35 bandiere rosse dei social media nelle relazioni di coppia da cui stare attenti
The good thing about social media is that it allows insight into people in your life you wouldn’t have otherwise. Alcune persone si comportano in modo diverso sui social media rispetto alla vita reale perché separano il loro personaggio online dalla loro vita reale.
In romantic relationships, this can uncover some things that will make you question your choice of significant other. If they post things they wouldn’t say to someone directly, or if they act in a way that they don’t offline, these are social media red flags in relationships.
Qualsiasi coach di relazioni direbbe che questo può causare problemi, perché tutto ciò che viene pubblicato online non è mai veramente sparito. Even if something is deleted, there’s always some evidence somewhere that can lead to discovering a side of your partner that you can’t accept.
Here’s what you should be watching out for.
Bandiere rosse dei social media nelle relazioni
The best relationship advice is that you should always be honest with your significant other – if your partner is doing sketchy things on social media, it’s the exact opposite of that.
If instead of dealing with your problems in private, they’re showing the whole world what’s going on or if they’re flirting with other people hoping you won’t see, you might have a problem.
Cercate queste bandiere rosse dei social media nelle relazioni per sapere a che punto siete.
1. They’re always online
All of us probably spend too much time on social media, but if your partner is chronically online to a point where they get out of touch with reality, it’s a definitive red flag. People who live like this have a completely warped worldview and forget what life among real people is like perché la maggior parte delle loro interazioni sono con persone essenzialmente anonime.
2. They’re on social media a lot even when you’re together
Constantly checking social media accounts even while you’re spending time together could mean that they consider their feed more important than your relationship or have something going on that they prefer to being with you.
Un altro motivo per controllare costantemente il telefono potrebbe essere la dipendenza dai social media: usare i social media per mettere da parte i problemi della vita reale e dimenticarli, invece di risolverli.
3. Hanno più account segreti
Alcune persone hanno più account sulle piattaforme di social media perché li usano per scopi diversi, come ad esempio avere profili privati e aziendali, ma gli account segreti multipli sono una storia diversa. Di solito significa che hanno qualcosa da nascondere, and if it’s your significant other hiding something from you, it’s a definite cause of concern.
4. Scatenano risse online o scrivono post sconclusionati
Most people get into an internet argument at some point, but if your partner has a habit of starting them, it’s a red flag. People who enjoy online trolling and bullying aren’t looking for constructive arguments, but personal satisfaction from defeating their opponent at any cost.
Scrivere post con lo scopo di adescare le persone è forse ancora più problematico perché dimostra la premeditazione e l'intenzione di turbare le persone.
5. Ritwittano persone o post con cui non siete d'accordo
Il gradimento di un post che ti fa storcere il naso una volta può essere trascurato, ma se il vostro partner ama e interagisce spesso con persone e post con cui non siete d'accordo, potrebbe essere una persona diversa da quella che pensavate che fosse. If these opinions are something they know you wouldn’t approve of and they’re hiding them from you on purpose, it indicates an even bigger problem.
6. Pubblicano cose che contrastano con i vostri valori
Se il vostro partner crea post o adotta una personalità su Internet che si scontra direttamente con i vostri valori, si tratta di un serio segnale di allarme per la vostra relazione.
Quando alcuni valori e convinzioni di una persona sono incompatibili, è molto difficile avere una relazione sana. This especially applies if they don’t express such opinions offline and you only learned about them from social media.
7. I loro interessi sono discutibili
The internet is great when you want to explore and learn about things that interest you, but for the same reason it’s also terrible. Unfortunately, it’s easy to find groups centered around certain interests which are immediate major red flags, such as anything involving violence, hate and abuse. If you notice that your partner’s online interests include some of these, be wary.
8. I loro stati e post sono per lo più negativi
If their posts are mostly concerned with how much someone sucks or how much they hate something, it’s a red flag that points to unhappiness with their own self. The danger of being excessively negative on the internet is that it tends to draw in people with similar opinions.
Quando le persone che hanno atteggiamenti simili, pessimistici e ostili, si trovano in rete, tendono a creare un circuito di feedback. – they feed one another’s ideas and escalate them.
9. I loro post sono alla ricerca di attenzione
La ricerca di attenzione è un tratto fondamentale dei narcisisti. Because of their low self-esteem, they need constant external validation, and there’s no better place to get it than on social media, which thrives on glorifying an image.
If your partner is presenting themselves in an insincere way designed to give them a certain type of attention, pay attention to other possible signs that you’re dealing with a narcissist.
10. Si vantano di aver fatto qualcosa di altruistico
Being kind should be its own reward, so if your partner does seemingly selfless things only to get recognition and praise, it’s a sign of a less-than-genuine person. This shows that they’re calculated and cold and that they don’t really care about the person or the cause they appear to support, but they’re actually using them. Kindness for personal gain isn’t kindness at all.
