case when you’re still involved with your high school or college sweetheart; you two have been together for a lot of time, you’re part of each other’s families, you have a lot of mutual friends and you’ve grown up together.
Con el tiempo, esta persona se ha convertido en tu zona de confort. Sabes qué esperar de ella en cada momento y representa familiaridad y seguridad.
Even though this is all nice, it shouldn’t be the only reason you stay next to someone.
If you feel like you’ve superado esta persona and like your history together is the only thing that connects you, maybe it’s time to part ways.
Please, don’t feel guilty for choosing your future and present over your past. Don’t let your memories hold you back and prevent you from moving on with your life.
10. You stay because you don’t want to hurt your partner
A common reason why people stay in a relationship that doesn’t make them happy is guilt.
You have no doubt that you want out but you know that your decision would break your partner’s heart.
So you stay right where you are because you don’t want to destroy them emotionally or hurt their feelings.
Well, let me tell you that this is one of the worst things you can do. First and foremost, by doing this, you’re torturing yourself.
No matter how much you owe this person, you don’t have the duty to be in this relationship if that is not something you want.
Secondly, you’re hurting your partner even more by staying next to them, despite your desire to leave.
How do you think they would feel if they ever found out that you wanted to break up with them but didn’t have the courage to do so?
Al fin y al cabo, ¿querrías que tu ser querido estuviera contigo por compasión? ¿O preferirías que te dejara?
11. Empiezan a irritarte
Cuando quieres a alguien, todo lo que hace es bonito. Pero cuando dejas de quererlo, cada pequeña cosa que hace empieza a molestarte.
This is exactly what’s going on with your relationship; it seems that you’re even bothered by the way your significant other inhales and exhales air.
You’re irritated by the way they talk, eat and behave in every possible situation.
Most of all—you’re annoyed by their presence and touch. You can’t stand this person hugging or kissing you, nor can you put up with them sleeping next to you anymore.
Sounds familiar, right? Well, it is a clear sign that it’s time to consider a breakup.
Yes, there is a possibility of this being just a phase. Maybe you’re easily agitated in general and involuntarily direct all of your negative energy toward the person you love the most.
On the other hand, if you can’t get rid of this feeling after some time has passed, it is a clear sign that it’s time to consider breaking up.
12. Espera que cambien
Have you ever gotten yourself into a relationship with a person whose personality traits and habits you don’t like?
Have you ever fallen in love with someone’s potential instead of their true self? From day one, you expected them to change.
Esperabas que tu amor les inspiraría para ser diferentes y mejores y para darse cuenta por fin de sus errores. Sin embargo, este cambio nunca llegó.
You’re both the same people you were at the beginning of your relationship and the truth is that those people are not compatible and can’t function together.
Don’t feel bad about this situation because it is one of the common reasons people part ways.
Instead, get to terms with the fact that your significant other will never change for real (because they don’t want to do so in the first place) and if you can’t accept their true personality, stop trying to modify them and end things in a healthy way.
13. Todo el mundo a tu alrededor apoya una ruptura
You’re a mature adult who doesn’t need anyone else’s guidance through life.
You don’t need people telling you what to do or who to date. Despite all of this, you know very well that your best friends and family members wish you all the best.
Y la verdad es que, en muchos casos, pueden ver tu relación sentimental de forma más clara y objetiva.
Al fin y al cabo, sus emociones no están invertidas en tu relación y notan las señales de alarma antes que tú.
Por lo tanto, si tus allegados no dejan de aconsejarte que te hagas un nueva relación and end this one, maybe they’re right.
Of course, this shouldn’t be the only reason for you to break things off. However, if you’re in doubt and aren’t sure whether there are enough warning signs that you should walk away, take their opinions into consideration.
14. No tiene comunicación
You can’t have a good relationship without healthy communication. You and your partner shouldn’t be just lovers—you should be best friends as well.
Debe ser la primera persona a la que quieras contárselo todo, tu confidente y consejero.
Alguien que sabes que siempre te dirá la verdad, por dura que sea, pero que al mismo tiempo nunca te juzgará.
Sadly, you and your partner stopped communicating in the healthiest ways. All you do is argue, you don’t share secrets anymore and you would rather talk to anyone besides them.
