Una lettera all'uomo che mi ha fatto sentire impossibile da amare

You left me with only one sentence that is still etched deep in my mind: “You are so hard to love.” Really, after everything that happened, you had the guts to tell me that I’m the unlovable one?

Ho dato troppo e non ho mai chiesto né ricevuto nulla in cambio. That’s why it was a hell of a thing for you to make me feel like I’m the unlovable one. But I have to admit… You almost succeeded in convincing me.

Quasi. Una parola così importante per me. Tu quasi made me feel like I’m too hard to love. You quasi ha spezzato la mia fede nel vero amore.

Tu quasi mi ha fatto dubitare del mio valore. Tu quasi Sei riuscito a fare tutto questo, ma alla fine hai fallito perché ero molto più forte di quanto pensassi.

I know I never asked for much. I was never interested in material things or precious gifts. I never asked you to spend time with me 24/7. I wasn’t too needy, and I never tried to change you.

Ti ho accettato così come sei. Ho accettato tutto di te, tutti i tuoi lati positivi, così come quelli negativi. Ho accolto tutti i tuoi difetti. Purtroppo mi sono innamorato completamente di te e di tutte le tue imperfezioni.

No, I’m not trying to make myself out as a saint. I have flaws, and I also made mistakes. However, I was willing, and I was trying hard to change and be a better person for you… For us.

Volevo solo che mi amassi nello stesso modo in cui io ho amato te

Volevo solo il tipo di amore che ho sempre sognato. Sai, quello mozzafiato, incondizionatoun amore bellissimo, di quelli che capitano una volta nella vita.

And no, don’t tell me that I asked for too much because I loved you that way. The only problem is that I wanted it from the wrong person. Cercavo l'amore giusto con la persona sbagliata.

Niente di ciò che ho fatto è stato abbastanza per te

Ho provato e riprovato con tutte le mie forze a dimostrarti che ti amavo davvero. Pensavo che fosse colpa mia, in qualche modo, se eri così freddo e distante nei miei confronti.

Tu non mi ha mai apprezzato, neither as a person nor as a girlfriend. You were aware that as much as you ignored my efforts, I’d continue to try to be a better girlfriend to you.

Il mio errore è stato quello di idealizzarti

In my eyes, you were a perfect man. I would say that’s my biggest mistake. Pensare a te come a un ragazzo perfetto e metterti su un piedistallo quando eri così lontano dall'essere perfetto.

My other mistake was letting you inside my heart and, even worse, in my head. I allowed you to make me doubt myself, to decrease my value, and make me feel like I’m not worthy of being loved.

Alla fine, sento di dovervi ringraziare, dopotutto

Yes, you did leave me with many insecurities. I was convinced that I was unworthy of love. You said that love isn’t meant for everyone, and I was trying to come to terms with that.

I thought that God had forgotten me when it comes to love…

Ma, sapete una cosa? Tutte quelle insicurezze mi hanno reso la donna che sono oggi: una donna sicura di sé, coraggiosa, indipendente e donna forte.

I’m a woman who knows what she wants from life and who won’t allow anyone to take the wheel of her life because only she should steer it.

Inoltre, mi dispiace per te

You tried to make me feel that I was the one who is hard to love when actually, you’re the one who is impossible to love.

Hai rinchiuso il tuo cuore e hai costruito un enorme muro, una fortezza intorno ad esso, in modo che nessuno potesse mai avvicinarsi ad esso.

Maybe, you did it out of fear because you don’t want anyone to hurt you and break your heart.

But, I think that the real reason you did it is that you’re weak.

You’re a coward who cannot confront his own feelings and thinks that it’s better to run away from things than to accept the risk those things bring with them.

That’s why I can’t be angry at you or hate you anymore. I honestly feel sorry for you, a weak man who’ll forever be alone, sad, and lonely.

I’m still alone, but I’ll never be lonely. You see, you didn’t manage to convince me I’m unlovable after all.

Ci sono così tante persone nella mia vita che mi amano per quello che sono, che amano tutte le mie imperfezioni e i miei difetti e che mi amano per tutte le ragioni giuste.

That’s why even though I’m alone, I’ll never be lonely.

Today I’m the happiest woman alive because I finally got closure with this letter and realized something very important: I’m worthy of the purest and most beautiful kind of love and belonging.