Dice que necesita tiempo, ¿cuánto tiempo debo esperar?
Lo primero es lo primero: no hay por qué preocuparse ni angustiarse si actualmente estás en una situación de "necesito algo de espacio" con tu novia.
The probability that it means the end of the relationship is low – it’s more likely that she’s actually trying to make your relationship work by giving the both of you a chance to think about it. That, or she’s going through some personal stuff.
The chances of a breakup are low, but not zero, so if you had done something that could cause her to consider a breakup, you’d probably already have a pretty good idea of what’s going on. In that case, empieza a trabajar en tus disculpas si quieres salvar tu relación, y hazlo en serio.
So, if you hadn’t messed up in some way, you’re thinking, “If she says she needs time, how long should I wait before contacting my girlfriend?” Truthfully, you should wait as long as you’re willing to wait for her.
Let’s see what that means, how to know what’s on her mind and what you should do.
Dice que necesita tiempo, ¿cuánto tiempo debo esperar?
Cuando tu novia te dice que necesita algo de espacio, inevitablemente te enfrentas a un dilema: ¿haces lo que te dice y respetas sus deseos de mantenerse alejada o le demuestras que te importa poniéndote en contacto con ella?
Siempre debe elegir la primera opción.
If she’s honest about needing space, she’ll appreciate that you’re taking her wishes seriously instead of disrespecting her boundaries. If she’s testing you to see if you’ll fight for her in some imaginary struggle, you’re refusing to play her games and base your relationship on deception.
When you decide to give her the space she needs, you’re now in another predicament. “She says she needs time. How long should I wait?” you’re probably thinking. Este tipo de tiene una respuesta clara: de una semana a un mes.
She might contact you sooner, and it’s possible that she might need longer than a month, but the longer it takes, the more likely it is that she doesn’t want to stay in the relationship. But it’s ‘kind of’ because the answer to this question still depends on a number of factors which only you know.
• How new is the relationship? If you’ve been together for a while, you might be able to figure out what she wants.
• Have you been having relationship problems? What happened before she asked for time?
• How strong is your conexión emocional? ¿Son honestos y sinceros el uno con el otro?
• How do you feel about her and do you know how she feels about you? Don’t look for a solution by thinking in terms of what women want, but consider what ella quiere.
• How much do you trust her? Do you believe that she’ll come back?
• Did you do anything to hurt her?
Piensa detenidamente en estas preguntas y luego espera el tiempo que creas que ella necesita.
Taking some time for yourself isn’t a bad thing. Un poco de espacio es saludable en una relaciónpero cuando te pide distancia, te da miedo porque te preocupa que quiera romper.
When she talks to you about needing time, it’s a good idea to ask her how much time she needs and what does media espacial a ella. Puede que ella y tú tengáis ideas diferentes sobre lo que significa: puede que ella quiera decir que os veáis menos o que no os veáis en absoluto.
Si desea un relación sana, you’ll take her wishes into account. Don’t make her explain why, but ask her how she wants you to deal with it. Maybe your girlfriend wants occasional contact, maybe she wants none.
Dale tiempo para que se ocupe de lo que necesita y, después del tiempo que dijo que quería, ponte en contacto con ella. If she still needs time, don’t try to pressure her, but give her the additional time she needs.
¿Qué quiere decir cuando dice que necesita tiempo?
Tratar de entender lo que no se dijo puede complicarte mucho la vida sentimental. Cuando tu novia dice que necesita tiempo, ¿a qué se refiere? Of course, the best way to find out is through honest communication, but if she’s not ready to talk about it, you’re left with worry.
Repasa esta lista de posibles razones por las que podría necesito tiempo pensando en cómo es vuestra relación. You’ll be able to find a lot of clues for what the real answer is if you closely think about your particular circumstances.