De hecho, a veces parece que habéis dejado de hablar por completo. Sí, habláis de cosas cotidianas sin importancia, pero no hay rastro de las conversaciones profundas y significativas que solíais tener.
El silencio que te rodea es cualquier cosa menos agradable o reconfortante; es incómodo y lleno de tensión.
15. Se ha roto la confianza
Another warning sign that it’s time to end your relationship is the lack of trust you’re dealing with.
Es probable que algo haya sucedido para que dejes de confiar en tu pareja o viceversa, pero lo cierto es que tu relación actual no se acerca ni de lejos al romance que tuvisteis en el pasado.
You see, your partner should be someone who would never betray you, the person you know you can always rely on and someone you know wouldn’t abandon you just because you’re going through some rough patch.
Sin embargo, no es así como te sientes últimamente. En lugar de eso, pierdes mucho tiempo y energía en controlarles.
You can’t get yourself to believe a word this person tells you and as much as you try, you don’t consider them to be trustworthy.
16. You’re in a relationship out of fear of being alone
Let’s face it—you would ditch your current relationship if it weren’t for one thing—your fear of being alone.
You can’t stand your single life and you feel lonely and deserted when you’re not a part of a couple and that is the only reason why you haven’t gotten out of this romance.
Si este es el caso, es una señal de advertencia de que una ruptura es lo mejor que puedes hacer en este instante.
Recuerde que ser soltero in a healthy way beats being in a relationship that doesn’t make you happy anytime.
After all, there is nothing wrong with not having a romantic partner and it doesn’t mean that you’re alone in this world.
Aún tienes tu trabajo, tus amigos, tu familia y, lo que es más importante, aún te tienes a ti mismo.
Despite what you might think, you don’t need someone to complete you or to give your life meaning. Trust me—you’ll be perfectly fine on your own.
17. Seguís rompiendo y volviendo a estar juntos
A primera vista, las relaciones intermitentes parecen excitantes y emocionantes.
When you keep on breaking up and getting back together with someone, you see it as a clear sign that you two can’t live without each other and that you’re destinados a acabar juntos.
Well, it’s time to take off your rose-tinted glasses and see this practice as a red flag that this is not the person for you.
I don’t care who is responsible for these behavior patterns—tu relación es tóxica y está arruinando tu salud mental y emocional.
What exactly don’t you understand? If you and your partner could function together and if you had the ability to build a good relationship, you wouldn’t have been parting way every few weeks or months.
It is more than obvious that things aren’t working, never did and, sadly, never will.
Break this relationship off once for all and give yourself space to find a new relationship that won’t bring along all of this drama.
18. Hay más contras que pros
El amor no es un negocio. Sin embargo, hay veces en que hay que seguir la razón y no solo el corazón.
Hay momentos en los que no queda más remedio que sopesar las cosas y decidir cuál es el paso correcto.
And that is exactly what you did—you asked yourself how to know when to romperescribiste en un papel todas las ventajas e inconvenientes de tu relación.
Has enumerado todos los momentos felices y todos los tristes y has llegado a la conclusión de que hay muchos más contras que pros.
So, what more evidence do you need? Aren’t all those dealbreakers reason enough to leave your partner and to stop torturing yourself and ruining your emotional health?
19. You aren’t happy
Your romantic relationship should make you happy—there is no arguing with that.
Of course, it shouldn’t be the only source of your happiness but it should bring joy and satisfaction to your life.
That’s the entire point of having a partner, right? To make your life a little bit better because you can be perfectly unhappy on your own.
I’m not saying that there should be rainbows and unicorns all the time and that healthy relationships don’t have situations in which both of the people involved are sad or feel bad but if your relationship is making you miserable most of the time, it is not the real deal.
Deja de perder el tiempo con una persona y una relación que te hacen sentir nervioso, negativo, pesimista o infeliz con tu vida amorosa.
20. You don’t love each other anymore
Aunque el amor no basta para que una relación funcione, es una de las condiciones más importantes para que un romance tenga éxito.
You can have the best relationship ever on paper but if you and your partner stopped loving each other (or if one of you doesn’t have any emotions left), I’m sorry but there is probably nothing you can do.
It doesn’t matter who dejó de amar whom; either way, don’t settle for being in a loveless relationship. Instead, pick yourself back up, walk away and focus on healing your broken heart.
