Una mujer le dice a su marido que está demasiado arruinado para ser misógino después de que él dijera que quiere una esposa tradicional

Algunas personas siguen queriendo roles de género tradicionales en sus hogares, y eso está completamente bien. El momento en que se convierte en un problema es cuando esa narrativa se impone a alguien que no quiere vivir así.

Algunas mujeres prefieren trabajar y a otras les gusta ser amas de casa. This is largely affected by the way we were raised and how our family dynamic looks, but still everyone’s different. 

That’s why it’s important to discuss this with our partner and make sure our ideas of family roles completely align. Because it wouldn’t be quite fair to expect a woman to be a homemaker when you’re not a breadwinner, right?

Pero, ¿qué ocurre cuando un hombre criado en una familia tradicional se casa con una mujer que adopta los roles de género modernos?

Encontraron un terreno común que funciona para ambos

Una mujer publicó su historia en Reddit y explicó cómo se casó con un hombre de origen tradicional aunque su familia es completamente diferente. Ella escribió:

“My husband worked hard to unlearn the values he saw replicated at home. He (often more than) pulled his weight at home, was an engaged and present father and a genuine partner.”

She explains how they had a nanny when the kids were small and a housekeeper who would take care of their home. When the housekeeper isn’t available cada uno se ocupa de su desorden y nadie tiene problemas con ello.

However, since her husband lost his job and savings they weren’t able to afford the help they usually had so se repartían la carga de trabajo a partes iguales. Todos los días ella se encarga del desayuno y él prepara la cena. Esto funcionó perfectamente hasta que su familia vino de visita.

Una visita de los suegros lo cambió todo

Her in-laws never liked the fact their son doesn’t have a traditional family and they made sure to make that clear multiple times. However, they crossed the boundary when they recently visited and started a discussion.

The woman came home from work tired and wanted to set up everything for dinner just to find out her husband didn’t prepare anything. When she asked him about it se sentó tranquilamente mientras su madre decía que cocinar es algo que ella debería hacer.

Oh, esto me cabrearía, ella lo manejó mejor de lo que yo lo haría simplemente marchándose y pidiendo comida para llevar para todos. Cuando se sentaron a comer, su suegra empezó a despotricar:

“My MIL was still going on about what was wrong with me and why I was a failure. I asked my husband if he had anything to say. He said his mother had a point and it wouldn’t hurt if I acted ‘more like a proper woman’ and ‘took better care of my home and children’. He said tradition was tradition for a reason and it was kind of insulting that I thought I was too good for how he was raised.”

Imagine you hear that and your husband doesn’t do anything about it! Aunque se suponía que debía defender a su esposa, sólo echó más leña al fuego. ¡Parece que su madre le ha lavado completamente el cerebro!

Esto molestó a su mujer por una buena razón, así que se fue completamente:

“This is where I might be the a**hole. I told him tradition won’t allow a man on 35k to support a family of 5 and he was too broke to be so sexist. He looked hurt and I saw tears welling in his eyes. He excused himself from the table. I regret saying this in front of our children, but him saying that to me after I’m busting my a** to clean up his mess on top of having to deal with his parents was too much for me.”

Quiero decir, ella tiene razón. Su marido nunca pareció tener problemas con vivir como vivían, pero... en cuanto vino su madre cambió de opinión. Hmm, I wonder why… 

Does it really make sense to expect a woman to be a housewife when you can’t afford to live off a single income?

Traditional families can’t have a wife as the main breadwinner

Reddit users were clearly on the woman’s side supporting what she said to her husband even though it might have sounded harsh. Someone wrote.

“Frankly, he needed to hear it! How can he think you should be MORE OR BETTER with all that you’re already doing? Does he think it’s really a valid option for you to just drop your work and career to be a homemaker, and how does he think that’s gonna go for your family?”

Defenderse es muy importante. Nadie quiere hacer daño a su pareja, pero cuando cruza la línea, debe saber cuál es su lugar.

Too many times we choose to stay silent to please others but that doesn’t solve the problem. If anything, we only create opportunities for more disrespect by letting everything slide. 

Se arrepiente de haber dicho eso delante de sus hijos pero creo que sus palabras eran mucho peores. Saying that his income alone can’t support their family isn’t an insult, it’s a reality!

Also, isn’t teaching children that a woman should only be a housewife creating narrow-minded opinions they’ll think are completely fine? As one user wrote:

“So it was fine for him to humiliate you in front of your children? Do you have a daughter that just saw how he allowed his mother to put you down and devalue your contribution? Tonight might have undone all of the hard work that you guys have put into teaching your kids that each partner has equal value.”

Vivir en ese tipo de entorno puede ser duro para todas las partes, incluidos los niños. Having different opinions and values doesn’t have to be a problem if there’s mutual respect and understanding. 

In-laws are sometimes too nosy and want to be a part of discussions that don’t have anything to do with them. So, set your boundaries straight, and don’t let anyone put their fingers in your marriage!