Cos'è il codice delle ragazze? Le 10 regole principali e quando è giusto infrangerle
I once noticed my best friend texting my ex-boyfriend. When I confronted her, she was slightly confused because she didn’t see it as a big deal. She never perceived him as a potential partner but rather as solo un amico.
Still, I wasn’t okay with the situation. It bothered me that she was close to someone who still matters to me.
Ora, ogni volta che si parlano, lei me ne parla casualmente. Sa quanto mi stia a cuore, quindi si assicura di farmi sapere delle loro conversazioni (cosa che accade raramente).
Ha preferito la mia felicità a una potenziale amicizia. Perché? Una parola: codice femminile.
Che cos'è il codice delle ragazze? Quali sono le regole che lo compongono? Si possono mai infrangere queste regole, se necessario?
Beh, amici lettori, se continuate a leggere, avrete tutte le risposte!
Che cos'è il Codice delle ragazze?
Il codice delle ragazze indica essenzialmente un elenco di regole non scritte che tutte le ragazze seguono senza alcun dubbio. These rules don’t just apply to your close friends, but to all women out there!
If one of them needs a tampon, you aren’t going to just stand there knowing full well that you have an extra in your purse!
Il punto cruciale è che date valore alle vostre amicizie femminili (o potenziali tali) al di sopra di ogni altra cosa. Nessun amico o fidanzato potrà mai prendere il loro posto!
Quali sono le regole del codice femminile?
Le regole del codice femminile sono molte. Al centro di esse ci sono rispetto reciproco e apprezzamento.
Ma cosa significa veramente?
Come si manifestano questi tratti nel nostro comportamento?
Che cos'è il codice delle ragazze e come lo mettete in pratica?
Well, if you’re desperately curious about the answers, read on to find out! These are some of the rules of girl code:
1. Niente piccole bugie bianche
Se pensate che un altro tipo di vestito per il compleanno sia più adatto a lei, perché non dirglielo?
If you think the picture she posted on social media doesn’t accentuate her best features, why not be honest about it?
You don’t have to be rude and make her feel unattractive or incapable. Just condividete i vostri pensieri reali, and then it’s up to her to do what she wants!
2. La moralità è un concetto sociale
One of the major problems nowadays is girls judging each other for their sexual experiences. If you’re too experienced, you’re a ‘hoe,’ and if you’re a virgin, you’re ‘boring.’ Stop this.
Does a man’s approval really matter so much that you’re willing to degrade young women who’ve done you no harm?
Wouldn’t it be more fulfilling to support their bold life choices and be inspired by them?
3. Le parole hanno conseguenze
Essere gelosi di un'altra donna is just a sign of how much you don’t appreciate yourself. It’s okay not to like someone and how they behave, but devoting your time to provide extensive commentary on their life is unnecessary and toxic.
Instead of calling another girl ugly, praise her beauty! Instead of saying her success isn’t earned, congratulate her! You’ll see how much better you’ll feel and what grandi obbligazioni you’ll create!
4. La zona proibita
If you were contemplating dating your best friend’s ex-boyfriend… stop it right now. E' OFF LIMITS!
Think about it: How would you feel if she came up to you and said that she’s interested in someone you had a thing with? Would you be okay with it? Or would you feel like your friend has betrayed you?
Some people simply belong in the forbidden zone, and you shouldn’t approach them for the sake of your friendship. Always put your friend first!
5. Non c'è spazio per le parole dure
Cosa fate quando la vostra amica del cuore si definisce poco attraente?
What do you say when she feels that she’s non abbastanza buono?
I hope you don’t stay silent! In moments like these, she needs your encouragement and support the most. Think about the times you felt this way.
Didn’t you desperately want someone to show you how inaccurate your self-perception was?
6. Her life – her decisions
It’s not uncommon for us not to like our friend’s boyfriend. However, as much as i nostri sentimenti sono validi, we’re still non possono interferire con la loro relazione.
Express how you feel about him and state whatever it is that’s bothering you so much, but keep in mind that it’s her life we’re talking about here.
7. L'amicizia comporta delle responsabilità
If you’re having a girls’ night out and notice your friend’s interested in a guy but isn’t entirely sure come organizzare un primo appuntamento, allora essere la migliore spalla che il mondo abbia mai visto!
