Come corteggiare una donna in 12 passi efficaci

Anche se si potrebbe pensare che il corteggiamento appartenga al passato, la verità è che molti uomini oggi si chiedono come corteggiare correttamente una donna. 

It’s actually pretty expected; we’ve gotten stanchi degli appuntamenti moderni and all the games it brings with it so most of us want the real deal. It seems that we’ve reached full circle. 

Everyone interested in courtship knows its numerous benefits. If you’re one of those people, you’re aware that this is one of the best ways to find your spouse, as outdated as it might seem.

Quindi, come fare esattamente la corte a una donna? Abbiamo tutte le risposte che vi servono. Ecco una guida passo passo al corteggiamento. 

Riconoscere le differenze tra appuntamenti e corteggiamento

Innanzitutto, bisogna sapere che gli appuntamenti e il corteggiamento sono due termini diversi. In sostanza, il corteggiamento è una forma più tradizionale di appuntamento.

Simply put, when you engage in dating someone, you don’t know where it will take you. You live day to day, without thinking much about the future. 

This is just another station along your way. It can be permanent but it’s more likely to be something temporaneo.

You won’t remember most women you dated once you grow old. They’re there to pass the time, make your life more interesting and help you wait for the right one.

On the other hand, courtship is a full stop. It’s a final destination and something with a bigger purpose and a deeper cause. 

Quando si esce con più persone, si dà un pezzo del proprio cuore e del proprio corpo a ciascuna di esse.

Una volta interrotta una relazione, una parte di voi è rimasta per sempre parte di quella persona che non fa più parte della vostra vita.

Nevertheless, courtship differs because it’s the only way you have to give yourself entirely, physically, emotionally and spiritually to one person only. 

Oltre alle differenze di scopo, il corteggiamento e gli appuntamenti non sono uguali per quanto riguarda le persone coinvolte. Innanzitutto, quando si corteggia una donna, la relazione è sempre monogama. 

You’re not here to explore your options and you don’t alternate between girls. Instead, both your attention and theirs is directed toward the two of you.

Tuttavia, nel corteggiamento sono coinvolte altre persone. Il vostro corteggiamento non è un segreto e tutta la vostra comunità e gli ambienti religiosi, soprattutto i vostri genitori e i membri più stretti della famiglia, ne sono a conoscenza. 

Inoltre, contrariamente agli appuntamenti, il corteggiamento va ben oltre la soddisfazione dei bisogni fisici. Infatti, una delle sue caratteristiche fondamentali è la capacità di resistere alle tentazioni che ci circondano. 

La devozione è obbligatoria

Se avete intenzione di corteggiare una donna, sappiate che ci si aspetta da voi impegno e devozione. Dovete dedicarvi completamente alla vostra relazione e a lei, poiché si tratta di un lavoro a tempo pieno.

Don’t misunderstand me; I’m not saying that your life should stop just because you’ve decided to court a girl. However, she should definitely become the center of your world.

It’s wrong to assume that it’s acceptable to make this woman your second choice. Instead, she needs to get the place at the top of your priority list from the very start.

Dopotutto, in quale altro modo le dimostrerete che volete impegnarvi seriamente? In che altro modo vi aspettate che si fidi di voi?

Let’s be straight about one thing—you won’t get the woman you want just like that. She won’t fall right into your arms the moment she realizes that you’re courting her.

Instead, you’ll need to invest some time, energy and effort into all of this. So, if this is not something you’re ready to do, please give up in time. 

When you’re figuring out how to court a woman, you have to be honest with yourself and determine whether you’re capable of being devoted to just one woman.

Potete impegnarvi a corteggiare il vostro potenziale partner?

Another thing to remember is that you’re courting one girl at a time. Even though you’re technically not together, your fidelity cannot be questioned. 

Il matrimonio è il vostro obiettivo finale

When you start dating someone, you don’t think about the future much. You vivere un giorno alla volta e vedere dove vi porta.

You don’t know whether this will even become a real relazione seriae tanto meno se si trasformerà in un'amicizia che durerà tutta la vita. 

Tuttavia, il corteggiamento è molto diverso da questo. Fin dall'inizio avete un obiettivo finale: il matrimonio.

