Come dire a qualcuno che non vuoi essere amico: 13 modi
I think all of you would agree that it’s definitely not easy to end a friendship. However no one does it without good reason, but it still doesn’t make it any easier.
Today, I’ll teach you how to tell someone you don’t want to be friends with them anymore or at all. A dire il vero, non esiste un modo indolore per farlo, perché a prescindere dal modo in cui lo si fa, l'altra persona potrebbe provare emozioni negative e risentimento.
Even though you can’t do it painlessly, you can, and you should do it in the politest way possible. Stay with me until the very end, and I’ll show you how.
Come dire a qualcuno che non vuoi essere amico: 13 modi
Non c'è sicuramente un modo per porre fine a un'amicizia con qualcuno in modo del tutto innocuo, ma è possibile farlo cercando di causare il minor dolore possibile. Ecco come fare:
1. Don’t dwell on it
La dott.ssa Miriam Kirmayer, una delle maggiori esperte di counseling&psicologia, dice che porre fine a un'amicizia can leave devastating consequences on a person’s salute mentale. However, she also agrees that sometimes it’s inevitable.
If you have legit reasons to not want to be friends with someone or don’t trust them enough to let them into your life, just do it. Decidete per voi stessi e fatelo.
If you take too much time to think about it, the other person may already consider themselves your friend. And then, it’ll be even harder to tell them you don’t want to be friends with them.
2. Cercare di farlo di persona
Don’t be a coward. Don’t hide behind social media or phone calls. Buck up and tell that person you don’t want to be friends with them di persona.
Spiegate le vostre ragioni e chiedete loro di cercare di capire. Inoltre, cercate di essere empatici perché l'altra persona potrebbe non prenderla bene.
3. Scegliere il momento e il luogo giusto
Oltre a farlo faccia a facciaMa bisogna anche prestare attenzione al momento e al luogo in cui lo si fa. Questo tipo di cose può alleviare il loro dolore quando rifiutate di essere loro amici.
Now, I’m sure you want to know when the right time and where the right place to end a friendship is. And I’m sorry to have to tell you the bad news, but that’s something no one can give you the right answer to.
4. Please, just don’t start ghosting them
Ghosting that person is the worst thing you can do to them. Declining or ending your friendship with them definitely won’t hurt them as much as your ghosting would.
La cosa peggiore e più dolorosa è quando qualcuno inizia a evitarti senza motivo. A dire il vero, è una cosa che fanno solo i codardi.
Talk to them. Tell them how you’re feeling. You don’t have to justify yourself or your actions and decisions, but the other person definitely deserves an explanation, the reason that made you end or decline your friendship with them.
5. Take care of the other person’s feelings
As I said, you need to be empathetic towards the other person’s feelings. Okay, you don’t like their vibe, or you simply don’t trust them, but that still doesn’t give you the right to hurt their feelings.
Be polite when choosing the words to tell them you don’t want to be their friend.
Questo potrebbe avere enormi conseguenze sulle loro autostima because that person may start thinking they aren’t good enough to be part of your life.
6. Siate sinceri e onesti sui motivi
The other person needs to know about the causes and reasons that brought you to this decision. It’s their right, and if you want to be fair and essere la persona più grande, you’ll give it to them.
If you don’t have any legit reason but your gut feeling that you shouldn’t be friends with them, be in anticipo e dire loro la verità. Avete il diritto di scegliere chi volete che faccia parte della vostra vita.
7. Dimenticatevi di incolpare e svergognare le persone per le loro malefatte.
Even if they did something really bad to you, you shouldn’t rub their nose in it or cercare vendetta. Chiudete l'amicizia, chiedete loro di lasciare la vostra vita per sempre e andate avanti come se non li aveste mai incontrati.
Soon, they’ll become an ex-friend, and you won’t even remember them and their wrongdoings. Forgive them if you can, and do it for your own peace of mind. Seeking revenge or rancore vi impedirà di andare avanti.
8. Don’t make excuses
Dimenticatevi di trovare scuse banali. Dovete essere coraggiosi e leali e parlare con l'altra persona in modo onesto.
Cercare scuse vi renderà bugiardi e codardi. Also, if this is the first time you’re breaking up with someone, you should get used to it because there will be many breakups you’ll need to deal with in your life.
9. Don’t leave them with false hope
What does this mean? You make lame excuses, tell them how you are too busy right now and can’t build any new relationships, blah, blah, blah. That’s all nonsense, and it’s definitely not the right way to end a friendship.
Essere in anticipo and tell them you don’t want to be friends with them – not now, not ever. Qualsiasi altra cosa diciate potrebbe lasciare in loro la falsa speranza che un giorno possiate cambiare idea e accoglierli comunque nella vostra vita.
10. Ascoltare ciò che hanno da dire
When you’re finished with what you have to say, you should listen to what they have to say. They may not have anything to say at all because your decision may have been out of the blue for them.
If they start begging you to think about it or give them another chance to be part of your life, you shouldn’t fall for it. Rimanete fedeli alla vostra decisione, a prescindere da tutto.
11. Diventare irreperibile per loro
When you decline or end your friendship with them, you must become unavailable. Don’t answer their phone calls or text messages.
Once you leave things clear between you, then you’re allowed to fantasma loro. You need to show them that you’re really serious about not wanting them in your life as a friend.
It’ll be difficult if you have amici comuni, ma dovreste comunque cercare di farlo. If your group of friends invites both of you to their get-togethers, you should skip them and wait for one they’re not invited to.
