No quiero química forzada, quiero conexión en estado puro

Is it really chemistry if it’s forced? I thought to myself while I was revisiting the last conversation with the guy I liked… or I thought I liked.

It’s not that there was something wrong with him, it’s just that it didn’t feel genuine.

You know, he didn’t make me uncontrollably think about him.

He didn’t make me daydream of our potential dates or forget about that banana bread in the oven.

No había nada que me hiciera querer imaginar nuestro futuro juntos o pensar en los nombres de nuestros inexistentes hijos. Y sinceramente, eso me molestaba.

I know I’m not 18 anymore and I know life isn’t a fairytale – I’m not being hysterical here – but knowing how unglamorous life is, IS the reason I want something extraordinary.

I’m not talking about a perfect life, but genuine connection.

Una verdadera comprensión, una obsesión por entrar en la profundidad de alguien a quien quieres porque te fascina mucho.

Quiero estudiarlos como un libro religioso. Quiero aprenderme a mi persona de memoria.

I’m talking about the decisión not to get bored with someone because boredom only means you’ve dar algo por sentadoya sea una persona o un día desapacible.

If you’re bored, it means you’re not paying attention.

I witnessed some very magical things in my life and I know love is real, and that’s why I will never give up, which brings me back to that something that bothered me in my last casi relación.

What bugged me most was probably the fact that I just didn’t feel comfortable enough around him. It still bugs me.

That doesn’t mean one of us had done something wrong, just that there probably was no deeper connection.

I believe my intuition wouldn’t lie to me when it comes to this kind of stuff.

Incluso mi cerebro se hacía preguntas como: ¿Realmente quieres pasar un número desconocido de años de tu vida sintiéndote así?

My immediate answer was no. No, I don’t want to feel like a half-finished painting. I don’t want to feel like I’m missing out.

Y sí, ya sé que el miedo a perderse algo es una enfermedad de hoy en día, pero escúchame.

If I’m about to share my life and my body with someone for the rest of my life, I want that connection to be raw.

Sin filtros. Sin edición, sin tabúes, sin censuras, sin cristales esmerilados.

Quiero que me vea tal como soy. Quiero sentirme lo suficientemente segura como para actuar de forma salvaje o ser completamente vulnerable.

Of course, there’s that one part of me that tells me I need to lower my expectations, but then there’s another that yells at me saying: Don’t settle for less than YOU think you deserve.

Después de todo, sólo tenemos una vida, y aunque esa afirmación a veces se siente como una presión, otras veces llega como una revelación.

No, I don’t want forced chemistry. I don’t want something that’s going to disappear after the fase de luna de miel.

I don’t want to constantly remind myself that “things could’ve been worse.”

I want things to be “worse” and still feel completely content with my decision. I want to go through “worse” with the persona adecuada.

The raw connection is felt on the soul level. It’s not calculated by how comfortable your life will be with someone.

De hecho, la comodidad es probablemente el camino más rápido hacia la insatisfacción en una relación.

Without challenges and growth, there’s no real freedom – and freedom is love.

Para ser felices, necesitamos experimentar el amor que deseamos. Para experimentar el amor que deseamos, debemos ser auténticos.

En otras palabras, debes actuar tú mismo para atraer a quien te amará por ello.

That’s a raw connection.

That’s something you deserve and why you shouldn’t stop saying to yourself: Don’t settle for less.