Ela diz que precisa de tempo, quanto tempo devo esperar?
Em primeiro lugar: não há necessidade de se preocupar e de ficar ansioso se estiver atualmente numa situação de "preciso de espaço" com a sua namorada.
The probability that it means the end of the relationship is low – it’s more likely that she’s actually trying to make your relationship work by giving the both of you a chance to think about it. That, or she’s going through some personal stuff.
The chances of a breakup are low, but not zero, so if you had done something that could cause her to consider a breakup, you’d probably already have a pretty good idea of what’s going on. In that case, se queres salvar a tua relação, começa a trabalhar no teu pedido de desculpas e fala a sério.
So, if you hadn’t messed up in some way, you’re thinking, “If she says she needs time, how long should I wait before contacting my girlfriend?” Truthfully, you should wait as long as you’re willing to wait for her.
Let’s see what that means, how to know what’s on her mind and what you should do.
Ela diz que precisa de tempo, quanto tempo devo esperar?
Quando a sua namorada lhe diz que precisa de espaço, vê-se inevitavelmente confrontado com um dilema: faz o que ela diz e respeita a sua vontade de se afastar ou mostra-lhe que se preocupa, contactando-a?
Deve escolher sempre a primeira opção.
If she’s honest about needing space, she’ll appreciate that you’re taking her wishes seriously instead of disrespecting her boundaries. If she’s testing you to see if you’ll fight for her in some imaginary struggle, you’re refusing to play her games and base your relationship on deception.
When you decide to give her the space she needs, you’re now in another predicament. “She says she needs time. How long should I wait?” you’re probably thinking. Este tipo de tem uma resposta clara: uma semana a um mês.
She might contact you sooner, and it’s possible that she might need longer than a month, but the longer it takes, the more likely it is that she doesn’t want to stay in the relationship. But it’s ‘kind of’ because the answer to this question still depends on a number of factors which only you know.
• How new is the relationship? If you’ve been together for a while, you might be able to figure out what she wants.
• Have you been having relationship problems? What happened before she asked for time?
• How strong is your ligação emocional? São honestos e sinceros um com o outro?
• How do you feel about her and do you know how she feels about you? Don’t look for a solution by thinking in terms of what women want, but consider what ela quer.
• How much do you trust her? Do you believe that she’ll come back?
• Did you do anything to hurt her?
Pense cuidadosamente nestas questões e depois espere o tempo que achar necessário.
Taking some time for yourself isn’t a bad thing. Algum espaço é saudável numa relaçãoMas quando ela pede distância, é assustador, porque nos faz recear que ela queira acabar com tudo.
When she talks to you about needing time, it’s a good idea to ask her how much time she needs and what does média espacial para ela. Ela e você podem ter ideias diferentes sobre o que isso significa: talvez ela queira dizer que nos vemos menos ou que não nos vemos de todo.
Se quiser um relação saudável, you’ll take her wishes into account. Don’t make her explain why, but ask her how she wants you to deal with it. Maybe your girlfriend wants occasional contact, maybe she wants none.
Dê-lhe tempo para tratar do que precisa e, depois de decorrido o tempo que ela disse querer, contacte-a. If she still needs time, don’t try to pressure her, but give her the additional time she needs.
O que é que ela quer dizer quando diz que precisa de tempo?
Tentar perceber o que ficou por dizer pode facilmente tornar a sua vida amorosa muito complicada. Quando a tua namorada diz que precisa de tempo, o que é que ela quer dizer? Of course, the best way to find out is through honest communication, but if she’s not ready to talk about it, you’re left with worry.
Consulte esta lista de possíveis razões pelas quais ela pode precisar de tempo pensar em como é a vossa relação. You’ll be able to find a lot of clues for what the real answer is if you closely think about your particular circumstances.
1. Ela precisa de tempo para si própria
Sometimes when she says she needs alone time, she just needs some alone time and it has nothing to do with you or anyone else. When she needs space because she’s busy, has a lot on her plate or she’s simply tired, sometimes that’s all there is to it. There’s no need to complicate the situation.
