¿Te sientes poco querido? Estas son las posibles razones y cómo cambiarlas

Feeling unloved and unappreciated? The first thing you need to know is that you’re definitely not alone. And secondly, there is an array of possible reasons behind it.

Ser amado consiste tanto en dar amor como en recibirlo. Y cuando sientas que tus familiares y seres queridos te han abandonado, hay ciertas cosas que debes entender primero.

El amor incondicional es un sentimiento que hay que expresar, sentir y recibir abiertamente. A menudo, las personas no pueden ver el amor que les rodea. debido a su estrecha visión de lo que es realmente el amor.

You cannot put your self-worth and self-esteem in someone else’s hands. Those should never be based on how much love you think you’re being given.

El amor se manifiesta en todas las pequeñas cosas que la gente suele dar por sentadas. Un atento mensaje de buenas noches. Un abrazo largo y sincero. Un gesto amable en un momento difícil. Y la lista es interminable.

So if you’re going through a hard time in your marriage (or any other relationship), let’s first examine por qué sigues golpeando paredes de ladrillo antes de aprender cómo para modificarlo.

Véase también: 12 razones por las que un café es la mejor idea para una primera cita

¿De dónde procede este sentimiento de pérdida?

Para ayudarte a mejorar, primero tienes que entender de dónde viene esa sensación de agobio. Hazte estas preguntas y las cosas empezarán a estar mucho más claras.

1. ¿Este sentimiento se dirige a una persona concreta?

This is really important to figure out. Do you feel unloved because a particular person doesn’t love you (or so you think)? Is it a boyfriend/girlfriend or a family member perhaps?

It makes all the difference whether you feel unloved by one individual or if it’s a general feeling. Think long and hard to where it all started.

2. ¿O lo siente en un sentido más general?

Perhaps you feel like nobody supports or cherishes you anymore. You’ve lost all hope that anyone will ever understand you and whomever you turn to, you feel unheard and totally unseen?

This is a much more delicate question that probably stems from a more serious situation. If you want to feel better about yourself, you’re going to have to dig deep.

3. ¿Sientes que todo el mundo en tu vida te ha puesto en pausa?

¿Te ignoran tus seres queridos? ¿Estás aprendiendo por las malas quiénes son tus verdaderos amigos? ¿Te atormenta la duda sobre ti mismo debido a esta constante sensación de temor?

A way to self-improvement is by facing every single brick wall you’ve stumbled into and being brave in stating how you feel.

With a “me first” attitude, you will see who doesn’t deserve you and who will still make an effort despite your current struggles.

Véase también: 10 señales honestas de que estás casado pero enamorado de otra persona

4. Maybe you’re feeling completely misunderstood?

Right now, there isn’t a single person who genuinely understands what you’re going through. And because of this, you’re wondering if trying is even worth it.

Pero déjame decirte algo. Si quieres que la gente te entienda, tienes que hablar claro.

A menudo, esto puede ser el resultado directo de un pequeño malentendido que se convierte en algo mucho mayor, porque nadie está dispuesto a intentarlo desde el principio.

5. ¿Te has dejado llevar por tus inseguridades?

Nos pasa a todos. Nos convencemos de que no somos dignos de amor, lo que nos conduce a sentimientos de aislamiento y alienación. ¿Quizás sea algo totalmente autoinfligido?

Consider how much self-love you let in and you’ll understand how intertwined it all is.

You subconsciously chase people away when you feel like you don’t deserve their love. This is something you can easily work out without professional help.

6. And finally – do you feel completely and utterly unlovable?

There are people who don’t share the deep pain they’re feeling because of fear it will make them seem even more complex. If you’re one of those individuals who feel 100% unlovable, you’re not alone.

Hay muchos que sienten lo mismo que tú, y la mayoría de las veces se dejan llevar por la sensación, sin intentar siquiera llegar al fondo de la cuestión.

But there is always a solution, no matter how deep your pit seems. Don’t think you’re a lost cause just because you’ve decided that you are.

Here’s where you stand:

If you’ve found yourself in questions 1, 3, or 5, the issue is self-inflicted. And if the questions 2, 4, and 6 have resonated with you, your best bet is to turn to a close loved one.

¿Tal vez su pareja, su hermano o su mejor amigo?

If you’re experiencing this feeling of loss because the love you’re receiving doesn’t coincide with your presumptions about what love should be, it’s something you definitely need to work on.

This is not personal; it’s an inner issue that you need to work out yourself. Expand your horizons when it comes to love and start seeing all the little ways it surrounds you without you recognizing it.

Often it happens that we don’t see love when it’s staring us right in the face. Don’t let your negativity or grand expectations ruin you for love.

Sentirse poco querido porque has dejado de ver este mundo como un lugar esperanzador es un asunto más serio. Las personas que se sienten indignas y poco queridas suelen luchar contra problemas más profundos que reprimen.

