¿Por qué me ignora mi amigo? 20 razones y soluciones
Las amistades se diferencian de las relaciones románticas en un aspecto importante: pueden soportar la distancia y la falta de contacto con mucha más facilidad. Tus amigos íntimos forman parte de tu familia ampliada – these kinds of relationships don’t follow the same progression as the one with your partner, so the expectations are different.
This doesn’t mean these relationships are unimportant, but there’s an understanding about vuestras vidas se mueven por separado hasta que convergen de vez en cuando y tenéis la oportunidad de pasar tiempo juntos. Encontrarse con viejos amigos puede reavivar amistades y no saber nada de tu mejor amigo durante una semana no suele ser motivo de preocupación.
Still, when your friend fails to call you back more than a couple of times in a row and leaves your texts on read so often that you start to wonder, “Why is my friend ignoring me?” there might be problems in your friendship with this person.
Puede que seas tú, puede que sean ellos o puede que no sea nada. Let’s take a close look at all of these possibilities and figure out what to do in each case.
¿Por qué me ignora mi amigo? 20 razones y cómo afrontarlas
When your best friend isn’t answering your phone calls or replying to your texts, you can’t help but wonder why. Your first reaction is probably to worry that something might have happened to them, but then you check and see that they’ve been online an hour ago, so you start to worry for entirely different reasons.
If you usually keep in touch with your friend regularly, it’s understandable if you’re confused and frustrated. You need to know what’s going on because you care for your friend and being kept in the dark by them is worse than being ghosted by someone you’ve been dating.
Instead of sitting around going crazy, thinking, “Why is my friend ignoring me?” your best choice is to think closely about what’s been going on with the two of you before they started ignoring you. La verdadera razón será obvia si examinas honesta y detenidamente tu relación.
He aquí algunas preguntas que puede plantearse y que podrían orientarle hacia la respuesta.
• Is it the first time this has happened or is there a pattern of behavior?
- ¿Hubo una discusión o sucedió de la nada?
• Has your friend been having problems – personal, relationship, work?
- ¿Tu amigo tiene problemas de salud mental que puedan provocar su retraimiento?
• Is your friend usually an outgoing person or ¿es una persona introvertida que a menudo necesita estar sola?
- ¿Tu amigo ha empezado a salir con alguien recientemente?
• Have either of you done something that might hurt the other person?
- ¿Es siempre uno de los dos quien inicia el contacto o mantiene la amistad?
• Has your friendship been rocky recently?
- ¿Estáis los dos amigos de verdad entre sí? Esto puede ser difícil de afrontar, pero ya sabes la respuesta.
After you’ve thought about these questions and gone through the list below, you’ll have an idea of what’s going on and how to deal with it. Once you do, you can decide how to address the issue.
1. Your friend isn’t actually ignoring you
Most people are closer to their dearest friends than to most of their family members – after all, close friends are the family you’ve chosen. It’s not unusual to feel that tu mejor amiga es tu hermana de corazón o tu hermano en todo lo que importa.
So, if you need your friend at the moment but they’re not available, you might feel like they’re ignoring you even when they’re not. When you’re feeling vulnerable and looking for the person you can trust and confide in, it’s easy to feel ignored if they don’t respond in the way you want them to.
SOLUCIÓN:
Empieza por analizar toda la situación en su contexto. How different is your friend’s behavior from the baseline? If you talk every day and you haven’t heard from them for two, is it a reason to worry?
What’s your mental and emotional state like? Consider if you might be overthinking things because you’re feeling needy. Before you confront your friend, ensure that they’re actually ignoring you and not simply unavailable because they have to attend to their own needs.
2. Tu amigo está ocupado
Las amistades adultas son diferentes de las que tenías cuando eras niño o estudiante de secundaria. Durante esos periodos de tu vida, haces amistad con personas que están cerca de ti todos los días y cuya vida cotidiana es similar a la tuya.
Cuando creces, tienes que centrarte en tu propia vida y tus amistades cambian. They’re no longer based on the amount of time you spend together, but you realize that your true friends are people who estar a tu lado cuando los necesites.
If your friend seems to be ignoring you, they might just be busy with something in their own life and don’t have time to focus on you. This doesn’t mean that they don’t care about you, but that, at the moment, they’re simply too busy to give you time.
SOLUCIÓN:
Even if you think that a true friend should never be too busy to at least send a “ttyl” text because that’s what you would do, take a moment and remember a time when you were swamped at work or too engrossed in a new job or a big project, or even just overwhelmed with daily life.
