15 señales de que tienes una relación infeliz
¿Cuáles son las señales de una relación infeliz y qué debes hacer al respecto?
When you just start dating or when you’re just at the beginning of a new relationship, everything seems idyllic and almost perfect.
You’re naturally inclined to make an effort, you respect each other’s differences, you enjoy romantic date nights and you pay attention to details.
When you’re having a bad day, you know that your significant other will be there for you because they’re both your best friend and lover in one.
And then, over time, something changes because when you’ve been together for a long time, there are no longer barriers between you and you are who you are in front of each other.
Sin embargo, cuando te vuelves demasiado informal, corres el riesgo de conseguir atrapado en un celo.
Cuando te vuelves demasiado informal y ya no te esfuerzas en una relación romántica, entras en la zona de la falta de respeto y aprecio.
Tu relación atraviesa un bache y una relación inicialmente feliz se convierte en una relación enfermiza.
Bntervenir en una relación infeliz es como ahogarse lentamente en un pantano.
You feel like something’s pulling you down and you’re losing your breath but you’re not quite sure why you feel that way and what the real reason behind it is.
De alguna manera malinterpretas o te pierdes todos los banderas rojasPensando que pasará y que todo volverá a su cauce si le das tiempo.
Or you get convinced that it’s normal to feel this way in a relationship because, over time, long-term relationships change and lose their initial passion and attraction.
Since you don’t want to end up tener su corazón roto, you subconsciously decide to suppress any potential red flag and you decide to pretend that you’re happy in front of your friends and family.
Te niegas a reconocer el hecho de que lo que una vez fue hermoso se ha convertido en una cosa potencialmente relación tóxica.
But that’s exactly what you need to do. The first step to dealing with an unhappy relationship is accepting the fact that you’re in one, that things are not like they used to be and that you deserve to be happy.
If you’re not really sure whether your relationship has reached the zone of chronic unhappiness, here is a list of signs screaming that you’re in a deeply unhappy relationship without even being aware of it!
1. Pasas más tiempo con tus amigos y familiares que con tu pareja
El primer y más importante indicador de una relación infeliz es la cantidad de tiempo que pasas con tu pareja.
If you’ve noticed that you’re spending more time with your friends and family than with your partner, then you know something’s terribly wrong.
Piensa en los inicios de tu relación y compárala con tu situación sentimental actual.
Do you notice that before, you used to spend a great amount of time together because you really enjoyed every second of each other’s company and now you no longer do that because something changed within you?
You no longer see your partner’s company as something enjoyable but more as torment because you’re not relaxed, because you’re constantly fighting with each other or because they are no longer the same man/woman you used to know.
They are no longer that one person who can make you happy and that’s why you no longer feel drawn to them. Instead, you prefer spending time with the people close to you or on your own.
2. No hay conflictos en la relación
I know what you’re thinking; how in the world can the fact that there are no conflictos en una relación interpretarse como algo negativo?
Isn’t the whole point of a happy relationship to be conflictless and blissful, without any arguments?
Well, I’m sorry to tell you but it’s not. Every healthy relationship consists of conflicts and arguments to a certain extent.
Aunque las discusiones constantes no son sanas, no discutir tampoco lo es en una relación.
So, if you’ve noticed that you no longer fight over things, it’s a huge red flag that you’re unhappy with the relationship you’re in. Why?
Because by having arguments with your partner, you’re telling them that you’re not okay with something and you’re trying to find a solution for it with mutual efforts because you care.
However, by avoiding any types of arguments, you’re subtly telling each other that you don’t give a shit about what’s happening in the relationship and you don’t care about dealing with it.
This happens when you’re no longer attached to each other and you feel like there’s no point in fighting because you don’t really care about the outcome and all you want is peace, even at the cost of creating a passively-aggressive environment.
3. Las citas nocturnas ya no existen
Many dating coaches, relationship experts and psychotherapists accentuate the importance of maintaining date nights when you’re in a relationship (regardless of how long you’ve been in one).
Y muchas veces, justo después de que las cosas se vuelvan casuales, las parejas simplemente se olvidan de alimentar las noches de cita y de seguir esforzándose por sorprenderse mutuamente.
Or they don’t forget, but they just stop caring about it because they have more important things to do and focus on.
So, if you can’t remember when the last time was that you two had a date night, you can be sure that things are not as they should be.
Las noches de cita existen por una razón.
Os ayudan a reconectar, aumentan vuestra pasión e intimidad y os hacen sentir especiales (sobre todo si uno de los dos es el que lleva al otro por sorpresa a una cita nocturna).
Cuando todo esto desaparece en una relación, pierdes la oportunidad de convertirte en uno con tu pareja y de impulsar vuestra relación disfrutando del tiempo que pasáis juntos. La relación se vuelve insensible y sin vida.
4. You’re constantly criticizing each other
When you just start dating, your tolerance for your partner’s habits and behavior is at a high level but over time, this changes.
