6 cose fondamentali da considerare prima di uscire con un amico

Uscire con un amico può finire per essere la cosa migliore che vi sia mai capitata, senza ombra di dubbio.

But before it gets to the good part, there are some steps to overcome in order to master that perfect new balance of emotions you’re feeling.

Il mio uomo and I started out as friends, and let me tell you… it was a bumpy ride before I finally figured out how to act, now that I was more than just his friend and my feelings were so much more intensified.

La prima volta che mi ha baciato è stato imbarazzante, ma non perché fosse un pessimo baciatore. (trust me, he’s not), ma perché eravamo entrambi così esitanti e insicuri di ciò che stavamo facendo.

Anche se abbiamo trovato il coraggio di farlo, è successo in modo confuso ed è stato a dir poco dimenticabile.

Luckily, we both knew we could do so much better than that, so it didn’t really discourage us from giving it another shot.

I primi giorni sono i più strani, per non dire altro.

I guess it would depend on how close you were as friends, but for us, since we were really close, we just weren’t totally sure if we wanted to risk losing the friendship that we had over something that might not work.

Learning how to behave now that you’re trying to be a little more than just two really close friends is daunting.

Especially when certain feelings start appearing and you’re feeling yourself get so much more attached and connected to him.

It gets scary, because you know this is actually leading somewhere new and exciting, but at the same time, the over-encompassing level of affection you’re feeling scares the shit out of you.

Because if it ends up backfiring, you’re probably losing one of i vostri migliori amici.

For us, I thank my lucky stars we never gave up, because it’s been a little over a year now, and I’ve literally never been in a healthier, happier relationship.

La base che avevamo come amici è la cosa che ci ha aiutato di più.

Eravamo già a nostro agio l'uno con l'altro e non c'erano conversazioni imbarazzanti e approfondite, in cui ti preoccupi di scoprire qualcosa che ti farà correre verso le colline.

Sapevo già tutto quello che c'era da sapere su di lui e questo mi ha dato la rassicurazione e la fiducia necessarie per continuare a perseguire questo obiettivo.

When you feel there is something more there than just a beautiful friendship, my sincere advice is – go for it!

I wouldn’t be the woman that I am now if I hadn’t had the guts to start uscire con un amico.

If you don’t try, you’ll never know what you potentially could end up gaining, and if it works, it’s going to feel that much better because he was your friend first.

There isn’t a rulebook on how to handle the transition from friends to lovers, but there are some things that are inevitably going to play a significant role in the process, and it definitely can’t hurt to inform yourself before actually going for it.

So if you’re truly contemplating dating a friend, here are some things you should be mindful of before taking the leap!

Potreste iniziare a flirtare per vedere a che punto siete

It can be challenging trying to decipher his feelings, since you’re already close and you know he cares about you a lot.

And that’s the whole thing. He cares for you as a friend, but you want to make sure it transcends that!

How do you know if there is something more there when you’re already close and have a fun, playful friendship?

Here’s how I resolved that. Every time I’d go shopping, I’d take a hot selfie in a new outfit and text it to him to ask for his opinion of whether I should buy it or not.

Also, it needs to be something girly and hot, where he’ll get what you’re trying to do. And based on his response, you can see dove ti trovi.

I suoi commenti erano sempre civettuoli e non erano affatto qualcosa che un amico avrebbe scritto, e io sapevo che lui stava flirtando a sua volta!

Questo mi ha aiutata a decidere di prendere davvero in considerazione l'idea di uscire con lui.

Il mio consiglio è di testare prima le acque, per essere certi che ci sia davvero qualcosa, prima di fare il grande salto nell'ignoto.

Assicuratevi prima di tutto di avere una solida base di amicizie

If you’re thinking about dating a friend, make sure that it is in fact a true, genuine friend, and not someone you think might flake on you if he gets cold feet.

The way he is as a friend is going to be a sign of what he’d be like as a boyfriend.

Potete contare su di lui nei momenti difficili? È una persona su cui potete contare senza alcun dubbio? Verrebbe a prendervi alle 3 del mattino se lo chiamaste piangendo?

Questi sono tutti gli aspetti da prendere in considerazione prima di passare a cose più serie.

È una persona a cui presumibilmente siete molto legati, quindi dovreste conoscerlo abbastanza bene.

Se la vostra è un'amicizia profonda e forte, e sapete che lui tiene davvero a voi e che non si farebbe mai darvi per scontati, allora avete il via libera per farlo!

But if you see him with other girls and you don’t like the way he treats them, think about the fact that you would be just like those girls.

Le piacerebbe ricevere questo trattamento?

Deep down, you know exactly what he’s like. Don’t lie to yourself that he’d be different with you. What you see is almost always what you get.