12. Porre fine alle cose per sempre
Ending a friendship is as hard as ending a romantic relationship. Even if they are different types of love, it’s still love, and you can love a friend as much, as deeply, and as strongly as you love a significant other.
Tuttavia, quando si decide di porre fine a qualcosa, la decisione deve essere definitiva. There is no point in going back on your word or to someone you know for sure doesn’t deserve to be part of your life.
Anche se quella persona cerca ancora di far parte della vostra vita, dovete cercare di bloccare ogni singolo tentativo. Permettere loro di tornare quando vogliono vi farà male a entrambi.
13. Andare avanti e lasciarli nel passato
Anche se si trattava di un buon amico e si aveva bisogno di porre fine alla vostra amicizia for some reason, you shouldn’t dwell on it for too long. God removed them from your life because they weren’t good for you.
Now, it’s time for you to andare avanti. Surround yourself with your best friends, or if you haven’t got any, go out and meet new people. You never know when you will run onto someone who’ll become a close friend one day.
If you’re an introvert, I’m sure you have at least one close friend with whom you enjoy spending time at home. Invite them over, and I’m sure they’ll help you forget about the friend you need to kick out of your life.
Vedi anche: Perché il mio ex non vuole essere amico? (Spiegazione completa)
How Do You Tell Someone You Don’t Want To Be Friends Through Text?
If you decide to do it over social media after all, or you simply don’t have any other option, you need to be careful about the words you choose to use. One simple word can hurt another person more than rompere la vostra amicizia.
If you aren’t great with words, I’ve got a few examples I found online, and you can use them to break up or end a friendship in the most painless way possible.
1. “Hi. I really need some space from our friendship for a few weeks. I’m overwhelmed and can’t give you my full attention and support.”
2. “I appreciate the invite, but my interests have shifted in the past few years, and I just feel like we’ve drifted apart.”
3. “I am really hurt by how you behaved with me. I thought of you as my best friend. I have always valued you, but this did not matter to you. I am no longer friends with you.”
4. “Now that we’re each in different places in life and have different interests, I think it’s time we take some time apart to really explore our own individual paths.”
5. “It’s hard to say this, but I have to be honest and put myself first and not continue this friendship.”
6. “We did say to each other that we would be friends forever. But now we can’t be friends. I don’t want to be in touch with a dishonest friend. I had never expected this kind of attitude from you. Goodbye forever!”
7. “Lately, I’ve been feeling like we’re into different things. I’m really busy with my new job and want to move on from our friendship to focus on that and rediscover my own hobbies and passions.”
8. “Due to recent conflict, I’m choosing to end this friendship.”
9. “Our friendship is no longer what it used to be. You have made new friends, and you seem much happier with them. Let’s make the mutual decision to end our friendship as I don’t want to be in a namesake friendship.”
10. “I feel like we’ve grown apart recently. We don’t even like to do the same things anymore.”
11. “I want to be completely transparent. I’ve been angry since we saw each other. This tends to happen when we spend time together, so I can no longer be in this friendship.”
12. “I don’t want to be friends with you anymore. I trusted you so much, but you were not fair to me. It’s better to be alone than to be with a friend I don’t trust anymore.”
13. “I don’t want to be friends anymore. This isn’t healthy for either of us.”
14. “We’ve both grown so much, but not together.”
15. “Our friendship has changed a lot over the last few months, and we are no longer close. I hate you for what you did to me, and I don’t want to be friends with you anymore.”
16. “I wish you the absolute best, but I can’t support you as a friend anymore.”
17. “I need space from our friendship. Distance will help both of us understand who and what is important to us.”
18. “I don’t want to see you anymore. Please don’t try to contact me.”
19. “I hope you can understand that I can’t be in this friendship anymore.”
20. “I feel like this friendship isn’t healthy for me.”
21. “I don’t feel like our relationship is helping me. You matter to me, but it’s getting difficult for me to continue our friendship. I think the best would be to go our separate ways.”
22. I can’t be in this friendship anymore. I want friends who understand and support me where I’m at. I hope you find that, too.”
23. “Life has changed so much for me. I’ve done some self-reflection, and I think stepping back out into the world will look different for me.”
24. “This is how I feel. I don’t want to argue about this, and I don’t think we should be friends anymore.”
25. “I’ve tried to have this conversation in person many times. But it’s clear you aren’t hearing me. I don’t want to be friends anymore.”
How Do You Say You Don’t Want To Be Friends Anymore?
It’s way harder to end a friendship than to decline to be friends with someone. Se si è già costruito quel legame di amicizia, it’ll be harder to end it because una persona finirà sicuramente per farsi male.
However, sometimes it’s just necessary and justified to end a friendship and kick that friend out of your life. Yet again, you should do it in a polite and gentle way so you don’t hurt the other person’s feelings.
Anche se hanno fatto qualcosa di brutto, dovreste sempre cercare di essere la persona più grande. Don’t even think about getting revenge – just end the friendship for good.
Be honest with them and politely explain why you’re breaking up your friendship. They may or may not understand your reasons, but it’s their problem.
Pensieri conclusivi
If you don’t want to be friends with someone or you want to break up a friendship, you can’t just start ghosting that person. You’re an adult, and you should behave like one.
Now, you have learned how to tell someone you don’t want to be friends with them in a polite way, and you should use this knowledge.
Essere in anticipo e farlo faccia a faccia. If there is absolutely no chance of doing it in person, you’re allowed to do it over social media, but you need to be even more careful and gentle if you choose to do it online.
In calo o porre fine a un'amicizia può fare del male a una persona al punto il loro cuore si spezzerà. Quindi, per favore, siate gentili e cercate di farlo nel modo più indolore possibile.
