Si le gusto, ¿por qué sigue teniendo citas online? 9 razones comunes
If he likes me, why is he still online dating? I don’t think there is a girl in the world of citas modernas who hasn’t asked herself this question at least once before.
Sé que lo he hecho.
Ya conoce el procedimiento: hay química fuerte. You like him, and you know he likes you. You’ve been dating for a while, but all of his dating profiles are still active.
Según mi experiencia, éstas son las razones más comunes por las que se comporta así.
Si le gusto, ¿por qué sigue teniendo citas online?
Echa un vistazo a estas razones y comprueba si tu hombre cumple alguna de ellas:
1. Mantener abiertas sus opciones
Odio reventarte la burbuja desde el principio: este hombre mantiene abiertos sus perfiles de citas online porque es manteniendo sus opciones abiertas.
I’m not saying he doesn’t like you, but the fact is that he isn’t sure about you.
Does this mean that he’s seeing other girls? Probably yes. I can’t claim this for sure, but he’s definitely texting them. Otherwise, why would he still have all of these dating websites installed?
The harsh truth is that he’s checking to see which girl he likes the most. You’re just one of sus elecciones – not his priority.
If you’re doing the same thing, this shouldn’t bother you too much, especially if you’re in the initial stages of your relationship.
También tienes que darte cuenta de que las citas online pueden ser increíblemente adictivas. Las mejores aplicaciones para ligar están diseñados esencialmente para ser un juego que te haga volver a por más.
If you don’t check the app for a few days you start getting notifications or emails telling you about all the other women you’re missing out on.
This can be really tough for anyone to ignore. If you’re trying to diet but are constantly bombarded by your Instagram feed full of delicious-looking food you might be tempted to look at a few posts!
However, if you’re not keeping your options open, the last thing you need is a guy who can’t make up his mind about you. By accepting this kind of treatment, you’re settling for less.
Después de todo, ¿qué deberías hacer? Sentarte pacientemente y esperar a que escoge tú?
Compete with all these other girls on his dating apps and try to prove to him that you’re the best? No, not if you have any self-respect.
2. Un estímulo para el ego
Si le gusto, ¿por qué sigue con las citas online?? Well, have you ever thought that he’s dealing with some major insecurities, and Bumble, Tinder, OkCupid, Match.com, and other online dating apps serve as an ego boost?
No, this is not me asking you to understand him. You’re a grown woman, and you shouldn’t have to deal with hombres inseguros que tienen problemas para sanar su autoestima de forma saludable.
Permítanme explicarles qué ocurre exactamente. You’re not enough for this guy.
But this doesn’t mean that you, as a person or as a woman, are not enough. Nothing you or anyone else ever does or gives this type of man will ever be enough.
The fact is that he craves attention from a bunch of girls. It doesn’t matter how these women look, behave, or treat him.
If some of them swipe right on Tinder, he’ll think of himself as man enough. He immediately starts feeling better and considers himself more attractive than he actually is.
Emocionalmente inmaduro
¿Esto le convierte en emocionalmente inmaduro? Desde luego.
Tengo que advertirle que este hombre tiene serios problemas para mantenerse fiel. Sí, eso incluye las relaciones serias y el matrimonio también.
He’ll always choose la lujuria a corto plazo por encima del amor a largo plazo. And at this point, it doesn’t even matter si le gustas or not and if you’re in love with him.
The bottom line is that you don’t need a man like this by your side.
3. Un viejo hábito
Let’s not jump to conclusions before checking all options. I’m not here to justify this man, but it’s possible that he isn’t planning to date other women just because he is active on online dating sites.
Bueno, lo que sigues olvidando es que los viejos hábitos son difíciles de perder. Y para él, esto no es más que un hábito.
Yes, the truth is that it’s a habit that affects you badly. But have you ever considered talking to him about it?
Maybe deleting his online dating profiles didn’t even cross his mind. That’s exactly why you should remind him to do so.
But there is something you should pay close attention before deciding whether he’s still on dating apps out of habit or if there is another hidden reason behind it.
¿Pasa tiempo en estas aplicaciones de citas online? ¿O simplemente las tiene instaladas?
If he doesn’t receive notifications when you two are together, if he doesn’t post new pics, and if he’s always offline (even though he’s online on Messenger or WhatsApp), he’s probably forgotten he’s even got them installed.