The truth is that nobody can guarantee you that you’ll really end up sposarsi the woman you’re courting. After all, you still have to get to know each other and figure out whether you’re compatible or not.

Nessuno può dire con certezza che la vostra relazione funzionerà. Tuttavia, il punto è che avete l'intenzione di trasformarla in matrimonio.

Everything between you and the woman you’re courting leads to this final step. 

You’re not investigating other options while you’re with her. Instead, from day one, you’re both preparing to walk down the aisle. 

Ad esempio, potreste frequentare una ragazza da anni. Tuttavia, il pensiero di sposarla non vi è mai passato per la testa e non vi siete mai posti le domande giuste.

Non ti sei mai chiesto che tipo di moglie sarebbe stata, non avete mai parlato della vostra vita insieme, né di avere figli. 

Pertanto, dopo tanto tempo trascorso con lei, non hai idea dei suoi obiettivi di vita. Non avete mai affrontato questioni serie e vi siete solo divertiti. 

D'altra parte, si guarda a questa donna con occhi diversi dal primo momento in cui la si incontra.

Invece di concentrarsi, ad esempio, sul suo corpo, si presta attenzione al fatto che sia o meno un di alto valore donna e materiale da moglie o meno.

Lo stesso vale viceversa. Invece di impressionare la ragazza con le tue abilità di giocatore, cerca di dimostrarle che saresti un ottimo marito e padre. 

Siate voi a dare il via a tutto

Even though you are (and should be) for equality, when it comes to courting, you’re the man so please, don’t forget to act like one. 

No, I’m not saying that your girl should be submissive to you in any way. This doesn’t mean that she has fewer rights than you do or that your opinion counts more.

Voi due siete e diventerete partner e nessuno è subordinato all'altro.

However, you’re the one who decided to court her. Therefore, you have to show your alpha qualities and be the leader of this game. 

I won’t lie to you; courage is necessary here. You’ll get nowhere if you let your insecurities take over you or if you let your nervous side prevent you from approaching this girl.

Come uomo, devi essere tu a dare il via a tutto.

You’re the one who will ‘pick’ the girl you’re about to court, the one who will ask for her number, the one who will ask her out and arrange the perfect primo appuntamento. 

Later, you’ll be the one who will suggest taking your relationship to the next level and, finally, the one who will make a marriage proposal. 

However, this doesn’t mean that you can do everything your way, without waiting for this girl’s approval.

Even though you’re carrying most of the weight, you still need her feedback and, most importantly, consent. 

The trick is to read in-between the lines and figure out this girl’s hints. As a real lady, she’ll never make an actual move but she will definitely subtly show you her desires. 

What I’m trying to tell you is that you have to be wise enough to see whether this girl is ready for the next step.

For example, you won’t ask her to marry you out of the blue unless you see that she is willing to become your wife. 

Esprimete i vostri sentimenti alla donna dei vostri sogni

I segnali contrastanti sono diventati la norma negli appuntamenti moderni. Si gioca a fare i difficili e si finge di non essere interessati a qualcuno che chiaramente piace, solo per poter finire per pensare a voi e ricambiarvi.

Sembra complicato e completamente inutile, vero? Purtroppo oggi le cose funzionano così.

You’re considered too emotional if you happen to show your feelings. If you open your heart to another party, you’re giving them a chance to break it without any consequences.

In pratica, l'intera scena degli appuntamenti moderni si basa su ipotesi. Bisogna saper leggere nel pensiero e indovinare se il potenziale partner è innamorato di voi o meno.

Tutto si è trasformato in una grande gioco. Consequently, couples don’t enjoy the initial stages of their relationship. Instead, the only thing important here is who will beat whom.

Chi sarà il primo a essere messo al tappeto e chi sarà il primo ad ammettere la sconfitta. 

You spend most of your time dissecting the other person’s words and actions. You try to outsmart them and batterli al loro stesso gioco.

Naturally, all of this exhausts you. If you play along, it turns you into someone you’ve never been. 

La buona notizia è che potete dimenticare tutte queste pratiche quando si tratta di corteggiare.

There are no mind games, no mixed signals, no dissecting the other person’s texts or social media, no wondering where you stand.

