Nunca Te Perdonaré Por Romperme

It’s been three years and I can still taste your lips on mine, still feel your hand clasped in my hand, still feel your breath on my skin.

Nunca pensé que echaría de menos a alguien, o sentir este corazón roto, for so long, but I do, and I just want it to end now. I want you gone from my mind, as my thoughts can’t take it anymore.

Quiero que dejes de invadir mis ensoñaciones, que dejes de aparecer de la nada y de sorprenderme con el mismo dolor y la misma herida, una y otra vez.

Por favor, haz las maletas y abandona mi corazón, pues el lugar que has creado ya no te acoge.

Me rompiste cuando me usaste y me usaste porque estabas aburrido. Estabas aburrido de tu vida mundana, de tu aburrida esposa, de tu aburrido trabajo.

Wait… You had a wife? Funnily enough, I no longer feel guilty when I think of her, I just feel sorry for her, that she has you for a husband, that your kids will grow up with a liar and a cheat for a father.

Wait… You had kids, too? Oh yeah, so there were more people at risk of being hurt than just me when you decided you were bored, and that you needed a little fun, but you only ever thought of yourself.

O debería decir que sólo pensabas con la polla.

I don’t pretend to myself that you ever loved me, because I know that you never did, and you never would, and it would probably hurt more if we couldn’t be together if we loved each other.

Pero mi corazón aún quiere que finja que me querías, aunque sólo sea un poco.

Mi pobre y frágil corazón que se enamoró de ti hace tantos años, y suspiró por ti, y te echó de menos, y pensó que nunca volvería a verte.

Mi pobre y frágil corazón, que pasó de ese amor triste y no correspondido a encontrarte de nuevo, y saber que esta vez me querías.

That poor, fragile heart was suddenly rich and strong, and longing for yours. But you never gave me your heart—not one piece of it.

You just wanted to screw me, talk to me about everything your wife didn’t want to discuss, and have fun with me, so I was your partner in bed, your emotional partner, and your fun friend, and yet you threw me away like I was nothing at the end of it all.

You always said, “It is what it is.” But that’s how you got away with not poner una etiqueta on us and how you convinced yourself it wasn’t that bad of a thing to do to your family, or to me—the one you knew had loved you for so many years.

Cuando me enviaste un mensaje privado en Facebook ese día, debería haberlo ignorado o borrado.

Mi corazón nunca perdonará a mi cerebro por pulsar el botón de respuesta. Y yo nunca te perdonaré que me hayas destrozado así.

por Selina Hallam