20 consigli per smettere di crogiolarsi nell'autocommiserazione
Society tends to look down on people who seem weak in the face of their misfortunes. When someone who’s been through a hard time shows that they’re persevering against all odds, they’re praised for being brave.
D'altra parte, le persone che si autocommiserano vengono guardate dall'alto in basso. ‘Stop indulging in a pity party’ is a synonym for telling someone, ‘Stop being weak and do something about it.’
Some people aren’t as strong as others, but they still deserve understanding and kindness. Le persone che finiscono per crogiolarsi nell'autocommiserazione si fanno del male da sole. because they don’t know how to move on or because they get something out of it they can’t get elsewhere.
If you feel like you’ve been stuck in a rut of self-loathing and wondering why it’s all happening to you, there’s a way to move on, and it all starts with a little self-compassion.
Smettere di crogiolarsi nell'autocommiserazione grazie all'autocompassione
È difficile trovare una via d'uscita dal ciclo infinito di crogiolarsi nell'autocommiserazione e cadere sempre più nella vergogna. The longer you’re stuck in it, the more you get used to feeling sorry for yourself, and moving on seems impossible.
Sometimes you just need to catch a break – all it takes is for one good thing to happen to you and shake things up. But when you feel like the world is against you, a chance to stop feeling broken rarely comes along, so there’s only one thing you can do: creare le proprie opportunità.
Pretending your feelings don’t exist isn’t a sign of strength. To move on, you need to deal with them. It’s the hardest job you’ll ever have, but doing it will start your transformation.
1. Iniziare con la compassione per se stessi
Compatirsi è una forma di disprezzo per se stessi. You think that whatever you do, you can’t get what you want and only bad things happen to you. Questo vi fa invidiare coloro che sembrano avere la loro vita in ordine e vi fa vergognare perché vi sentite you’re not good enough.
You hate yourself because you have no self-compassion and can’t accept these feelings. Once you choose to tell yourself, ‘It’s okay,’ things will start to get better.
2. Trattate voi stessi come fareste con un amico
How to develop compassion for yourself when you think you’re the worst, so the world is the worst to you? Dovete decidere di cambiare il disprezzo per se stessi in amore per se stessi.
This love must be unconditional – dovete amare voi stessi, a prescindere da tutto. You need to love yourself despite your flaws and things you don’t like about yourself. Only when you get there can you start treating yourself like a loved one.
Treat yourself how you’d treat a beloved friend if they were in the same situation as you are now.
3. Parlare con un terapeuta
Ciò che sembra autocommiserazione può talvolta essere depressione clinica.
La visita a uno psicoterapeuta può essere la pausa di cui avete bisogno, se questo è il caso o meno. Se siete depressi, vi daranno dei farmaci che possono essere di grande aiuto in un breve periodo di tempo e vi indirizzeranno a un centro per la cura delle malattie. counseling, which is absolutely necessary when you’re depressed.
If you aren’t, talking to a professional is still incredibly helpful for your mental health and will jump-start your journey of moving away from self-pity,
4. Affrontare i propri sentimenti
Bad things happen to everyone, but when you feel like there’s no end to them, falling into a pit of despair is easy. You ask yourself, “Why me? Why is it all happening to you? Why can’t you be happier, healthier, taller, smarter, different?”
Questi feelings that you don’t deserve to be happy – self-doubt, envy, feeling sorry for yourself, shame – are still your feelings, and you can’t ignore them. Feel them fully and understand them, and then you’ll be able to deal with them.
5. Costruire l'autostima
Una bassa autostima può essere sia la causa che l'effetto dell'autocommiserazione, provocando un circolo vizioso da cui sembra non esserci scampo. È possibile interrompere il ciclo scegliendo di smettere di concentrarsi sulle cose negative: le cose brutte che vi sono successe e le cattive opinioni che avete di voi stessi.
Accettare se stessi è il modo per iniziare costruire la fiducia in se stessi. It’s a long process, taking a day at a time, but it will completely change your outlook and how you live your life.
6. Prendere il controllo della propria vita
Feeling like bad luck follows you is what makes you believe that your life isn’t under your control. Even so, you must decide that you still have choices. There’s always a choice, no matter how bad things get.
Avete la possibilità di scegliere come reagire: vi fermate o continuate ad andare avanti? Invece di lasciare che i sentimenti di autocommiserazione vi fermino, lavorate per trasformare la pietà in compassione e motivazione.
7. Smettere di vittimizzarsi
When something bad happens, do you just take it? It’s okay not to have the strength to fight back the way you want to, but Una cosa che non si deve mai fare è accettare che le cose accadano e basta. Questa è una mentalità da vittima e non serve a nulla se non a farvi sentire impotenti e persi.
Your circumstances might be different than what you’d like them to be, but your life is your own, and you do have control over it.
8. Assumersi la responsabilità
When you decide that you’re done having things happen to you, you assume responsabilità personale per la vostra vita. Things that happen don’t determine who you are and how you should live – you’re the only one who does.
To take responsibility means to stop blaming, expecting, and enduring. It means to begin doing, changing, and moving. It’s liberating, and once you choose to make your own decisions and stand behind them, you won’t go back to wallowing in self-pity.
