Carta de una chica fuerte a su padre de mierda

Hola a ti,

This time, I won’t call you Dad. I won’t call you Father either.

Not because I don’t want to but because you don’t deserve it. You don’t deserve that a girl who looked up to you and admired you got her heart broken by you.

I won’t even try to tell you what your mistakes were but I will just let all this pain out of me. The pain that was inside of me for a long time needs to come out.

Because if it doesn’t come out, I swear I will explode.

Necesito deshacerme de esta pena que he estado guardando durante tantos años, esperando que las cosas cambiaran. Necesito comprender por fin que nunca fuiste el padre que yo merecía.

You shouldn’t be called that because a father figure is so important to his child’s life but you weren’t there for me in any situation.

You only got rid of me when I needed you the most. You gave up on me because fixing me and helping me was too long a process and you didn’t want to waste your time on me.

While I am writing these lines, I can’t believe that a father could think that he would be wasting his time if he helped his daughter. But that is what I got from you. I never felt loved by you.

Nunca pude ver la felicidad en tus ojos cuando estabas conmigo.

Cada conversación que teníamos era muy incómoda para los dos.

It was bad for you because you didn’t want to spend time with me and for me, it was bad because I saw in your eyes that you didn’t want me too close and all I wanted was to see you walking through the door.

I learned to live on my own while I was still pretty young and deep down I knew that things wouldn’t change for the better.

I would be lying if I said that I didn’t hope that you would become the father of my dreams but frankly speaking, those dreams only helped me to get through some days.

You know, for so long, I blamed myself for the lack of your love. I thought that I was a girl who didn’t accomplish anything and that you were ashamed of me.

I thought that all the things I did weren’t good enough for you and that I needed to work harder. For so long, I thought I was the guilty one.

¿Y sabes qué fue lo peor?

You watched me break down so many times and you didn’t even try to comfort me. You didn’t even try to tell me a white lie that would make me feel better.

You weren’t man enough to hold your hands up to the things you did. You hid like a coward behind your mistakes, thinking they were your biggest accomplishments.

Has fracasado estrepitosamente en tu papel más importante, la de un padre . And that is something you can’t change now.

When I realized that I didn’t have a dad I could count on, I learned to stand up for myself.

Y mientras todas las demás chicas hablaban con orgullo de sus padres, yo me callaba mientras las lágrimas corrían por mis mejillas. Estaba tan enfadada contigo por no haber estado ahí para mí.

And that hasn’t changed. I still think you are a piece of a shit who couldn’t be there for the only person who truly needed you.

I still think that you don’t deserve anyone to call you Dad or to act nicely toward you.

I think that you got this role by accident and that it simply doesn’t belong to you. Because only a coward leaves his daughter unprotected.

Sólo un cobarde abandona a su propia sangre. Sólo un cobarde destruye la vida de inocentes para sentirse mejor.

And that is what you did to me. Because of you, I learned that I shouldn’t bring guys into my life so easily.

Because of the horror I went through with you, I learned that a guy won’t make me feel better and only I can do it for myself.

I learned that I can’t trust strangers and that I shouldn’t give chances so easily.

Aprendí a cuidar de mí misma sin la ayuda de la gente que me rodeaba. Aprendí a ser independiente y fuerte y a no renunciar nunca a mis sueños.

De niña pequeña y asustadiza, me transformé en una bestia que escondía sus emociones debajo de la alfombra.

Because of you, I built walls around me so high that even the bravest people couldn’t reach me. And in trying to shut down my emotions to prevent people from hurting me, I lost all of them.

Me convertí en una persona sin emociones, incapaz de sonreír ante todas las pequeñas cosas que antes me hacían reír tanto.

A través de esta vida contigo Aprendí que sólo puedo contar conmigo misma y que nadie resolverá mis problemas y sólo yo puedo hacerlo por mí misma.

Por desgracia, aprendí a defenderme porque nunca tuve un padre que lo hiciera en mi lugar.

Y debido a todo lo malo que pasé en mi vida sin una figura paterna, me hice muy fuerte.

I transformed into a woman who isn’t afraid of anything and who will chase her dreams no matter how long it will take.

Por la falta de amor de tu parte, Por fin me pongo en primer lugar dándome todo lo que merecía de ti. Pero de esa manera, obtuve lo que merecía toda mi vida.

Now, after so much time spent thinking about you and about our lives, I don’t feel bad anymore.

Sé que intenté que las cosas funcionaran, pero también sé que me abandonaste como si no fuera nada.

Y gracias a eso, ahora soy más fuerte.

Así que, si alguna vez lees esta carta, si alguna vez encuentras tiempo para abrirla y leer lo que estuvo en mi corazón durante tanto tiempo, quiero que prestes atención a lo que estoy diciendo ahora:

Aunque fueras un padre de mierda para mí, conseguí transformarme en una persona de la que todos los padres estarían orgullosos.

Y eso no es gracias a ti, sino gracias a mí y a mi fuerte voluntad de éxito. Al perderte y ver cómo me abandonabas, sin mirar atrás siquiera, me juré a mí mismo que triunfaría y que nunca más volvería a pedirte ayuda.

Al perderte, encontré por fin la pieza que me faltaba para ser feliz. ¡Me encontré a mí mismo!