Qué es el microtrampeo (y por qué puede ser peligroso)

The thing with micro-cheating is that it’s very hard to detect. It is a form of engaño emocional and it’s getting more and more common among people who like to leave their options open, even if they are already in a relationship.

Let’s first get to the real meaning of this trendy expression. According to psychologist Melanie Schilling, “Micro-cheating is a series of seemingly small actions that indicate a person is emotionally or physically focused on someone outside their relationship.”

Some people look at it as a form of betrayal and some as innocent flirting that is blown out of proportion. Why, flirting can be a part of nature for some people, it’s something fun they do without giving it any higher meaning.

Entonces, ¿quién querría estar en una relación con una persona que:

1. Dedica gran parte de su tiempo a escanear e investigar las cuentas de redes sociales de una persona en particular.
2. Envía a otra persona mensajes conmovedores llenos de emojis de amor
3. Niega tener novia/novio
4. Tiene esa persona en particular bajo un nombre en clave en su teléfono
5. Se mantiene en contacto con su ex o lo ve a tus espaldas
6. Confides in someone outside of your relationship about the things that should stay private or reserved for your partner’s ears only

While some people will discard the things listed above and try to justify their behavior, like justify that they haven’t kissed them, they haven’t had sex with them or anything like that, it still doesn’t feel right. Guardar secretos like that from your partner can’t be a good thing and it will most probably backfire. Nothing positive can happen when a person who is in a relationship has an obsession with somebody else. It can be really hurtful.
Innocent flirting, if it can be considered innocent, would consist of smiling here and there, making interesting conversation or liking each other’s posts. That is considered normal.

But anything beyond that can be a serious threat to your relationship. A person who engages in micro-cheating can form a strong emotional bond with somebody and that can be as hurtful to their partner as actual physical cheating. Being faithful to your partner means being entirely devoted, both body and mind. It doesn’t mean catching feelings for somebody else.

That’s why if you are overdoing anything, if you are hiding things from your partner, or feeling guilty about not sharing some things with him, you should completely stop what you are doing, for the sake of your relationship.

Piensa en qué te impulsó a hacerlo y si hay algo que te está haciendo infeliz en su relación. Are they any issues you need to discuss with your partner? Because the solution to your problems is never somebody outside of your relationship. It’s always about just two people. You can’t escape your problems, especially in this way, and you wouldn’t want to hurt your partner’s feelings.

Si sospechas que tu pareja puede estar implicada en algo así, algo habrá ocurrido que haya plantado esa semilla de la duda en tu mente. Puede que su comportamiento haya cambiado, que hayas visto algún mensaje o algún nombre desconocido en su teléfono que te haya hecho preguntarte si había algo más allí.

Lo importante aquí es no reaccionar exageradamente. Tómese las cosas con calma. Porque, para empezar, puede que tu pareja sólo esté haciendo esto a un nivel subconsciente. Puede que no esté haciendo absolutamente nada, pero a veces los celos se apoderan de ti.
Habla con él cuando estés tranquila y serena y pregúntale por qué lo hace. Pregúntale qué pensaría si las cosas fueran al revés y se enterara de que te estás acercando o enganchando a alguien que no es él. Dile que su comportamiento te está haciendo daño y que le agradecerías mucho que dejara de hacer lo que está haciendo. No hay nada tan poderoso como una conversación abierta y sincera. Incluso podría arreglar toda la situación.

Micro-cheating can be really devastating to your relationship if things go any further. Keeping secrets from your partner is never a good thing. Relationships are built on trust and respect and if they are non-existent, your relationship won’t be able to survive. So honesty really is the best policy.