La guía definitiva para establecer límites sanos en las relaciones de pareja

En límites sanos y fuertes en las relaciones es esencial para que funcione cualquier tipo de relación. Hay que trazar la línea en algún lugar y definir las cosas que están más allá del compromiso.

Por mucho que quieras a tu pareja, hay cosas en las que nunca debes transigir.

Esas cosas se llaman tus límites personales y, sinceramente, son una parte muy importante de toda relación sana.

The most important thing is that both sides have to respect each other’s boundaries.

That’s how you’ll break down the walls between you and feel comfortable in your relationship, strengthening the bond between you two.

Being in a romantic relationship isn’t always sunshine and daisies. And setting clear boundaries in an intimate relationship can be a very challenging and difficult part of it.

Still, it’s also an inevitable part if you really want to make that relationship work long-term.

Por desgracia, la mayoría de la gente tiene miedo de poner límites porque piensa que puede crear más problemas que beneficios en su relación.

Por el contrario, unos límites deficientes o la falta total de límites dañarán y arruinarán lentamente tu relación, aunque creas que el vínculo entre tu pareja y tú es fuerte e irrompible.

La importancia de establecer límites sanos en las relaciones

¿Por qué son importantes los límites en las relaciones? ¿Puede durar una relación sin establecer límites claros?

Can a lack of boundaries ruin your relationship completely? What if you’re afraid to talk to your partner about it?

En primer lugar, tengo que decir que si conocieras la importancia y los beneficios de los límites para una relación, empezarías inmediatamente a trabajar en ello.

Healthy personal boundaries are important, and you should set them for your well-being. It’s how you show others how you would like to be treated.

You have to define your limits, the things you don’t want to tolerate from anyone. People will respect you more that way, and you’ll never allow anyone to treat you worse than you deserve.

Así que, antes de empezar a trabajar en el establecimiento de límites fuertes y claros en una relación, debes pensar en los límites en tu propia vida.

Deberías establecer algunas normas en tu propia vida, sobre cómo quieres que te traten los demás, y luego adaptarlas a tu relación.

Having boundaries in a relationship means you’re listening, respecting, and caring for your partner. Definen tu identidad, quién eres en la relación.

Establecer límites sanos y firmes evitará que te pierdas a ti mismo en una relación y te hará más fuerte y seguro en caso de que tu pareja intente controlarte a ti o a tu vida.

A veces, el amor que sentimos por nuestra pareja nos ciega por completo y nos entregamos por entero a esa otra persona.

It’s so wrong, and it leads to that toxic, codependent behavior and losing your identity in a relationship. Establishing boundaries is key to ensuring that both partners feel respected, loved, and supported.

Por otro lado, la falta de límites abre la puerta a desacuerdos, malos tratos y codependiente comportamiento en una relación.

8 tipos de límites en las relaciones

Por lo tanto, si desea relación sana, setting boundaries is an inevitable part. Trust me, it’s not so difficult, and it definitely won’t damage your relationship.

La falta de límites en una relación afecta a ambos miembros de la pareja. Daña su salud mental y también repercute negativamente en su autoestima.

Además, la falta de límites claros puede hacer que tu relación codependiente. That’s unhealthy, and it’ll harm your relationship to the point you won’t even be able to fix it anymore.

We’re all different human beings, which makes the relationships we form with other people different too.

We all have different limits and things we don’t want to compromise on, which means we also have different kinds of boundaries when we’re in a relationship.

Sin embargo, hay algunos tipos de límites que son cruciales para toda relación sana y fuerte.

Límites emocionales

We’ll start with the most important boundaries for all romantic relationships, emotional boundaries, of course.

When establishing emotional boundaries, it’s important to pay attention to your own feelings, not just your partner’s.

Habla de tus sentimientos y pregunta a tu pareja por los suyos. Don’t go guessing how they feel because that’s exactly where most couples make mistakes.

Check in with your partner regularly. Facing issues and problems isn’t the only time you should communicate openly with them.

You must share your feelings daily to always be in touch with your partner’s and your own feelings.

If you feel that something is wrong in your relationship, talk to your partner about it. Also, if you feel like your partner isn’t hearing you or doesn’t understand you, you should communicate it.

Don’t keep your feelings bottled up just because you think some of those negative emotions may harm your relationship.

Eso sólo creará un problema mayor porque esas emociones embotelladas explotarán un día, seguro.

No hay nada malo en dejar entrar a la gente, sobre todo a quienes quieres. Y establecer límites emocionales en tu relación evitará sin duda que traicionen tu confianza y te hagan daño.

Límites físicos

No matter how much you love your partner and enjoy spending time with them, you also need to have your personal space, and you’re allowed to enjoy time on your own sometimes.

