Sólo quiero que me quieran: 11 sorprendentes razones por las que ansías el amor
Sólo quiero que me quieran. At first glance, there’s nothing unusual about this notion. But when you take a second look, a lot can be uncovered.
No todo el mundo puede vivir un cuento de hadas amar la vida. Para algunos, el amor romántico deja mucho que desear. Y este artículo es para todos aquellos a los que les cuesta encontrar a esa persona con la que pasar su vida eterna.
The first thing I want you to know is that there’s nothing wrong with being desperate for love. At the end of the day, isn’t that the entire purpose of our existence?
No matter what anyone tells you, don’t beat yourself up for being a little bit lost. Just because you find yourself thinking: Sólo quiero que me quieran quite often, doesn’t mean you’ll never find it.
At this point, you’re probably done wasting time on social media, dating sites, scrolling through lovey-dovey Tumblr memes, and listening to podcasts that just won’t shut up about encontrar al elegido.
It seems like all your close friends and family members have their love lives figured out. But let me tell you something…
There are lots of terrible things in this world, but not having a loved one isn’t one of them. Se trata sólo de un contratiempo temporal que puedes solucionar fácilmente.
There are numerous possible reasons why you’re feeling particularly impatient for that all-encompassing love right now.
Below, I’ll reveal all about them and how you can open your heart to finding the kind of love you deserve.
ESTA es la razón por la que te duele tanto el amor
¿Alguna vez se ha preguntado por qué a veces se siente tan ansioso y desesperado de amor y afecto? Las razones podrían sorprenderte.
You’ve set the bar way too high
Don’t beat yourself up about this. We all expect a lot from love, even though it doesn’t always work out the way we envisage it.
What’s important to take away from this is the following: By having your bar set so high, you chase away all the potential love interests that might be good for you.
You’re not going to find a person who checks all your boxes. That’s just not real life. Pero puedes encontrar a alguien que se esfuerce cada día, a pesar de tener defectos (como el resto de nosotros).
You’re feeling super anxious and desperate for love right now because you haven’t given yourself a chance to experience it. Lower the bar (just a little bit) and see what’s out there.
Estar soltero durante un minuto caliente te ha hecho sentir poco querido
No haber tenido pareja durante un tiempo ha sido arruinando tu salud mental. It has made you feel as if there’s something about you that screams ‘unlovable.’
Quítate esta idea de la cabeza. La cantidad de tiempo que pases soltero o soltera no tiene nada que ver con que no seas adorable.
Sometimes, things just pan out that way. But you can’t let this affect your view of yourself. You’re most probably a great person with a stroke of bad luck. That’s all.
Véase también: 9 estereotipos sobre las mujeres solteras que deben desaparecer de inmediato
Pasas tiempo con personas que no te quieren
Estar rodeado de narcisismo puede hacerte sentir decaído. ¿Alguna vez te has parado a mirar a tu alrededor?
Con quién te rodeas te afecta más de lo que crees. No dejes que personas narcisistas y tóxicas se acerquen a ti y te llenen la cabeza con su lógica retorcida.
Sólo debes pasar tiempo con personas que te aprecien, te animen y te quieran tal y como eres. Los demás se merecen la patada.
Ver películas románticas te ha creado expectativas poco realistas
Ever since you were a little girl, you’ve been dreaming about that seemingly perfect movie love. But movies are not real life.
While it’s understandable that a young girl would idealize and romanticize love, it’s time to face reality as a grown-up.
You’re not going to find your Prince Charming, who’ll knock you off your feet and take you to his kingdom where you’ll live happily-ever-after.
Las películas son un gran escape de la vida real, no un sustituto de uno. Atraparte a ti mismo pensando desesperadamente: Sólo quiero que me quieran podría tener algo que ver con esta ilusión autoinfligida.
You’re jealous of the “perfect” social media couples
The first time you see the #couplegoals hashtag (and others like this trend), naturally, you’re going to start feeling jealous.
But with time, hopefully, you’ll understand that redes sociales is just that. It’s not anyone’s reality. Sure, those couples might be genuinely happy at that moment in time.
Pero, ¿piensa sinceramente que las cosas son siempre perfectas? Ni mucho menos. La gente sólo publica lo que quiere que veas.
You can’t shake the feeling of desperation and hopelessness
I get it. There were times when I was single for a bit where I’d think to myself: I just want to use your love tonight…
And when I’d realize that it’s not going to happen, I’d just fall into a bottomless pit of hopelessness and desperation. While it can be discouraging at times, it’s important to know how to pick yourself up.
Te animo a que leas palabras de empoderamiento a diario si es necesario. Habla con alguien que sepa lo que vales.
