Mi sei mancato finché non ho capito che non sei mai stato mio

I always thought you were mine. I thought that you don’t want to be anybody else’s but mine. I had the feeling that you loved me and that you were actually giving me all I needed to be happy. In fact, I considered myself lucky to have someone like you in my life.

What I didn’t see was that you didn’t give me half the love I deserved. You didn’t give me the amount of love I gave to you. I had that strange feeling that something was not right, but I thought it was something that happens to all couples.

Ero così accecato dalle tue dolci parole, i tuoi giochi, and your actions that made me believe you were only mine. But the harsh truth was that you were everybody’s but mine. You gave your time and your love to women who didn’t deserve it.

L'hai dato così facilmente a tutti, ma non l'hai mai dato a me. Anche se ero l'unica ad amarti con tutto il cuore, non ho mai ottenuto quello che sognavo.

Non ho mai ricevuto quel tipo di amore vintage. Non ho mai avuto la sensazione che tu mi amassi e che fossi la persona più importante della tua vita.

Ho sempre dovuto cercare il tuo amore e la tua attenzione. Dovevo inseguirti se volevo che tu stessi con me. Ma a te piaceva questo gioco, perché era un'enorme spinta per il tuo ego.

You enjoyed every time I was losing my mind because you were sitting with another woman and watching her like you used to watch me. In moments like that, I felt like my whole world was falling apart, but you didn’t give a damn about that.

Era soddisfacente per te e continuavi a spezzare il mio cuore passo dopo passo. Volevi vedere quali erano i miei limiti e se alla fine avrei scelto me stessa o sarei tornata strisciando da te.

Amavi giocare con me, con le mie emozioni, con il mio buon senso. Tu mi fa impazziree in seguito mi avresti accusato di essere una regina del dramma.

You could never understand why I acted like that. You could never see how much I loved you. To be honest, you didn’t want to even try.
Ecco quanto poco mi hai amato.

Mentre io cercavo di salvare quello che avevamo, tu ti sei dato a tutte le donne che hai incontrato quel giorno. Tutte erano migliori di me. Tutte erano più belle, più intelligenti e più divertenti.

Sapete una cosa? In passato ero quella bella, quella intelligente e quella divertente.

Ma sai in cosa mi sono trasformato dopo che mi hai fatto cedere?
I turned into a woman who doesn’t feel like dressing up and looking good because even if I did that, I wasn’t beautiful enough for you.

Because of you, I didn’t engage in conversations anymore, so people would think that I don’t know anything about your ‘affairs’ and that was the reason I didn’t not say anything.

Because of you, I stopped being the fun girl since you took all my positive energy away and left me to wonder if I was good enough. I became a living corpse. I would spend the whole day analyzing why we aren’t working out and how I can improve so you would like me more.

What I couldn’t see was that I was all you ever wanted, but you were too scared that I would be the dominant one in our relationship. You saw that I can make all my dreams come true, and you were so terrified that you wouldn’t achieve your goals and that I will be better than you.

Sei stato un vigliacco che ha continuato a ferirmi senza lasciarmi andare. Ed è quello che sei anche adesso. Sei ancora un pezzo di merda, ma ho deciso che sarò felice.

Mi sei mancato, lo ammetto. Ma è successo solo quando ho capito che non sei mai stato mio. You were there with me physically, but you weren’t there in spirit.

All that you gave me wasn’t because you loved me. You did it to make me stay. In the end, you needed something you could name as a reason when I would say that I was leaving you.

And every time I planned to leave and start a new life, you would come and tell me that you would be lost without me, that I am the only light at the end of your tunnel, and that your life won’t have any purpose without me.

Così ho deciso di darti una seconda possibilità. E una terza. E una quarta. Ma poi ho capito che non stavi nemmeno cercando di farmi restare. Ci avresti provato solo per un giorno, e il giorno dopo avresti continuato come volevi.

That wasn’t something I wanted in my life. That wasn’t something I was satisfied with. So, I decided to let you go. I must admit that it isn’t easy to let go of someone you’ve loved for such a long time.

I still remember the sleepless nights I spent, thinking about you while you were probably in another woman’s bed. It took me so long, but in the end, I realized that I couldn’t miss someone who was never mine—at least not completely.

Ora, quando penso a te, dico a me stesso che eri solo una lezione Ho dovuto imparare. Purtroppo, in modo difficile. Ma grazie a te, non permetterò mai a un uomo di trattarmi come hai fatto tu.

Because of you, my heart is broken to pieces so small that they can’t be glued back together.

Because of you – I fell.

But because of myself – I will rise.