I never thought I’d be talking to you ever again. I thought once I got far away from you, I’d be saved, and that’d be the last time we hear from each other, but life has its way of showing me I should switch up and start looking the bigger picture.

I was thinking if I should introduce myself, but then it hit me that a predator always knows his pray, and I know you’d recognize me no matter where. You’d differ my ‘handwriting’ from somebody else’s everywhere because you know me perfectly well, don’t you?

You remember this insecure girl who needed somebody to love her because she wasn’t strong enough to love herself? Yeah, I knew you’d recognize me.

There are things that I haven’t told you and I have this skin-itching desire to give myself closure to our story. I need it so I can move on. I need it so I don’t grant you the last word in what happened between us.

I had no idea how weak I was, but you did. I was a perfect victim for your games and I was just the one you could manipulate,—so naive and so pure-hearted it would be a sin not to use me and satisfy your narcissistic ego, right? Boy, I was such a good catch to you.

Bajé la guardia.

Porque I didn’t know how to love myself, I needed somebody else to love me instead. I needed to have somebody by my side because I had no idea how it feels to feel good about yourself. That was so wrong. Whenever something bad happened, I guessed I was the one to be blamed, I thought it was my fault. I always thought I was the guilty one—what else is new?

Te dejé entrar.

You taught me it’s not OK to let people in.

I never trusted someone like I trusted you. I believed you’ll be good to me and that you’d never hurt me. When I showed you my deepest feelings, when I poured my heart out in the open, when I whispered my fears the quietest I could, you showed me I should’ve kept them to myself.

Tú eres quien me enseñó a no amar.

I thought you’d taken care of me, but I survived every downfall alone. Every setback I had, you pretended you didn’t see. But it made you feel good, didn’t it—to see me at my lowest? That’s exactly where you needed me in order to feel better about yourself.

I was drowning and I was hoping you would be the one to save me. You would have pulled my hand if you were one of the good guys. But you weren’t. Now I know, you’d stretch your hand towards the water but not to save me—, it’d be just to push me in deeper.

Quiero que pienses en la chica que utilizaste en su momento más vulnerable. Quiero que pienses en la chica que te dio su amor sin recibir nada a cambio. Quiero que pienses en la chica que sólo recibió magulladuras en el corazón del hombre en quien más confiaba.

Ahora, quiero que pienses en la chica que merecía algo mejor que eso.

Quiero que pienses en la chica que merecía algo mejor que ser ignorada.

Quiero que pienses en la chica que merecía algo mejor que ser manipulada.

Quiero que pienses en la chica que merecía a alguien mejor que tú.

Esta chica quiere darte las gracias. I am grateful to you for treating me like I didn’t deserve a place in this world. I thank you for manipulating me, ignoring me, and playing me. I am grateful for each and every emotional beating you put me through. I want to thank you for not loving me. Because you made me love myself. 

Cuando no había nadie más para amarme, confié en mí mismo. Cuando no había nadie más para salvarme, me salvé a mí mismo. Cuando no había nadie que me levantara cuando me derribaste, me levanté sola. Puede que no lo pretendieras, pero es a ti a quien tengo que agradecer que me hayas hecho tan fuerte.

I learned to walk alone in this world. I realized that the love I deserve was never gonna come from you. I learned I am good enough for somebody else. I don’t need to be good for you—I am good enough for myself. I deserve all the love in this world because that’s all I was giving to others as well. I realized Me merecía a alguien mejor que tú and that’s what gave me the strength to leave you just when I thought I could never live without you.

Ya sabes, Ya estoy listo. I am the healthy soul that’s finally ready to let somebody else in. That’s why I gave myself permission to think of you again. I’m doing it so I could say goodbye to you. I realize it’s not me that wasn’t good enough for you, but it was you that wasn’t good enough for me.

Puedes pensar que me conoces perfectamente, pero estás muy equivocado. Estás tan equivocado conmigo como yo lo estaba contigo al principio de la historia. Eras mi oscuridad y te dejé ir.

I am finally ready to move on and we’re finally done. You won’t recognize my escritura anymore because it’s a happy person that’s writing from now on. It’s this lucky person who learned to love herself and found somebody to give her the love she deserves.