Infatti, qui tutto è chiarissimo fin dall'inizio. Come uomo, dovete essere completamente onesti sui vostri sentimenti e sulle vostre intenzioni fin da subito.

All of this is pointless if you’re too afraid to approach this girl. Don’t let her wonder what you want from her or whether you’re courageous enough to take it.

The most important thing here is to tell her directly that you want to court her. Tell her that you’re not interested in typical dating and that you want both of you to know where you stand. 

Tuttavia, quando dichiarate il vostro amore alla donna dei vostri sogni, astenetevi da un linguaggio fortemente emotivo. Non è necessario corteggiarla o introdurre parole dolci fin dall'inizio.

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Ho occhi solo per lei

I can’t emphasize this enough; courting is strictly monogamous so this doesn’t include dating more than one woman.

In effetti, significa che dovreste avere occhi solo per lei, anche se siete in coppia. relazione a distanza.

Non c'è nessuna ricerca di altre ragazze, nessun messaggio, nessuna esplorazione delle proprie opzioni e nessun flirt con nessun'altra. 

You see, when it comes to courting, the term ‘fidelity’ has a slightly different concept than in dating. 

No, you won’t allow your partner to be possessive, nor will you erase the entire life you had before her.

Nevertheless, in courtship, you can’t use your ex to make her jealous, nor can you use an online dating app, which is sadly a common scenario in modern dating. 

You’re taken even though you two still might not be in an official relationship. So you better act that way. 

The woman you’re courting has to feel special. She needs to know that she is unique to you and that you wouldn’t trade her for the prima donna che mostra un certo interesse per voi. 

Deve sapere che preferisci essere single piuttosto che con un'altra ragazza oltre a lei. Che lei non è solo la tua prima, ma la tua unica scelta. 

The worst thing you can do here is compare your woman to some other girls. Don’t try making her feel insecure and don’t try acting like a player. 

If you plan on courting more than one woman at a time and expect them to fight for your love and attention, think again because you’re in the wrong place. 

It’s crucial for her to know that you respect her enough never to betray her. Courting doesn’t allow you to go behind your woman’s back or to make a fool out of her.

If it happens that you fall for some other woman or see that things between you two aren’t working, act like a real man and leave in time. Don’t wait until you find a backup plan to escape this courtship scheme.

Trust me, this is the only honest thing to do. The only way in which you’ll show enough respect for the woman next to you. 

Everything else makes you an immature boy who doesn’t know what he wants. It makes you a part of the crowd, despite your desire to stand out from all of her other suitors. 

Diventare amici

Uno dei più grandi incubi per tutti i ragazzi è quello di rimanere intrappolati nella friendzone. I won’t lie to you, it really is awful.

There you are, fighting for a girl’s affections and doing everything you can to make her happy and show her that you’re the perfect guy for her.

On the other hand, she only sees you as a friend. She wastes time on different suitors, complaining that she can’t find the right one.

During all of this time, you’re right in front of her face. She even says that she would be happiest if she could have a ragazzo like you, as if you don’t exist. 

Knowing all of this, all dating advice will tell you that you should in no way become friends with the girl you like. Instead, you should go after her right away, otherwise you’ll remain in the friendzone forever. 

Il segreto del corteggiamento è che inizia con un tipo di amicizia e di altruismo. Non si tratta di una normale amicizia.

Invece, the woman you’re courting knows your intentions from the start. However, neither of you wants to rush things.

You choose to lead your relationship slowly and that’s why you’ll become friends before anything else. 

Naturally, you won’t become this woman’s best friend in a way that she’ll ask for your advice regarding other guys or that you should help her put makeup on.

In fact, you will be each other’s confidant and biggest supporter. 

Oltre a cercare di capire se you’re compatible con questa ragazza o meno, il vostro obiettivo dovrebbe essere quello di far sì che anche lei si fidi di voi e questo è possibile solo attraverso l'amicizia. 

You need to show her that you’re a real man she can count on. A man who will be there to have her back, no matter what, and someone she can rely on in every possible situation. 

Comportarsi da gentiluomo

Lately, the terms gentleman and lady have lost their importance. When you’re hitting on a girl, you don’t watch your language or manners. 

