Come smettere di fuggire dai problemi e perché lo facciamo

We’ve all experienced it at some point. We worked really hard to accomplish something and we were full of determination, well, until it vanished and we started the race called running away from problems. 

Anche se non è mai stata nostra intenzione nascondere quel problema specifico sotto il tappeto, abbiamo deciso di farlo perché era più facile che affrontarlo in quel momento. 

Sebbene questo possa sembrare un metodo pratico, in realtà così facendo inganniamo noi stessi e peggioriamo la situazione.

Running away from our problems might reward us with short-term artificial happiness, but that’s all there is to it.

It’s one of the biggest delusions a lot of people deal with on a daily basis. Now, the question is: Why do we do it? 

Perché siamo scappare via dai nostri problemi quando sappiamo che alla fine ci raggiungeranno e trasformeranno la nostra vita in un vero e proprio inferno?

To that and many other questions (as well as solutions), you’ll find the answers below.

8 modi per smettere In fuga Dai vostri problemi e affrontateli al loro posto

Pausa e riflessione

Invece di farsi prendere dal panico per un determinato problema o di sentirsi sopraffatti da esso, fermatevi un attimo a riflettere.

Think about all decisions that you’ve made, what you could’ve done to make things better and how you can improve them now.

At this initial phase, you need to understand what’s happening in order to be able to face the problem.

Also, when you pause and reflect, you won’t get tempted to run away from your problems instead of facing them.

Sarete concentrati sulle cose che accadono intorno a voi e su come le percepite, il che vi porterà a capire una certa situazione.

L'unico momento in cui possiamo affrontare qualcosa è se lo comprendiamo completamente. 

La matematica è semplice:

Fermarsi e riflettere = Capire = Affrontare il problema.

Don’t blame other people or circumstances

When we’re feeling hopeless and helpless, we tend to blame other people or circumstances for the problem(s) we’re experiencing.

Lo facciamo soprattutto per giustificare la nostra decisione di fuggire dai problemi.

By blaming other people or circumstances, we’re telling the Universe that this is not our problem because someone else is to blame for it. Let me get one thing straight: Nessuno ha colpa di nulla.

So, make sure you don’t blame anyone around you, the circumstances, or yourself because that’s a surefire way to become passive and avoid dealing with the problem. Instead, be realistic about it. 

Accettare il problema così com'è e impegnarsi per trarre il meglio dalla situazione. 

Accogliere il disagio

One of the main reasons why we put our problems on hold is because we’re afraid to face and embrace discomfort. This always reminds me of the following lyrics by System Of A Down:

“‘Cause we are the ones that want to play

Voglia di andare sempre

Ma non vuoi mai rimanere

E siamo noi a voler scegliere

Voglia di giocare sempre

But you never want to lose…” (Aerials)

Possiamo applicare questa analogia a quasi tutto nella nostra vita e suona più o meno così: 

We want to lose weight, but we don’t want to break a sweat for a second or change our lifestyle.

We want a better job, but we don’t want to deal with the uncertainties and discomfort that come with finding a new one. 

Vogliamo sperimentare amore incondizionato, but we’re not ready to reciprocate, invest and make an effort. 

Invece di fare le cose di cui sopra, uscite dalla vostra zona di comfort, abbracciatela e tenete presente che nulla di buono nella vita arriva facilmente. 

Bisogna sudare, affrontare le incertezze e fare uno sforzo se si vuole imparare a gestire i propri problemi ed evolvere.

Evitare di crogiolarsi nell'autocommiserazione

Ricordate che l'autocommiserazione è una delle più grandi perdite di tempo. Non risolverà i vostri problemi e non vi farà sentire meglio. 

In poche parole, non vi porterà nulla di buono, ma solo a prolungare la sofferenza.

Quindi, invece di crogiolarsi nell'autocommiserazioneconcentrarsi sul miglioramento di sé. Vivere i problemi della vita come un'opportunità per crescere, invece di nascondersi nella paura. 

Che oggi sia l'ultima volta che scappate dai vostri problemi, perché sapete che potete fare di meglio!

Iniziare a lavorare per trovare soluzioni e sviluppare un piano

Dopo aver identificato il problema, iniziate a cercare delle soluzioni. Se il vostro problema è il sovrappeso, la soluzione logica è perdere peso, giusto? Ora dovete sviluppare un piano per farlo. 

You have the option to go for a walk, go for a run, hit the gym regularly, change your diet (eat healthier food) and probably there are some more options, but we won’t go that far.

After you’ve listed all your options, you have to make a schedule and stick to it!

When you have everything organized, there are fewer chances that you’ll run away from your new regimen.

Valutate i vostri progressi alla fine della giornata e premiatevi di conseguenza per aver raggiunto i vostri obiettivi. obiettivi personali. 

