Carta de ruptura al hombre que no quiero dejar marchar

Durante toda mi vida, he sido una chica fuerte y valiente, pero cuando se trata de amor, de alguna manera pierdo totalmente todo mi poder.

Me transformo en una chica que sólo quiere meterse en un agujero y dejar que otro haga el trabajo duro por ella.

And I am not doing that because I am a coward but because I can’t stand watching people while I am telling them things they don’t want to hear.

And that is why I am doing this right now. That is the reason I am writing this letter. I can’t look you in the eye and tell you that I am leaving.

Sé que te sentirías decepcionado, roto y que te derrumbarías. Sé que me rogarías que me quedara contigo, diciéndome que cambiarías.

Sé que volverás a decirme las mismas mentiras de siempre y lo que es peor, te creeré y volveré a aceptarte.

That’s why I am writing this break-up letter far away from you. I want to calm my thoughts and to think straight.

I don’t want to hurt you, especially after so many things that we went through together. But I don’t want you in my life anymore.

I can’t stand putting you first while you never do that for me.

I can’t stand fighting for your attention while you easily give it to the first girl you meet.

I can’t convince you that you should sometimes listen to what I have to say because, hey, I know what is best for you.

I don’t want you to decide instead of me. I don’t want you to think that I would be incapable of doing big things without you.

I don’t want you to tell me what I should and shouldn’t do. I am big enough to know what can benefit me and what is not so good for me.

And that is what you did throughout the whole relationship. You didn’t behave like we are equals. You didn’t behave like I was an adult.

Siempre has tenido una extraña necesidad de ser el dominante, el que decide y el que tiene la última palabra.

¿Y sabes qué?

I am sick and tired of that! I don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t even think I am worthy.

I don’t want a man who will mold me into someone he would like to fall in love with.

I want you to fall in love with the real me. I want you to accept the real me and not ever having it cross your mind to change anything about me—not even a single bit.

¿Estoy pidiendo demasiado? ¿Estoy pidiendo lo imposible?

I don’t think so, especially after everything I did for you. I’m not asking too much because if it was real love, you would have known my wishes by just looking at me.

Pero nunca fuiste capaz de hacerlo.

Nunca viste más allá de mi cuerpo. Nunca quisiste conocerme más a fondo.

Sólo querías a alguien que fuera bueno para tu ego, alguien que escuchara tus deseos y alguien con quien te divirtieras.

Y me convertí en todo lo que querías. Estuve perdiéndome demasiado tiempo sólo para poder hacerte feliz.

And I came to the breaking point where I couldn’t even recognize myself anymore.

I changed so much just so you would like me more that I forgot to love myself. The girl I see in the mirror isn’t that happy and positive girl anymore.

She is far from happy because she doesn’t listen to her heart. Instead, she listens to someone else who isn’t even good for her.

Ella escucha al hombre que cree que es su felices para siempre . Pero no lo es. Y nunca lo será.

That’s why this ruptura carta es tan doloroso para mí. Y sé que sería más dolorosa si te contara todo esto en persona.

I know that I wouldn’t be so strong and that you would convince me to go back to you. And that is the last thing I want to do.

Hoy es el día en que te dejo marchar, lo quieras o no. Llevo mucho tiempo escuchando tus deseos y ahora me toca a mí.

Necesito que respetes mi único deseo, el que escribo en esta carta. Quiero que respetes mi decisión como yo siempre respeté la tuya.

I want you to finally let me go because this is not love anymore; it is just a bad compromise. And I can’t live like this any longer.

If you are wondering if there is another man behind this whole story, just know that there isn’t. I am still madly in love with you, but you are ruining me like nobody did before.

You are hurting me even if I love you, and you don’t want to change.

Rompes tus promesas como si no significaran nada para ti, y repites las mismas cosas una y otra vez.

And I am smart enough to see that by doing all that, you don’t really love me.

Sólo te gusta la idea de mí. Te encanta tener a alguien con quien tomar el café de la mañana, alguien que te abrigue en las frías noches de invierno y alguien con quien presumir.

Sadly, I was that person but not anymore. So please don’t call me and beg me to give you another chance because I gave you too many of them.

Don’t text me and don’t try to find me.

Aunque rompa contigo, no es fácil. Pasé demasiado tiempo contigo como para poder olvidarte en tan poco tiempo.

So, please don’t reach out. Don’t make it harder for both of us.

Sabías que algo así pasaría tarde o temprano. Y es mejor que haya ocurrido ahora porque aún podemos encontrar a nuestra verdadera pareja.

In the end, I just want you to know that I don’t hate you. I guess heaven sent you into my life for some reason.

Maybe to make me stronger, to teach me that real love can’t be found on every corner and to show me that sometimes it is better to be alone than in a bad company.

Y eso es lo que haré ahora mismo. Estaré solo, libre de ti y totalmente centrado en mí mismo.

Maybe in losing you, I will find what I have always been seeking – maybe I will find myself.

Christine is the author of ‘ Mirar fijamente a los ojos de la ansiedad y la depresión ’ , a book that will change the way you fight anxiety and depression.