35 señales de alarma en las redes sociales de las que hay que cuidarse
The good thing about social media is that it allows insight into people in your life you wouldn’t have otherwise. Algunas personas actúan de forma distinta en las redes sociales que en la vida real porque separan su personalidad online de su vida real.
In romantic relationships, this can uncover some things that will make you question your choice of significant other. If they post things they wouldn’t say to someone directly, or if they act in a way that they don’t offline, these are social media red flags in relationships.
Cualquier coach sentimental diría que esto puede causar problemas porque todo lo que se publica en Internet nunca desaparece realmente. Even if something is deleted, there’s always some evidence somewhere that can lead to discovering a side of your partner that you can’t accept.
Here’s what you should be watching out for.
Señales de alarma en las redes sociales
The best relationship advice is that you should always be honest with your significant other – if your partner is doing sketchy things on social media, it’s the exact opposite of that.
If instead of dealing with your problems in private, they’re showing the whole world what’s going on or if they’re flirting with other people hoping you won’t see, you might have a problem.
Busca estas señales de alarma en las redes sociales para saber a qué atenerte.
1. They’re always online
All of us probably spend too much time on social media, but if your partner is chronically online to a point where they get out of touch with reality, it’s a definitive red flag. People who live like this have a completely warped worldview and forget what life among real people is like porque la mayoría de sus interacciones son con personas esencialmente anónimas.
2. They’re on social media a lot even when you’re together
Constantly checking social media accounts even while you’re spending time together could mean that they consider their feed more important than your relationship or have something going on that they prefer to being with you.
Otra razón para comprobar constantemente su teléfono podría ser una adicción a las redes sociales: utilizar las redes sociales para dejar de lado los problemas de la vida real y olvidarse de ellos en lugar de resolverlos.
3. Tienen varias cuentas secretas
Algunas personas tienen varias cuentas en las redes sociales porque las utilizan para fines distintos, como tener perfiles privados y profesionales, pero las cuentas secretas son otra historia. Esto suele significar que tienen algo que ocultar, and if it’s your significant other hiding something from you, it’s a definite cause of concern.
4. Inician peleas en Internet o escriben mensajes poco claros.
Most people get into an internet argument at some point, but if your partner has a habit of starting them, it’s a red flag. People who enjoy online trolling and bullying aren’t looking for constructive arguments, but personal satisfaction from defeating their opponent at any cost.
Escribir posts con el propósito de provocar a la gente es quizás aún más problemático porque demuestra premeditación e intención de molestar a la gente.
5. Retuitean a personas o publicaciones con las que no estás de acuerdo
Que te guste un post que te haga mirar de reojo una vez puede pasarse por alto, pero si a su pareja a menudo le gusta y se relaciona con personas y publicaciones con las que usted no está de acuerdo, puede que sea una persona diferente de la que usted pensaba que era. If these opinions are something they know you wouldn’t approve of and they’re hiding them from you on purpose, it indicates an even bigger problem.
6. Publican cosas que chocan con tus valores
Yendo un paso más allá, si tu pareja crea publicaciones o adopta una personalidad en Internet que choca directamente con tus valores, es una seria señal de alarma en la relación.
Cuando ciertos valores y creencias de una persona son incompatibles, es muy difícil mantener una relación sana. This especially applies if they don’t express such opinions offline and you only learned about them from social media.
7. Sus intereses son cuestionables
The internet is great when you want to explore and learn about things that interest you, but for the same reason it’s also terrible. Unfortunately, it’s easy to find groups centered around certain interests which are immediate major red flags, such as anything involving violence, hate and abuse. If you notice that your partner’s online interests include some of these, be wary.
8. Sus estados y publicaciones son mayoritariamente negativos
If their posts are mostly concerned with how much someone sucks or how much they hate something, it’s a red flag that points to unhappiness with their own self. The danger of being excessively negative on the internet is that it tends to draw in people with similar opinions.
Cuando las personas que tienen actitudes pesimistas y hostiles similares se encuentran en Internet, tienden a crear un bucle de retroalimentación – they feed one another’s ideas and escalate them.
9. Sus mensajes llaman la atención
La búsqueda de atención es un rasgo clave de los narcisistas. Because of their low self-esteem, they need constant external validation, and there’s no better place to get it than on social media, which thrives on glorifying an image.
If your partner is presenting themselves in an insincere way designed to give them a certain type of attention, pay attention to other possible signs that you’re dealing with a narcissist.
10. Presumen de hacer algo desinteresado
Being kind should be its own reward, so if your partner does seemingly selfless things only to get recognition and praise, it’s a sign of a less-than-genuine person. This shows that they’re calculated and cold and that they don’t really care about the person or the cause they appear to support, but they’re actually using them. Kindness for personal gain isn’t kindness at all.
