No te rogaré que me elijas, merezco más que eso
Mi amor, qué lejos hemos llegado.
Desde esa dulce pareja que se enamoró y quería pasar cada momento juntos hasta esto. From that caring couple who was everyone’s relationship goals, to this example everyone uses for toxic love. How far we’ve come. But it’s time I move on alone; it’s time for me to go even further. But without you.
No te rogaré que me seas fiel. Algo que te hacía tan feliz, algo que te honraba hacer. Estabas tan feliz de tenerme a tu lado que nunca mirabas a otras mujeres. Me sentía el ser humano más increíble que jamás haya existido porque tú me hacías sentir así. ¿Pero sinceramente? Esa sensación se desvaneció hace mucho tiempo.
No te rogaré que me respetes. I used to believe that respect is natural to have in a relationship. I respected you, so I assumed you will respect me back. And for a while, you did. You respected my choices, my career and everything I was. You respected when I said, ‘No’ and when I said, ‘I’m scared’. When was the last time you showed me any of it? When was the last time you respected my decision? Expect for this one when I decided to leave. On this one, you had no choice.
No te rogaré que te quedes a mi lado cuando los tiempos sean difíciles. You refused to be here when everything’s good, so I don’t really have any proof you’ll be here when they’re bad. I needed you, you know? I needed you by my side when I almost lost my job. I needed you by my side when my book was turned down. I needed you by my side when my mom was in hospital. But you were always so busy, struggling with deadlines, that you didn’t even notice my pain. You didn’t even care enough to notice how I’m drifting away. How my love is fading away in our empty, cold bedroom.
No te rogaré que me ames. Durante tanto tiempo, me esforcé tanto por hacerte ver lo increíble que soy, lo lista y guapa que soy. Pero miraste a través de mí. Me esforcé tanto para que te sientas querido, hoping that maybe, you will give some of that love back to me. Maybe you’ll finally hold me in your arms like you used to, look me in the eyes and make me feel loved right there, in that moment. With no words being said, just us, just our souls. But you never did.
No te rogaré que me elijas over your friends, over your job, over your fears. Because that’s exactly what’s holding you back. Your fear of committing to someone, your fear of settling down for only one woman for the rest of your life. You’re so afraid of missing out on other things, that you never realized that you’re losing me. And I refuse to settle down, hoping that maybe you’ll come around. I refuse to stay in a relationship where I keep thinking when will you leave. I refuse to beg you to choose me, because I already did that. I already chose myself over you, over your almost love, over your toxic behavior and over your fears. I can’t fight your fears for you, I can’t fight your demons for you. But I can fight mine for me. Good luck, my love. This is one last step we’re doing together.