When you’ve been together for some time, you become more and more aware of the things that annoy you, and if you can’t help but constantly criticize each other for it, then you know you’re in an unhappy relationship.
It’s one thing to tell your partner that something is bothering you about them from time to time, but constantly being on the lookout for every single inconvenience and bad habit is a sign that the root of the problem is much more important than you thought.
It’s a sign that you’re no longer happy with your partner and that’s why you get so easily irritated by everything they do.
You no longer see them as you used to and you’re subconsciously looking for ways to express your dissatisfaction with the current situation.
By constantly criticizing your partner, you’re basically telling them you don’t approve of them and that no matter what they do, how they behave or what they say to you, you’ll never see them as good enough for you.
You’ll never see them as good enough for you because you lost attraction, appreciation and respect for each other.
5. Falta de intimidad
Falta de intimidad es definitivamente uno de los signos número uno de toda relación infeliz.
Tener intimidad significa conectar con el otro, crear confianza y fortalecer tu relación, así que si de repente notas una falta de intimidad, hay una razón válida detrás de ello.
If you’re constantly making excuses, like the one where you have a constant headache (if you’re a female) and other excuses if you’re male, to justify why you don’t want to get intimate with your partner, you know that you have a serious problem in the relationship.
Si ni siquiera menciona la intimidad o muestra algún signo de desearla, entonces sabrá que su relación se ha cerrado y ha cambiado su título por el de relación infeliz.
Las razones por las que esto ocurre son la falta de atracción o de respeto mutuo, el comportamiento pasivo-agresivo, el comportamiento controlador, etc.
Basically, whatever is happening in your relationship on a daily basis reflects on the situation between the sheets and that’s how you know whether you’ve reached a dead-end street or if there’s still hope for you agree to make mutual efforts to make things right again.
Véase también: 10 cosas que las parejas deberían probar al menos una vez para aumentar su intimidad
6. Falta de gratitud
Gratitude is one of the most powerful forces in the universe because when you’re being grateful, you attract more positive things into your life.
If you’re showing you’re grateful for everything your partner does for you and vice versa, you’re motivating each other to continue doing so.
However, if there’s a lack of gratitude in the relationship, there is also a lack of happiness.
Cuando dejas de apreciar las grandes cosas o las pequeñas cosas que haces por el otro, dejas de apreciarte como ser humano o como alguien de quien una vez te enamoraste.
Donde no hay gratitud, no hay esfuerzo, porque el esfuerzo nace de la voluntad de apreciar, de darse cuenta y de abrazar.
And where there is no effort, there is no harmony in the relationship because a relationship can’t survive without effort.
Todo esto crea una enorme brecha entre dos personas y puede llegar a destruir definitivamente una relación.
7. You’re sentirse solo en la relación
A relationship should be a community of two people being in love with each other, and if you’re feeling lonely in the relationship, it means that you’re in an unhappy relationship.
It’s completely normal to feel lonely when there’s a lack of important elements like reciprocity, respect and mutual effort, which create a happy relationship.
That’s the main reason why you all of a sudden feel isolated. You feel lonely because you have no one to listen to you, you don’t feel secure and you feel like your partner doesn’t understand you at all.
Y cuando eso ocurre, te retraes y entras en un laberinto de cavilaciones y ensoñaciones sobre algún lugar más agradable, como con otra persona que será exactamente lo contrario de tu pareja.
Por eso, a menudo te encuentras conectando con desconocidos muy rápidamente sólo porque te escuchan, te hacen un cumplido, te hacen sentir segura y están ahí para ti.
When you start comparing your relationship with strangers who are just being polite to you, you know that you’ve been unhappy for a long time now.
8. You’re giving each other the silent treatment
The silent treatment is the silent killer of every relationship and it’s one of the biggest indicators of every unhappy relationship.
Giving the silent treatment means ignoring another person’s wishes, desires and thoughts.
La diferencia entre una pareja que mantiene una relación feliz y otra infeliz es visible en la forma en que afrontan sus discusiones.
Una pareja en una relación feliz nunca se da la callada por respuesta, sino que se esfuerza por hacer que las cosas funcionen y encontrar una solución mutua a un problema.
A couple in an unhappy relationship don’t really care about finding mutual solutions and choose to give each other the silent treatment instead.
Ignoring them means indirectly killing your relationship or what’s left of it. Ignoring them means building a wall between you and your partner and being unwilling to build it again or to reconstruct it.
Y cuando construyes un muro, construyes infelicidad con todas las palabras no dichas que zumban en tu cabeza.
9. You’re living separate lives
Aunque pasar demasiado tiempo juntos y hacer todo juntos no es realmente saludable, vivir vidas separadas tampoco lo es en una relación.
You know that you’re living separate lives if you have no idea what’s really going on in your partner’s life (their job, family, friends or hobbies) and if you also don’t bother sharing what’s happening in your life either.