Well, that is quite different when it comes to courting. In fact, when you’re wondering how to court a woman, being a gentleman is one of the first responses you’ll get.

Don’t worry, this doesn’t make you old-fashioned or one of those overly conservative people. No matter what a bunch of girls might say, trust me that most women dream of having a gentleman by her side. 

La prima caratteristica di ogni gentiluomo è il rispetto. Dovete sempre rispettare la vostra donna e darle il posto che merita nella vostra vita.

However, you won’t only respect her and the people you love. You’ll have enormous respect for literally everyone you encounter, including your employees or serving staff. 

Solo così potrete pretendere lo stesso trattamento dagli altri. 

Il punto successivo è l'igiene, che deve essere sempre in perfetto ordine. Dimenticate l'idea errata che la cura di sé sia riservata alle sole donne.

Trust me—this couldn’t be further from the truth. Take regular showers, use body sprays and perfumes, brush your teeth and make sure you’re always dressed for the occasion.

Show this woman that you’re a man of your word. Make her understand that you’re someone who keeps his promises and that your actions always match your words. 

Un'altra cosa a cui dovete prestare particolare attenzione è il linguaggio. Non c'è spazio per le bestemmie, a prescindere dalle circostanze.

I know you might get angry but that doesn’t give you the right to insult anyone around you or to curse. Remember, if you don’t have anything nice to say, it’s always wiser to remain quiet. 

Il prossimo punto della lista sono le buone maniere. Esistono alcune regole di base del galateo che ogni gentiluomo deve seguire.

First and foremost, you have to hold the door open for your lady. It doesn’t matter whether you’re entering a restaurant or a car; this is always your job.

Also, make sure you’re never late. If you can’t make it on time, call your date, apologize and make sure this doesn’t become a habit of yours. 

Quando arrivate al ristorante o al bar, lasciate che sia lei a sedersi per prima. Non solo, ma prendete una sedia per lei e aiutatela a togliersi il cappotto.  

When you two are eating together, follow some basic table manners. Keep your elbows off the table, don’t talk while you’re eating, give her a chance to order first, pour her drinks and get the check. And don’t forget to surprise her with storie romantiche della buonanotte. 

Impressionare la sua famiglia

Ciò che rende il corteggiamento particolarmente serio è che comprende sia i membri della famiglia che i migliori amici e gli ambienti religiosi.

Il vostro compito non è solo quello di impressionare la donna dei vostri sogni, ma anche quello di farlo con le persone importanti per lei. 

At first glance, you might wonder why this is necessary. After all, you’re not in love with her family members but with her.

However, this way, the girl knows that you’re ready for a committed relationship.

As long as you are willing to stand in front of her dearest ones, you definitely won’t have the courage to play with her or drag her along.

Besides, a girl who is into courtship doesn’t make all of her decisions alone. In fact, she has a father or a mentor who is much more experienced than her. 

These are the people who can see the situation much more objectively. They’re not guided by the emotions they feel for you and therefore can see the bigger picture. 

Therefore, they can determine whether you’re a uomo di alto valore or not. They went through all of these courtship stages and are able to determine whether you’re suitable for their daughter. 

Basically, the best thing you could do here is contact the woman’s father and ask for his permission to court her.

Tell him everything about yourself and promise him that you’ll take excellent care of his daughter. 

However, it’s important for you to already be certain that the woman wants you. Otherwise, you’ll get yourself in an uncomfortable situation if she doesn’t accept your offer but her father does. 

Pianificate le date in dettaglio

Lately, there’s nothing strange about asking a girl to come over out of the blue.

You might be drunk and bored and you’ll just text a bunch of girls, asking them if they need company and spend the night with the first woman who gives you a positive response.

Basically, there are not that many real dates anymore. You’ll meet a girl at a club, you’ll go for a ride, grab something to eat and end up at your place.

This is another thing different in courting. If you’re wondering how to court a woman successfully, you’ll have to plan each one of your dates with special care.

Fate molta attenzione alla vostra primo appuntamento. Indagate bene sulla sua personalità e cercate di capire dove vorrebbe andare.