Leading a hopeless life and never allowing yourself to feel what you most certainly can feel will have serious consequences on your later life. There is hope for everyone – including you.

Véase también: 9 señales de que estás en una relación de pareja poderosa

Let’s Examine All The Little Ways In Which People Show Love

There’s a chance that this is all just in your head. People express love in ways that aren’t as obvious, but they’re just as deep and genuine.

He aquí todas las formas en que tu pareja o cualquier otro ser querido te demuestra que se preocupa por ti, y que puede que hayas pasado por alto.

1. It’s always the little things…

I know you’ve probably heard this a million times and are slowly getting tired of it. But do you know what? It’s the absolute truth.

Los pequeños detalles son siempre los que más rompen las relaciones íntimas. Lo sé a ciencia cierta, ya que son las que más me han ayudado a descubrir quién me cubre las espaldas.

Darte la mitad de su bocadillo en un largo viaje por carretera sin supermercado a la vista es amor.

Picking up your dry cleaning that you can’t as your day is extremely long – that’s love. Letting you choose a rom-com for the tenth night in a row is love.

Open your eyes and start seeing the love you’re surrounded with. Remember – love is about actions, not words!

2. Cuando encuentran tiempo para ti, aunque sepas lo ajetreados que son sus días

La gente está muy ocupada con sus vidas personales, carreras, familias, amigos y aficiones, y es casi imposible encontrar una hora para uno mismo.

And yet, when someone manages to make time to be there for you, you don’t truly appreciate it.

Do you know how easy it is to just say no as they’re super busy?

But they don’t. They move things around and they give you the time of day. Recognize these gems of humans and value them!

Sabrás quién te cubre las espaldas cuando empieces a darte cuenta de que hay personas que siempre estarán demasiado ocupadas, pero hay otras cuyo tiempo siempre está a tu disposición.

Don’t take that for granted. Don’t think for a second you’re unloved. That’s pure love.

Los que se preocupan siempre sacan tiempo. Reconócelo, aprécialo y no vuelvas a pasarlo por alto.

3. When they listen in order to understand where you’re coming from

People will pretend to listen, but do they really? Heck, anybody can say ”You’ve got my full attention, fire away!” then scroll through their social media feed and browse around. That’s not listening.

Listening is giving you their full attention and making an actual effort to comprehend your stance. Listening is having a conversation in order to improve what’s getting lost in translation.

It’s hard to explain yourself sometimes. But if there is somebody out there who keeps making efforts to hear you and acknowledge you, you are loved.

They don’t have to say ”I love you” in order for it to be true. If they are simply present, that’s what counts!

Véase también: ¿Cómo generar confianza en una relación? Estrategias sencillas pero eficaces

4. When they don’t minimize your issues

There will be people who are always going to have it worse than you. If you’re sick and poorly, they’ll be much worse.

If you’re having a hard time at work, theirs will be even worse. If your family is a bit distant, theirs will have renounced them.

You get the gist. And with those people, you’ll never win. Not that there’s any winning when dealing with problems.

If you have people in your life who don’t make you feel crazy for dealing with issues, you are loved. If there are people who take your mental illness (if you’re struggling with one) seriously, you are loved.

If you’ve got people who’ll offer their help without cheesy lines or half-assed efforts, you are very much loved.

Las personas que quieren ayudarte de verdad, que se preocupan por tus problemas y aparecen constantemente por ti son joyas.

Considera esto antes de diagnosticarte a ti mismo como no querible.

5. Cuando dejan todo por ti

If you have someone who’ll drop whatever they’re doing (cooking lunch, playing video games, relaxing after a long day) the minute you call them up, that is priceless.

People don’t really appreciate somebody’s time and effort until they’re gone. Don’t let yourself lose a great human being by not seeing everything they do for you.

I was involved with a toxic narcissist a few years back, who wouldn’t take out the trash or wash the dishes if my life depended on it.

If I called him in an emergency, there was always an excuse as to why he can’t be there.

It was dreadful and naturally, I had to break up with him. And ever since, I’ve learned to appreciate everyone who gives me their time selflessly.

A veces, estas cosas se aprenden por las malas, pero nunca hay que cerrar los ojos ante las personas auténticas. Son demasiado escasas.

People show love in subtle ways we don’t always see.

Sentirse poco querido a veces está más relacionado con cómo te percibes a ti mismo que con cómo te tratan los demás.

There are genuine, yet subtle ways that love comes your way. Don’t let yourself get too sidetracked and risk losing it.

People have their own lives and responsibilities. It’s not always easy making yourself available at every hour of the day.

Pero los que siempre se esfuerzan por tender la mano y ofrecer su ayuda merecen la pena a largo plazo.

It’s not your fault when people disappoint you. That’s on them! But don’t let one or two negative experiences make you believe that you’re unloved – or worse off, unlovable.