Make sure he’s a genuine, reliable person in your life before making any big decisions.

Perché vuoi davvero uscire con lui?

Be honest with yourself, and don’t let your loss of faith in love or your current feeling of loneliness lead you into the wrong direction.

You don’t want to start dating a friend just because you’re stufi di essere soli.

Se questo fosse un buon motivo per uscire con qualcuno, credetemi, tutti lo farebbero solo per il gusto di farlo.

You want to make sure that you’ve got all the right reasons for thinking about this.

Innanzitutto, devono esserci emozioni autentiche da parte vostra, che sappiate essere più che platoniche.

Without feeling anything different than just your typical friendly vibes, there’s honestly no point in putting yourself through that.

If you’ve established that your feelings are indeed transcending that friend stage, you’re good to go.

Make sure that you have some shared interests first. You don’t want to start anything with him unless you’re on the same page about the future.

I know he gives you that feeling of security and comfort, but that’s not enough for an actual relationship if that’s the only reason to start things up!

Deve esserci anche un'attrazione sessuale e dovete davvero desiderare di avere una relazione sentimentale con lui.

If you’re not, sooner or later, it’s going to backfire and you’ll be at square one.

If you’re really sure you want to do this, stop seeing him as a friend and truly go for it

At first, it’s only normal to worry about what this could potentially do to your friendship in case it doesn’t work.

You’re worried about losing a really good friend and nobody can really blame you.

But at some point, you’re going to have to stop seeing him as a friend and start focusing on actually making it work as a couple.

Because for as long as you worry about the future and how it may affect you, you’re never going to be fully invested in this.

Meriti di essere felice. Meritate di dare una vera possibilità a questa cosa.

And the only way you’re going to succeed in doing that is by putting in tons of effort and making sure that you’re working towards the same beautiful goal – a healthy, happy relationship.

Lasciate che l'amicizia sia la base su cui costruire un fondamento ancora più forte che vi aiuterà a crescere ancora di più e a raggiungere quel livello di intimità che solo le coppie condividono.

Forget about all those things that could potentially go wrong, and stay focused on this thing you’re trying to build with him.

Every new relationship has a risk of burning out, so that’s no reason to doubt yourself and sabotage something that could end up being the best thing in your life.

Keep your budding romance private and don’t overshare with your mutual friends

Chances are, you two have some mutual friends and they will likely find out what’s happening between you two.

And that’s fine. It’s only natural to want to know about your two friends suddenly becoming romantically involved.

Ma il trucco è quello di non coinvolgere troppo gli amici comuni.

It’s already challenging enough without prying eyes who want to know every last detail about what’s new with you two.

È possibile condividere alcune cose fondamentali.

Say that things are doing great and you’re both happy with where it’s heading, but don’t get into too many details. Keep that to yourself.

The attention is really going to just annoy the hell out of you and you don’t want that additional pressure and all those nagging questions that you don’t even know all the answers to.

Until you’re truly there, stay as private as possible; it’s the best thing for the relationship.

Only once you’ve got it all figured out and you know exactly where you are and what your intentions are with each other can you allow yourself to talk about it with your other friends.

That is the only way it won’t bug and pressure you into God knows what.

Besides, aren’t secret relationships just the best?

When you’ve got this whole amazing, hot, exciting new thing just to yourself, and no one in the world knows about it?

So che questa è stata la parte migliore per me personalmente.

Lui è stato il mio piccolo e caldo segreto per tutto il tempo in cui siamo riusciti a tenerlo nascosto!

Be aware that everything is going to be awkward at first (but that’s totally normal!)

With every beautiful new experience comes an awkward first time, and you’ll be no exception.

La prima volta che fate sesso probabilmente non sarà la sessione calda e vaporosa che avete elaborato nella vostra testa.

It might be… but it’s more likely that it won’t.

La pressione e l'idea di come dovrebbe essere giocheranno un ruolo enorme nel risultato effettivo.

I’m not saying it’s going to be bad or anything, just a bit awkward, but in a cute way, really.

Because as close as you two are, sex is another level of intimacy you haven’t experienced with each other yet, so before you get to know his body and vice versa, it’ll take a little time before it gets to that steamy, sexy level.

Secondo la mia esperienza, la seconda volta è già molto meglio!

The first time, it’s basically getting to know one another on that ultimate, most personal level and seeing what works for each of you.

You’ll try out things, see what feels right, and you’ll know exactly what to do (or not do) the next time around.

But the point is, if there’s truly a connection there, you’ll totally be able to just laugh about it and brush it off.

You’ll find it cute and amusing, and when it’s done, you’ll be able to just lie there and make fun of each other, before falling asleep in his arms.

And trust me, it’s going to feel right. Just give it a few times, and you’ll be on top of things.