Esto es lo que ocurre cuando un narcisista te abandona

Estar en una relación narcisista es una montaña rusa emocional. En un momento eres la persona más feliz del mundo y al siguiente te sientes como una mierda.

Los narcisistas son brillantes en ese sentido. Le dan la vuelta a tus sentimientos en cuestión de segundos.

Te preguntarás cómo se salen con la suya.

Son expertos en su campo. Utilizan un comportamiento manipulador para controlarte. Utilizan todo tipo de tácticas para jugar con tu mente, para que hagas las cosas a su manera.

Due to their experience, you are completely unaware that you are being manipulated—that and the fact you love that d-bag, so you make excuses for his behavior.

But don’t worry, he knows that you love him and he takes advantage of that. That’s why he has the power to control you the way he does.

It’s easier for you to keep your eyes shut than to admit the truth—he’s a f**king narcissist.

Entonces, ¿qué sucede cuando un narcisista te deja? Hay dos posibles resultados.

La primera es que puede que simplemente se vaya, ignorándote por completo como si no significaras nada para él porque probablemente tenga otra víctima de la que aprovecharse, así que no está preocupado por su bienestar.

Pero a veces puede ir en una dirección completamente diferente, una que nunca esperaste que ocurriera.

Puede que te quiera de vuelta. ¿Alguna vez te has preguntado cómo hacer que un narcisista te quiera de vuelta?

It’s easy—just leave him, and he will be all over you. Then again, who in their right mind would want to go through that hell once again?

But anyway, he’ll probably want you back. Why? That’s the thing about narcissistic people.

They need someone to feed off—their ‘victims’ are like drugs to them. You are their dose of ‘happiness’.

They can’t stand the idea of being alone. If they are alone, they have no one to vent to which makes them frustrated and nervous—just like craving a fix. In other words, they need a dose of you, they need to suck your energy dry to feed their own.

Necesitan destruir una parte de ti para construir una parte de sí mismos.

So, if they’ve been dumped and don’t have a backup plan, an attack plan where only the strongest will survive is on the horizon.

Siéntate y espera a que pase porque te encontrará e intentará manipularte para que vuelvas con él.

He will use his manipulative behavior to seduce you, sweet talk you. You may also hear phrases like: “I can’t live without you,” and he can’t—but not for the reason you might think.

No porque te quiera, sino porque te necesitaDe lo contrario, se secará. Necesita que tu miseria le proporcione felicidad y satisfacción.

Te atraerá a su trampa y en cuanto estés en ella, cambiará drásticamente. Todo ese maltrato, ignorancia y dolor volverán, llamando a tu puerta.

But you know what? You invited them in. You invited HIM. You’ve fallen for his sneaky trick because you didn’t know any better.

Puede que por un segundo te sintieras embriagada por su repentino cambio de actitud. Creíste que se había dado cuenta de dónde se había equivocado y parecía sinceramente arrepentido.

Todo eso no es más que un juego mental para conseguir lo que quiere.

¿Qué ocurre cuando un narcisista te deja y conoces a alguien que te trata como te mereces?

Relacionado: Cómo tratan los narcisistas a sus ex: 12 maneras desvergonzadas

You will…

Siéntete como Alicia en el País de las Maravillas. Every new (usually normal) feeling is strange. You feel like you don’t deserve this. After some time of maltreatment, you got used to it. You got used to feeling subordinate to your partner.

Now that your luck has changed, you don’t know how to deal with it. These new feelings you are experiencing are frightening you because they are not abuse, they are love and you don’t know love.

Duda de su comportamiento. Not a day passes by that you don’t suspect things are going to change—that all this nice behavior is just a facade.

El tipo que te hizo dudar de todos y de todo, al principio actuaba de forma amable y cariñosa. Luego, de repente, todo cambió.

So it’s completely natural for you to think this one is going to do the same. You are just waiting for the storm that will bring dark clouds to your relationship to happen.

You don’t hope for the better because you never saw anything but misery. But this time it’s different. Just wait and see.