Boy George gets you too (If you’re not familiar, play his bop ‘I just wanna be loved,’ ASAP). All joking aside, you’re not going to feel like this forever. Remind yourself of this.
Una ruptura reciente te ha hecho cuestionar tu autoestima
Your ex has filled your mind with self-doubt. That’s what bad break-ups can do to a person. I’ve been there myself.
Para ayudarte a olvidar, te das un atracón de compras en Amazon y participas en sus sorteos, como si los minoristas pudieran ayudar de alguna manera (ya lo he hecho).
But an awesome purchase won’t help you get your self-esteem back. Do you know what will? Realizing that this una persona NO consigue liarte de esta manera.
You’re so much more than what your ex has to say about you. There’s a reason why they’re no longer in your life.
Véase también: Qué hacer al recuperarse de una ruptura: Regla de los 90 días sin contacto
Todos a tu alrededor están demasiado ocupados con sus propias vidas
Da la sensación de que tus amigos íntimos están todos por ahí haciendo lo que les gusta, y los miembros de tu familia tienen sus propias cosas en marcha.
Para colmo, la mayoría de ellas están completamente situadas en su vida amorosa. Naturalmente, esto puede hacer que te sientas solo y alienado.
There’s nothing like watching your loved ones living their lives to the max, and you’re standing on the sidelines. But to get where they are now, they probably experienced some bad stuff too, right?
Who knows, maybe you’re at a crossroads right now too. You just have to stick it out a bit longer to get through this mess.
You don’t know how to love yourself
¿Cuándo fue la última vez que hizo algo amable por sí mismo? Mejor aún, ¿qué puede you do for you that’ll make you appreciate yourself more?
The love in your life starts with loving yourself. You cannot be self-deprecating and then wonder why you’re no amado.
Sé el primero en ofrecerte amor en abundancia. Haz las cosas que te hacen feliz. Date cuenta de la increíble importancia del amor propio.
Once you do, I promise, what’s ahead will no longer seem so gloomy and dark.
Echas de menos el afecto físico
Esto es algo con lo que todo el mundo puede identificarse. Tener una relación romántica tiene muchas ventajas.
Algunos de los más importantes son los mimos, besos y abrazos constantes. Tumbarse en el sofá y ver una película mientras tu pareja te coge de la mano o te acaricia el pelo.
Caminar por la calle, sentir tu mano firmemente agarrada por la suya. Pequeñas cosas como esas hacen que la vida parezca mucho mejor.
If you’ve been struggling with thoughts like I just quieren ser amados Últimamente, ésta podría ser la razón. Al fin y al cabo, el afecto físico libera hormonas del bienestar. ¿Cómo no echarlo de menos?
Tienes mucho amor que dar y ningún sitio donde concentrarlo
Es uno de los peores sentimientos que existen. Tienes tanto amor que dar, pero nadie a quien dárselo.
After having been through so many trials and tribulations and working hard at learning to love yourself, you’re left all alone. But don’t let this discourage you.
El amor llega en los momentos más inesperados. Puede que hoy te sientas deprimido y poco querido, pero mañana las cosas pueden mejorar. And that’s the beauty of life.
You never really know what it has in store for you. To think that it’s always going to be like this is foolish. Don’t lose faith in yourself and all the love you have to give.
I don’t know when, but one day, this is all going to be but a memory that will fizzle out as you’re drinking your morning coffee with the love of your life.
5 consejos útiles para abrir el corazón al amor
You can’t wave a magic wand and have the love of your life appear on your doorstep. But you can make a continuous effort that will give you the necessary tools for finding them.
Permítase ser vulnerable
Las (no tan) pequeñas cosas, como ser vulnerable, pueden ayudarte a crear vínculos más profundos con tus seres queridos (y futuros amantes potenciales).
Let your vulnerabilities out in the open. This is the only way to attract someone and get them to like you. Why? Because it’s the only way they can meet the real you.
People go through an array of emotions throughout their lives. You cannot close yourself off from everyone and wonder why you’re so alone.
Show them you’re ready to open up. Vulnerability and transparency are attractive. Putting up walls isn’t.
Learn to be happy on your own before finding a partner who’ll add to it
One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is that if you’re not happy alone, you’re not going to be happy with someone else.
As I’ve already mentioned, love comes from within. Quiérete (con defectos y todo) y aprende a encontrar la felicidad en tu soltería.
No estar atado a otra persona tiene muchas ventajas.
While you’re on the lookout, find yourself in the process. What makes you smile from ear to ear? What do you like to do when you don’t have to consider your partner’s needs?
Do ALL the stuff you normally wouldn’t get to do and see that being on your own is not the end of the world. When you find your happy place alone, then you’re ready to find your bae who’ll only add to it.
