18 señales de que tu mujer quiere dejarte y cómo salvar tu matrimonio

The moment you start looking for warning signs that your wife wants to leave you, it’s high time to take serious action.

Tu matrimonio aún podría salvarse pero primero, tienes que verlo desde el punto de vista de ella y reflexionar sobre por qué las cosas han empezado a desmoronarse.

Married couples go through so much together so it’s perfectly normal to hit a few bumps.

Después de pasar mucho tiempo juntos constantemente, hay se que haya cierta fricción.

La única pregunta es, ¿se pueden arreglar las cosas después de tantos años de matrimonio o los problemas van demasiado lejos?

Echa un vistazo a las malas señales que indican que tu mujer quiere divorciarse de ti, a los indicios de que estás preparado para dar ese paso y a los consejos para salvar tu matrimonio.

Véase también: ¿Te sientes poco querido? Estas son las posibles razones y cómo cambiarlas

18 señales reveladoras de que su mujer quiere el divorcio

She’s become emotionally detached

Your emotional connection has been severed. You’ve been feeling it for some time now but you’ve been hesitant to face it head-on.

You can’t remember the last time she said Te quiero. Y todos los planes de futuro que esperabas parecen estar en suspenso permanente.

She doesn’t seem interested in sharing any emotional connection with you and there’s an almost palpable wall between you.

¿Lleva demasiado tiempo ignorando las señales de alarma de una ruptura matrimonial? ¿Su mujer se está distanciando de usted día a día?

She doesn’t care about your whereabouts any longer

She used to want to know where you were and when you’d be coming home, which you always saw as a sure sign of her love and devotion.

But lately, she’s been completely uninterested in your whereabouts. It’s as if she loves her alone time too much.

If you stay at home, she gives you no attention and when you leave, she doesn’t care.

And it’s been seriously affecting your mental health. As if searching for signs that your wife wants to leave you isn’t bad enough.

Pero el tratamiento silencioso podría ser realmente el último clavo en el ataúd.

Usted tiene una historia de repetir los mismos temas

You’re not happy to admit it, but you tend to be a bit of a narcissist at times. Your wife pointed it out a few times, but you find it hard to change your ways.

And every time you have an opportunity to show her that you’re willing to work on a healthy relationship, you blow it.

There’s a lack of communication but you don’t really care. She’s been talking about seeing a marriage counselor but you’re not into that either.

It’s like you love your wife but only to a certain extent. If you’re asked to put her first and yourself second, it’s an issue for you.

You can’t remember the last time you spent quality time together

You know that this definitely isn’t a good sign but you can’t seem to be able to change it.

Cada vez que le propones hacer algo juntos, lo cancela en el último momento. Cada vez que intentas hacer algo, se echa atrás.

Lately, it’s all about the kids, work and finances.

You can’t remember why she married you in the first place and after noticing so many common signs of a marriage breakdown, is there hope?

You don’t want to be a skeptic but how can you work on something when she doesn’t want to?

Relacionado: 11 señales de advertencia de que tu ex está poniendo a tu hijo en tu contra

Está constantemente resentida y te critica

Maybe she’s a stay-at-home mom who yearns for some changes and she’s been taking it out on you.

Todas las relaciones duraderas pasan por un bache y, después de quedarse en casa y ocuparse de la casa y de las facturas y de hacer recados constantemente, tal vez ella resienta en secreto que te vayas.

Al fin y al cabo, tú tienes un respiro de ellos, pero ¿qué tiene ella? Tienes que ser capaz de verlo desde su perspectiva.

I can assure you that her constant criticism isn’t unfounded. Ask her openly about it and truly listen to what she has to say.

Ha empezado a esconder su teléfono y su portátil a tu alrededor

Lately, your wife has been extremely secretive. Every time you go near her, she clutches her gadgets as if she’s keeping state secrets on there.

Could she be hiding something? I can’t say for sure but it’s definitely a red flag. All there’s left to do is address it and hope for the best.

You’ve noticed some of her personal belongings are missing

The accessories that she recently ordered from Amazon didn’t arrive at your home address (extraño). Sus cosas, como jarrones, marcos de fotos y joyas ya no están donde normalmente las guarda.