1. Necesita tiempo para sí misma
Sometimes when she says she needs alone time, she just needs some alone time and it has nothing to do with you or anyone else. When she needs space because she’s busy, has a lot on her plate or she’s simply tired, sometimes that’s all there is to it. There’s no need to complicate the situation.
2. Tiene problemas personales no relacionados contigo
Puede que tenga problemas con su familia, que le ocurra algo en el trabajo o que tenga problemas de salud mental, por lo que necesita tiempo para afrontarlos. There’s no need to be hurt that she isn’t discussing these things with you – maybe her way of working through her problems is that she needs to completely focus on them, so anyone’s help might be unwelcome.
3. Necesita tiempo lejos de ti
If you’ve been coming on too strong, she might be overwhelmed by you. If you spend too much time together, she might need time to feel like an individual instead of always being a part of a couple. Necesita recuperar parte de su independencia.
It might be tempting to take this to heart and get angry or offended, but accepting each other’s boundaries is part of a healthy relationship. Right now she’s setting hers, so by respecting them, you’re creating a basis of a successful relationship.
4. She thinks you’re moving too fast
Examine your behavior. Have you placed responsibility for your feelings on her? Did you say ‘I love you’ after you’ve been dating for a month? Are you looking at her for validation instead of having confidence in your self-worth?
Cuando alguien está necesitado e insegurotienden a encariñarse demasiado rápido con sus parejas románticas. You need to think hard about your behavior to figure out if you’ve been acting that way. If you have, use the time apart to start working on your self-esteem.
5. She’s angry with you
Have you done something and when you tried to ask her to forgive you, all she said was “I need space?” If she’s angry with you, don’t just wait for her to forgive you and come back. Debes reflexionar sobre tus actos, pensar en cómo la heriste, decidir cómo compensarla y prepara tu disculpa.
When you apologize, you must mean it and accept responsibility for what you’ve done. You must be prepared to make changes.
6. She thinks it’s you who needs time
Al decirle que necesita tiempo, puede que en realidad te esté dando tiempo porque piensa que necesitas trabajar en algunas cosas. Puede que estés atascado con un ex, que tengas problemas para comprometerte, que hagas repetidamente cosas que ella te pide que no hagas.
Think about what led to her asking for space – probablemente ya te dijo cuál era el problema.
7. She doesn’t know how to talk to you
She might have a problem she doesn’t know how to talk about or she’s afraid of how you might react. If you don’t know cómo comunicar eficazmente entre vosotros, puede causar muchos problemas en vuestra relación.
Los dos tenéis que aprender a hablaros. It starts by listening and looking to understand each other without judgment. Let her know that you’re willing to listen.
8. She doesn’t want a serious relationship
If you’ve only been dating for a while and you made it clear you want something serious, she might need time to think about it. Commitment is a big step which shouldn’t be taken lightly.
It might be too soon or she’s not looking for a serious relationship right now, so it’s better to take a step back to make sure you’re on the same page. If your values aren’t the same, there’s a chance that things won’t work out, so don’t uninstall your online dating apps just yet.
9. She’s unsure of her feelings
It’s perfectly normal to have doubts about your feelings. Realizing how you feel about someone is sometimes easier when you’re apart. If she’s not sure about how she feels about you and your relationship, she made the decision to take some time and think about it.
Don’t push and make her decide right away. Dale la oportunidad de dar sentido a sus sentimientos y averiguar lo que realmente quiere.
10. She’s unhappy in your relationship
¿Cómo tratas a tu novia? Sé sincero contigo mismo y piensa si le das cariño con regularidad, le demuestras que la aprecias y te esfuerzas para que vuestra relación funcione.
If she thinks you’ve been taking her for granted or that you don’t listen to her, she’s infeliz en su relación y necesita dar un paso atrás. Esta es tu oportunidad de comprometerte a hacer cambios si quieres conservarla.
11. Quiere decidir si vuestra relación merece la pena
Relationships have their ups and downs. At the end of the day, it’s important that there are more good than bad things about it because otherwise, what’s the point? Si tu relación te hace desgraciada y no te hace feliz, ¿por qué quedarte?