Véase también: Reto de 30 días de amor propio: conviértete en la mejor versión de ti mismo
Change your beliefs about what love is “supposed to be”
Deja ir todas tus nociones idealizadas de lo que es el amor debe be, and understand what it really is: compromise, sacrifice, moodiness, and picking up your partner’s slack when they’re at 20%.
Love is never going to be roses and butterflies 24/7, and as long as you keep expecting it to be, you’ll always remain utterly disappointed.
There will be happy days, sad days, confusing days, and moments when you’ll want to strangle them (not really, though).
That’s love in all its messy glory; lo bueno, lo malo y lo feo de todo ello.
DEJA de dejar que los demás dicten cómo te sientes contigo mismo
Or should I be more precise–stop letting a disgruntled ex make you think you’re not enough. You’ve broken up for a reason.
It’s foolish to keep letting someone from your past affect you so badly. Let go of them. They’re no longer a part of your life.
The only thing that matters is how you see yourself, as well as those who know you best. Everyone else doesn’t get to have a say.
¿Cómo podrían? They don’t know you well enough for their opinion to matter.
Surround yourself with a small circle of people who uplift you, and watch your life ‘magically’ change for the better.
Don’t model your love life after others’ (everyone has their struggles)
Deja de mirar las publicaciones de las redes sociales y de pensar que las cosas son tan perfectas como parecen.
Nada es lo que parece a primera vista. El amor es algo más que una foto de una pareja feliz y un hashtag de moda.
Love is everything that the post doesn’t say. Don’t let el síndrome de la hierba más verde arruinarte por amor. Las personas son nunca va a publicar sobre sus luchas. Recuérdalo.
We all have ugly stuff we deal with. Just because it’s not out in the open doesn’t mean it’s not real. Chances are, those happy couples go through the same stuff you do.
The only difference? They never let it show. But hey, now that you know, hopefully, you’ll never let appearances fool you again.
15 I Just Want To Be Loved Citas
1. “To be fully seen by somebody, then, and be loved anyhow–this is a human offering that can border on miraculous.”―Elizabeth Gilbert
2. “My great hope is to laugh as much as I cry; to get my work done and try to love somebody and have the courage to accept the love in return.”―Maya Angelou
3. “There’s nothing stupid about wanting to be loved. Believe me.”―Nina LaCour
4. “He’s not your Prince Charming if he doesn’t make sure you know that you’re his princess.”―Demi Lovato
5. “Seize the moments of happiness, love, and be loved! That is the only reality in the world, all else is folly. It is the one thing we are interested in here.”―Leo Tolstoy
6. “The supreme happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved; loved for ourselves—say rather, loved despite ourselves.”―Victor Hugo
7. “To be deeply loved means a willingness to cut yourself wide open, exposing your vulnerabilities…hopes, hurts, fears and flaws. Hiding behind the highlight reel of who you are, is the real you, and that person is just as worthy of love. There is nothing more terrifying or fulfilling than complete love. It’s worth the risk…Reach for it.”―Jaeda DeWalt
8. “What a grand thing, to be loved! What a grander thing still, to love!”―Victor Hugo
9. “Once someone loves you that much, loves you more than you deserve, you can’t go back to being loved the normal way.”―Tiffany Reisz
10. “When you are loved, you can do anything in creation. When you are loved, there’s no need at all to understand what’s happening, because everything happens within you.”―Paulo Coelho
11. “To be loved and to love takes courage. To be fully seen is incredibly rare and breathtaking. We lower our masks and see a celestial inner being. It is our full self―the supernova as well as the black holes. Our fears and doubts. Our anger and joy…This is love.”―Carolyn Riker
12. “Ultimately, everything we do is merely in hopes of being loved or spreading it.”―Nalini Dhiman
13. “Loving is giving, and being loved is receiving. Loving should not depend on being loved, but to all intents and purposes, your commitment in a relationship is grossly expressed by how much of yourself you share with your partner.”―Olaotan Fawehinmi
14. “Behind every angry soul is a wounded child that just wanted you to love them for who they are.”―Shannon L. Alder
15. “Hope for love, pray for love, wish for love, dream for love but don’t put your life on hold waiting for love.”―Mandy Hale
Véase también: Esperando citas de amor: 130 refranes que demuestran que vale la pena esperar por amor
Al final del día, sólo quiero ser amado también. A todos nos pasa. Pero nunca debes dejar que este sentimiento comprometa tu felicidad.
Hopefully, you’ve pinpointed the reasons for feeling so unloved at the moment. When you learn to encontrar la verdadera felicidad in yourself, you’ll be closer to finding it elsewhere.
En palabras de Paul Pearsall: “Stop looking for love and start showing it.“