4. He’s just bored
Let’s give him the benefit of the doubt and assume that he’s just doing it out of boredom. I know what you must be thinking right now: “How can he be bored if he has me?”
You know how you pointlessly scroll through Facebook, Instagram, and other social media? Truth be told, most of the time, you have no idea what you’re looking at because your mind is somewhere else.
Well, that’s exactly what he’s doing with all of these dating websites.
He’s checking whether he’ll find some of his friends, coworkers, or acquaintances there. No, he won’t ask them on a first date – he will maybe tease them a little. In fact, if he runs into his buddies, he’ll probably even make fun of them, and that’s it.
This is another scenario in which you should be open and tell him that you’re bothered that he is still online dating. If a este tipo le gustas, he’ll delete all of his profiles immediately.
5. He doesn’t trust you
Newsflash: women aren’t the only ones who deal with serious trust issues.
Have you ever tried looking at things from a different perspective? Has it ever crossed your mind that your man is still on dating apps because he’s afraid you’ll hurt him?
LOL, that sounds insane, doesn’t it? Well, the truth is that it makes a lot of sense to him.
He’s actually a great guy, and he’s crazy about you. In fact, he’s so in love with you that le asusta.
Así que en lugar de abrirse y llevar su relación al siguiente nivel, su problemas de confianza le están frenando. La conclusión es que espera lo peor de ti.
He is almost sure that you’re going around behind his back, and he is basically trying to beat you to it.
In this case, dating apps serve as a defense mechanism for him. The only way for you to make him delete them is to show him that you’re trustworthy.
6. Malinterpretó sus señales
Okay, this one is a tough one, but I’m sorry, it simply has to be said. You’re asking yourself, “If he likes me, why is he still online dating?” But how are you even so sure that he likes you in the first place?
Is it possible that you misinterpreted his signs? You’re into this man – that’s clear. But does he really feel the same way about you?
¿Alguna vez te pidió salir? Si la respuesta es afirmativa, ¿llegasteis a la segunda cita?
If you’re not sure whether he’s into you or not, there is no shame in asking him directly. Tell him that he’s been sending you mixed signals and that you have no clue if he’s just being nice o si le gustas de verdad.
Even if he gives you an answer you don’t want to hear, at least you’ll know where you stand. It’s much better than leading yourself on.
7. Percibe vuestra relación de forma diferente
You’re craving a committed relationship. But does the guy you like feel the same way?
Don’t get me wrong – there is definitely algún tipo de atracción entre vosotros dos. Pero tal vez en realidad te está enviando señales de que sólo está interesado en ligues casuales?
You enrich his sex life, but he’s not ready to take your relationship to the next level. Yes, he should have been clearer about it, but if you look at his signals close enough, you’ll see that his actions speak louder than words.
Este hombre isn’t interested in an exclusive relationship. When you come to think about it, he never promised you anything – you jumped to conclusions by yourself.
Nunca habló de etiquetar tu relación, e incluso cuando intentas abordar ese tema, lo evita a toda costa.
Whenever you two meet up, he only cares about one thing: physical pleasure. I hate to break it to you, but you’re probably nada más que una llamada de botín.
And there would be nothing wrong with that – if you wanted the same. But the problem is that you two clearly have different aspirations.
He’s obviously a player and not the type of man you’re looking for.
8. He’s emotionally unavailable
If he likes me, why is he still online dating? Another possibility is that, sadly, you’re tratando con un fóbico al compromiso.
This man is quite different from a player. He doesn’t have any intention of jumping from one hook-up to another. Keeping his sex life spicy is not his number one priority.
Sin embargo, no es material novio tampoco. Este tipo tiene miedo de las relaciones serias.
He was probably hurt in the past, or he just values his independence. He’s emotionally unavailable.
En cuanto empieza a enamorarse, intenta huir.
And that’s exactly what happened with you. He’s fallen head over heels for you.
Pero aún no está dispuesto a admitirlo.
So, he is still active on dating apps just to prove a point to himself. He won’t ask any of these girls on a first date, let alone initiate something more with them.
Online dating sites keep him convinced that he is a single man and that you haven’t succeeded in caging him!
9. Prefiere la vida en línea a la vida real
Modern dating wouldn’t exist without social media, dating sites, and platforms. And yes, looking from one point of view, they really do make dating a lot easier.