(Questo metodo funziona per qualsiasi problema).

Cercare supporto

Don’t be afraid of seeking help and support from your loved ones, support groups, your family, close friends, a mental health professional and so on. 

Chances are that half of the people you know have gone through the same problem you’re going through now. 

And even if they haven’t, they can still enrich your perspective, give you helpful advice, suggest solutions and support you through the entire process of dealing with your problem. 

“If you’re out there and need help, please seek it. Be proud of your valiant day-to-day struggle. There is no shame in needing support.” – Jared Padalecki

Vedi anche: Bilanciare questi 10 aspetti della vita è la chiave della vera felicità

Essere persistenti e pazienti

Indipendentemente dal tipo di problema, dal metodo per risolverlo e da tutti gli altri fattori, ricordate di essere sempre persistenti e pazienti, perché questa è la chiave del successo. 

When you start dealing with your problems, you will probably go through lots of ups and downs, moments filled with a lack of motivation and similar and that’s completely normal. 

So, don’t let that discourage you from achieving your goals and instead use escapism as a form of coping mechanism. 

Tutte queste cose fanno parte del processo che porta al successo. 

Life doesn’t come with instructions, so we have to make mistakes and fall a few times in order to get up stronger, learn new things, and improve our strategy. 

All you need to do is believe that you can, do your best, be patient and you’ll already be halfway to solving your problem!

3 Most Common Reasons Why We’re Scappare dai problemi

We’re afraid of dealing with the problems head-on

One of the biggest and most universally known reasons why we run away from our problems is because we’re afraid of dealing with them directly and openly. 

Ci diciamo cose come: “Oh, there is plenty of time. I’ll affrontarlo tomorrow/next week/(next year?)”

Ci convinciamo che affrontare il problema che abbiamo di fronte non è una cosa da fare. elenco delle priorità at the moment because, as always, we have other “more important things” to do. 

Sometimes, those things really are more important, but this doesn’t mean that we should run away from problems or postpone them for an eternity. Come sempre, la chiave è l'organizzazione. 

But, unfortunately, we often forget that or we don’t want to remind ourselves of that, so we decide to leave those problems for better days, when dealing with them will be more convenient for us.

But, will those better days ever come? Hmm…

We’re afraid of the outcome

Ogni volta che ci troviamo ad affrontare un problema (soprattutto se si tratta di un problema importante), la prima cosa che ci viene in mente è la seguente: What if I don’t succeed? What if I make things even worse than they were?

Queste e altre domande simili ci impediscono di continuare ad affrontare i nostri problemi perché abbiamo paura del risultato potenziale.

So, let’s say that you’re in college at the moment and you have a crucial exam in the near future.

La pressione per superarlo è davvero alta e la si sente con ogni fibra del proprio essere.

Che cosa fate? Iniziate a studiare per l'esame imminente o rinunciate a tutto per paura di fallire? 

Some people choose the first method (dealing with the problem), while others opt for the other one (running away from the problem) because they’re afraid of the outcome. 

La paura è una delle emozioni più potenti dell'universo e può costringerci ad agire in modo irresponsabile e strano. 

Even though we’re aware of the fact that our actions cannot be justified, we still act that way because in our mind it was the right thing to do.

We’re afraid of losing something/someone

This one is especially true when it comes to running away from relationship problems. It’s when you’re perfectly aware of the fact that things have gone south and your relationship is no longer healthy.

You wish things were different or like they used to be before, but you don’t want to do anything about it. Why? Because you’re afraid of the entire process that might take a turn in the wrong direction. 

Si vuole evitare di discutere, litigare, dover spiegare continuamente le cose e simili, perché si pensa che facendo tutto questo le cose potrebbero degenerare.

So, you choose to stay silent and passive for the time being (or forever?) because you don’t want to lose that person.

You don’t want to risk losing them because you think your life won’t be the same without them. And that might be true, but staying in an unhealthy relationship can ruin both partner’s mental health.

Anche in questo caso, la paura può essere così potente da paralizzarci e influenzare la qualità delle nostre relazioni e della vita in generale.

7 Reasons Why We Shouldn’t Run Away From Problems

Fuggendo dai problemi, si prende una scorciatoia (o una via d'uscita facile).

I’ve never been a fan of taking shortcuts or easy ways out because I’ve realized that they DON’T teach you anything! And this can be applied to every aspect of our lives. 

Running away from your problems teaches you impatience and neglecting the importance of making an effort. There’s no chance that you’ll learn something new if you don’t face it or fight for it. 

The easy way out doesn’t teach you anything valuable and that’s why you should NEVER run away from your problems if you want to evolve as a person. 

La pazienza, lo sforzo e la perseveranza sono alcune delle cose più importanti che impariamo nel corso della nostra vita e ci rendono più forti e più saggi.