11. Nunca publican nada sobre ti
You never feature on your significant other’s social media, but is there a reason to worry? Whether or not it’s a cause for concern depends on the content of their account. If they mostly repost things they find interesting or share links and memes, then it’s okay.
Si publican detalles sobre su vida en sus redes sociales y han compartido especialmente sus relaciones anteriores, entonces su ausencia podría ser un problema unless you’ve specifically decided to have a relación privada.
12. They don’t tag you in pics
Usually the person you’re in a relationship with wants to show you off to the world and let everyone know that you’re together. However, this is another issue that depends on the context and how important it is for the both of you.
As long as you’re both on the same page when it comes to the visibility of your relationship online, you’re good, but if you’re tagging them and they’re not tagging you, it may be a warning sign.
13. Se comunican activamente con un ex
Staying friends with an ex after a breakup is possible for some people, but whether or not that’s all there is isn’t the issue here: la verdadera pregunta es qué opinas de que tu pareja siga en contacto con su ex. If you’re okay with it, then this isn’t a red flag. On the other hand, if they’re doing it even though you dislike it or even behind your back, it’s something to watch out for.
14. Hacen comentarios malintencionados sobre un ex
Ending a bad relationship is a relief, but holding a grudge and clinging to hard feelings even after starting a new one isn’t a good sign. They might have moved on too soon – or haven’t really moved on.
It’s also a peek into your future: if they’re still angry at an ex after enough time has passed that they’re in a new relationship with you, what will it mean if you ever break up with each other?
15. They’re stalking an ex
Following what their ex is up to on social media is a definitive red flag. This means that your partner isn’t over their ex, no matter how much they might be trying to convince you and themselves of it. If they didn’t care about their ex any more, they wouldn’t be interested in what’s going on in their lives.
16. Parece que mantienen sus opciones abiertas
If your partner is keeping dating apps installed and even still talks to people they meet, they’re looking to replace you with a better option.
El objetivo de citas en línea es lo mismo que las citas normales, conocer a alguien con quien puedas tener una relación, por lo que la gente deja de buscar una vez que conoce a una persona que le gusta. If your partner is still looking, it means that they’re not taking your relationship seriously.
17. Their social media activity hints that they’re into someone else
If your partner is invested in another person and their posts more than others, it could be a hint that they’re interested in them. Is there someone they follow and religiously keep up with? Someone whose every post gets a like and a comment, and those comments often have a flirty note? Your significant other might already be a lost cause.
18. Their relationship status isn’t “in a relationship”
They don’t have to explicitly state on their profile that they’re in a relationship if that’s not something that matters to the both of you, but if they’re pretending that they’re single, it’s a red flag for sure. There’s a difference between staying private and hiding.
19. Dejan y reciben comentarios coquetos
If their comments consist of ??️?️?️ emojis and flirty or sexual comments, it might be harmless fun, but usually it isn’t. It’s one thing to post something like this under a picture of a sexy celebrity or in a clearly joking manner, but si flirtean con la misma gente repeatedly and seriously, they’re being disrespectful to you at best and ready to cheat at worst.
20. They don’t follow you or let you follow them
Some couples like to keep certain parts of their lives separate, which is healthy because it’s necessary to stay your own person in a relationship.
On the other hand, insistence on keeping your online life separate is a definite red flag unless it’s something you mutually agreed on. If your significant other doesn’t want you to see what they’re up to or isn’t interested in the things you post, it usually means they have something to hide.
21. They’re hiding your relationship from people who know them
Not telling their family members or friends that you’re together is a symptom of toxic behavior. This is different from being in a private relationship in which you’re not hiding each other, but simply discreción. No dejar que sus seres queridos sepan de ti es una señal de advertencia that your partner doesn’t have good intentions when it comes to you.
22. You find out what they’ve been up to from their social media
Enterarte de que tu pareja está de viaje por una foto en Instagram es chocante. Cuando tu pareja hace publicaciones sobre su vida en las redes sociales y tú solo te enteras entonces, definitivamente tienes problemas de pareja. Puede ser una señal de que tu pareja se está alejando de la relación e intenta crear distancia contigo.
23. Sus fotos sugieren un problema de alcoholismo o drogadicción
If you’ve been dating someone for a while but you still don’t know them that well, noticing that all of their posts include pictures or stories of drinking or doing drugs is a warning sign that they could have a problem. Talking to them about it might prove difficult, so be gentle when you decide to breach this subject.
24. Suelen postear mientras te dejan en read
If you text them and they don’t reply, but you see that they’re active on social media, they can’t be bothered to talk to you or they don’t know how to reply. Either way, they’re choosing not to reply but aren’t trying to hide that they’ve seen your message. Unless you have a relationship in which you don’t insist on immediate replies, it’s likely a sign that they’re losing interest.