11. Non pubblicano mai nulla su di voi
You never feature on your significant other’s social media, but is there a reason to worry? Whether or not it’s a cause for concern depends on the content of their account. If they mostly repost things they find interesting or share links and memes, then it’s okay.
Se pubblicano dettagli sulla loro vita sui social media e hanno condiviso in particolare le loro precedenti relazioni, allora la vostra assenza potrebbe essere un problema unless you’ve specifically decided to have a relazione privata.
12. They don’t tag you in pics
Usually the person you’re in a relationship with wants to show you off to the world and let everyone know that you’re together. However, this is another issue that depends on the context and how important it is for the both of you.
As long as you’re both on the same page when it comes to the visibility of your relationship online, you’re good, but if you’re tagging them and they’re not tagging you, it may be a warning sign.
13. Comunicano attivamente con un ex
Staying friends with an ex after a breakup is possible for some people, but whether or not that’s all there is isn’t the issue here: la vera domanda è cosa ne pensi del fatto che il tuo partner si tenga in contatto con il suo ex. If you’re okay with it, then this isn’t a red flag. On the other hand, if they’re doing it even though you dislike it or even behind your back, it’s something to watch out for.
14. Scrivono post cattivi su un ex
Ending a bad relationship is a relief, but holding a grudge and clinging to hard feelings even after starting a new one isn’t a good sign. They might have moved on too soon – or haven’t really moved on.
It’s also a peek into your future: if they’re still angry at an ex after enough time has passed that they’re in a new relationship with you, what will it mean if you ever break up with each other?
15. They’re stalking an ex
Following what their ex is up to on social media is a definitive red flag. This means that your partner isn’t over their ex, no matter how much they might be trying to convince you and themselves of it. If they didn’t care about their ex any more, they wouldn’t be interested in what’s going on in their lives.
16. Sembra che stiano tenendo aperte le loro opzioni
If your partner is keeping dating apps installed and even still talks to people they meet, they’re looking to replace you with a better option.
Lo scopo di incontri online è lo stesso degli appuntamenti normali, per incontrare qualcuno con cui avere una relazione, quindi le persone smettono di cercare quando incontrano una persona che gli piace. If your partner is still looking, it means that they’re not taking your relationship seriously.
17. Their social media activity hints that they’re into someone else
If your partner is invested in another person and their posts more than others, it could be a hint that they’re interested in them. Is there someone they follow and religiously keep up with? Someone whose every post gets a like and a comment, and those comments often have a flirty note? Your significant other might already be a lost cause.
18. Their relationship status isn’t “in a relationship”
They don’t have to explicitly state on their profile that they’re in a relationship if that’s not something that matters to the both of you, but if they’re pretending that they’re single, it’s a red flag for sure. There’s a difference between staying private and hiding.
19. Lasciano e ricevono commenti flirtanti
If their comments consist of ??️?️?️ emojis and flirty or sexual comments, it might be harmless fun, but usually it isn’t. It’s one thing to post something like this under a picture of a sexy celebrity or in a clearly joking manner, but se flirtano con le stesse persone repeatedly and seriously, they’re being disrespectful to you at best and ready to cheat at worst.
20. They don’t follow you or let you follow them
Some couples like to keep certain parts of their lives separate, which is healthy because it’s necessary to stay your own person in a relationship.
On the other hand, insistence on keeping your online life separate is a definite red flag unless it’s something you mutually agreed on. If your significant other doesn’t want you to see what they’re up to or isn’t interested in the things you post, it usually means they have something to hide.
21. They’re hiding your relationship from people who know them
Not telling their family members or friends that you’re together is a symptom of toxic behavior. This is different from being in a private relationship in which you’re not hiding each other, but simply mantenere la calma. Non far sapere ai propri cari di voi è un segnale di allarme that your partner doesn’t have good intentions when it comes to you.
22. You find out what they’ve been up to from their social media
Apprendere che il vostro partner è in viaggio da una foto su Instagram è scioccante. Quando il vostro partner pubblica post sulla sua vita sui social media e voi lo scoprite solo in quel momento, avete sicuramente dei problemi di relazione. Potrebbe essere un segno che il vostro partner si sta ritirando dalla relazione e sta cercando di creare distanza da voi.
23. Le loro foto suggeriscono un problema di alcolismo o di droga
If you’ve been dating someone for a while but you still don’t know them that well, noticing that all of their posts include pictures or stories of drinking or doing drugs is a warning sign that they could have a problem. Talking to them about it might prove difficult, so be gentle when you decide to breach this subject.
24. Spesso postano lasciandovi in lettura
If you text them and they don’t reply, but you see that they’re active on social media, they can’t be bothered to talk to you or they don’t know how to reply. Either way, they’re choosing not to reply but aren’t trying to hide that they’ve seen your message. Unless you have a relationship in which you don’t insist on immediate replies, it’s likely a sign that they’re losing interest.
