I just want to say, “I am truly sorry.” I know that’s not enough to repair the damage I caused you but I have to say it and hope you will forgive me someday.
I am sorry that I let you down. You are the best man I ever met. You are so simple and so down-to-earth that it just makes you extraordinary.
We could talk for hours about anything. Even with the things that didn’t interest you, you would pay attention because they were important to me. You made me feel special and reminded me of my worth.
You were in some kind of state of deep sleep before you met me. You got caught up in a routine where every day seemed the same.
I am glad that love you had for me awakened you from that sleep and made you realize that you can do so much more with your life. I felt so proud I could move someone to such greatness.
At least I did one thing right, even though I think in the end, you did it yourself.
I want you to know that you were my best friend. You supported me. You held me when I was down.
You stood by me when I was up. You did everything perfectly. Don’t you ever think that you didn’t.
This whole mess is entirely my fault.
You just seemed so right for me at the time. I couldn’t help falling for you, even though there never was that lightning moment.
You made an effort to win me over. It just felt right being with you. So, I ignored that inner voice that told me that something was missing and I followed my head.
It sounds bad but you were so good for my ego. You looked at me like I was the most beautiful woman on the planet. You admired everything about me, inside and out.
You appreciated and cherished me. You put your needs second to mine. It was everything I ever wanted.
It was everything I knew in my mind that was good for me. But my heart refused to follow.
You have to know that I didn’t realize that at the time. I never meant to hurt you on purpose. I’d been so intoxicated with the attention that you gave me that I mistook it for love.
I was unconsciously selfish. I was so overwhelmed by everything you did for me that I never considered giving the same to you. I just let it be as it was.
The moment in which I realized everything was when you asked me if I thought you were the one for me.
I immediately said, “I don’t know. I am not sure,” without even thinking about it.
I still remember the pain I saw in your eyes. I felt so bad but I knew I was being honest.
You still hoped that I just needed more time than you to figure out that we belonged together. I felt that something was missing and I had no words to explain it.
I never planned this, I never meant to hurt you, but I did anyway. And after all this time I am still sorry, even though I know I made the right decision in leaving you.
I wasn’t the right one and we were never meant to be. You need someone better.
Someone who will reciprocate your feelings and give you everything I couldn’t. I am certain you will find her someday and will make her the happiest woman on earth.
Don’t let the bad experience you had with me ruin your pure heart. Don’t fall back asleep in that deep state you were in before you met me. Get up and find the woman of your dreams.
I am sorry that I didn’t know then what I do now, that when you truly love someone, there is no uncertainty, there is no second guessing, you just know that person is the one. You will see that I am right when you meet her.
I am sorry. I hope you will be happy. I hope that maybe someday you will find it in your heart to forgive me.
