7 señales de que deberías DEFINITIVAMENTE arreglar las cosas con tu pareja

“To be, or not to be; that is the question.” To work things out, or not to, that is an even better question.

When you’re having a rough patch or going through some bad times one way or another, the first thing that naturally comes to your mind is GETTING OUT and salvarte a ti mismo.

Se trata de un atajo que muchos de nosotros hemos optado por seguir debido a la falta de razones para solucionar las cosas en su lugar.

But don’t get me wrong; in some situations, getting out (breaking up) is the only right thing to do, such as when we’re in an abusive relationship.

Las mejores relaciones no son las que son perfectas por defecto, sino aquellas en las que la pareja hace un esfuerzo continuo a pesar de todas las dificultades y obstáculos.

If you both know that you’ve done everything in your power and still nothing has changed, then you know the best option is to go your separate ways.

Sin embargo, si las siguientes señales son ciertas en tu relación, entonces deberías considerar arreglar las cosas con tu pareja en lugar de romper porque las cosas DEFINITIVAMENTE mejorarán:

La relación aún te hace (querer ser) mejor persona

Antes de hacer nada, párate un momento a pensar si te gustabas más antes de esta relación o te gustas más ahora.

Si la respuesta es esta última, es una buena señal.

Usually, when a relationship is toxic and bad for you, there’s not a chance of you flourishing and becoming a better person.

A mí me pasó lo mismo hace poco.

Estuve en una relación durante algún tiempo y antes de que estuviera a punto de romper con ellos, me di cuenta de que ya no era la misma persona de antes.

En lugar de convertirme en una persona mejor, me había transformado totalmente en alguien a quien ya no reconocía.

Después de un tiempo de estar soltera de nuevo, me recargué y me sentí diez veces mejor que antes.

People around me confirmed that I was glowing once again and that’s exactly how I felt inside out.

Los conflictos externos te hacen infeliz (no los conflictos internos de personalidad)

En la mayoría de los casos, las relaciones se ven amenazadas por conflictos externos, como problemas de dinero o de pareja y otras circunstancias.

Perhaps you’re living under the same roof with your parents and you have no privacy or you are currently unemployed.

Debido a todo este estrés, es posible que evites hacer el amor con tu pareja, los abrazos y otras actividades románticas.

Es entonces cuando las cosas empiezan a torcerse en una relación y uno de los miembros de la pareja (o ambos) empieza a sentirse desatendido.

Still, it’s important to understand that these problems can be SOLVED and you shouldn’t break up with your partner.

Instead, you should both understand that the problem is not your relationship and instead something you can’t really influence but you can work on making things better.

Os seguís apoyando y respetando

No, I don’t mean apoyarse mutuamente en las redes sociales, sino en situaciones de la vida real (especialmente en tiempos difíciles).

If you’re still supportive and respectful of each other, it means you are probably still in love.

Lo que ocurre es que, cuando las parejas se desenamoran, dejan de respetarse y la relación empieza a desmoronarse. La falta de respeto es uno de los mayores signs your partner doesn’t love you anymore.

Si no hay apoyo ni respeto en una relación, es una enorme señal de alarma, porque esas situaciones suelen ser irreparables.

Sin embargo, la falta de pasión o la lucha por decir Te quiero por el momento son cosas que pueden resolverse con un esfuerzo mutuo.

Tus amigos y familiares siguen apoyando la relación

Cuando se trata de relaciones, nuestros amigos y familiares suelen ser mejores jueces que nosotros mismos.

Siempre se dan cuenta de si somos más felices en una relación o si ésta se ha convertido en una carga para nosotros.

So, if your best friends or family members are telling you that you shouldn’t break up with your partner, it is because they know that you are still a good match and you can work things out.

Desde su punto de vista, seguís enamorados, pero sólo tenéis que trabajar para mejorar las cosas (sea cual sea el problema) y, si sois pacientes y constantes, seguro que lo conseguiréis.

Véase también: Cómo arreglar una relación rota: 10 maneras de arreglar las cosas

Sigues queriendo estar con tu pareja en las buenas y en las malas

If you said, “I do,” then you know the true difficulty and the meaning of the statement ‘for better or worse’.

Regardless of whether you’re married or in a relationship, I want you to ask yourself the following: “Do I still feel good with my partner when I’m both at my worst and at my best?”

¿Sigues queriendo estar con ellos tanto cuando las cosas se tuercen como cuando todo va sobre ruedas?

Si la respuesta es sí, entonces deberías solucionar las cosas en lugar de romper con ellos.

¿Por qué? Porque significa que vuestra relación sigue teniendo una base sana. Podéis seguir confiando el uno en el otro independientemente de la situación.

It’s easy to be with someone when everything works perfectly but wanting to be with someone even when everything is falling apart is a sign of true love and devotion.

Los momentos felices eclipsan a los malos

One sure-fire way to figure out if you’re in an abusive and relación tóxica que no tiene futuro es comparando los momentos felices con los malos de tu relación.

Do you notice that the happy moments are the ones prevailing in your mind? If yes, then you know there’s nothing you should worry about.

Vive la vida al máximo, no te arrepientas, relájate y disfruta de cada segundo que pases con tu pareja.

Work on improving those little things that are causing you trouble at the moment and you’ll be just fine.

Tienes el presentimiento de que deberíais seguir juntos.

Por último, pero no por ello menos importante, si tienes un presentimiento (esa vocecita en tu cabeza) que te dice que deberíais solucionar las cosas y seguir juntos, entonces deberías confiar en ti mismo.

Tu instinto es tu alma diciéndote lo que debes hacer, así que nunca debes cuestionarlo.