Things have been missing and even though she thinks you haven’t noticed it, you totally have.

You’re dreading what this could mean. You cannot bring yourself to utter the words… but is she making plans for a divorce process?

Could she be moving her stuff away to her new place? There’s only one way to find out.

Rechaza el contacto físico

You haven’t done the deed in way too long. Every time you suggest it, she always has an excuse ready.

Either she has a bad headache or she’s just too tired or there are so many things on her mind that she can’t even think about it now.

Pero todo lo que oyes es no. For a while, you gave her the benefit of the doubt but now, you’re starting to suspect something’s really wrong.

Véase también: Inappropriate Friendships When Married: Are They Really ‘Just Friends’?

You suspect that she’s having an emotional affair

Out of all the signs that your wife wants to leave you, if this one’s true, it’s one that could cause irrevocable damage.

Las aventuras emocionales son las peores. Confiar a otro hombre sus asuntos más íntimos significa que ya no te ve como su confidente más cercano.

You’ve lost that connection you once shared and now you’re a mere stranger in your own home going through an recuperación de la aventura. Pero, ¿puede volver a ser como antes?

Véase también: Esposa lesbiana: 10 signos reveladores de que vives con una lesbiana en el armario

She doesn’t validate your opinions anymore

Your wife doesn’t care about what you have to say; not about your kids, not regarding her work and not regarding anything she used to rely on you for.

You could tell her that you think she looks smashing and she’d be indifferent. She’s stopped taking your opinions into consideration.

She spends all of her time with her girlfriends…

She’s always had a trusted circle of her close friends and you’ve always encouraged her to spend time with them.

You love that she has them to have her back and be there for her, especially when you can’t. But now, she’s been spending the majority of her time with them.

There’s no longer a healthy balance of quality time with her family. Her friends take the top spot and you’re left with crumbs of her attention.

 … and if she’s not with them, she’s at work (more than she has to be)

It’s as if she’s purposely choosing to not spend time with you.

¿Es esta una de las señales más reveladoras de que tu mujer quiere dejarte? Definitivamente podría ser.

If she keeps making decisions that keep her away from you, it’s time to reevaluate your marriage.

It’s not a good sign that her friends and work keep taking all of her attention. Ask yourself this: ¿Cuál puede ser la causa?

Ella ha pasado por un gran cambio recientemente

• Did she lose her job?

La pérdida de un empleo puede haberle hecho reflexionar mucho sobre sus prioridades. Un cambio como éste deja huella y hace que la gente reevalúe su vida.

• Have you recently welcomed a baby?

Having a child is never a saving grace for a marriage. If you’re not rock-solid, don’t expect a baby to help you forge a stronger connection.

It’s only going to create a wedge if things have been on shaky ground.

• Have you moved despite her not wanting to?

Obligar a tu mujer a mudarse a otro lugar a pesar de sus protestas puede ser el punto de inflexión que facilite su decisión de divorciarse de ti.

Puede haber otros problemas subyacentes, pero este fue su punto de ruptura.

• Has she reached new success at work?

Upon experiencing newfound success at work, people’s egos get inflated.

If now she’s making more money, she could be reevaluating if she still needs you to support her. It’s childish but very common.

Véase también: Acepte a las personas por lo que son en lugar de intentar cambiarlas

Cuanto más te acercas, más te aleja.

Esta es otra de las grandes señales de que tu mujer quiere dejarte.

Todos tus avances son rechazados y cuanto más intentas acercarte a ella, más desinteresada se muestra.

It’s as if your wife feels disgusted by your touch and it hurts you on so many levels. You are constantly torn between completely giving up and trying even harder.

You’ve been finding strange documents around your home

¿Está buscando un nuevo lugar para vivir? ¿Podría estar viendo a un agente inmobiliario y tratando de encontrar un nuevo lugar a tus espaldas?

Observe the documents when you’re home alone and Google them if you manage to take a peak. That’ll tell you all you need to know.

She’s been showing an uncharacteristically vast interest in your kids

Spouses who are getting ready to leave make sure to do anything in their power that’ll help them in the custody battle.

This is why your wife has been showing a keen interest in your kids’ extracurricular activities and being very lenient with them.