2. Ela tem problemas pessoais que não estão relacionados consigo
Ela pode ter problemas com a família, algo que está a acontecer no trabalho ou problemas de saúde mental, pelo que precisa de tempo para lidar com isso. There’s no need to be hurt that she isn’t discussing these things with you – maybe her way of working through her problems is that she needs to completely focus on them, so anyone’s help might be unwelcome.
3. Ela precisa de estar longe de si
If you’ve been coming on too strong, she might be overwhelmed by you. If you spend too much time together, she might need time to feel like an individual instead of always being a part of a couple. Ela precisa de recuperar alguma da sua independência.
It might be tempting to take this to heart and get angry or offended, but accepting each other’s boundaries is part of a healthy relationship. Right now she’s setting hers, so by respecting them, you’re creating a basis of a successful relationship.
4. She thinks you’re moving too fast
Examine your behavior. Have you placed responsibility for your feelings on her? Did you say ‘I love you’ after you’ve been dating for a month? Are you looking at her for validation instead of having confidence in your self-worth?
Quando alguém é carente e inseguroSe não se sentirem à vontade, tendem a afeiçoar-se demasiado depressa aos seus parceiros românticos. You need to think hard about your behavior to figure out if you’ve been acting that way. If you have, use the time apart to start working on your self-esteem.
5. She’s angry with you
Have you done something and when you tried to ask her to forgive you, all she said was “I need space?” If she’s angry with you, don’t just wait for her to forgive you and come back. Deve refletir sobre os seus actos, pensar em como a magoou, decidir como a compensar e preparar o seu pedido de desculpas.
When you apologize, you must mean it and accept responsibility for what you’ve done. You must be prepared to make changes.
6. She thinks it’s you who needs time
Ao dizer-lhe que precisa de tempo, ela pode estar a dar-lhe tempo porque acha que precisa de resolver algumas coisas. Pode estar preso a uma ex, pode ter dificuldade em comprometer-se, pode fazer repetidamente coisas que ela lhe pede para não fazer.
Think about what led to her asking for space – ela provavelmente já lhe disse qual era o problema.
7. She doesn’t know how to talk to you
She might have a problem she doesn’t know how to talk about or she’s afraid of how you might react. If you don’t know como comunicar eficazmente um com o outro, isso pode causar muitos problemas na vossa relação.
Ambos precisam de aprender a falar um com o outro. It starts by listening and looking to understand each other without judgment. Let her know that you’re willing to listen.
8. She doesn’t want a serious relationship
If you’ve only been dating for a while and you made it clear you want something serious, she might need time to think about it. Commitment is a big step which shouldn’t be taken lightly.
It might be too soon or she’s not looking for a serious relationship right now, so it’s better to take a step back to make sure you’re on the same page. If your values aren’t the same, there’s a chance that things won’t work out, so don’t uninstall your online dating apps just yet.
9. She’s unsure of her feelings
It’s perfectly normal to have doubts about your feelings. Realizing how you feel about someone is sometimes easier when you’re apart. If she’s not sure about how she feels about you and your relationship, she made the decision to take some time and think about it.
Don’t push and make her decide right away. Dê-lhe a oportunidade de dar sentido aos seus sentimentos e de descobrir o que realmente quer.
10. She’s unhappy in your relationship
Como está a tratar a sua namorada? Seja honesto consigo próprio e pense se lhe dá regularmente afeto, se lhe mostra que a aprecia e se se esforça para que a vossa relação funcione.
If she thinks you’ve been taking her for granted or that you don’t listen to her, she’s infeliz na sua relação e precisa de se afastar. Esta é a sua oportunidade de se comprometer a fazer mudanças se quiser ficar com ela.
11. Ela quer decidir se a vossa relação vale a pena
Relationships have their ups and downs. At the end of the day, it’s important that there are more good than bad things about it because otherwise, what’s the point? Se a sua relação o está a tornar infeliz e não o faz feliz, porquê ficar?