Help your best friend’s crush see her most extraordinary qualities. Don’t let her stand in a corner all alone and sad because she doesn’t know how to hook up with him!
Remember – her happiness is your responsibility.
8. Persone primarie e secondarie
One of the rules of guy code is ‘bros before hoes.’ Well, us girls aren’t any different.
Che cos'è il codice delle ragazze?
Ci mettiamo l'un l'altra al primo posto. Non ci tradiamo mai per un ragazzo perché riteniamo la nostra amicizia la cosa più importante, mentre possiamo sempre trovare facilmente un'altra cotta!
9. Combattere insieme le battaglie
Come vi comportate quando il vostro migliore amico litiga?
Restate a guardare o la sostenete?
If it’s the former, you might want to rethink your ways. Us girls need to stick up for each other. Don’t let your bestie fight her battles alone.
10. L'onestà è la migliore politica
Don’t even think about talking behind your friend’s back! Whatever you have to say, say it to her face. Practice healthy communication because gossip doesn’t help solve the issue.
Besides, doesn’t she deserve to hear how you feel?
Isn’t your friendship strong enough to withstand anything you have to say?
Questi sono solo i primi 10, tra i molti altri regole del codice delle ragazze d'oro! C'è molto di più in questo concetto sconcertante!
È giusto infrangere il codice delle ragazze?
Yes…. depending on the rule.
As you’re probably aware, no rule is flawless, and there are always situations where we simply have to break them.
Che tipo di situazioni sono queste quando si parla di codice femminile? È davvero giusto tradire un'amica in questo modo?
Well, worry not, because all your thoughts are about to be clarified. Read on to see when it’s okay to break girl code and when it isn’t.
When it’s OK
As we’ve established, breaking certain rules isn’t as bad as they paint it to be. It shouldn’t always be perceived as betrayal.
Se questo vi sembra troppo scioccante, ecco alcune situazioni che potrebbero farvi cambiare opinione:
1. Your friend doesn’t respect the code either.
Onestamente, se your friend doesn’t care about your feelings, you’re not obligated to respect hers either. Of course, this doesn’t mean that you should do your best to hurt her in any way.
Significa semplicemente che non dovreste mai mettere a repentaglio la vostra felicità per il suo bene. That’s not ‘bitchy’ behavior. If she once flirted with your crush, don’t feel guilty for flirting with hers (although that’s definitely not the wisest course of action).
The best thing that you could do is end the friendship. There’s no point in hanging out with someone who doesn’t see your friendship as the sacred connection that it is… or at least that it should be.
2. Their beef isn’t necessarily yours.
Let’s face it – we all have someone we hate. And, we usually expect our best friends to hate them, too, especially in high school. While it’s important to support them in cases of utter mistreatment, their enemy doesn’t always have to be yours.
I remember struggling with my feelings towards my ex’s new girlfriend. Most of my friends loved her… even I did. But at moments when I didn’t, I never got angry with them for not ‘feeling my feelings.’
That’s not a reasonable thing to expect. They have the right to like whoever they want, and so do you.
3. You can date their ex if they’re okay with it.
Dating your friend’s ex is a strange step to take. However, if they genuinely give their consent, what’s stopping you?
Just make sure that they mean it. They may have your happiness in mind without caring how it will actually affect them. If they’re that type of person, it’s up to you to take care of them.
If you sense that they still have feelings for them, don’t pursue the relationship. Mettete la vostra amicizia al primo posto. A volte dobbiamo fare dei sacrifici. Questo sarebbe il vostro.
4. Interferire con le sue relazioni se si tratta di abusi.
I cannot stress this enough – if you notice any sign of physical or abuso emotivo in your friend’s relationship, please do something.
Talk to her and encourage her to abandon her partner. Convince her that she deserves much better than what she’s got! You can’t do much until she realizes that she should liberarsi.
You’d be surprised how hard that can be. Women are so often subjected to gaslighting e, believing everything’s their fault, they never even think of finding a way out. They believe they don’t even need it.
Even when they want a way out, they don’t know how. Play your part and show them.
5. If she’s really happy, let her be.
Sure, you can tell her that her outfit doesn’t suit her. But, if you see that she’s truly happy just being a ragazza incasinata, don’t be pushy.
