Come essere la migliore fidanzata di sempre: 15 consigli per il successo
Che cosa i ragazzi vogliono davvero? C'è un modo per migliorare le tue capacità di fidanzata e per farlo impazzire ancora di più per te?
Anche se ogni relazione è diversa e ogni uomo ha esigenze e desideri diversi quando si tratta della sua dolce metà, ci sono alcune cose universali che tutti i ragazzi vogliono da una fidanzata. Ci sono alcune cose che potete fare se volete essere la migliore fidanzata che il vostro ragazzo abbia mai avuto: eccone 15.
1. Esprimere il proprio pensiero
One of the first things that can help you become a great girlfriend is not expecting for a guy to read your mind. I know this is the man you love and you want him to sense how you feel and what you think at any given moment but that can’t happen unless you tell him straightforwardly everything you want him to know.
What you need to understand is that men are quite different than us women—they are usually not so empathic or intuitive by nature and they don’t have the ability to sense if something is wrong unless they are directly told so. You can’t expect a guy to know everything you want him to know and all the things that are bothering you until you speak your mind and verbalize your feelings.
Besides, most boyfriends love having a direct romantic partner. The one they don’t have to second-guess everything they might be thinking and the one who isn’t afraid of telling the truth, even if it’s harsh.
2. Mostrargli rispetto e apprezzamento
Forse non ne siete consapevoli, ma la verità è che la maggior parte degli uomini ha un ego molto fragile, anche se raramente lo mostra a qualcuno o lo ammette a se stesso. Quindi, se volete allontanare un uomo, mancargli di rispetto è il modo giusto per farlo.
D'altra parte, se si sta cercando di essere un buona fidanzata, you have to show him that you respect him as a man, even if that means that you have to feed his ego from time to time. Don’t get me wrong—I am not advising you to act inferior to your boyfriend—just don’t try taking his masculinity away from him.
Don’t offend or belittle him and especially don’t do it in front of others. If there is something bothering you or something you disagree with, you should try and find a gentle way to tell him that, showing him that the two of you are equal partners and that you always take into consideration all of his opinions and attitudes.
Oltre al rispetto reciproco, un altro fondamento di una relazione sana è l'apprezzamento. Così come vi aspettate che la vostra dolce metà apprezzi gli sforzi che fate nella relazione, dovreste anche apprezzare ogni volta che il vostro ragazzo si impegna per voi.
Assicuratevi di ringraziarlo quando fa qualcosa per voi e dimostrategli che gli siete più che grati di avere un tale buon fidanzato. Don’t ever take him for granted, acting as if you are entitled to him spoiling you.
Invece, dimostrategli che siete più che orgogliosi di averlo. Ad esempio, ogni volta che il vostro ragazzo vi fa una sorpresa o vi compra un regalo, anche se si tratta solo di un piccolo segno del suo affetto, ricordate che si è impegnato molto per farvi sorridere.
3. Prendersi cura di lui
A sure way to a man’s heart is taking care of his needs. Don’t get me wrong—this doesn’t mean that your boyfriend has the right to be an immature boy while you are expected to raise him and to take on his mother’s role.
Nevertheless, cooking his favorite meal, asking if he’s gotten home safe, making sure that he is eating healthily or taking care of him when he is sick are the things which will make every boyfriend happy. Even though most men have a habit of pretending like they don’t need anyone in the world and as if they can do everything on their own, the truth is quite different.
The truth is that deep down, your boyfriend will enjoy seeing that you consider his needs and desires important. That he’ll see you taking care of him as a sign of your love for him and that he’ll love you even more for doing so.
4. Dedicategli la vostra attenzione
You know how all you want is your romantic partner’s undivided attention? How you just want to feel loved and wanted and how you crave him putting you first?
Well, let me tell you one thing—this is something all men wish for as well, even though they usually refuse to admit it. And your boyfriend is no exception.
So, if you want to be the best girlfriend this man’s ever had, don’t be scared of showing him how much you care. Always prioritize him, hear him out when he needs your advice, don’t ignore his problems and give him the place he deserves in your life.
Tutto questo aiuterà il vostro partner a sentirsi sicuro con voi. Gli farà capire che siete coerente when it comes to your feelings for him and that you aren’t going anywhere anytime soon.