Se a sua namorada está a passar pelo processo de descobrir o que sente em relação à vossa relação, ela precisa de tempo para pesar os prós e os contras e para se controlar.
12. She’s interested in someone else
Your girlfriend might be interested in someone else, but if that option isn’t secure, she’s keeping you on the hook in case things don’t work out with them.
Have you ever noticed that she’s showing interest in someone else, such as talking to them online a lot or talking about them like she can’t help herself but bring them up? If you figure out for sure that you’re just a fallback for her, it’s best to move on.
13. She’s playing games
She might be testing you or trying to gain the upper hand in the relationship. If she’s manipulative and does things to ensure that she has all the power, asking for space might be one of her tactics.
Someone like this isn’t really interested in you, only in what you can give them. Se she’s playing games with you, she doesn’t take you seriously, so think honestly about her behavior so far and you’ll be able to tell if she has feelings for you or if she’s just using you.
14. She’s thinking of ending things
Maybe she’s not 100% sure that she wants to break up, but she’s considering it, so she might be taking time to think about it and see what it’s like to be on her own. Se pensar na sua relação, poderá encontrar alguns indícios de que isto está a acontecer.
As coisas têm sido difíceis? Ela está claramente infeliz? Tem-se mostrado distante mesmo antes de pedir tempo? Estes podem ser sinais de que ela quer acabar com a relação.
15. She’s thinks she’s letting you down gently
Infelizmente, por vezes, precisar de tempo é um código para acabar consigo sem o dizer. Em vez de lhe dizer que quer romper, she’s letting things fade away. The reason she’s doing it might be because she doesn’t want to hurt your feelings, or she’s being cowardly and letting time do what she should do herself.
RELACIONADO: 8 maneiras de dar espaço a alguém e mantê-lo ao seu lado
O que fazer quando uma rapariga diz que precisa de tempo para pensar?
Os seguintes conselhos sobre relações aplicam-se a qualquer situação: uma relação de longa duração, uma relação à distância ou uma nova relação. Your best bet for a positive outcome is if you show her care, honesty and respect, and don’t try to force anything.
You’ll achieve that by following these tips.
1. Dar-lhe tempo e espaço
If your girlfriend asks you to give her space, then you should give her space. If you refuse, thinking that you must keep her close, you’ll make her uncomfortable and push her away for sure. By respecting her wishes, you’re showing that you respect ela.
Peça-lhe para lhe dizer quanto tempo acha que precisa e de quanto espaço precisa, mas don’t interrogate her, make her explain why and give you any definite answers because she doesn’t have them either.
2. Don’t pressure her
Então, disse que sim e concordou em deixá-la em paz durante algum tempo. Even though you want to make things better and get her to spend time with you again, don’t try to force it. If she told you that it’s okay to contact her, you don’t have to follow the ‘no contact rule’.
You can keep in touch, but don’t call and text her all the time. Don’t be desperate e pedir-lhe que acabe com isso. Don’t try to impress her so that she’ll want to come back. If she’s not ready for a relationship, trying to make her change her mind, guilt-trip her or tell you when she’ll be done taking her time, you’re only prolonging it
3. Don’t think of it as a breakup
If this is the first time you’ve been in this situation, you might be worried that this is really a breakup or that it’s inevitable. Don’t get angry and make any rash decisions. Há alguma hipótese de ser, mas antes de decidir pensar nela como sua ex, pense se tem razões para acreditar nisso.
Aconteceu alguma coisa ou fizeste alguma coisa para que ela quisesse acabar contigo? If you can’t think of anything, then give her the benefit of the doubt. If you trust her, trust what she’s saying. If you don’t trust her, think about why that is and what you can do to change it. Use this time wisely.
4. Refletir sobre a sua relação
A menos que ela precise de tempo para tratar de assuntos pessoais, esta situação tem algo a ver com a vossa relação. Tempo e espaço não fará com que os seus problemas desapareçam por magia, mas pode dar a ambos a oportunidade de reflectirem sobre si próprios, os seus problemas e a forma como contribuíram para eles.