La sua felicità conta più di ogni altra cosa. Lasciatele indossare ciò che le fa sentire a proprio agio! Lasciatele fare ciò che le piace, anche se sembra sciocco!
You don’t need to lie nor suppress your opinions. But think about it: Isn’t your goal to support her when she obviously feels good about herself?
When it isn’t OK
While it’s okay to break the girl code sometimes, we should remember that it exists for a reason. Certain lines should never be crossed.
But what lines are those? Here’s your answer:
1. Prova ancora dei sentimenti per il suo ex.
If your friend is still in love with her ex-boyfriend, and that still doesn’t stop you from hooking up with him, that’s not very thoughtful of you.
Un'azione del genere manca dell'empatia che contraddistingue una vera amicizia. You’re indifferent about her feelings and care about nothing but your own happiness.
Il fatto che la vostra nuova relazione riapra vecchie ferite e ne crei di nuove non vi riguarda perché, dopo tutto, avete ottenuto ciò che volevate, giusto?
Even the sincerest of apologies can’t excuse your behavior. Why? Because they’re just words. Your actions tell an entirely different story, and that is: you don’t care about your friendship.
2. You’re supporting her abuser/leaving her alone to deal with them.
It’s true that our friend’s nemesis isn’t necessarily our own. However, when that nemesis so clearly does her harm, I hope you realize that it’s your job to defend her.
You can’t leave her alone in a hurtful situation because that’s not come si tratta un migliore amico! They don’t just leave when times are hard! They all stick together!
Moreover, don’t support their abuser. This can be hard as we often don’t know come identificare l'abuso, but it’s very possible to learn.
Il punto fondamentale è che dovete sempre prendere le difese del vostro amico. Potete criticarlo in privato, ma in pubblico dovete sempre stare al suo fianco!
3. She’s happy with her boyfriend, but you keep talking badly about him.
What is girl code? Essentially, if you don’t like her boyfriend, for no valid reason, here’s what you need to remember:
You don’t have the right to try to convince her that he’s not the right guy. After all, you’re not the one dating him.
Le vostre preferenze personali non hanno alcun ruolo nella sua vita sentimentale. Il vostro unico compito è quello di essere onesti con lei, sostenendola in qualsiasi cosa scelga.
If you see that she’s happy, be happy for her. It really is that simple.
4. Avete risentito di lei per molte cose, ma non ne avete mai parlato apertamente.
I know it’s not always easy to talk about what bothers you. This is why I advise you to take some time to process how you feel. Just make sure you eventually verbalize it… to the right person.
Venting to someone else about a problem you have with your friend isn’t necessarily gossip. Maybe you just don’t know how to approach the problem.
Una volta la mia compagna di stanza mi ha detto di aprirsi a un'altra persona if I’m unable to say it to her. I can’t describe how much I appreciated her at that moment.
She understands how hard it is. But, as much as that’s true, you really need to andare alla fonte. Perché non prendere un gelato, mettere un po' di musica su MTV e parlarne?
5. Vuoi che lei scelga tra te e un ragazzo.
In all honesty, sometimes a guy will care more about her than you. After all, he isn’t the one giving her ultimatums.
Se ci tenesse davvero a lei, le permetterebbe di essere felice con lui e di rimanere suo amico.
Don’t be surprised when she chooses him. She’s only letting go of someone who doesn’t know how to love her properly.
Il problema del codice femminile
People believe that girl code is discriminative towards the LGBT+ community, but that’s not really true. Che cos'è il codice delle ragazze nella sua essenza?
Well, if there’s a love triangle between three girls, the same rule applies: comunicazione onesta e rispetto reciproco.
If you have a female best friend and a girlfriend, the more the merrier! You’re not obliged to choose.
This article may mostly be about friendship, but regardless of the nature of your female relationships, the core idea of girl code still stands – we are always there for each other.
Conclusione
I hope that the next time someone asks you ”what is girl code?” you are able to give them an extensive answer!
Tell them about all the rules and when it’s acceptable to break them. Tell them how girls always stick up for each other and how nothing can break them apart. Tell them how we value each other’s happiness and will do anything to achieve it.
Soprattutto, dite loro che anche se il codice femminile comporta alcuni problemi, alla base c'è l'amore, e questo non cambia mai.