That’s why physical boundaries are also important in a relationship.

Don’t be afraid to tell your partner if you need some time alone or when you aren’t comfortable with some of their actions.

Callar tus necesidades personales causará problemas innecesarios en tu relación. Hablar de ello y presentar a tu pareja tus necesidades es lo mejor.

For example, if you aren’t okay with holding hands in public or any other public display of affection, your partner needs to know.

By setting clear physical relationship boundaries, both of you will feel more comfortable in the relationship, and it’ll also strengthen the trust between you.

Límites de relación con familiares, amigos y compañeros de trabajo

También debes establecer límites claros cuando se trate de otras relaciones que tengáis en vuestras vidas.

Debe haber límites sanos en la relación con los miembros de su familia, sus amistades y sus compañeros de trabajo.

Your families take up significant parts of your lives, and in a way, they’re also a part of your relationship too. Still, that doesn’t give them the right to interfere in your relationship.

Don’t allow your partner to talk ill of the people you care deeply for in your life or vice versa. Just like you should respect your partner’s family and friends, they should also respect yours.

That’s an important part of every healthy relationship.

And, if you aren’t okay with your partner hanging out too much with your family, co-workers, or friends, you should be direct and tell them.

Límites temporales

Otro tipo de límite importante en una relación es cómo pasáis el tiempo juntos.

Recuerda esto: incluso cuando estés más ocupado, con la agenda más apretada, siempre debes intentar sacar tiempo para tu pareja si te necesita.

You should spend quality time together whenever you can. It’s not important whether it’s a little getaway from the city and all of its noise or to simply watch a movie together, snuggled up in front of the fireplace.

Even if you’re apart for some reason, you should at least make a phone call at the end of the day and check in with your partner to see how their day was and how they are feeling.

Do something new together. Travel together. Find a hobby you’ll both like and do that together. Learn something new together, a language or a craft maybe.

I’m not saying that you should spend every second of your free time together, but it’s important to spend quality time together to stay connected with each other.

También es muy importante establecer límites firmes en cuanto a su tiempo si nota que su pareja se está volviendo demasiado necesitada. Su aferramiento definitivamente dañará y eventualmente arruinará tu relación.

Límites de la intimidad

Este tipo de límite en las relaciones incluye pntimidad físicacosas con las que se siente cómodo o no en relación con su vida amorosa íntima.

Límites saludables de intimidad mean being able to talk to your partner about everything that’s happening behind your closed bedroom door.

It means that you feel able to open up to them about everything regarding intimacy. It means that you’re trying to understand their needs and desires and want them to do the same for you.

Mejorará la conexión emocional entre vosotros y mejorará enormemente vuestra vida amorosa.

If you have a fear of intimacy, you shouldn’t be afraid to speak about it with your partner. Explain it to them and ask them to wait and to help you overcome it. I’m sure they will understand and help you fight it.

Límites intelectuales

Don’t think that just because you’re dating someone, you should accept their opinions and have the same opinion and perspective on life. No, that’s not right.

You’re allowed to have a different way of thinking and perspective on life because you’re different people. The important thing is how you deal with it.

Deben aceptar sus diferencias y verlas como una oportunidad para aprender algo nuevo el uno del otro.

Establecer límites intelectuales os permitirá a ambos tener opiniones diferentes sobre ciertas cosas. Créeme. Esas diferencias pueden acercaros si aprendéis a manejarlas correctamente.

Having clear intellectual boundaries will help both partners grow in a relationship. It’s also a sign that you respect and apoyarse mutuamente‘s different ideas, views, and ways of thinking.

If you don’t feel free to share your opinions with your partner, you’re likely dealing with intellectual boundary violations.

It’s probably because your partner has made you think that you’re wrong or that your way of thinking is completely wrong. It can also lead you to have low autoestima.

Límites con respecto a sus vidas pasadas

If it seems to you like your partner will never forget your past and stop asking questions about it, it’s high time to set some strong boundaries on that topic.

Your ex, your past relationships, your mistakes from the past… That’s all in the past now, and you shouldn’t suffer because of it in your new relationship.

Don’t allow your partner to punish you for the past mistakes you’ve repented for and haven’t repeated ever again.

You probably needed a lot of time to forget some of your painful past experiences and won’t allow anyone to pick at your old wounds.

Establecer límites there, and don’t let your partner rummage through your past too much.

Límites de las redes sociales

En el mundo moderno de las citas, este tipo de límites en las relaciones se han vuelto muy importantes para mantener una relación sana.

Por mucho que las redes sociales sean buenas para nosotros, ya que nos permiten ver y escuchar a nuestros seres queridos siempre que queramos, también tienen algunos lados no tan buenos.