I vostri problemi rimangono ancora 

Many people think that if they decide to run away from their problems, those problems will vanish into thin air. But, just because you aren’t dealing with them actively, this doesn’t mean that they no longer exist.

La verità è che, per quante volte possiate scappare da qualcosa, quella cosa rimarrà comunque nella vostra MENTE. Perché non potete ordinare alla vostra mente di smettere di pensarci!

The things we run away from and all the unsaid words haunt us on a subconscious level which means we won’t even be aware of it. (Ma il nostro corpo e la nostra mente ne saranno sicuramente consapevoli).

Spesso le persone che scappano dai loro problemi iniziano a sperimentare i sintomi mentali e fisici della loro decisione.

Potrebbero avere difficoltà ad addormentarsi perché la coscienza li tormenta, oppure potrebbero sviluppare attacchi di panico e simili.

The bottom line is that problems will still remain, just in another form that can be harmful for both your mind and body (until you decide to face the thing(s) you’ve run away from). 

Si ha paura di connettersi e di investire

When we’re running away from our problems, we start having a hard time investing and connecting with others.

Nel profondo del nostro cuore sappiamo che quando o se si presenta un certo problema (che sia in una relazione o in un'amicizia), scappiamo via.

When we know that we won’t stick around when things get tough, we become more cautious about establishing and maintaining connections. 

Let’s say that you’ve met a great guy/girl and everything is running smoothly, until one day something (and it can be just about anything) happens.

Potrebbero avere problemi di salute mentale o familiari, che influenzano anche voi perché si aspettano che li sosteniate.

Oppure la vostra relazione potrebbe rimanere bloccati in una routineQuindi è necessario trovare un modo per rendere le cose di nuovo eccitanti.

Now, if you’re a person who usually runs away from problems, that’s exactly what you’ll do in these situations as well. 

Così, la prossima volta che incontrerete qualcuno di nuovo, avrete paura di entrare in contatto con lui perché sapete che alla fine potreste scappare di nuovo.

Vedi anche: 7 segni di filofobia: la paura di innamorarsi

Scappare dai propri problemi porta a scappare da se stessi.

Did you know that running away from problems actually means that you’re running away from yourself? Yup. And we all know that we can’t run away from ourselves no matter how hard we try.

Dato che questi problemi sono ancora memorizzati in un compartimento speciale del nostro cervello, l'unico modo per fuggire da essi sarebbe quello di sperimentare un'amnesia (una forma di perdita di memoria) causata solitamente da un danno cerebrale.

Since the majority of us are not that lucky (sarcasm intended), we don’t have a choice but to keep carrying problems with us as we’re actively running from them.

Or better said, as we’re actively running from ourselves.

It’s a limbo that can only be escaped by deciding to face problems instead of playing hide and seek with them.

Vi fa sentire senza speranza

The truth is, you can TRY to run away from problems, but you can’t run away from il senso di disperazione che ne deriva. 

It’s when you’re alone and reflecting on everything that’s happened that you suddenly realize that you might have made a mistake by not facing that one problem.

It’s when you’re having difficulties falling asleep because you can’t stop thinking about that one thing you had to deal with, but for some reason you didn’t. 

Le parole non dette, le azioni e i desideri non realizzati sono i demoni che ci perseguitano sempre di notte. Tutti questi incontri vi fanno sentire senza speranza, perché sentite ancora il peso della vostra decisione di scappare.

Attirate altri problemi nella vostra vita (e continuate a scappare anche da loro).

Una volta che si scappa dai problemi, questa diventa la routine, perché un problema è collegato a migliaia di altri. 

Ad esempio, non riuscite a superare un esame che era fondamentale per finire l'università, trovare un lavoro, trasferirsi in un'altra città e così via.

All these events are interconnected and they all depend on that one decision “to study for an exam or not”. 

You realize that things have gone south and whatever happens next, you’ll just avoid dealing with it as well. You end up in a loop that is far away from a happy place.

È una gara che non vincerete mai

I’ve learned the hard way that running away from my problems is a race that I can never win. It is an ongoing problem that will keep creeping on you until you decide to face it. 

The moment you decide to run away from problems, you doom yourself because you know you’ll never win.

Potete continuare a correre per molto tempo, ma a un certo punto dovrete tornare indietro al punto in cui siete partiti. 

Quindi, perché affrontare queste difficoltà quando si può andare al sodo concentrandosi sulla ricerca di una soluzione per il proprio problema? Sì, questa è la vera domanda. 