25. Sus cuentas son privadas
La transparencia en una relación es necesaria para mantenerla sana. If your partner uses an excuse of having a private account, you can’t help but wonder why the secrecy. There’s something that immediately says shady about having a private account that’s kept locked even from their significant other.
26. Les pillas en una mentira en una foto etiquetada
Catching your significant other somewhere where they weren’t supposed to be because they were tagged in a photo or doing something they swore they weren’t doing is a red flag. Mentir en una relación es a la vez síntoma de problemas y conduce a más problemas. Confronting your partner if they don’t admit that they were lying on their own has a chance of turning into an argument.
27. Siguen muchas cuentas con contenido sexy
If your partner is following one or two accounts that post sexy content, it’s probably harmless. However, there’s a certain limit to the number of accounts where it stops being fun and could be a symptom of a problem.
Cuando tu pareja tiene un feed completo que consiste en nada más que personas que les resultan atractivas, it’s a red flag to watch out for.
28. Les gustan o comentan fotos inapropiadas
Liking or commenting on someone’s overly sexualized pictures or nude selfies then passing it off as not a big deal is a red flag, especially if done repeatedly.
Liking many photos posted by the same person means that they’re trying to establish some kind of contact with them. Liking pictures posted by many people is una señal de que tu pareja está pescando cualquier cosa que pueda picar.
29. Publican detalles sobre su relación
Partners in a healthy relationship should be focused on each other, instead of other people’s impression of how things are going between them. The temptation to let everyone know that you’re a part of a happy couple is understandable, but the decision has to come from both sides. Otherwise, mantén tu relación fuera de las redes sociales.
When one of you shares intimate details of your relationship with the world by posting them online without the other person’s approval, it’s a breach of trust and privacy.
30. Hablan de tus problemas de pareja en las redes sociales
When you’re in a serious relationship, the details should stay only between the people who are involved. Your problems are nobody else’s business because nobody else can understand it the way you do.
Talking to a close friend who’s known the both of you for a while is helpful, but airing your private matters where anyone has access is a mistake. Your partner talking to their followers about your personal problems is a red flag.
31. They’re comparing your relationship to what they see online
Parejas inseguras están obsesionados con presentar una determinada imagen en Internet. Se trata de una selección muy embellecida y comisariada de momentos de sus vidas que nada tiene que ver con la realidad.
Desgraciadamente, estas fantasías pueden parecer bastante reales a personas que están descontentas con su propia vida. If your significant other is comparing your relationship with a fictional one like this, something isn’t working.
32. They’re stalking you
This might be hard to notice because if your significant other is following your activity, they can easily do it anonymously and without showing any signs that they’re doing it. El acoso en las redes sociales incluye conocer todas tus cuentas y prestar atención a todo lo que publicas, te gusta o comentas.
Having any kind of page on the internet means that you’re aware that people will look at it, but following your every move is a red flag.
33. Quieren controlar su cuenta o su actividad
An abusive relationship isn’t only one which involves physical abuse. Control del comportamiento es uno de los signos de abuso emocional, así que if your partner is trying to control what you’re doing online, it could be just the first step in their abusive behavior.
If they’re acting in a similar way in real life as well, take precautions and ask for help if you’re concerned about your safety.
34. They’re checking your followers list
Another sign of manipulative behavior is if your partner demands to know who you’re in touch with. Checking who follows you and whom you follow is out of line.
Jealous behavior like this is a sign that your partner doesn’t trust you and wants to control you and your life. Unless you’ve betrayed them in the past and they’re still learning to trust you again, it says more about your significant other than about your relationship.
35. They ask what you’re doing on your phone or snoop on their own
Curiosity is fine, but nosiness isn’t. Your partner sometimes casually asking you about what you’re looking at on your phone when you laugh at something, is normal, always wanting to know who you’re talking to and what about, is controlling.
Looking through your phone is even worse, especially if they don’t have your permission. It can be a symptom of a toxic relationship.
En resumen
Hay ciertas cosas que los expertos en relaciones llaman "deal-breakers" en una relación: son comportamientos o rasgos con los que te niegas categóricamente a estar de acuerdo, lo que hace imposible una relación con alguien.
Because your deal-breakers can be something so fundamentally obvious to you, you might never state them to your partner, assuming they think the same way. This is why seeing a different side of the person you’re with can sometimes make you realize that they aren’t who you believed they were.
Reconocer las señales de alarma de las redes sociales en las relaciones puede ser útil para detectar posibles problemas en la relación y decidir qué hacer antes de que se agraven y dañen tu salud mental y tu bienestar.
