Superar lo desconocido para que tu relación dure

Quizá lo más temido de iniciar una nueva relación sea la inevitabilidad de incertidumbre. And yet it’s a natural part of every relationship, romantic or not, and therefore unavoidable.

If you feel like you need some direct answers as to why you and your partner aren’t gelling, you’re sick of trying to read his mind all the time, or you can’t understand why you two aren’t communicating as you should, you’re certainly not alone.

The question is – how can you get what you need from this connection and from your partner without pulling away? A menudo, cuando nos sentimos frustrados, nos distanciamos sin querer y acabamos hiriendo a la persona que nos importa, quizá de forma permanente.

Si nos sentimos incómodos expresando lo que necesitamos, no hacerlo no es la solución. There are effective ways to manage difficult conversations, so your bond can grow stronger rather than abruptly dissolving. Don’t let doubt take over.

Aprende a ser asertivo sin ser excesivamente agresivo, para que puedas generar confianza en el emparejamiento y resistir incluso en los momentos más difíciles.

Las relaciones, por su propia naturaleza, pueden dar miedo. Pueden provocar una montaña rusa de emociones. El miedo a perder la independencia, a que te rompan el corazón, a perderte a ti mismo o a tu pareja en el proceso, son todos muy reales. Esto se debe a que no puedes controlar a otra persona. Sólo puedes controlarte a ti mismo y a tu parte del todo.

Learning to set boundaries is vital so others understand what you are willing to accept and what you’re not without being too forceful and pushing away.

It’s important to remember that no one, yourself included, is perfect, and you can’t expect to change anyone over time. Never enter into a relationship thinking you’ll be able to “fix” your partner’s flaws and everything will “eventually” be perfect. That’s simply not the case.

If there are things in the very beginning that you would consider to be red flags, walk away. Those things that gave you pause at the start aren’t likely to simply dissipate with time.

Sin embargo, puedes dejar de obsesionarte con lo desconocido mejorando la comunicación, en lugar de alejarte cada vez que percibas malas vibraciones de la otra persona. There may be things that come up which don’t sit well with you but aren’t necessarily significant enough to justify throwing in the towel. These are the things that can improve with healthy interaction.

By learning to stand your ground while being willing to listen to your partner’s side of the story and remaining open to compromise, you can build a solid foundation. This way you’re not always walking away, left alone, trying to figure out when that perfect person might show up.

It’s important to make time for some self-reflection, too. If you are always the one walking away feeling defeated and as if you’ll never find someone who will make you happy, you have to try to understand where this perspective is coming from.

Sea honesto consigo mismo y esté dispuesto a reconocer los patrones poco saludables que puede trabajar para mejorar su vida romántica.

If you’ve recently entered into a new relationship and are having second thoughts, take the time to reflect on your current relationship and what you like and dislike about it. You can ask yourself the following to see if your connection is worth hanging onto or if it’s truly not right for you:

¿Qué siento por esta persona? ¿Me importa de verdad?
¿Soy la persona adecuada para él?
¿Quiero hacerle feliz?
Cuando esta persona es feliz, ¿me hace feliz a mí a cambio?
Do I miss him when he’s gone?
¿Puedo confiar en él?

If you have genuine feelings for this person but are still feeling as if you should walk away, ask yourself what’s missing. What’s lacking? What could be improved?

Si crees que puedes mejorar las cosas comunicándote eficazmente con la otra persona, inténtalo.

If you’re stuck on something that you are not comfortable discussing, is this also something that you can live without? If not, and if your partner cannot offer it to you, maybe it truly is time to move on.

The bottom line is, all relationships take work, and some work better than others. However, you’ll have to stay open and honest with yourself.

If you’re always walking away, wondering when you’ll meet that perfect person who will make you happy indefinitely, is there something about yourself that is causing continual disappointment? A veces lo único que se necesita para entender cómo hacer que una conexión dure es una mayor comprensión de uno mismo.