9. Fate cose che vi danno un senso di realizzazione.
To feel happy, people need a sense of joy and a sense of accomplishment in their lives. When you’re not feeling okay, both of these might seem like a distant dream, but you can do it.
Start small and do something good for yourself today that you didn’t do yesterday. Finish any task, no matter how easy, and for now, that’s enough. Do it every day until you feel like you can accomplish more, and soon, those good things will become a habit. Continuate ad andare avanti e ad avanzare.
10. Fate cose che vi danno un senso di gioia
Come si può risollevare l'umore quando niente ti porta gioia? Quando sembra che nulla possa rendervi felici, cercate la più piccola scintilla. Trovate un modo per provare qualsiasi tipo di conforto e fatelo regolarmente.
Maybe pampering yourself won’t make you happy, but it feels good. Playing with a pet or a child can put a smile on your face. Talking to a loved one, listening to your favorite song, taking a walk, or anything that seems like it should make you happy might not do it right now, but keep doing them.
Even if you believe that these little things aren’t doing anything, they are – you just need to let yourself feel it.
11. Aiutare altre persone
Calling someone less fortunate isn’t helpful because to everyone, their own struggle is the hardest. Still, aiutare gli altri con i loro problemi sposta la prospettiva dai propri problemi.
When you do things for others, you feel like you’re part of something bigger than yourself. Making someone’s life a little easier is its own reward, but it also helps you feel connected to others and shifts the focus from yourself.
12. Affrontare i problemi uno alla volta
You can’t solve everything that’s bothering you at once and magically become a new version of yourself. Things, unfortunately, don’t work that way. You must, however, start somewhere.
Un problema in meno significa più di quanto si pensi. By dealing with what bothers you one at a time, the list gets shorter. Think about it this way: in a year’s time, do you want things to be the same or better?
13. Learn to accept what you can’t change
You already know that you should let go of things, but how can you do that when you’re still feeling the effects? Si lascia andare facendo del proprio meglio per migliorare le cose, poi accepting that there are some things you can’t change.
This doesn’t mean that you should be complacent and accept everything but that you should do the best you can with what you have and work on the things that can be different.
14. Esercitarsi a essere forti
Bottling up your feelings isn’t what being strong is about. Feel your pain, disappointment, sense of inadequacy, but then choose to be positive – this is cosa significa essere forti.
Essere in contatto con la propria mente e i propri sentimenti e fare tutto il possibile con quello che si ha è difficile. Arrendersi e soccombere all'autocommiserazione è più facile, ma fa più male. Choose today to do something good with your life, and tomorrow, you’ll be better. Più ci si esercita, più diventa facile.
15. Capire cos'è davvero la forza di volontà
People who accomplish something that seems unreachable are praised for their willpower, but do you really know what that means? Willpower isn’t going against what you want – it’s the opposite: it’s finding the strength to do something difficult because you want it so much.
Once you decide that you want to stop wallowing in self-pity and change your life, you’ll be able to do it. Quando si vuole davvero qualcosa, fare di tutto per ottenerla è facile.
16. Riconoscere il pensiero negativo
When you think negative thoughts regularly, they become part of you, and you don’t realize that this is what they are. Imparate a identificare i pensieri negativi per poterli fermare sul nascere.
I pensieri negativi si affacciano alla mente da soli e influenzano il nostro comportamento. They’re not helpful and hold you back. Imparate a riconoscerli e a sfidarli.
17. Trovare un senso di gratitudine
L'autocommiserazione può essere autoindulgente. There’s a comfort in helplessness and blaming the world that can give you a sense of validation, but it only hurts you.
Instead of focusing on everything that’s gone wrong, choose to feel grateful for the good things. There’s always something that you have that you’re taking for granted. Contate le vostre benedizioni e siate riconoscenti. Questa visione positiva può cambiare la vostra vita in meglio.
18. Imparare ad adattarsi
What about the things you don’t like and can’t change? Once you accept them, you must learn to work with what you have. Adattarsi alle circostanze è l'unico modo per crescere.
Clinging to the things you’re unhappy about only brings more unhappiness. Quando scegliete come reagire alle cose che vi capitano, le delusioni possono trasformarsi in opportunità.
19. Vivere il presente
Rimanere bloccati nel passato e soffermarsi sulle cose che sono successe non fa altro che frenarvi. Scegliere di vivere nel qui e ora è ciò che serve per andare avanti. Don’t let the past rob you of your present and future.
Praticare la consapevolezza per concentrarsi sul momento presente. Concentratevi sulle cose che sono, non su quelle che erano e su quelle che potrebbero essere.
20. Scegliere di andare avanti
If you‘ve gone through all the tips, you’ve learned one thing: fai la tua strada. Life doesn’t happen to you – you’re the one who makes your own choices. So choose to move forward.
Embrace change and realize that you’re in control. Be kind and patient with yourself, but show yourself love by doing what’s best for you, and that’s deciding to stop wallowing in self-pity.
In sintesi
Per smettere di crogiolarsi nell'autocommiserazione e trovare altrove la convalida di cui avete bisogno, dovete imparare ad amare voi stessi e a mostrare questo amore in ogni modo necessario. When you love someone, you’ll do things that are good for them, no matter how difficult and unpleasant they might be.
When you feel love and compassion for yourself, you’ll understand why self-pity only hurts you and do your best to move on.