Vivir vidas separadas significa estar en una relación como extraños en la que no hay un punto común en el que vuestras vidas se crucen.
It’s when you don’t bother hanging out with your mutual friends, when you don’t bother telling your partner about that important event at your job and when you no longer seek comfort or understanding from each other.
The less you know about each other’s lives, the less you’re connected. And the less you’re connected, the less happy you are in the relationship.
10. There’s no conversación significativa
You know that you’re in an unhappy relationship if you can’t remember the last time you had a meaningful conversation with your partner.
Hablar de tus sentimientos, del sentido de la vida o de otros temas poco convencionales es otra forma de crear un vínculo más fuerte con tu pareja.
On the contrary, constantly pushing only small talk is a real destroyer of every relationship because by doing that, you’re not making an effort to say something more meaningful, something that will bring back the spark to your eyes and make you feel enriched.
Y como ya se ha dicho, no hacer un esfuerzo equivale a estar en una relación infeliz.
11. Instead of apologizing, you’re playing the blame game
There’s no perfect relationship. Making mistakes and arguing from time to time in a relationship is totally normal and the difference is in the way you deal with it.
If you and your partner always make sure to apologize after you’ve done something wrong or when you think that you’re the one who is not right, it means you’re taking responsibility for your thoughts, words and actions.
But if instead of apologizing, you play the blame game, where you have the need to accuse each other and blame the other for everything bad that happens in your relationship, you know that you’re in a toxic relationship.
Buscar constantemente un culpable para todo lo malo que ocurre en lugar de afrontar la situación es perjudicial para toda relación.
Most of the time, this has nothing to do with blaming someone for something but with expressing your dissatisfaction with the relationship because you’re no longer happy and content.
12. You’re fighting over trivial things
When something serious happens, it’s normal for you or your partner to react in an argumentative manner but if you’re constantly fighting over trivial things, it means that you’re annoyed by each other to the extent of constantly being on the lookout for the other person’s next mistake.
Pelear por cosas triviales significa pelear sin ninguna razón real, excepto la necesidad de expresar tu descontento con la situación general de la relación y de tu pareja.
If you notice that you’re all of a sudden appalled by everything your partner does or vice versa, then you know you’re in an unhappy relationship and you should definitely do something about it.
Véase también: 7 discusiones que señalan el principio del fin
13. 13. Falta de respeto
Como probablemente ya sepas, el respeto es la base de toda relación feliz. Respetar a tu pareja significa respetar sus decisiones, su personalidad, sus pensamientos y todas las diferencias que existen entre vosotros.
Respetar también significa comprometerse y estar dispuesto a comprender las situaciones.
Cuando una relación carece de respeto, carece de los cimientos necesarios para establecer una relación sana.
La falta de respeto significa infravalorarse mutuamente, criticarse, no importarle lo que siente la otra persona, etc.
It’s when you no longer try to make each other feel special and instead, you only focus on yourself and your own needs and wishes.
14. Ya no muestras afecto
El afecto en una relación es como el agua para las flores.
Para que una relación prospere, ambos miembros de la pareja tienen que seguir esforzándose a la hora de sorprenderse, hacerse sentir especial, piropearse y mostrarse afecto de muchas otras maneras.
A simple hug every day means a lot for both your partner’s well-being and your relationship.
If you can’t remember the last time you and your partner expressed affection toward each other (be it verbally or physically) then you know you’re stuck in an unhappy relationship.
15. You’re daydreaming about being single again
And last but not least, when you’ve been stuck in an unhappy relationship for some time, you start daydreaming about being single again but for some reason, you can’t find the courage to do something about it.
And that’s why you enter the world of daydreaming about being single again.
When you’re contemplating and imagining that you’re solo again, that you’re dating someone else or finding someone through online dating, you feel liberated and you feel happy even for a moment because you know that you’re no longer happy in the current relationship and you’re subconsciously looking for a way out of it.
Véase también: Here’s To Being Single And The Magic Of New Beginnings
If you just realized that you’re in an unhappy relationship…
If all of the above signs or the majority of them are indicating that you’re in an unhappy relationship, there are two things you can do about it: You can move on or fight for it if you believe that there’s still hope.
Pero recuerda que la lucha y el esfuerzo deben ser mutuos.
If you still love your partner and you feel like you belong together, it’s a valid reason to fight for what you have or, better said, for what’s left of your relationship.
But if you want to fight for your relationship just because you’re afraid of being alone, you need to know that this isn’t a good reason to stay, not for you or your partner.
Lo más sensato es tomarse primero un tiempo para reflexionar sobre toda la situación antes de tomar decisiones irracionales, hablarlo con tu pareja y armarte de paciencia, decidas lo que decidas hacer. Mucha suerte.
Véase también: 14 cosas que hacer cuando no eres feliz en tu relación