On days like those, time flies and it’s easy to forget about everything that isn’t the problem at hand. Give your friend the benefit of the doubt, but let them know that you’d like them to acknowledge you when you contact them next time you talk to each other.
3. Your friend has problems they can’t share with you
Your friend might have problems that they don’t feel like they can talk to you about or that are too personal to share with anyone at all. This could include marriage problems that they need to work on with their spouse, health issues they’re facing or money problems.
If you’re the kind of person who likes to share your burdens, it might seem like your friend doesn’t trust you, but that’s not true. Simplemente prefieren mantener ciertas cosas en privado o entre aquellos a quienes afectan. Puedes estar seguro de que tu amigo acudirá a ti si o si.
SOLUCIÓN:
Respect your friend’s boundaries. Don’t ask your mutual friends if they know what’s going on – let your friend come to you when they’re ready. Text them something that tells them that they can count on you and don’t push. Don’t try to make them feel guilty or like they have to talk to you.
4. They’re hiding because they’re going through something
Some people withdraw when problems arise and they don’t talk to others until they’re okay with what they’re going through. Los problemas habituales que pueden hacer que alguien huya de hablar de ellos son las cosas que ponen en tela de juicio sus creencias y valores o la imagen que tiene de sí mismo.
No dejarte entrar no es a sign your friend doesn’t care about youPero también puede ser difícil saber por qué te ignora. Puede ser difícil saber cuándo ésta puede ser la razón por la que tu amigo te ignora, y la respuesta está en su personalidad y su historia.
SOLUCIÓN:
If your friend doesn’t like talking about certain issues or if they’re prone to depression and avoidant moods, they might be hiding until they’ve dealt with a problem, so pushing won’t give you the result you want.
The only thing you can do is make sure that your friend knows that they can come to you if they need to – if that’s how you feel – and to be understanding if they can’t.
5. Tu amigo está recién enamorado y centrado en su interés amoroso
Muchas personas se obsesionan un poco con su pareja al principio de una nueva relación. When you’re newly in love, the last thing on your mind is thinking about how anyone else is feeling and your whole focus is on your new girlfriend or boyfriend.
A la hora de elegir entre su best friend vs. the person you’re dating to give your attention to, early in the relationship everyone hopes their friends can understand that they’re just a distraction at that moment.
SOLUCIÓN:
If your friend has been mentioning someone they like a lot and then suddenly gone missing, chances are that they found out the other person feels the same and they’re too busy for anything except their new love.
It’s up to you how you approach this when you talk to your friend, but be sure not to argue with them about this or make them feel that they’ve done something bad. Haz saber a tu amigo que le echas de menos sin obligarle a elegir.
6. Your friend thinks you’re mad at them
¿Tiene tu amigo algún motivo para pensar que puedes estar enfadado con él? If you argued before they went missing, they might think you’re angry and don’t know how to talk to you.
Facing your loved ones when you believe they’re mad at you can be extremely difficult if you don’t know how to deal with it. If there is unsolved conflict between you, your friend could simply be afraid.
SOLUCIÓN:
If you’re not angry with your friend, make sure they know it. Text them something funny or plainly tell them that you’re good. In case you are angry, but you’d still like to talk to them, be honest about that as well.
7. They’ve had enough of your behavior
Maybe your friend is ignoring you because you’ve pushed them too far. If you repeatedly do things that your friend dislikes, it’s possible that they’ve had enough. You might not even know what it is, if you lack self-awareness or if you don’t communicate with each other effectively.
This can be a dangerous situation if you’re both stubborn and unwilling to back up. If your friend feels that your friendship isn’t worth it because they doubt that you’re willing to change and become a better friend, they might refuse to even try, so they’re ignoring you.
SOLUCIÓN:
Es necesario que haya una conversación para tratar este asunto y que estés dispuesto a aceptar la posibilidad de que tu comportamiento haya provocado una ruptura. If your friendship is important to you, don’t be defensive if your friend points out something you do that they dislike.
En su lugar, piense en cómo debes tratar a tus mejores amigos y cultivar vuestra amistad.
8. Tu amistad gira en torno a ti
If your friend feels that you’re self-absorbed and that their only role is to be an audience to your monologues, they might have decided they’re not doing it anymore. Finding out if this is the case can be difficult because your friend might not think that they can tell you how they feel.
You must examine yourself, your behavior and your friendship closely and openly and honestly ask yourself, “Is it me?” If your friend feels like you’re not interested in them and what’s going on in their life, you might come to a point where they don’t want to be friends any longer.