5. But don’t be too clingy
Nonetheless, all of this doesn’t mean that you should make this man the center of your universe. If you cease to exist as an individual outside this relationship, one thing is for sure—you’ll only focus all of your energy on this man and consequently, you’ll become too needy or clingy.
On the other hand, if this is something you want to avoid, make sure to continue living your life outside your relationship. Don’t get me wrong—I am not saying to keep on acting as if you are single—I am just advising you to keep your interests and friendships alive.
Besides, behaving like this will just make you more attractive to your boyfriend. He’ll see that you are an independent woman who is complete without him, instead of considering you to be this desperate, immature girl who needs him.
6. Essere positivi
Let’s face it—nobody enjoys being surrounded by negativity, especially if that negativity is coming from their romantic partner. Life is already too difficult on its own and the last thing you want is for your better half to make it harder than it already is.
Quindi, quando si esce con un ragazzo, uno dei modi per guadagnarsi il suo amore è sicuramente attraverso essere positivo as you can most of the time. I know you are not a robot and obviously you have some bad days and you can’t have a smile on your face in all situations but always remember to try being the person who will brighten your guy’s day.
Fate del vostro meglio per abbracciare una visione positiva della vita e smettete di guardare le cose negative in ogni situazione possibile. Ricordate che esiste sempre una luce alla fine del tunnel, anche se potreste non vederla.
Besides, this change in your character will help you out as well. It won’t just make your man fall in love with you—it will also help you feel better about yourself.
7. Evitare l'assillo
If there is something bothering you about your relationship or something you disagree on with your partner, the worst thing you can do is nag about it all the time. I know you are trying to make a difference but constant nagging won’t get you anywhere.
Instead, this approach can only be counterproductive and can make your man refuse to do something you are asking him to do out of pure spite. It will make him feel like an immature mama’s boy who needs to be told what to do and let’s face it—that is the last thing every man wants to feel like.
Don’t get me wrong—under no circumstances does this mean that you should keep quiet about all the things bothering you in a relationship and that you should let your boyfriend do whatever he wants, without you saying a word. I am just advising you to consider other ways of making a difference between the two of you other than nagging.
8. Don’t try changing him
Quando incontrate qualcuno per la prima volta, compreso il vostro potenziale partner romantico, dovreste fare del vostro meglio per guardarlo in modo realistico. Dovete essere consapevoli che ognuno ha i suoi difetti e le sue imperfezioni, anche voi, oltre al fatto che siamo tutti esseri umani maturi che nessuno può modificare a modo suo.
Therefore, if there are some things you don’t think you can handle regarding your boyfriend, don’t expect them to magically disappear with time. Don’t innamorarsi del suo potenzialepensando a tutti i modi in cui potrebbe migliorare e a tutti i modi in cui potreste cambiarlo.
Besides, the moment your boyfriend sees that you are trying to change the essence of his personality, he’ll feel threatened. Obviously, he’ll be aware that you don’t accept him for who he really is, which can make him believe that you don’t consider him good enough the way he is.
9. Don’t play mind games
I know you’ve been taught that men love giochi. E questo può essere vero all'inizio di una relazione.
Nevertheless, when things become a little more serious, the last thing any mature guy wants is to have a girlfriend he has to chase all the time. No, I am not saying that you should let him take you for granted but that doesn’t mean that you should play hard to get even after the two of you have defined your relationship.
Trust me—your boyfriend doesn’t want to waste his time on second-guessing your intentions or trying to interpret your mixed signals. Also, you don’t want to have a boyfriend who feels jealous all the time for the things you keep on doing because that is not proof of his love for you. Even if something like this is interesting to him in the beginning, eventually he’ll get tired of the chase and he’ll leave you hanging.
If this is something you want to avoid, don’t be scared of being clear about your feelings, desires and intentions. Show this man that you are a mature woman who knows what she wants and who isn’t afraid to get it.
10. Don’t be too shy in bed
We all have some boundaries and this is especially the case in the bedroom. Nonetheless, if you want to be a better girlfriend, you’ll want your boyfriend to be enchanted by your sexual skills because let’s face it—sex is always an important part of every relationship.
But how does one learn to be better in bed? The truth is that you don’t because there doesn’t exist a pattern of behavior and things that are good for everyone.
