Are you also sick of hearing people say: “Oh, you’ll find someone when you stop looking.”?
Yeah, I was too. I would roll my eyes every time someone said that to me. I know they had good intentions and wanted to make me feel better, but honestly, I hated it.
I never understood how to stop looking for someone when I really, really, wanted to be in a committed relationship. What is it about, fake it until you make it? Is that what it is?
Is it so bad to want to have someone by your side? How can I meet someone if I delete all my dating apps, ditch events for single people, and stop trying to find my soulmate? It never made sense to me!
Wouldn’t I be seen as someone who’s not interested in relationships and guys would get a totally different message from me? These are all the things that would spin around my mind until I finally realized what people meant by saying I’ll find love when I stop searching for it.
So I want to share with you things that helped me find love without even trying.
“Don’t worry about finding the right person, focus on being the one”
This quote describes the essence of what people actually want to say to you. It’s not really about not looking for love, it’s about not forcing something that isn’t meant to be.
Although we think we know what’s best for us, I think that’s not always the case. We might think we’re ready to commit and give our everything to another person but in reality, we’re far away from that.
That’s why I really believe the universe sometimes saves us from misery and trouble by not letting us have what we want at some moment.
We often think we need another person to feel fulfilled but truth is far away from that. What we need is to focus and work on ourselves. Being self-assured and happy was a big part of me finding my soulmate.
You don’t need your “other half”, you’re already whole
People rush to meet someone while they don’t even know themselves fully. This is dangerous as it could resurface later in your relationships and cause issues.
Besides this, if you need someone else to make you happy, honey, you have a big problem. No one wants to be with someone who is desperate. I don’t know, it’s just not attractive.
Also, people don’t want their partner to be clingy all the time and suffocate them just because they can’t live without them. Do you understand now where I’m going with this?
Yeah, so basically you need to learn how to spend time alone and enjoy being single. This is the time when you can do absolutely anything you want without having to think about someone else. All the important decision, it all comes down to you and what you wish for.
So use that time wisely to live life however you want. When you see how happy you can be even when you’re alone, you won’t depend on anyone else for your happiness.
This is really important and will come in handy if you realize at some point you don’t want to be in a relationship anymore. You’ll know there’s nothing bad about being alone and it’s better than being miserable with someone else.
You don’t want to be the person who stays with someone even if they’re a horrible person just because you don’t want to be single, right?
Live your own life to the fullest
The key is not to completely give up on love and then expect it will find us, it’s just to shift our focus from desperately searching for the one to something that we love.
It’s crazy how many people I attracted once I looked satisfied with where I was in life and didn’t force anything. That’s what you need as well!
Besides focusing on self-improvement, you can literally do whatever makes you happy. Travel, pick up some new hobbies, go out and have fun with your friends, start your own business, whatever!
Living life like this and not constantly worrying about finding someone will make you realize that having a partner is just a bonus, not a necessity. When people see what kind of life you have, they’ll naturally want to be a part of it.
Putting yourself out there is also the easiest way to meet someone unexpectedly and people you meet that way often turn out to be the best!
So stop overthinking already, damn it! By forcing things, you’re just setting yourself up for failure. You’ll see that once you shift your energy from finding true love, it’ll come quicker than you expect and surprise you.