25. I loro conti sono privati
La trasparenza in una relazione è necessaria per mantenerla sana. If your partner uses an excuse of having a private account, you can’t help but wonder why the secrecy. There’s something that immediately says shady about having a private account that’s kept locked even from their significant other.
26. Li cogliete in una menzogna su una foto con tag
Catching your significant other somewhere where they weren’t supposed to be because they were tagged in a photo or doing something they swore they weren’t doing is a red flag. Mentire in una relazione è sia un sintomo di problemi che porta ad altri problemi.. Confronting your partner if they don’t admit that they were lying on their own has a chance of turning into an argument.
27. Seguono molti account con contenuti sexy
If your partner is following one or two accounts that post sexy content, it’s probably harmless. However, there’s a certain limit to the number of accounts where it stops being fun and could be a symptom of a problem.
Quando il vostro interlocutore ha un intero feed che consiste solo di persone che trovano attraenti, it’s a red flag to watch out for.
28. Apprezzano o commentano immagini inappropriate
Liking or commenting on someone’s overly sexualized pictures or nude selfies then passing it off as not a big deal is a red flag, especially if done repeatedly.
Liking many photos posted by the same person means that they’re trying to establish some kind of contact with them. Liking pictures posted by many people is un segno che il vostro interlocutore sta pescando qualsiasi cosa possa abboccare.
29. Pubblicano dettagli sulla vostra relazione
Partners in a healthy relationship should be focused on each other, instead of other people’s impression of how things are going between them. The temptation to let everyone know that you’re a part of a happy couple is understandable, but the decision has to come from both sides. Otherwise, tenere la vostra relazione lontana dai social media.
When one of you shares intimate details of your relationship with the world by posting them online without the other person’s approval, it’s a breach of trust and privacy.
30. Parlano dei vostri problemi di coppia sui social media
When you’re in a serious relationship, the details should stay only between the people who are involved. Your problems are nobody else’s business because nobody else can understand it the way you do.
Talking to a close friend who’s known the both of you for a while is helpful, but airing your private matters where anyone has access is a mistake. Your partner talking to their followers about your personal problems is a red flag.
31. They’re comparing your relationship to what they see online
Coppie insicure sono ossessionati dal presentare una certa immagine online. Si tratta di una selezione altamente abbellita e curata di momenti della loro vita che non ha nulla a che fare con la realtà.
Purtroppo, Queste fantasie possono sembrare abbastanza reali a chi è insoddisfatto della propria vita. If your significant other is comparing your relationship with a fictional one like this, something isn’t working.
32. They’re stalking you
This might be hard to notice because if your significant other is following your activity, they can easily do it anonymously and without showing any signs that they’re doing it. Lo stalking sui social media comprende la conoscenza di tutti i vostri account e l'attenzione a tutto ciò che postate, mettete like o commentate.
Having any kind of page on the internet means that you’re aware that people will look at it, but following your every move is a red flag.
33. Vogliono controllare il vostro conto o la vostra attività
An abusive relationship isn’t only one which involves physical abuse. Controllo del comportamento è uno dei segni di abuso emotivo, quindi if your partner is trying to control what you’re doing online, it could be just the first step in their abusive behavior.
If they’re acting in a similar way in real life as well, take precautions and ask for help if you’re concerned about your safety.
34. They’re checking your followers list
Another sign of manipulative behavior is if your partner demands to know who you’re in touch with. Checking who follows you and whom you follow is out of line.
Jealous behavior like this is a sign that your partner doesn’t trust you and wants to control you and your life. Unless you’ve betrayed them in the past and they’re still learning to trust you again, it says more about your significant other than about your relationship.
35. They ask what you’re doing on your phone or snoop on their own
Curiosity is fine, but nosiness isn’t. Your partner sometimes casually asking you about what you’re looking at on your phone when you laugh at something, is normal, always wanting to know who you’re talking to and what about, is controlling.
Looking through your phone is even worse, especially if they don’t have your permission. It can be a symptom of a toxic relationship.
In sintesi
Ci sono alcune cose che gli esperti di relazioni chiamano "deal-breaker" in una relazione: sono comportamenti o tratti che si rifiutano categoricamente di condividere, rendendo impossibile una relazione con qualcuno.
Because your deal-breakers can be something so fundamentally obvious to you, you might never state them to your partner, assuming they think the same way. This is why seeing a different side of the person you’re with can sometimes make you realize that they aren’t who you believed they were.
Riconoscere le bandiere rosse dei social media nelle relazioni di coppia può essere utile per individuare eventuali problemi relazionali e decidere cosa fare prima che si aggravino e danneggino la vostra salute mentale e il vostro benessere.