SOLUCIÓN:
When a friend starts to pull back because they’re unhappy in the friendship, you must figure out if this is true by being completely honest with yourself. You already know if you’ve been using them not to feel lonely or to have someone to go out with and not because you care for them.
Si quieres solucionarlo, debes aprender a ser un buen amigo que presta atención y ofrece apoyo. If you don’t particularly care, still consider changing it and deepening your friendship because you can experience things you can’t in a superficial one.
9. You’re holding them back
One of the reasons why your friend might be pulling away and ignoring you is if you’ve been unsupportive and they feel like you’re holding them back from what they want in life. This can often happen in friendships that begin early in life and continue for years.
When you’re used to your friend being in the same situation as you, you might hold them back when they try to move forward. Por ejemplo, podrías disuadirles de mudarse cuando en realidad sería bueno para ellos porque quieres mantenerlos cerca. Otro ejemplo es que si ambos lleváis un estilo de vida poco saludable, podrías hacer que se sintieran mal por intentar cambiar.
SOLUCIÓN:
Has your friend been trying to change and you’ve been trying to make them feel like they can’t because then it will only be you who’s not working on yourself?
Piensa en tu relación sin pretensiones y sé sincero sobre lo que obtienes de ella. If it’s validation of your own negative behaviors, consider doing things that will improve your emotional state or your mental health.
Elige apoyarle y deja que tu amigo te inspire en lugar de frenarle.
10. You’re too demanding or clingy
Do you often demand attention, time or something else from your friend and you’re used to getting it? If you often depend on your friend and get frustrated when they prioritize their own life, it’s possible that they’re ignoring you because they can’t deal with you at the moment.
SOLUCIÓN:
Aprenda a satisfacer sus propias necesidades y deja de ser pegajoso to stop making your friend feel like they’re not a good friend if they choose themselves. Esto puede arruinar amistades, así que si te preocupas por tu amigo, debes trabajar en ello.
If your friend ignores you instead of being able to tell you that they can’t help you at the moment, they feel like you won’t take it well so they’re not even trying.
11. Tu amistad es diferente de lo que crees
Si cree que ha encontrado un amistad alma gemelapero tu amigo rara vez piensa en ti fuera del trabajo, de las reuniones de grupo o de otro entorno en el que soléis veros, puede que tus expectativas sean demasiado altas.
Sometimes when you meet someone you like and want to be friends with, you might start moving too fast and trying to quickly create a connection. If you and the other person aren’t in the same place, they might find it overwhelming.
SOLUCIÓN:
¿Quieres salir más con ellos, pero siempre parecen sorprendidos cuando les contactas y rara vez aceptan?
Piensa en el tiempo que hace que conoces a esa persona y si su falta de contacto es tan significativa para ella como para ti. Si usted piensa en ellos como amigos íntimos y ellos piensan en usted como conocidos, puede que haya llegado el momento de aceptar la realidad y frenar o seguir adelante.
12. Tu amigo está celoso de ti
If your friend doesn’t like who they are, they might be jealous of you and avoid you because you remind them of their own shortcomings. If they’re sentirse inseguro a su alrededor because you’re moving forward or because you’re doing things they can’t, they don’t want a reminder so they might be distancing themselves.
SOLUCIÓN:
This doesn’t mean that your friend means to hurt you, but it’s a sign that they’re unhappy with themselves. Si sabe decir quiénes son tus verdaderos amigos, you’ll be able to decide if this friendship is worth fighting for.
Help your friend if you believe that they’re going through a rough patch, but if you know that they’re just toxic, it’s best to let them ignore you and go about your own life.
13. They’ve been a fake friend all along
People can always tell when they’re involved in relationships that aren’t good for them, but there are reasons why we stay in those relationships. If you’ve been ignoring your intuition and accepted a one-sided friendship, this might be your chance to change things.
SOLUCIÓN:
Hay muchos señales de un amigo falso that can tell you if someone you care for doesn’t have your best interests in mind. Si esta persona nunca ha sido un amigo para ti en primer lugar, su distancia puede ser justo lo que necesitabas para elegirte a ti mismo y seguir adelante.
14. Tu amigo es tóxico
¿Salir con tu amigo te deja a menudo exhausto? ¿Utiliza técnicas de manipulación como el silencio o la culpabilización para conseguir lo que quiere de ti? ¿Te hace cumplidos sin venir a cuento?
If the answers to these questions are ‘yes’, you’re dealing with a toxic friend. Si este tipo de persona te ignora, puede ser un juego de poder y un intento de conseguir algo.