Deve participar na procura de soluções para os seus problemas, examinando honestamente como é a vossa relação e como podem melhorá-la. Unless you openly admit to yourself what your role in your relationship problems is in the first place, you can’t figure out what doesn’t work and how to fix it.
5. Trabalhar sobre si próprio
While she’s taking her time, you shouldn’t sit around waiting. Instead, make an effort to tornar-se uma melhor versão de si próprio. Embora possa ser impossível passar por uma transformação que mude a vida num período de tempo tão curto, é possível conseguir muito.
Tente identificar as coisas em si que quer melhorar e aprenda a aproximar-se mais daquilo que quer ser. This doesn’t have to be related to your relationship.
For example, if you want to be more confident, learn how you can do it by watching videos on a YouTube channel or reading articles and books. Doing this won’t turn you into someone perfectly confident overnight, but dar-lhe-á inspiração e as ferramentas de que necessita. Agora só precisa de fazer um esforço e continuar.
6. Passar tempo com outras pessoas
If you’re used to spending time with your girlfriend, you could get lonely if you suddenly have a lot of time for yourself. Utilize o tempo em que você e a sua namorada estão separados para se relacionar com as pessoas da sua vida.
Em vez de se afundar na autocomiseração, ligue ao seu melhor amigo e pense em algo divertido para fazer. Visitar familiares e passar tempo com amigos will help you get out of your head and stop worrying about what’s going on.
7. Don’t stalk her
It’s normal that you follow your girlfriend on social media and there’s no need for this to change, but don’t check up on her. There’s no need to ignore it when she updates, but don’t comment and like her posts. Don’t follow her around redes sociais, verificando a sua atividade e controlando com quem ela interage.
Don’t show up in places you know she’s going to be and try to make it seem like you ran into her by chance. The more you try to push her, the more she’ll withdraw. By keeping a close eye on her, you’re only giving yourself anxiety without achieving anything with her.
8. Manter-se fiel
Se abres o tinder à procura de um engate no momento em que a tua namorada te pede espaço, devias reconsiderar a tua relação com ela. Maybe this is an opportunity to change your habits and get out of the relationship if you’re not happy.
On the other hand, if you know you want to be with her, then make sure that your actions are in line with your wishes. It’s normal to be upset and miss her, but you must not let your feelings do something you might regret. Stay loyal to her in every way so that when you’re reunited, you don’t have anything to hide.
9. Ser um melhor parceiro quando ela voltar
First of all, you should be prepared to have an open conversation with her. Talk about the reasons she needed space if they’re related to you or your relationship, share what you’ve figured out and how you both plan to go on.
If her reason for taking time was personal, offer to listen if she wants to talk about it. Listen to her concerns and commit to improving your relationship. If she was feeling bad because of your actions, make sure you’re serious about not doing it again.
Tell her of any issues you might have, but don’t accuse her or get angry. If something in your relationship wasn’t working, you both have to decide to work on it.
RELACIONADO: 10 sinais de que você precisa de espaço no seu relacionamento e por que isso é uma coisa boa
Resumindo
Relationships are complicated, but never more than when you’re unsure of where you stand and what you should do. As long as you have good intentions and want to do what’s best for your relationship, you can feel real struggle thinking, “She says she needs time, how long should I wait?”
It’s understandable: you want to respect your girlfriend’s wishes, but you don’t want your relationship to fade away if you wait too long. Generally, having to wait for over a month isn’t a good sign, but even three months of space have been known to save marriages.
She might need time and space for a number of reasons, but you’re the one who can best figure out which one applies to your situation based on how your relationship so far looks like, her behavior and your own actions.
Façam o que fizerem, don’t try to force it – this will only drive her away. Instead, work on yourself so that when she comes back, you have a chance to contribute more to your relationship. Good luck!