25 citazioni ispiratrici sulla fuga dai problemi

1. “I don’t run away from a challenge because I am afraid. Instead, I run toward it because the only way to escape fear is to trample it beneath your feet.” – Nadia Comaneci

2. “Going away won’t change anything if you’re running from yourself.” – Joyce Rachelle

3. “Wherever you go, there you are! You can’t run away from yourself, or the underlying situation, no matter where you go. You won’t find happiness anywhere, unless it’s already there in your heart, and therefore you have carried it with you.” – Andrew James Pritchard, Sukiyaki

4. “Running is the easiest solution to every problem. The capability of choosing this option on the basis of problem defines your personality.” – David Barik

5. “A lot of people think moving will solve their problems, when what they’re really doing is running away.” – Roxanne Snopek, The Chocolate Cure

6. “We feel that we can hide or run from problems, but we fail to understand that it isn’t the problem we hide or run from, but our capacity to handle that problem. Problems regularly attack due to our vulnerability to the problem; we often look at [the] situation giving us the stress & consider stress as the problem, but stress isn’t the problem, it’s our feeling or understanding of that situation which causes the stress.

Ci allontaniamo, proviamo a meditare, assumiamo farmaci e ci dedichiamo ad attività che ringiovaniscono il cervello. In questo modo, lo stress sparisce. Continuiamo la nostra vita e dopo un po' anche la sensazione di allegria svanisce e ricominciamo a essere stressati.

Problems are most vulnerable when it’s in the seed stage, but we water them with our ignorance or lack of attention and one day they become bigger than our expectation & imagination. We can still fight it, but we underestimate our capabilities & keep running away, that process gives it more nutrition to grow even bigger, and since we run away without solving them, they keep following us in new disguises; finally, one day we run out of places to run to and are left with stress, depressione, and anxiety.” – Shahenshah Hafeez Khan

7. “Acceptance of one’s life has nothing to do with resignation; it does not mean running away from the struggle. On the contrary, it means accepting it as it comes, with all the handicaps of heredity, of suffering, of psychological complexes and injustices.” – Paul Tournier

8. “What is needed, rather than running away or controlling or suppressing or any other resistance, is understanding fear; that means, watch it, learn about it, come directly into contact with it. We are to learn about fear, not how to escape from it.” – Jiddu Krishnamurti

9. “You can always improve your situation. But you do so by facing it, not by running away.” – Brad Warner

10. “Courage is a terribly important value. It means you don’t run away when things are tough. It means you don’t turn away from a friend when he or she is in trouble. It means standing up against the majority opinion… There’s a lot of people who won’t wear it on their sleeve, or display it through some heroic act. But courage is having the strength to do what’s honorable and decent.” – George H. W. Bush

11. “Stop leaving and you will arrive, stop searching and you will see, stop running away and you will be found.” – Laozi

12. “You can’t run away from yourself.” – Bob Marley

13. “To remain stable is to refrain from trying to separate yourself from a pain because you know that you cannot. Running away from fear is fear, fighting pain is pain, trying to be brave is being scared. If the mind is in pain, the mind is pain. The thinker has no other form than his thought. There is no escape.” – Alan Watts

14. “Running away will never make you free.” – Kenny Loggins

15. “You can run but you can’t hide.” – Emily Giffin

16. “Danger – if you meet it promptly and without flinching – you will reduce the danger by half. Never run away from anything. Never!” – Winston Churchill

17. “Running away from things you find unpleasant causes suffering. But facing and challenging such situations will enrich your life.” – Senora Roy

18. “Running away from the problem only increases the distance from the solution.” – Nishan Panwar

19. “Running away was easy; not knowing what to do next was the hard part.” – Glenda Millard

20. “We acquire the strength we have overcome.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

21. “Nothing ever goes away until it teaches us what we need to know.” – Pema Chodron

22. “We run away all the time to avoid coming face to face with ourselves.” – Unknown

23. “Acceptance of one’s life has nothing to do with resignation; it does not mean running away from the lotta. On the contrary, it means accepting it as it comes, with all the handicaps of heredity, of suffering, of psychological complexes and injustices.” – Dr. Paul Tournier

24. “When someone is trying very hard to get something, they don’t. And when they’re running away from something as hard as they can, it usually catches up with them.” – Haruki Murakami

25. “Trying to run away is never the answer to being a fully human. Running away from the immediacy of our experience is like preferring death to life.” – Pema Chodron

L'unico modo per risolvere un problema è affrontarlo!

Scappare dai problemi è come entrare in una strada senza uscita.

You can hide there for awhile and think that you’ve managed to run away from your problems, but eventually you will have to go back and face them.

Affrontare i problemi invece di fuggire da essi è l'unico modo per essere in pace con se stessi e vivere una vita felice.

Perseverare e non arrendersi mai finché non si trova una soluzione rende più forti e più saggi!

Sono queste le qualità che dovete coltivare perché vi aiuteranno a raggiungere il vostro pieno potenziale e a diventare la versione migliore di voi stessi.

Vedi anche: 8 problemi nelle relazioni a distanza (e come farli funzionare)