Mi problema es que siempre soy el que más ama

I didn’t learn from my mistakes. Giving too much of myself away was never a problem in the beginning, but that would soon change.

No sólo contigo, sino en todas mis relaciones anteriores a ti. Me resulta tan familiar, la misma sensación una y otra vez.

It never changes, because I can’t stop it.

I can’t stop loving everything and everyone so deeply. Call me too weak, but I don’t see it as a weakness anymore.

A mis ojos, los que dan por sentados mis sentimientos son los débiles.

Want to know why? It’s because they get scared. People are not used to being loved, so when they encounter someone who is willing to love them unconditionally, they either run aware or they simply take advantage of that person.

Te aprovechaste de mí.

Viste la posibilidad de tener por fin la sartén por el mango en algo y yo, alguien tan ingenuo, creí que tus intenciones eran buenas.

That you were going to be there for me, because we were going to handle everything together. Or at least that’s what I thought.

Let me first remind you of the beginning of our relationship, and maybe you’ll remember those promises you gave me. You promised to love and cherish me because, as you said, there was no one like me in this world.

You promised to be there for me whenever I’d need you, but remember the time my grandmother died and you said that I was going to be fine even without you?

Well, guess what? I wasn’t fine! You also promised to never do anything harmful to me.

Well, I guess you’d changed your mind.

Pocos días después de que me hicieras esas promesas, estaba perdidamente enamorada de ti, pues creía que eras la persona que había estado buscando toda mi vida. Parece que estuve ciego todo este tiempo.

You didn’t bother to make me feel loved, everyone was more important than I was. To you, I was someone who would wait for you every night.

Actually, it would not matter if you came home at night—you knew that I would still be waiting for you because I really did love you.

Por desgracia, todo lo que viste en mí fue a alguien que te hacía la cena y pagaba las facturas.

Te entregué todo mi ser. Todo lo que era y tenía era tuyo y sólo tuyo.

You would leave me alone for days and I would never know where you’d been, until you would come home to me explaining that the bruises on your body weren’t from other women but from fights you got into.

Those excuses worked until the night you came home with lipstick on the back of your neck. It was too obvious, so I didn’t even bother asking why you came home so late that night.

To you and everyone else wondering, I don’t know why I stayed so long either.

Me dije que en el amor había que hacer sacrificios. Mi sacrificio fue mi orgullo.

La verdadera pregunta es: ¿qué has aportado? ¿O nunca pretendiste aportar nada? Todo lo que hiciste fue tomar de mí, nunca dar nada.

Not even the day I finally decided to pack my stuff and leave—you didn’t even bother to try and talk to me about the reasons why I was leaving; probably because you knew why.

Sabías que ya era hora de que por fin me amara a mí misma más de lo que te amaba a ti.

No es que te importara, tenías demasiados otros labios que besar como para molestarte en darme un beso de despedida.

Amar y perdonar nunca fue una carga para mí hasta que te conocí y entonces lo hice demasiado. Te perdoné demasiadas veces por el amor que sentía.

¿Y ahora? Me quiero demasiado para perdonar nunca más. La única persona a la que realmente tengo que perdonar es a mí misma. Perdonarme a mí mismo por dejar que todo esto suceda.

The last thing I want to tell you is that I’m really sorry for the man who will truly love me.

I have a feeling that I won’t be able to love him the way I loved before but that’s probably because I got sick of being the one who loves and cares more in a relationship.