Instead, all you have to do is follow your gut and go with the flow. Be open to new things and experimenting, as long as you are comfortable with it, be completely honest and don’t fake anything. Remember that this is the guy you love and who loves you back and you aren’t doing anything inappropriate or forbidden so there is absolutely no room for being ashamed of anything.
Also, besides following your boyfriend’s needs, make sure you enjoy yourself because there is nothing that could turn your partner on more than that. Don’t be afraid to verbalize your desires because that can only help you two rock your bedroom life.
11. Don’t hold grudges
Another way toward your boyfriend’s love is through forgiveness. This is not me saying that you should put up with all of his crap and let him treat you the way he wants, I am just reminding you that a healthy relationship is based on compromise and that sometimes you have to perdonare se si vuole continuare ad andare avanti.
However, the most important thing is to really be sincere about the forgiveness you are giving because resentment and holding grudges won’t get you anywhere. Tell your boyfriend everything that is bothering you in time and don’t be passive-aggressive or give him the silent treatment when something is wrong because that will only cause your problems to pile up and will lead your relationship to failure. Be mature enough to confront your problems and show willingness to resolve them at the time they are happening.
12. Essere suo amico
When in a relationship, most women don’t know that they can’t be just their partner’s lover—they also need to show them that they are their friend. If you want your boyfriend to feel good next to you at all times, you have to show him that you are there for him, no matter what, and that you are the migliore amico he’ll ever have.
You should make sure he is comfortable around you and show him that you are worthy of his trust. You are the one who gets him completely and the one who’ll never judge him.
The one he can spend time with in complete silence, the one he can have a good time with and the one he can just hang out with. You are not only this guy’s girlfriend—you are also his partner in crime and his life companion—the one he should go to whenever he is in trouble and the one who will never turn her back on him.
13. Cercare sempre di apparire al meglio
La verità è che le cose che il vostro ragazzo ama di più di voi sono il vostro carattere e la vostra personalità. Tuttavia, gli uomini sono creature visive e la prima cosa di cui si innamorano è il vostro aspetto fisico.
A mistake many women make is forgetting the importance of looking their best once they are sure that they’ve won their boyfriend over and this is something you should never allow yourself to do. Instead, be aware of the fact that you should be seducing this guy every day throughout your relationship.
And the best way to do so is to always take care of your appearance. This doesn’t mean that you should always have full make-up on or that you should wear a gown every time you go out on a date. Just make sure to smell good and never to look messy or as if you couldn’t care less about the way he’ll see you.
14. Aumentare la fiducia in se stessi
Forget about all the things you’ve heard telling you that men are intimidated by strong women who know what they want. Don’t be scared that your fierce personality and independence will chase your boyfriend away because that is the last thing that will happen, if he is the right guy for you.
Instead, a real, mature man enjoys having a confident girlfriend. Show this guy that he can’t lower your self-esteem or feed your insecurities. Show him that you’ve worked hard on becoming the person you are today and that you are more than proud of being the woman you are.
Even though you shouldn’t hide the depth of your love for this man, it is also important for him to know that you can make it without him. For him to know that you don’t need him, that you consciously chose him to be a part of your life and that you would survive without him, despite the fact that you love him.
Questo tipo di approccio farà sicuramente innamorare il vostro ragazzo di voi come un matto. Inoltre, vi aiuterà a sfidarlo e aumenterà sicuramente il suo interesse per voi.
15. Amare di più se stessi
One of the most important things you need to be aware of is the fact that you can never be the best girlfriend ever until you become the best possible version of yourself in the first place. You can’t expect a man to love you and respect you until you do it yourself and you can’t have a healthy bond with someone else unless you build a healthy relationship with yourself in the first place.
Ecco perché amare se stessi è uno dei passi fondamentali per diventare una fidanzata migliore. È essere soddisfatti della propria vita e assicurarsi di sapere bene che si è più che sufficienti per essere amati da qualcuno.
È rendere felice se stessi prima di cercare di far sentire il proprio ragazzo allo stesso modo. È prendersi cura di se stessi prima di prendersi cura di lui e amare se stessi incondizionatamente prima di amare lui allo stesso modo.
Trust me—once your boyfriend sees that you know you are worthy of your own love, he won’t have any choice but to follow your lead and to see your true value. He won’t have any other choice but to love you back with the same intensity that you love him and to give you all the love you deserve.