Me siento confuso because your voice is finally being heard. There is actually someone by your side who is interested in what you’ve got to say.

No one is ignoring you or shushing you. It’s not easy to switch yourself over to that mode.

Después de tanto tiempo siendo tratada como una mierda, por fin recibirás todo el amor y el respeto que te mereces. A tu nuevo chico le importarán las cosas que tengas que decir porque se preocupa de verdad por ti.

No ser culpado for all the bad stuff that happens in your relationship. You won’t be his punching bag every time he feels like crap. He won’t blame you just because he is unhappy with himself.

Antes, todo lo negativo que ocurría era de alguna manera culpa tuya y, después de algún tiempo, empezaste a creerlo.

De hecho, te culpabas de sus errores y de su comportamiento cruel. Ahora, las cosas no son así.

Now, you’ve met someone who is responsible enough to admit when he is wrong.

He is man enough to own up to his mistakes, and that’s something you thought you were never going to see.

Volver a comprometerse. When a narcissist says something, it’s going to be that way and no other way. You didn’t have the right to propose anything.

Si tenía ganas de hacer algo, había que hacerlo, y nadie te preguntaba nada.

After you’ve set yourself free from this suffocating and destructive relationship, a man who knows how to take your opinion into consideration comes along.

Te enseñará lo que es el compromiso y cómo es una relación sana y feliz, porque nunca tuviste la oportunidad de aprenderlo.

Lo único que aprendiste fue a ignorar los insultos y el dolor que te causaba.

Acostúmbrate a toda la amabilidad. El egoísmo fue lo único que conociste y experimentaste en tu relación anterior. Siempre se trataba de él.

Now, you’ve been introduced to kindness and sharing—it should have been like that from the start.

Puede que te cueste acostumbrarte, pero así es como debería ser el amor. Debería ser una calle de doble sentido y no un callejón sin salida.

Not hear ‘I’ and ‘me’ all the time. Your new boyfriend is well aware of the things you’ve been through but he will never make everything just about him.

He will listen to what you’ve got to say because he genuinely cares about your opinion.

He loves you and he cares about what his better half has got to say, unlike in the past where it was all about one person—the sneaky narcissist.

Hear ‘I’m sorry’. Hasta este punto, el único que se disculpó fuiste tú.

The narcissist made you think you were to blame for everything, so you apologized for everything, all the time—the things that you did and didn’t do because you were afraid of the confrontations and arguments.

Al admitir que hiciste algo mal, esperabas que lo dejara pasar, pero nunca lo hizo.

He dragged you in even deeper. Well, things are different now. You will be left in a state of shock when he apologizes the first time, but it’s true, it’s from the heart.

Real men own up to their mistakes; they don’t hide and blame others like those cowards do.

No dejarse manipular. There is no more of that feeling of accidentally saying something wrong and then BOOM!—a fight breaks out all of a sudden. You can finally relax and trust your partner.

Maybe not at first, but as soon as you realize he’s not like that manipulative piece of s**t, you are going to look at things from a different perspective.

But if you want to do all these things, you have to get rid of the fear and let him find a way to your heart, you have to let him heal you and show you things you haven’t seen thus far.

Por fin te enseñará lo que es el verdadero amor. Amor verdadero se trata de amar a alguien incondicionalmente.

It’s about loving someone with flaws and all. It’s about appreciating someone.

It’s about finding something in that other person that will make you never let go. That person
es el único en el mundo que tiene ese algo y tú lo quieres.

It’s about picking each other up every time you fall down. It’s about supporting your loved one in everything they do.

It’s about respecting each other. It’s about having endless trust in each other.

It’s about compromising and taking each other into consideration.

Ahora tienes todas estas cosas y entonces no tenías ninguna. Tuviste la mala suerte de tropezar con alguien que sólo se preocupaba de sí mismo.

The only thing the two of you had in common was loving the same person—HIM. Todo eso por fin ha desaparecido.