Una carta al hombre que me hizo sentir que era imposible amar

You left me with only one sentence that is still etched deep in my mind: “You are so hard to love.” Really, after everything that happened, you had the guts to tell me that I’m the unlovable one?

Di demasiado y nunca pedí ni recibí nada a cambio. That’s why it was a hell of a thing for you to make me feel like I’m the unlovable one. But I have to admit… You almost succeeded in convincing me.

Casi. Una palabra tan importante para mí. Usted casi made me feel like I’m too hard to love. You casi rompió mi fe en el amor verdadero.

Usted casi me hizo dudar de mi valía. Usted casi lograste hacer todo eso, pero al final fracasaste porque yo era mucho más fuerte de lo que pensabas.

I know I never asked for much. I was never interested in material things or precious gifts. I never asked you to spend time with me 24/7. I wasn’t too needy, and I never tried to change you.

Te acepté tal como eres. Te acepté toda, todos tus lados buenos, tanto como los malos. Acepté todos tus defectos. Por desgracia, me enamoré completamente de ti y de todas tus imperfecciones.

No, I’m not trying to make myself out as a saint. I have flaws, and I also made mistakes. However, I was willing, and I was trying hard to change and be a better person for you… For us.

Sólo quería que me quisieras de la misma manera que yo te quise a ti

Sólo quería el tipo de amor con el que siempre soñé. Ya sabes, el impresionante, incondicionalun tipo de amor hermoso, único en la vida.

And no, don’t tell me that I asked for too much because I loved you that way. The only problem is that I wanted it from the wrong person. Buscaba el amor correcto con la persona equivocada.

Nada de lo que hice fue suficiente para ti

Me esforcé mucho por demostrarte que te quería de verdad. Pensé que era culpa mía que fueras tan fría y distante conmigo.

Usted nunca me apreció, neither as a person nor as a girlfriend. You were aware that as much as you ignored my efforts, I’d continue to try to be a better girlfriend to you.

Mi error fue idealizarte

In my eyes, you were a perfect man. I would say that’s my biggest mistake. Pensando en ti como un tipo perfecto y poniéndote en un pedestal cuando estabas tan lejos de ser perfecto.

My other mistake was letting you inside my heart and, even worse, in my head. I allowed you to make me doubt myself, to decrease my value, and make me feel like I’m not worthy of being loved.

Al final, siento que debo darte las gracias después de todo.

Yes, you did leave me with many insecurities. I was convinced that I was unworthy of love. You said that love isn’t meant for everyone, and I was trying to come to terms with that.

I thought that God had forgotten me when it comes to love…

Pero, ¿sabes qué? Todas esas inseguridades hicieron de mí la mujer que soy hoy: una mujer segura de sí misma, valiente, independiente y mujer fuerte.

I’m a woman who knows what she wants from life and who won’t allow anyone to take the wheel of her life because only she should steer it.

Además, lo siento por ti

You tried to make me feel that I was the one who is hard to love when actually, you’re the one who is impossible to love.

Encerraste tu corazón y construiste un enorme muro, una fortaleza a su alrededor para que nadie pudiera acercarse a él.

Maybe, you did it out of fear because you don’t want anyone to hurt you and break your heart.

But, I think that the real reason you did it is that you’re weak.

You’re a coward who cannot confront his own feelings and thinks that it’s better to run away from things than to accept the risk those things bring with them.

That’s why I can’t be angry at you or hate you anymore. I honestly feel sorry for you, a weak man who’ll forever be alone, sad, and lonely.

I’m still alone, but I’ll never be lonely. You see, you didn’t manage to convince me I’m unlovable after all.

Hay tanta gente en mi vida que me quiere por lo que soy, que ama todas mis imperfecciones y mis defectos, y que me quiere por todas las razones correctas.

That’s why even though I’m alone, I’ll never be lonely.

Today I’m the happiest woman alive because I finally got closure with this letter and realized something very important: I’m worthy of the purest and most beautiful kind of love and belonging.