She’s ‘buying’ their love and attention so as to ensure they want to remain with her in case they get to have a say in the process.

Lucha por luchar

You could literally be sitting on a couch reading a book and she’ll approach you and bite your head off for not doing something else.

It’s like she quiere para buscar pelea. Sigue encontrando razones para discutir, para hacérselo más fácil.

There’s no point in trying to make sense of this.

If your wife is adamant to leave, there’s not much you can do to cambiar de opinión aparte de mantener la cabeza fría y tratar de llegar al fondo de su comportamiento.

Your gut is telling you that something’s seriously off

And finally, you know that you can always trust your gut. No matter the situation or the circumstances, so far, it’s always been right.

And that’s what frightens you. You don’t desea que sea correcto.

You desperately want to wake up next to your wife, having realized that this was all a dream… But it’s all too real.

Your marriage is in shambles and you want to find a way to win your wife back but you’re out of moves.

¿Debería ceder finalmente? ¿Ha llegado el momento de poner fin a tu matrimonio?

Véase también: Romper el estereotipo: La esencia de ser un espíritu libre

¿Cómo puede salvar su matrimonio?

La comunicación es CLAVE, así que sea sincero de corazón a corazón.

I know you’ve probably heard this a million times but it honestly cannot be stressed enough. Communication can make or break you.

At first, it feels as if you can read each other’s minds. You don’t even have to speak and it feels like such a special connection. Telepathy in love, right?

Sin embargo, con el tiempo, esta telepatía se convierte en una molestia. Lo que al principio le atraía de su pareja se convierte poco a poco en lo que causa estragos en su matrimonio.

¿Sabe por qué ocurre esto? Porque ambos se sienten demasiado cómodos en su silencio que comienza a pasar factura a su matrimonio.

Yes, it’s nice that you know how your wife feels without her having to say it but what’s even nicer is approaching her and asking her how she is nevertheless, sitting down next to her and actually listening to her.

Quizá le sorprenda lo que oiga.

So enough with the mind-reading and assuming. Voice your love, opinions and worries. Have heart-to-hearts and don’t ever take your connection for granted.

Trabajar en la resolución de conflictos y aclarar cuestiones urgentes

Mi apuesta es que hay algunos problemas subyacentes que no se están abordando.

By now, you’ve established a lack of communication as one of the signs your wife wants to leave you. Let’s turn the tables.

Quiero que seas el primero en aclarar cualquier preocupación que sospeches que molesta a tu mujer. Demuéstrale que estás dispuesto a afrontar las cosas difíciles.

She needs to know that you won’t keep running away from the pressing issues.

Ningún matrimonio está exento de defectos, así que ponte los pantalones de niño grande y manos a la obra.

Things won’t magically heal overnight; that only happens in movies. But what se happen is you’ll get one step closer to reconciliation.

You’ll start to gain your wife’s trust back and it’ll be a great first step toward a better tomorrow.

Sigue así, no cejes en tu empeño de recuperarla y puede que las cosas salgan bien.

Make sure she knows you’re always available when she’s feeling low

Women need to know they have their partner to rely on at all times. Let’s be honest here; women truly do have it harder.

Who’s more likely to be a stay-at-home parent, you or your wife?

And who’s most probably doing the majority of the household chores? I think we all know the answer to that.

And there are countless little things that I’m not even going to mention here. You know what they are so the least you can do is be her support whenever she needs you.

Recognize when she’s feeling low and be there for as long as she needs you. Even if there’s a big game on.

Even if you’ve made plans with your buddies. Your wife’s needs should trump your little gatherings that can totally be rescheduled.

Do you have any idea how much it’ll mean to her seeing that you chose to stay with her instead of going out with the guys?

These things don’t go unnoticed. And the thing is, you should never do it because you feel obliged to, you should do it because you want to!

Véase también: Formas poderosas de aumentar el amor propio y dejar de sentirse indeseado

Lucha por tu matrimonio y haz de ella tu prioridad

From personal experience, I can honestly tell you that the one thing that really bugs me is when I don’t feel like a priority.

Yes, you’ve made a commitment and yes, you are loyal to her but do you put her before everyone else?

That’s the real question.