Si tu novia está pasando por el proceso de averiguar cómo se siente respecto a vuestra relación, necesita tiempo para sopesar los pros y los contras y controlarse a sí misma.
12. She’s interested in someone else
Your girlfriend might be interested in someone else, but if that option isn’t secure, she’s keeping you on the hook in case things don’t work out with them.
Have you ever noticed that she’s showing interest in someone else, such as talking to them online a lot or talking about them like she can’t help herself but bring them up? If you figure out for sure that you’re just a fallback for her, it’s best to move on.
13. She’s playing games
She might be testing you or trying to gain the upper hand in the relationship. If she’s manipulative and does things to ensure that she has all the power, asking for space might be one of her tactics.
Someone like this isn’t really interested in you, only in what you can give them. Si she’s playing games with you, she doesn’t take you seriously, so think honestly about her behavior so far and you’ll be able to tell if she has feelings for you or if she’s just using you.
14. She’s thinking of ending things
Maybe she’s not 100% sure that she wants to break up, but she’s considering it, so she might be taking time to think about it and see what it’s like to be on her own. Si piensa en su relación, puede encontrar algunas pistas de que esto está ocurriendo.
¿Las cosas han ido mal? ¿Es claramente infeliz? ¿Se ha mostrado distante incluso antes de pedir tiempo? Pueden ser señales de que quiere dejar la relación.
15. She’s thinks she’s letting you down gently
Por desgracia, a veces necesitar tiempo es un código para romper contigo sin decirlo. En lugar de decirte que quiere romper, she’s letting things fade away. The reason she’s doing it might be because she doesn’t want to hurt your feelings, or she’s being cowardly and letting time do what she should do herself.
RELACIONADO: 8 maneras de dar espacio a alguien y mantenerlo a tu lado
¿Qué hacer cuando una chica dice que necesita tiempo para pensar?
Los siguientes consejos sobre relaciones se aplican a cualquier situación: una relación duradera, una relación a distancia o una nueva relación. Your best bet for a positive outcome is if you show her care, honesty and respect, and don’t try to force anything.
You’ll achieve that by following these tips.
1. Dale tiempo y espacio
If your girlfriend asks you to give her space, then you should give her space. If you refuse, thinking that you must keep her close, you’ll make her uncomfortable and push her away for sure. By respecting her wishes, you’re showing that you respect su.
Pídele que te diga cuánto tiempo cree que necesita y cuánto espacio necesita, pero don’t interrogate her, make her explain why and give you any definite answers because she doesn’t have them either.
2. Don’t pressure her
Así que dijiste que sí y aceptaste dejarla sola durante un tiempo. Even though you want to make things better and get her to spend time with you again, don’t try to force it. If she told you that it’s okay to contact her, you don’t have to follow the ‘no contact rule’.
You can keep in touch, but don’t call and text her all the time. Don’t be desperate y rogarle que termine con esto. Don’t try to impress her so that she’ll want to come back. If she’s not ready for a relationship, trying to make her change her mind, guilt-trip her or tell you when she’ll be done taking her time, you’re only prolonging it
3. Don’t think of it as a breakup
If this is the first time you’ve been in this situation, you might be worried that this is really a breakup or that it’s inevitable. Don’t get angry and make any rash decisions. Hay alguna posibilidad de que lo sea, pero antes de que decidas pensar en ella como tu ex, piensa si tienes motivos para creerlo.
¿Ha pasado algo o has hecho algo para que ella quiera romper contigo? If you can’t think of anything, then give her the benefit of the doubt. If you trust her, trust what she’s saying. If you don’t trust her, think about why that is and what you can do to change it. Use this time wisely.