Sin embargo, Algunas personas se ven tan envueltas en el mundo online que pierden la capacidad de funcionar en la vida real. Si tu chico es uno de ellos, siento decírtelo, pero nunca borrará sus aplicaciones de citas.
He’s addicted to online dating, and he won’t heal from it overnight. He’s not interested in going out or hanging out with his friends to meet new people.
He’s replaced clubs, restaurants, hobbies, and his entire social life with the online world. You don’t have to worry about him cheating when he goes out, but you definitely should be worried about the girls on his phone!
Véase también: 21 tipos de chicos de citas en línea para evitar y tener cuidado con
¿Qué hacer al respecto?
Now that you got the answer to the question, “If he likes me, why is he still online dating?” it’s time to do something about your problem!
1. Averigüe lo que quiere
Before you act on this issue, you have to know what it is that you want. Why are you actually bothered by your man’s online activities?
Are you scared that he’ll date other women? Are you jealous because you care about him or because his behavior hurts your ego?
¿Quieres una relación comprometida o te gustan las aventuras?
Maybe you want to keep your options open as well. Maybe you’re not sure whether he’s the one you should settle with. In that case, you’re both on the same page, and there is absolutely no problem.
No obstante, si quieres algo más, debes seguir los siguientes pasos.
2. ¿Tienes derecho a quejarte?
You won’t like this, but you have to ask yourself if you have the right to complain before actually complaining. Pero, por favor, olvídate aquí de tus deseos y mira tu relación de la forma más realista posible.
As much as you’d like to, you can’t sleep with a guy once and call him the next day demanding exclusivity and asking him to delete Tinder or any other dating website he is on.
I’m not saying that you should wait ages before you do so, but you have to ask yourself if he’s given you any reason to think that he likes you for real.
3. Hable con él directamente
Once you’ve established this, it’s time to talk to him straightforwardly. Look, your man is not a mind reader.
I know you’d want him to delete these apps by himself, but honey, most men don’t work like that. Sometimes, they need to be explicitly told what is expected of them.
Por eso hay que dile cómo te sientes. Tell him that his apps make you feel insecure and that you feel like he doesn’t respect you enough.
Be honest and don’t play any mind games because that approach might backfire on you.
The “what are we?” talk
Nevertheless, you have to be ready for this conversation to be followed by the infamous “what are we?” talk. It’s natural that you’ll tackle the issue of your relationship and finally decide where you stand.
Don’t avoid this talk, and don’t be afraid that it will make you look desperate. You’re a woman who knows what she wants, and it’s finally time he realizes this as well.
4. Catfish él
¿Y si acepta iniciar un relación comprometida¿pero sigue activo en sitios de citas en línea?
Vale, este no es el consejo más sano posible. Y sé que te dije que no jugaras, pero a veces, tiempos desesperados requieren medidas desesperadas.
If you don’t know what your guy is doing on all those dating sites, make a fake profile. Or just ask a close friend to get in touch with your guy.
I bet he’ll act as if he were single. This way, you’ll have proof that he’s lying to you.
Just a heads up: this is only a good idea if you are really leaving him! You can’t show up with a bunch of screenshots just to end up forgiving him.
Véase también: ¿Por qué los chicos son groseros cuando les gustas? (11 Razones +Consejos)
¿Cómo saber si le gustas de verdad a un chico?
Éstas son algunas de las señales más comunes de que un chico online está realmente interesado en ti:
1. Te manda mensajes todo el tiempo.
2. Inicia la conversación.
3. You don’t have to wait for his reply.
4. Te pide una primera cita.
¿Cuándo debe eliminar su perfil de citas?
Un hombre debería borrar sus perfiles de citas en el momento en que empieza una relación seria. Ideally, he shouldn’t wait for his girlfriend to nag about it, but he should do it himself.
Para terminar:
Instead of asking yourself, “If he likes me, why is he still online dating?” why don’t you ask yourself, ¿Qué hago todavía con este hombre? Don’t ever give more than you receive, and don’t settle for less ¡de lo que te mereces!
I know you’re tired of looking for the one, but trust me, it’s way better to ser soltero que estar con alguien que sólo te trata como una de sus opciones.
I’m not telling you to leave right away. But if he continues spending time on online dating sites even though you specifically ask him not to, it’s more than clear that he doesn’t care about you enough!