Tu mujer es tu compañera en todas las cosas de la vida.

She’s the one who sees you on your good days, loves you on your bad days and sticks around for the unbearable ones.

She’s the one holding your hand when you get bad news. She’s the one bending over backward to make you happy.

¿Y cómo se lo pagas? Sé sincero contigo mismo. ¿La pones a ella primero?

Do you prioritize her over everyone else? She deserves it even when she’s being hormonal and unreasonable.

She deserves it even when she’s yelling at you for the hundredth time to put your plate in the sink.

No matter how hard some days are, she’s always the first one you need to run things by.

If she doesn’t feel prioritized, she will constantly wonder if she’s doing something wrong. No, she’s not. You are. How about changing it?

Encuentre formas de reconectar y reconstruir la confianza en su matrimonio.

When you’re at a crossroads, the thing you need to ask yourself is what you can do to change things for the better. How can you make your wife see that your marriage is worth it?

For starters, start with the small stuff. My guess is, you’ve slowly lost that sparkle and the romance is out the door.

The bond you shared is withering and you need to remind your wife that it’s still there.

Para que esto mejore, tienes que esforzarte de verdad por demostrarle cariño a tu mujer.

Do something you know she’ll appreciate it (after all, you know her best) and go out of your way to make her happy.

It doesn’t have to be a gift or anything material. Do the grocery shopping for her.

Sorpréndela con la casa limpia cuando llegue del gimnasio. Baña a los niños y acuéstalos.

This will show her that she can count on you again. It’ll make her see that she can trust you to have her back.

Y quizá consiga que se sienta apreciada y querida.

It doesn’t take a lot to win back her love. Simply be a loving, caring partner she knows she can depend on.

Concierte una cita semanal y haga que cuente de verdad

Now we’ve got to the good stuff. The honeymoon phase is awesome and everything but after it fades, there has to be a sense of love and commitment or you’ll fall apart.

Don’t stop making time for each other just because you’re no longer the young kids in love from ten years ago.

Todo lo contrario: ¡haga de las citas nocturnas una obligación!

Dedicate every Friday evening (or any day that works for you) to romantic dates. And you can’t flake!

La cuestión es que saques tiempo aunque tus días sean ajetreados.

Newsflash—there will siempre be something in your way but if you really want it, you’re going to make sure that it happens.

And there’s only one rule—no shop talk! En tu caso, nada de hablar de los niños o de sus aficiones, de las tareas domésticas o de las facturas.

Sólo que sean dos personas enamoradas esforzándose para que funcione.

This is your one day a week where everything else doesn’t matter. Make it count!

Aprecia las pequeñas cosas que hace por ti y por tu familia.

She doesn’t have to be a stay-at-home mom for you to appreciate all of her amazing efforts so start letting her know that you don’t take everything she does for granted.

Desde hacer la compra, asegurarse de que los niños están donde tienen que estar, planificar fiestas de cumpleaños, ir a las asociaciones de padres y madres y cualquier otra cosa que se te ocurra.

Empieza a dar las gracias. Empieza a mostrar tu gratitud por un cónyuge tan devoto.

She doesn’t have to be all hands on deck all the time. But she is nevertheless.

Some appreciation really goes a long way because she can easily decide that she doesn’t care anymore.

Puede dejarte a ti toda la toma de decisiones, las recogidas y las compras.

Podría ir a un centro de bienestar con sus hijas y no estar disponible durante todo el fin de semana.

Podría salir de fiesta toda la noche y quedarse en la cama al día siguiente. Pero la cosa es que nunca lo hará.

And now that you’re slowly starting to be aware of the love, devotion and sacrifice she shows every day, I hope you’ll start being mucho más agradecidos.

Asesoramiento matrimonial

It’s crazy to me how marriage counseling is seen as this negative thing. People act as if it means that you’re somehow failing but it’s the opposite!

Acudir a un profesional significa que se está tomando el tiempo necesario para hacer todo lo que esté en su mano para que su matrimonio funcione.

It means you’re far from giving up. When there are signs your wife wants to leave you, this is the thing that could change her mind.

Most men are embarrassed by this notion but if you really love your wife and want her to see that, you’ll go to marriage counseling.