It can damage the trust between couples and make them doubt each other’s fidelity.

I’m not saying you should set unhealthy boundaries, such as giving your partner the passwords to all of your social media accounts.

On the contrary, that would only show that you don’t trust each other at all.

However, your partner should have the right to see your phone whenever they want, assuming you don’t have anything to hide from them.

Otro buen límite que deberías establecer en tu relación con respecto a las redes sociales es always respect your partner’s privacy.

Also, agree on posting your photos, especially if one of you isn’t a fan of showing off your love that way.

Véase también: Límites matrimoniales saludables con los amigos: Los 7 mejores ejemplos

¿Cómo se ponen límites en las relaciones?

Setting clear boundaries in a relationship is a process, and if you want to do it the right way, you should do it gradually, step by step. However, it’s really not a big deal.

Also, to maintain your boundaries, it’s important to trust each other, communicate regularly, and most importantly, understand each other’s needs.

En primer lugar, define tus límites personales

Even if you aren’t in a relationship, you should set your own boundaries, how you want to be treated by others.

Let’s start with self-awareness. It’s important to know your worth to set strong and healthy personal boundaries.

It’s important to know your limits, things you can tolerate and forgive, and those you can’t under no circumstances.

Establecer este tipo de límites significa que te respetas a ti mismo, que tienes un relación sana with yourself, and don’t allow others to mistreat you.

That will also protect you from being manipulated, controlled, used, or hurt by other people. Also, it’ll positively affect your self-esteem.

These are little promises you make to yourself. For example, don’t ever allow others to insult, humiliate, or criticize you.

Don’t allow other people to invade your personal space. And don’t ever allow anyone to take their negative emotions out on you.

Éstas son sólo algunas de las cosas en las que deberías poner límites para tener una relación sana y satisfactoria contigo mismo y con los demás.

El amor propio también es importante

Para tener una relación sana y satisfactoria con otra persona, primero debes tenerla contigo mismo.

Amor propio y la relación con uno mismo marcan la pauta de todas las demás relaciones de tu vida. So, if you don’t have healthy personal boundaries, it will be difficult for you to set them in your relationship.

Debes trabajar tu autoconciencia y tu autoestima. Debes saber lo que vales y lo que te mereces, para no permitir nunca que nadie te trate por debajo de eso.

Sé bueno contigo mismo. Trátate con respeto. Quiérete a ti mismo first. Don’t sacrifice your well-being; don’t neglect your own boundaries and limits just to please someone else.

It’ll only make you unhappy and unsatisfied with yourself. Then, you won’t be satisfied and happy in your relationship, which will only lead to you and your partner growing apart.

Don’t be afraid to speak your mind

Now, we’ll talk about setting healthy boundaries in a relationship. If you love your partner and you feel they love you back, you should be able to open up to them and talk about everything.

If you aren’t okay with some of their actions, their behavior, or how they treat you, you shouldn’t be afraid to talk to them about it.

Both of you should learn to communicate in a healthy way. There is no problem, no obstacle that you can’t overcome by practicing healthy comunicación.

If something is bothering you about your partner or your relationship and you are afraid to talk about it with them, then that’s a real problem.

It only means that you don’t trust them or that you don’t believe in the strength of your relationship and its power to overcome all issues and obstacles.

Comunicar con honestidad

If something is bothering you, or if you aren’t pleased with how your partner treats you, the best advice I can give you is to talk to them honestly about it.

Desahóguese con su pareja. Sé directo y sincero. Si reprimes tus emociones, sólo conseguirás distanciarte de tu pareja.

Incluso cuando se trata de esas emociones oscuras y negativas que todos sentimos a veces, también debes ser sincero con ellas.

Don’t think about it harming your relationship or how it could make your partner angry and make them break up with you.

No, if they really love you, they’ll be understanding, and they’ll immediately start working on ways to deal with it and overcome those issues.

Listen to your partner’s needs too

Igual que tú tienes necesidades y límites, tu pareja también los tiene. Y si quieres que respete los tuyos, tú también debes aceptar y respetar los suyos.

When your partner talks about things that are bothering them, listen but listen actively. They need to see that you’re hearing them.

Tus propias necesidades son importantes, pero las de ellos también deberían serlo.

Because it’s what a relationship, a partnership is all about; being equal and equally respecting each other’s needs and limits.

Always show that you understand your partner’s needs, and it’ll make their feelings for you even stronger.

Ask them to talk about their feelings directly and honestly, so you don’t have to guess what’s wrong every time they start behaving differently.

Ponga nombre a sus límites

Sabes cuáles son tus límites, ¿verdad? ¿Sabes cuáles son las cosas que nunca tolerarías o perdonarías a tu ser querido?