Una buena relación (ya sea con tu pareja, un amigo o un hermano) consiste en intentarlo y esforzarse incluso en los momentos difíciles.

Don’t be the first one to give up on yourself if there are people who still care.

Think about it. If in this world filled with bad people and bad things happening every day, you still have someone who shows up, don’t you owe it to yourself to appreciate and hold onto them?

Véase también: Superar el desamor: 16 consejos para sanar el corazón

¿Cómo puedes empezar a sentirte mejor contigo mismo?

It’s okay if you’re still feeling a bit lost and perplexed. This is a lot of information to take on, so take your time.

I’m certain you’ve been able to see that there es alguien ahí fuera que se preocupa de verdad. Y esto mejorará las cosas exponencialmente.

1. Aprende a apreciar los pequeños gestos amables de la gente

Encuentra el amor y la felicidad y las pequeñas cosas que te rodean cada día.

Una simple sonrisa de un desconocido en la calle puede llegar muy lejos. Un cumplido sincero sobre tu trabajo/esfuerzo te da un motivo para sentirte orgulloso.

Look around you. There will ALWAYS be something to be negative about, and I get that. But in the midst of all the negativity, it’s more important than ever to uncover the little positive things.

I promise you, once you start really looking at those around you and hearing them, you’ll see that you’re much more loved than you think.

People do small acts of kindness all the time – you just have to want to see them.

2. Empieza a priorizarte

Putting yourself first is a necessity. It isn’t selfish, it’s something you need to do if you ever expect to be loved properly.

Deja de hacer cosas por los demás y empieza a hacer cosas por ti mismo. Deja de intentar complacer a todos los que te rodean y empieza a pensar en lo que te hace feliz a TI.

Don’t tend to others’ needs and forget about yourself in the process. You are SO important, and your mental health is too!

Feeling unloved sucks, but not loving yourself is even worse! Maybe if you showed yourself some self-love, you’d finally start allowing yourself to feel the love from others too.

3. Don’t take it personally when people disappoint you

Oftentimes, people struggle internally, which translates onto their behavior toward others. Yeah, people will let you down. That’s just a reality that everyone goes through.

But what matters is not to take it personally. It’s on them, not you. Pick yourself up, and move forward. Shitty people are everywhere, and the only way around is by forgetting you ever knew them.

It will hurt and definitely make you feel a little sad. But in a few weeks, you’ll be as good as new, finally realizing how much better off you are without them.

And they’ll still be the same toxic person, disappointing others left and right.

Tu autoestima depende de cuánto te aprecies a ti mismo, no de cuánto amor recibas de la gente equivocada.

4. Stop looking for love in places you’ll never receive it

We’ve all done it. We’ve all looked for love in the wrong places, in hopes of finding our happily-ever-after. And most of the time, quite unsuccessfully.

And the solution? Stop going for love where you’ve been burned already!

I know it’s hard, but look for love in new places that haven’t already disappointed you. Turn over a new leaf and start giving people chances to surprise you.

You’ll never find your happy place where you’ve already been disappointed. Check that off your list and move in a new direction.

Sure, it’s daunting, but happiness is often found in the most unexpected places!

5. Dar amor desinteresadamente y sin expectativas

Love is selfless. It’s not something you give in order to feel better about yourself. Learn to give love without expecting anything in return.

Do some good without needing anyone’s validation and praise. This will help you feel much better about yourself internally and you’ll start to see the real beauty of love.

Give and you shall receive! Show love and you’ll be loved back! The right people will always find you. If they haven’t, they don’t belong in your life.

In my own experience, I feel much better when I’m able to provide someone with a glimmer of hope or affection when I know they need it the most. That’s what feeds my soul.

Intenta devolver sin esperar nada a cambio. La sensación no tiene precio y, sinceramente, lo relativiza todo.

La gente amable gravita hacia la gente amable. Sé una buena persona y el bien te encontrará de vuelta.

Véase también: Choose Kindness – You Never Know What Someone Is Going Through

Para llevar

Feeling unloved is an internal feeling that should never be played down. But at the same time, it’s necessary to look at it from other perspectives in order to find a way out.

It’s okay to feel down. It’s okay to have your off days. But never think that there’s something wrong with you if somebody can’t treat you right.

Espero que mis directrices te hayan ayudado a ver cuál es el verdadero problema y cómo solucionarlo a largo plazo.

Love is everywhere around you. You can see it in a stranger’s smile, your partner’s unexpected warm hug, your sister’s kind gesture, or your mom’s unwavering support.

Weed out the wrong people, focus on those few genuine souls in your life, and shrug off those who can’t love you.

Conviértete en tu prioridad número uno, ¡y verás qué rápido empiezan a cambiar las cosas! Cuando aprendas el poder del amor propio, nada volverá a ser igual.