4. Reflexione sobre su relación
A menos que necesite tiempo para trabajar en asuntos personales, esta situación tiene algo que ver con vuestra relación. Tiempo y espacio no hará que tus problemas desaparezcan por arte de magia, pero puede daros a ambos la oportunidad de reflexionar sobre vosotros mismos, vuestros problemas y cómo habéis contribuido a ellos.
Debes participar en la búsqueda de soluciones a tus problemas examinando honestamente cómo es tu relación y cómo puedes mejorarla. Unless you openly admit to yourself what your role in your relationship problems is in the first place, you can’t figure out what doesn’t work and how to fix it.
5. Trabaja en ti mismo
While she’s taking her time, you shouldn’t sit around waiting. Instead, make an effort to conviértete en una mejor versión de ti mismo. Aunque sea imposible cambiar de vida en tan poco tiempo, se puede conseguir mucho.
Intenta identificar las cosas de ti mismo que quieres mejorar y aprende a acercarte a ser como quieres ser. This doesn’t have to be related to your relationship.
For example, if you want to be more confident, learn how you can do it by watching videos on a YouTube channel or reading articles and books. Doing this won’t turn you into someone perfectly confident overnight, but te dará inspiración y las herramientas que necesitas. Ahora sólo tienes que esforzarte y seguir adelante.
6. Pasar tiempo con otras personas
If you’re used to spending time with your girlfriend, you could get lonely if you suddenly have a lot of time for yourself. Aprovecha el tiempo que tú y tu novia estéis separados para reconectar con personas de tu vida.
En lugar de regodearte en la autocompasión, llama a tu mejor amigo y pensad en algo divertido que hacer. Visitar a familiares y salir con amigos will help you get out of your head and stop worrying about what’s going on.
7. Don’t stalk her
It’s normal that you follow your girlfriend on social media and there’s no need for this to change, but don’t check up on her. There’s no need to ignore it when she updates, but don’t comment and like her posts. Don’t follow her around redes sociales...comprobando su actividad y controlando con quién interactúa.
Don’t show up in places you know she’s going to be and try to make it seem like you ran into her by chance. The more you try to push her, the more she’ll withdraw. By keeping a close eye on her, you’re only giving yourself anxiety without achieving anything with her.
8. Permanecer fiel
Si abres tinder buscando ligar en el momento en que tu novia te pide espacio, deberías replantearte tu relación con ella. Maybe this is an opportunity to change your habits and get out of the relationship if you’re not happy.
On the other hand, if you know you want to be with her, then make sure that your actions are in line with your wishes. It’s normal to be upset and miss her, but you must not let your feelings do something you might regret. Stay loyal to her in every way so that when you’re reunited, you don’t have anything to hide.
9. Ser mejor compañero cuando vuelva
First of all, you should be prepared to have an open conversation with her. Talk about the reasons she needed space if they’re related to you or your relationship, share what you’ve figured out and how you both plan to go on.
If her reason for taking time was personal, offer to listen if she wants to talk about it. Listen to her concerns and commit to improving your relationship. If she was feeling bad because of your actions, make sure you’re serious about not doing it again.
Tell her of any issues you might have, but don’t accuse her or get angry. If something in your relationship wasn’t working, you both have to decide to work on it.
RELACIONADO: 10 señales de que necesitas espacio en tu relación y por qué es algo bueno
En resumen
Relationships are complicated, but never more than when you’re unsure of where you stand and what you should do. As long as you have good intentions and want to do what’s best for your relationship, you can feel real struggle thinking, “She says she needs time, how long should I wait?”
It’s understandable: you want to respect your girlfriend’s wishes, but you don’t want your relationship to fade away if you wait too long. Generally, having to wait for over a month isn’t a good sign, but even three months of space have been known to save marriages.
She might need time and space for a number of reasons, but you’re the one who can best figure out which one applies to your situation based on how your relationship so far looks like, her behavior and your own actions.
Hagas lo que hagas, don’t try to force it – this will only drive her away. Instead, work on yourself so that when she comes back, you have a chance to contribute more to your relationship. Good luck!