You’ll let a professional help you work out the issues and delve deep into your life.

Once you go, you’ll see what the fuss is all about. Admittedly, I was a bit hesitant before I went for the first time but let me tell you something…

From then on, I haven’t missed a session.

Se ha convertido en una gracia salvadora para mi relación que la ha ayudado en más de un sentido.

So if you are at a crossroads, please, take this next step. I guarantee you that it’ll be the best thing you have ever done for your marriage.

Cuando tu relación merezca la pena, haz lo que sea necesario para salvarla.

Véase también: Reto de 30 días de amor propio: conviértete en la mejor versión de ti mismo

5 señales de que debe seguir adelante con el proceso de divorcio

There’s physical, emotional or verbal violence in your marriage

Hay ciertas cosas que nunca deben pasarse por alto y si uno de los miembros de la pareja ha dado muestras de algún tipo de violencia, la única salida es salir.

Si tú o tu pareja habéis recurrido a la manipulación emocional, a los insultos o, lo que es peor, a la violencia física, por el bien de todos, pon fin a la situación.

Nadie merece sufrir un trato tan horrendo.

En este caso, lo mejor es el divorcio y mantener una distancia prudencial.

Your wife is adamant that she wants a divorce and there’s no changing her mind

Some people simply know what they want. She isn’t confused, perplexed or hesitant about her wishes, she has informed you of what she wants and you can’t change her mind.

In my advice, don’t even try. There is no point trying to salvar un matrimonio with an individual who’s already one foot out the door.

It might seem impossible now but one day, you’ll meet someone who’ll be one hundred percent sure about you and then, you’ll realize how toxic this marriage actually was.

Véase también: Todo lo que debe saber sobre una relación transaccional

Ella se niega a trabajar en sus problemas y usted sigue golpeando una pared de ladrillo

Intentar mantener una conversación con tu mujer es tan inútil como hablar con una pared.

She just doesn’t want to address the circumstances, nor is she interested in hearing you out.

The weirdest thing is that she hasn’t specified that divorcing you is what she wants. All you’ve been able to figure out is her indifference.

And sometimes, that’s exactly what you need to know where you stand.

If she loved you or had any hope that your marriage could be saved, do you really think she’d be acting this way?

No hay respeto mutuo entre ustedes dos

Your wife used to be the one person you had the utmost respect for. Nobody could say anything to change your mind. But now, that’s long gone.

Os decís las peores cosas y tenéis cero respeto por el otro. La persona a la que tenías en tan alta estima ha caído muy bajo en tu mente.

The worst thing is, you don’t even know how it happened.

Acabas de despertar y te has dado cuenta de que tu perspectiva ha cambiado significativamente y ya no la ves de la misma manera.

You’ve both changed in completely different directions

Ya no compartís los mismos valores. La vida os ha llevado por caminos muy distintos (e inesperados), lo que os ha hecho replantearos vuestro matrimonio.

It’s not necessarily that you resent them or hold grudges; you’ve merely come to a realization that you’re no longer the same people you were when you first got married.

It’s extremely difficult to admit this but you both changed and grew apart in the process.

¿Apesta? Profundamente. Pero, ¿debéis ser sinceros el uno con el otro? Al cien por cien.

Staying in a marriage that no longer means what it used to mean is unfair to both of you. People change. That’s just life for you.

If You Don’t Want Your Wife To Leave, You Need To Take Action

Now that you’ve gone through the signs that your wife wants to leave you (and all the ways in which you can stop it), what’s it going to be?

¿Van a enfurruñarse en silencio y dejar que un abogado de divorcios entre en sus vidas o van a hacer algo al respecto?

Yes, there are warning signs of a possible divorce but nothing’s set in stone yet!

Aún puedes asegurarte de que tu mujer se sienta vista, escuchada y amada como se merece.

Marriage problems are anything but rare, so it’s all about pinpointing the issues and actively working on them.

Don’t let your best friend slip away if there’s something you can do about it.

Comunícate ahora más que nunca y demuéstrale que pensabas en serio cada palabra que dijiste en tus votos matrimoniales.

Why? Because, “True love stands by each other’s side on good days and stands closer on bad days.” (Desconocido)