¿Estás saboteando inconscientemente tu relación? Estas 10 cosas dicen que sí

Have you had very painful experiences in the past when it comes to your love life? You’re now worried that it may greatly affect your new relationship?

Close that door, leave it all in the past and don’t let it play with your head because otherwise, it’ll definitely put the brakes on your relationship.

La verdad es que nunca podemos estar seguros de que nuestra relación esté destinada a durar para siempre. Puede costarnos que nos rompan el corazón, pero también puede hacer que nuestra vida sea mucho mejor.

So why won’t we focus on those positive things rather than on the negative ones? Why won’t we let yourself enjoy beautiful moments with our loved one?

El lema de mi vida siempre ha sido ‘if you’re happy, enjoy it while it lasts because in the end… feelings, things, human beings… everything in life is just temporary’.

Deja de temer todo el tiempo que tu pareja pueda hacerte daño algún día. Ese tipo de miedo te hará hacer inconscientemente algunas de las cosas que se indican a continuación, que podrían sabotear tu relación.

And you’ll definitely regret it later.

You don’t want to commit

Does it ever seem to you that your relationship is good on paper, but there’s still something missing?

I know, I’ve been there. I loved the man I was with and I honestly believed he loved me too and I STILL didn’t want to commit.

Was there anything wrong with him? Absolutely not. Was I scared of letting someone love me after I’d been hurt before? Absolutely yes.

Once you realize that it’s YOU and your past experiences sabotaging your chance of love, your new relationship will blossom. Stop searching for his flaws and take a leap of faith.

You’re super jealous

Your partner doesn’t give you any reason to doubt his fidelity but you’re still feeling jealous all the time and you just can’t help it?

I know the feeling. I was jealous of all of his female friends and work colleagues. He really didn’t provoke it in any way but still, I couldn’t bear the thought of any other woman being close to him.

I wasn’t aware of how los celos son en realidad una emoción muy destructiva. Realmente puede dañar o incluso arruinar tu relación.

You must work on building trust in your relationship more and you’ll just have to trust your partner more if you want to save your relationship.

Comparas a tu pareja con tu ex todo el tiempo

You really let go of the past and moved on with your new partner but you can’t still stop comparing him to your ex? No matter what he does, you always look for some similarities or differences with your ex’s actions?

Of course, they’re not the same and neither should they be. You left your ex because something was wrong with his behavior or his actions, so why would you date a man who looks a lot like him?

Also, this is definitely something that will bother your partner the most. I didn’t do that to my partner but I was the one who was being compared to an ex once and I have to admit, it’s not a nice feeling at all.

If you’re comparing your new man to your ex all the time, it’ll make your partner think that you either still love your ex or that you’re with him just to forget your ex.

Sus expectativas no son realistas

Have you ever heard the saying ‘no expectations, no disappointment’? I couldn’t agree more with that.

Estaba saboteando mi relación sobre todo porque realmente le pedía demasiado a mi novio. Lo quería todo y lo quería inmediatamente. Pero al final, solo nos decepcionaba y nos hacía daño a los dos.

It’s good to know your worth and expect to get what you deserve but you can’t ask for something you yourself know is unrealistic.

If you expect too much from your partner, if you set them sky-high expectations, you must know that it won’t probably end well. Your partner won’t be able to fulfill them and both of you will be disappointed.

Utilizas un comportamiento controlador

Tu ex pareja te ha engañado y ahora crees que la única forma de protegerte para que no se repita ese escenario es controlando a tu novio?

I’m sorry but you’re wrong. You’ll just look like a freak or a crazy person and your boyfriend could still find a way to betray you if they wanted to.

You’ll get nothing from this kind of behavior except that it can make you look bad in his eyes.

En realidad, El comportamiento controlador es uno de los signos más típicos del autosabotaje.

Neither you nor your partner will be able to relax or be happy in your relationship. It’ll create a toxic atmosphere and will end your relationship.

Guardas rencor

You have forgiven people way too many times in your life and you have given many second chances to people who didn’t even deserve the first one?

Sé cómo te sientes y sé lo difícil que es volver a confiar en alguien. Sin embargo, debes saber que no todas las personas son iguales y que todos merecemos ser perdonados alguna vez.

Before I learned to forgive someone again, I was a ‘grudge holder’. I couldn’t just forgive, forget about it and let it go. It harmed my relationship because I was radiating negativity most of the time.

If you hold grudges against your partner too often, that means you’re angry at them most of the time, which makes the atmosphere between you too negative.

Maybe it won’t end your relationship but it’ll probably damage it greatly.

Inicias peleas a propósito muy a menudo

You’re always the one who is picking fights, even about some stupid little things? Well, that’s actually a way you’re self-sabotaging your relationship.

If you don’t want to communicate your issues in a healthy way, your partner will get tired of your fights and they’ll probably leave you.

Recuerda que todos los problemas pueden resolverse con una comunicación honesta y sana.

Te niegas a tener intimidad física

You don’t have a fear of being intimate with your partner but still, you’re withholding it and even you don’t know what the real reason is for that?

Well, it’s actually how you want to subconsciously or unconsciously sabotear tu relación.

Okay, physical intimacy isn’t the most important thing in a relationship but it’s definitely at the very top of the list and you know how important it is for a healthy relationship.

Siempre cancelas los planes en el último momento

Well, admit it, how much do you hate it when someone does it to you? You’re waiting, all glammed up, and then you receive a text or a call and your plans are canceled all of a sudden.

Well, I swear it’s the time I get the most angry.

Still, I did it to my ex often. It was just that I thought he wouldn’t get mad at me or that he would forgive me because he’d understand I had other obligations and plans.

It’s so wrong to do this because your loved one must always be your top priority and nothing and no one should be more important than them.

Este es también uno de los signos más evidentes del autosabotaje.

If you start doing it more often, your partner probably won’t want to put up with that behavior for too long because they’ll start thinking that you’re purposely avoiding them.

You still aren’t ready to let go of the past

If you’re still talking about your ex and if you still think about them, it’ll definitely sabotage your new relationship.

I jumped into a new relationship way too soon and as you can imagine, it didn’t turn out well. I hurt myself and I hurt that person, even though he really didn’t deserve it.

If you really want to make your new relationship work, you must leave your ex in the past and close that door forever. If you keep going back to the past, you’ll hurt both you and your current boyfriend.

Don’t let the fear you have from some past experiences get to you and sabotage your new relationship. Just because your ex-partner hurt you, it doesn’t mean your present one will too.

Consider yourself lucky because in this cruel and strange world, you’ve found someone who loves you and you should just simply enjoy it while it lasts.