So, there’s no point in tiptoeing around. Be direct and tell your partner loud and clear. Define your boundaries to them and make them understand how important they are for you.

Stick to your limitations. If they keep overstepping your boundaries – don’t forgive them. It will only show them that you don’t respect them or yourself.

Créeme. Violarán tus límites una y otra vez. Si trazas la línea en algún sitio, debes aferrarte a esa línea y no permitir que nadie la sobrepase.

Deja tus sentimientos fuera de esto

Cuando empiece a trabajar en establecimiento de límites en una relación, ambos miembros de la pareja deben dejar sus sentimientos al margen. Tus sentimientos sólo pueden empeorar las cosas o hacer que te olvides de tus límites.

As we’ve already said, our feelings can blind us sometimes and make us forget all about our limitations and things we swore we’d nunca tolerar en las relaciones.

I know it’s difficult to talk about things that may damage or ruin your relationship with your loved one, but to prevent it, you must talk about it and, once again, set clear boundaries.

Establece tus límites y cúmplelos

It’s not just important to set your limits in a relationship. It’s important to follow through with them too.

It’s how you’ll show your partner how important your boundaries are to you, and they’ll try not to overstep them and respect them for the sake of your love and your relationship.

If they make a mistake and somehow overstep them, it’s okay because we all make mistakes sometimes, and you should forgive them.

However, it’s not a mistake if it happens more than once; it’s a sign they don’t respect your boundaries.
En ese caso, deberías advertirles del daño que causa a vuestra relación.

But also, you must know when it’s time to move on.

If you see that someone is neglecting your boundaries and doesn’t respect them, or if they don’t want to make an effort to respect them, no matter how much you love that person, you should let them go and move on.

Someone who’ll gladly respect you and your limits is waiting.

Respect your partner’s boundaries

Del mismo modo que quieres que tu pareja respete tus límites y fronteras, tienes que estar dispuesto a respetar los suyos.

Maybe you don’t agree with all of their boundaries, or you think some of them are completely insane or unnecessary; you should still try to accept and respect them if you honestly care for that person.

Todos somos personas diferentes y nos importan cosas distintas. Algunas cosas que son importantes para ti pueden no serlo para tu pareja y viceversa.

However, if you want to have a strong and successful relationship with someone, it’s essential to understand and respect their boundaries in your relationship.

Buscar ayuda o apoyo

Si el establecimiento de límites crea problemas en tu relación, deberías plantearte buscar ayuda externa.

Consider taking couples therapy or counseling where you’ll be able to learn from professionals how to set and maintain strong boundaries in relationships.

You can also talk with your friends or a person you both trust if you’re having a hard time accepting each other’s boundaries.

They care for you and your relationship, and I’m sure they’ll be glad to help you or give you good advice.

Establecer límites saludables es un proceso, así que ve paso a paso.

Setting boundaries in relationships can be very difficult and challenging for some couples. However, you must understand that it’s a process; it can’t be done overnight.

Debes hacerlo despacio, paso a paso.

Con una comunicación honesta y sana, puedes enfrentarte a cualquier cosa y superar todos los obstáculos que se te presenten.

Con un poco de esfuerzo por ambas partes, puedes ocuparte de establecer límites firmes en tu relación, mantenerlos y respetarlos.

Don’t hurry this process because you’ll probably make some hasty decisions.

If you aren’t sure you can accept some of your partner’s boundaries, talk to them about it, and try to find a solution together that will be good for both of you.

Don’t give up on your relationship just because you feel like you won’t be able to respect all of your partner’s boundaries.

Aprenderás a lidiar con ello con el tiempo porque tienes la motivación más poderosa, tu amor.

Conclusión

Como puedes ver, tener límites en las relaciones es IMPRESCINDIBLE para mejorar y mantener tu relación.

It’ll improve the trust between partners, their emotional health, their intimacy, and it’ll also strengthen the bond between them.

Establecer límites claros en una relación hará que ambos se sientan cómodos para ser más libres y abiertos con el otro.

Trust me. You can’t have a strong relationship with someone without setting strong and clear boundaries. And there is no need to be afraid of setting healthy boundaries in a relationship.

It’s important for the sake of the relationship and the well-being of both partners.

Setting and respecting each other’s boundaries will strengthen your relationship and create such a powerful and unbreakable bond between you.

Sin embargo, antes de empezar a trabajar en el establecimiento de límites en tu relación romántica, debes prestar atención a tus propios límites.

Establecer límites claros en tu propia vida es el primer paso para establecer límites en una relación.

Keep in mind that setting strong boundaries has many benefits for your relationship. Respect your partner’s boundaries but also don’t allow them to overstep your own.