A crowded club or a sports game are not options. Instead, consider taking her to a proper restaurant where she’ll feel respected and appreciated. 

Be direct when you ask her out for the first time. Don’t invite her to ‘hang out’, like it’s something casual. Instead, tell the woman and the woman’s father that you would like to take her out to dinner.

Be precise about the time when you’ll pick her up and, more importantly, about the hour in which you’ll return home. 

When you go to get her, don’t expect her to wait for you in the middle of the street. Instead, knock on the door and introduce yourself to her family.

This way, they’ll be certain that she is in good hands and that they have nothing to worry about. 

Also, when you’re taking her home, don’t forget to escort her to the front door. Kiss her hand, thank her for the great time you had and say hi to her family once more.

They’ll all see that you’re a man of good manners and will be impressed by your behavior.

Se il vostro primo appuntamento è una cena in un ristorante, inventatevi un'idea diversa per la prossima. Usate la vostra immaginazione e pianificate tutto con cura.

No matter whether you’re in a long-term relationship or not, please, never pick her up just to ask her where she wants to go or if she has any suggestions.

You’re the one courting her and it’s your job to win her over. 

Ebbene, questo è un modo sicuro per farlo in modo più efficiente. 

Corteggiarla in luoghi pubblici

Indipendentemente dal tipo di appuntamento scelto, assicuratevi sempre che avvenga in un contesto di gruppo. 

At first, you can even go on double dates with her friends. This way, you’ll show her that you’re interested in her life, that the people who matter to her are important to you as well. 

Inoltre, si scioglierà la tensione. Si sentirà più a suo agio nel vedervi di fronte ad altre persone prima di conoscervi meglio.

Inoltre, questo è fondamentale perché vi dà la possibilità di dimostrare che le vostre intenzioni sono oneste e che desiderate un impegno serio e una relazione a lungo termine. 

When you go out in public places, she won’t suspect that you’re hiding her from the rest of the world. You’re obviously available for a serious relationship and there are no obstacles to your partnership. 

Astenersi dall'eccessivo affetto fisico

Un'altra differenza significativa tra appuntamenti e corteggiamento sta nell'affetto fisico. Coloro che si frequentano sono abituati all'affetto fisico. primo bacio che si verifica al primo appuntamento o addirittura nel momento in cui ci si incontra. 

Sleeping together is also not strange. You don’t have to be in a serious relationship to wake up next to your partner. 

However, courtship doesn’t work that way. In fact, it is usually reserved for more conservative people who abstain from too much physical affection.

What you need to have in mind is that in this scenario, you’ll be getting the whole package. Don’t expect to get a girl’s body without her mind and heart as well. 

Some couples wait to kiss or to be intimate until they’re certain that they’re in a relazione seria.

They spend some time getting to know each other and wait until they’re completely sure about their emotions. 

They don’t sleep around and they don’t even put themselves in the way of temptation to do so. In fact, they connect the urge to be intimate with their feelings. 

What I’m trying to say here is that the girl you’re courting won’t even find you attractive unless she really falls in love with you.

She may consider you a handsome man but she won’t have the urge to hug you or hold you in her arms until she grows to love you. 

On the other hand, some couples save their first kiss for their wedding day. This way, they’re certain that the only person they ever share something physical with is their spouse. 

Either way, the important thing here is to respect the woman’s physical boundaries and demand her to do the same. Actually, it’s all a part of your mutual agreement. 

Whatever you do, make sure not to push the woman too hard. Don’t pressure her into doing something she’s not ready for.

Also, don’t forget to be careful about your linguaggio del corpo. Se siete d'accordo su qualcosa, la cosa peggiore che possiate fare è sfruttare ogni occasione per rompere l'accordo.

Don’t sit too near her, don’t use every chance you get to touch her and don’t try to kiss her if you decided to wait for your first kiss.

Tutto questo potrebbe sembrarvi un po' troppo impegnativo, ma credetemi, questo è un modo fantastico per incontrare la persona della vostra vita. 

In effetti, ci sono numerosi storie di successo di uomini che hanno cercato di capire come corteggiare una donna e si sono chiesti se questa fosse la cosa giusta per loro. 

Just follow these steps and I assure you that you’ll be more than content with the result.