Every woman has gone through the same shit at least once in her life.
You had a guy, there was chemistry, he was always calling and texting you, maybe you were even dating for a while and then he disappeared into thin air.
He was gone, like he just vanished from the face of the Earth.
Feeling rejected can burn your confidence to the ground. The thought of someone leaving to get away from you really gets you thinking: “What did I do wrong?”
Like the feeling of being unwanted isn’t enough, he also left without an explanation, without a closure.
Beaten to the ground, refusing to believe in love again, you have to go through the stages of emotional healing.
You have to go through the hell of forgetting he exists so you can give yourself another chance for love.
You have to cry in your bed, you have to be angry at the world and at yourself for falling for the emotionally unavailable man. You have to learn to smile again and forgive yourself for making such a mistake.
This seems like a lot of work to do and it is. It’s a process every person has to go through at least once in a lifetime. You wish you don’t, but most of us do.
Nevertheless, eventually, you learn to get through all of that. You learn to heal and forgive. You learn to leave the past behind.
After you finally find peace, guess who comes back, knocking at your door?
Oh yeah, it’s him. Now, all of a sudden that you’ve dealt with the fact you are not together anymore, he comes back.
He shows up like nothing happened like you were just on a break because you had to deal with your own problems.
Why do guys do that? Why do they decide to come back right that moment when you’ve finally moved on?
They are lonely
They’ll probably text you first, using the excuse that they just want to see how you’re doing.
The thing is they are feeling lonely and down and they need to know that you still care, that at least someone cares about them.
And the best way to get that is to get back in touch with you.
Now, some women believe them and their sudden change of heart and they think men like them really want to get back together, and they feel flattered that a man is reaching out first, but in most cases that is not why they contacted you.
They probably contacted you just because they are lonely and in fact, they don’t need anything other than a lousy text back from you.
They want to feel important and they want to know they still got it.
They want comfort
They are going through a rough patch and they need emotional support.
Now, you are the last thing he had and despite the fact you broke up, you had some kind of an emotional bond and understanding for each other.
He wants to take advantage of that. He wants you back only because he needs comfort, a shoulder to cry on.
He’ll probably vent out all of his problems on you and disappear again, like he did the first time.
So don’t fall for that, especially after you’ve been through hell and back to get over him. Men like him never change.
They need confirmation of their self-worth
Being single can provoke some nasty feelings in you. You can feel unwanted and ugly when the truth is far from it but somehow you can’t shake off that lousy feeling.
That is one of the reasons your ex wants you back. He probably feels like shit, his self-confidence is below zero and he wants some validation.
There is no better place to find it than with you, than going back to something he already knows.
Don’t fall into this trap because this is a selfish act. He doesn’t want you back for you, but for himself, to make himself feel better.
They forgot why they broke up in the first place
There was a reason people break up. He was unhappy, and maybe he told you what the problem was, maybe he didn’t but it doesn’t matter anyway.
The thing is that your relationship didn’t work out for some reason.
But now he wants you back all of a sudden. You know what happens usually?
After some time passes, loneliness and lack of emotional support leads you into thinking about your past relationship and how great it was.
Time heals all wounds, that’s true, but it also idealizes the past.
That’s what he is doing. He is remembering only the good things in your relationship and he is probably wondering why you broke up in the first place.
But that’s the trick; then you get back together, and after the initial thrill of the new relationship wears off, the old problems come barging in and you remember why you broke up.
This, of course, leads to yet another break-up, where you’ll have even bigger problems to deal with.
They only want sex
This one is easy. Men like him only want to get back with you because they want sex. He’s stuck in a bit of a dry spell and he wants some action on the side.
Logically, you are the first person he’ll come running to because he thinks you give in easily since you are probably still emotionally attached to him.
Don’t stoop that low because he’ll just use you and toss you away like he did the first time.
They realized they made a mistake
This is the least probable one, but we’ll give it a try. Maybe he truly realized he made a mistake and he regrets his past actions and he really wants you back.
Maybe he was completely miserable from the moment he broke up with you but he didn’t know how to get you back.
If you see that his intentions are true, if you see that he is not broken, insecure or just lonely, then he’s probably come to his senses and he wants to admit what a jerk he was for letting you go.
But in the end, you are the one who decides whether you’re going to give him another chance or not. you have to be damn sure about him if you take him back.
if you’re not, you’re risking another heartbreak, some more tears and a long healing road ahead.