SOLUCIÓN:
Use this chance and turn things around – distanciarse from someone who isn’t good for you and decide to let go of this friendship because it’s only hurting you. If you’ve stuck with them because you feel lonely, now you’ll have the motivation and the emotional space to connect with someone else.
15. Eres tóxico
You might think that you’re besties, but are you really as good of a friend as you think?
Are you critical, dismissive or controlling? Do you only contact them when you need something or when you’re bored? Do you think of them as competition? Si es así, puede que tú seas el amigo tóxico en esta relación.
They’re ignoring you because they’re tired of playing along and need space.
SOLUCIÓN:
Most people don’t decide to be toxic in relationships, but it happens because of insecurities and self-esteem problems. Trabaja en ti mismo e intenta desarrollar la cualidades de un mejor amigo que deseas en otra persona y darte cuenta de que las relaciones tienen dos caras.
16. You’ve done something to hurt them
Maybe you said something without thinking or you did something that you knew would cause your friend pain, but if you’ve hurt your friend, they might not want to talk to you for a while or at all.
Of course, intent matters, but even if you didn’t mean to hurt them, it still happened and your friend is either done with you or needs time to deal with it.
SOLUCIÓN:
Discúlpate cara a cara y en serio. ‘I’m sorry’ without genuine honesty and regret is nothing. Asume la responsabilidad de tus actos y ten la determinación de no repetirlos si quieres salvar tu amistad.
17. They’ve done something that would hurt you if you found out
Perhaps your friend feels guilty about something they’ve done, so they’re avoiding you. If they did something that they know would cause you pain if you knew, it might be the reason why they’re ignoring you – tu amigo tiene miedo de que lo descubras.
SOLUCIÓN:
Por ejemplo, si tu amigo empezara a salir con tu ex, al que solías querer, sabe que eso te entristecería, o algo parecido que sabía que te haría daño. Una vez que averigües de qué se trata, deberás considerar detenidamente tus sentimientos y sus acciones.
Piensa si lo hicieron a pesar de saber que te haría daño y si tuvieron la opción de no hacerlo, y cómo te sientes al respecto.
18. They’ve replaced you
Your friend stopped replying to your texts, so you’re worried and you check their social media to see if they’re around, only to find out that they’re having a blast with new friends doing something you talked about doing together.
Some people are flaky and easily change without consideration of other people’s feelings. Para gente así, los demás no son más que un entretenimiento y no son realmente importantes para ellos.
SOLUCIÓN:
Si your friend doesn’t respect you enough to let you know when they change their mind and leave you hanging, you’re better off without them. It’s important not to accept their excuses if they offer any because this is a sign of not being able to rely on them.
19. They don’t want to be friends any more
En solía ser tu mejor amigo, but recently it feels like they’re never around. When you contact them, they’re curt and eager to get away.
They might not be rude to you, but you feel like they’d rather do anything but spend time with you.
It might be something related to your actions, something connected with what’s going on in their lives or something completely different – whatever the reason, quieren acabar con tu amistad.
SOLUCIÓN:
You can’t force anyone to like you and if someone is not interested in being your friend any longer, let them go. Approach it the same way you’d approach a breakup of a romantic relationship and protect your feelings.
20. You’re drifting apart
A veces llega un momento en que las diferencias en los estilos de vida, el cambio de prioridades o simplemente el hecho de convertirnos en personas diferentes hace que las amistades se acaben.
When both of you are slowly drifting apart, you might be trying to preserve what you’ve had, but it’s not working. Intentar forzar que las cosas sigan igual puede acabar en amargura y resentimiento.
SOLUCIÓN:
If you’ve been friends for a long time, it might be difficult to accept that you’re not the way you used to be, but instead of thinking in all-or-nothing terms, think of it as a change.
You don’t have to explicitly end things or forget about this person, but stop thinking of them as your best friend and someone who’ll be there when you need them and vice versa. Dé un paso atrás en desarrollo de la amistad, accept that you’re less close and let things go.
Conclusión
It’s natural to miss your friend when they’re not talking to you and to be hurt and if you don’t know why it’s happening. The easiest way to figure out the answer to the question “Why is my friend ignoring me?” would be to ask them, but even if they’ve locked you out completely, there’s still a way to pinpoint the reason.
Tienes que ser consciente de ti mismo y honesto contigo mismo y pensar en tu amistad. Usually, if there’s a problem, all the signs are already there. In some cases, you’ll have to accept that your relationship has come to an end and that the best thing you can do for yourself is to move on.
If it was your behavior that caused your friend to distance themselves, this could be the motivation you need to think about it and decide how it should change. If your friend is going through something, let them know that they can rely on you and come to you when they’re ready.