En lugar de eso, debes mantener una actitud positiva y repetirte a ti mismo: ¡Podemos solucionarlo!

If you believe that you can, then you’re already halfway there.

Para ayudarte con el compartimento de la motivación, aquí tienes una lista de citas inspiradoras sobre cómo solucionar las cosas.

39 frases inspiradoras que te ayudarán a superar tus problemas de pareja

1. “Whatever problems arise in a romantic relationship, it’s important to face them together as a couple. If an aspect of the relationship stops working, don’t simply ignore it, but instead address it with your partner. Things change, so respond to them together as they do.” – Anne Nwakama

2. “Behind every happy couple lies two people who have fought hard to overcome all obstacles and interferences to be that way. Why? Because it’s what they wanted.” – Kim George

3. “Relationships last long not because they’re destined to last long. Relationships last long because two brave people made a choice. To keep it, fight for it and to work for it.” – Unknown

4. “You can’t just give up on someone just because the situation is not ideal. Great relationships aren’t great because they have no problems. They’re great because both people care about the other person to find a way to make it work.” – Unknown

5. “We are told that people stay in love because of química, or because they remain intrigued with each other, because of many kindnesses, because of luck. But part of it has got to be forgiveness and gratefulness.” – Ellen Goodman

6. “Forget all the reasons why it won’t work and believe the one reason why it will.” – Unknown

7. “Every relationship needs an argument every now and then. Just to prove that it is strong enough to survive. Long-term relationships, the ones that matter, are all about weathering the peaks and the valleys.” – Melchor Lim

8. “A beautiful relationship does not depend on how well we understand someone but it depends on how well we avoid misunderstanding.” – Unknown

Véase también: Citas de amor que conmueven el corazón; 100 + Citas que derriten el corazón para tu ser querido

9. “Every relationship has its problems but what makes it perfect is when you still want to be there when everything goes wrong.” – Ritu Ghatourey

10. “The couples that are meant to be are the ones who go through everything that is meant to tear them apart and come out even stronger.” – Unknown

11. “When you find someone you can truly love, you will fight to keep that relationship. No matter what obstacles you both will face, you will never give up on each other. You may get lost along the way, but one of you always keeps catching the other. Soon one day both of you will have each other’s backs.” – Jenna Bognar

12. “You can’t have a relationship without any fights but you can make your relationship worth the fight.” – Unknown

13. “Love isn’t when there are no fights in the relationship. Love is when once the fight ends, love is still there.” – Unknown

14. “Relationships include: fights, celos, arguments, and tears. But a real relationship fights through all of those with love.” – Unknown

15. “A relationship is like a house. When a light bulb burns out you do not go and buy a new house, you fix the light bulb.” – Unknown

16. “All relationships have one law. Never make the one you love feel alone, especially when you’re there.” – Unknown

17. “A true relationship is two imperfect people refusing to let go of each other.” – Unknown

18. “Love is the remedy of all problems, misunderstandings become jokes, insults become humor, a perfect relationship.” – Dielnov Muchati

19. “Great couples still get angry with each other, but they continue to discuss until there is a solution even if it takes several days.” – Bob Grant

20. “The emotion that can break your heart is sometimes the very one that heals it.” – Nicholas Sparks

Véase también: Los 6 problemas de pareja más comunes que no tienen arreglo

21. “Trouble is part of your life, and if you don’t share it, you don’t give the person who loves you enough chance to love you enough.” – Dinah Shore

22. “I think a relationship is like a shark. It has to constantly move forward or it dies.” – Woody Allen

23. “There is no love without forgiveness, and there is no forgiveness without love.” – Bryant H. McGill

24. “Problems should be like speed bumps. You slow down just to get over it, but you don’t let it stop you from heading to your destination.” – Sonya Parker

25. “All relationships go through bad times, but real relationships get through bad times.” – Anurag Prakash Ray

26. “Hold no grudges and practice forgiveness. This is the key to having peace in all your relationships.” – Wayne Dyer

27. “Problemas en las relaciones occur because each person is concentrating on what is missing in the other person.” – Wayne Dyer

28. “We don’t develop courage by being happy every day. We develop it by surviving difficult times and challenging adversity.” – Barbara de Angelis

29. “Both people need to care deeply about the other person, to put the other’s needs before their own, and to make a daily commitment to that person to stick it out.” – Alessandra Torre

30. “In any serious relationship, if you don’t gather your partner’s opinion before making a decision that impacts you both, you’re just storing up trouble for the future.” – Cindy Woodsmall

31. “The truth is, everybody is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.” – Bob Marley

32. “Good communication is less about saying what you mean, and more about defining what you say.” – Kelli Jae Baeli

Véase también: Tú Eres Mi Vida Citas: Dichos profundos y hermosos para él y para ella

33. “Explain your anger, don’t express it and you will immediately open the door to solutions instead of arguments.” – Unknown

34. “Shared joy is a double joy; shared sorrow is half a sorrow.” – Swedish proverb

35. “Some of the biggest challenges in relationships come from the fact that most people enter a relationship in order to get something: they’re trying to find someone who’s going to make them feel good. In reality, the only way una relación durará is if you see your relationship as a place that you go to give, and not a place that you go to take.” – Anthony Robbins

36. “Sometimes you put walls up not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to break them down.” – Socrates

37. “To solve the problem you have to recognize your share of responsibility. If you only blame the other person, you will never solve it.” – Unknown

38. “Nobody likes conflict, but sweeping issues under the rug ultimately causes more damage than addressing things directly.” – Unknown

39. “The extent to which two people in a relationship can bring up and resolve issues is a critical marker of the soundness of a relationship.” – Henry Cloud

Reflexiones finales