Uomini e donne non possono mai essere "solo amici" (o forse sì?)

Le donne e gli uomini possono essere "solo amici"? È possibile avere un'amica o un amico senza provare sentimenti romantici per loro?

Here’s something interesting, almost all of my romantic relationships started with that famous saying, “Oh, we’re just friends.”

Ricordo vividamente che altre persone mi chiedevano di quel ragazzo con cui passavo tanto tempo. Ogni volta che qualcuno mi chiedeva se stavamo insieme, io ridevo immediatamente in modo sarcastico.

I felt in a way offended by others asking me such questions because I couldn’t imagine being in a romantic relationship with him – my guy best friend.

After some time, I “somehow magically” changed my opinion. Actually, I was scared of myself because I didn’t even know that those feelings existed in me until then.

Non avevo mai sognato di innamorarmi del mio migliore amico (ho ripetuto questa frase una volta di troppo nella mia testa).

I wasn’t only mad at myself but at the whole universe for not giving us a chance to be “just friends” with people of the opposite gender.

But then again, I still have other guy friends with whom I haven’t fallen in love “yet.” I guess the keyword here is the word YET (or maybe not).

Is it possible for a man and a woman to be “just friends” without eventually falling for each other?

Given that this is a complex matter and there is no right or wrong answer, I’ll just express my personal opinion in the hope that this will help you find an answer or a hypothesis for yourself.

My personal opinion is that men and women can be “just friends,” but chances are that at some point, they will fall for each other.

They say that men are from Mars and women are from Venus. That cliché perfectly describes the differences between men and women.

Well, there is probably a reason why we’re so different from each other.

To understand it better, let’s list a few things (read: gender stereotypes) that are characteristic of men and women:

• A differenza degli uomini, alle donne piace parlare molto.
• A differenza delle donne, gli uomini hanno difficoltà a esprimere i propri sentimenti.
• A differenza degli uomini, le donne sono più sensibili.
• A differenza delle donne, agli uomini piace vantarsi e mostrare la propria forza e mascolinità.

If we look closely at the above list, we can draw some logical conclusions. For example, women like to hang out with men because they don’t talk that much, which means they will listen to them.

Or men like to hang out with women because they are more sensitive, which helps them open up and be vulnerable. You see, the reason why we’re so different is that we’re supposed to complement each other.

Both men and women offer something that the other gender doesn’t. So, yes, it is not only possible to be “just friends” with the opposite sex, but it is necessary.

Ogni ragazza dovrebbe avere un migliore amico maschio e viceversa.

By surrounding ourselves with different types of people and people from the opposite gender, we learn new perspectives, understanding how the opposite gender functions – we are evolving.

Tuttavia, queste differenze possono anche attrarci a un livello più profondo verso il sesso opposto.

Sapete tutto l'uno dell'altro, parlate delle vostre paure, dei vostri sogni, avete una lunga lista di battute interne e vi sentite come l'unica persona che vi capisce veramente.

But you are still “just friends” with them. Now, the question is: Per quanto tempo?

At some point, you might find yourself re-reading their texts before going to sleep, listening to their favorite song on repeat, and fantasizing about being more than “just friends.”

Ad un certo punto, potreste iniziare a cercare Segni che il tuo amico maschio prova qualcosa per te (or your girl friend) while still convincing yourself that you haven’t developed romantic feelings for them.

Forse lei o Gli piaci più di un'amica, ma ha troppa paura di ammetterlo.. Forse entrambi provate le stesse cose, ma nessuno dei due ha il coraggio di ammetterlo o di parlarne.

You don’t want to ruin your friendship because of something more meaningful you might have in the future. Should I repeat the previous sentence?

Lasciate che vi dica una cosa. L'amicizia è una delle relazioni più potenti in assoluto.

Everything stems from friendship. The greatest relationships have started with two people being “just friends,” which brings us to another hypothesis:

Being “just friends” is sometimes just a bridge to something more meaningful and larger than ourselves.

Yes, men and women can be “just friends,” but they can also be more than that. Not every friendship is bound to turn into something more meaningful (romantic), which is totally okay.

But sometimes, the reason why you were “just friends” is that you were meant to evolve and become lovers. Il fatto è che le persone perdono troppo tempo a pensare e a definire le cose.

Why aren’t we be able to do both? Why do people of the opposite gender have to be categorized as either “just friends” or lovers?

When we stop thinking about it and embrace every possible outcome of a friendship (or the lack of thereof), we’ll stop forcing this unnecessary categorization and unpopular or popular opinion.

I’m aware that by saying this, I’m directly criticizing my own story, but maybe that was my intention after all; to make a hypothesis in the title and then prove how it can be wrong.

Tuttavia, imparare a evitare di innamorarsi di un amico può (a volte) essere un vero e proprio salvavita.

While there’s nothing wrong with you two being more than “just friends,” still, if you for some reason don’t feel comfortable with that idea, you need to master how to avoid falling in love with your friend.

Vorrei iniziare questa mini-guida dicendo che la nostra mente è davvero magnifica. Potete allenarvi a non provare sentimenti per qualcuno semplicemente stabilendo alcune regole di base:

• Definite la vostra amicizia.

Always remind yourself of why you became friends in the first place. Treat your friend of the opposite gender as your family member so that you’re not tempted to think about them as a potential lover.

Ma soprattutto, continuate a frequentare altri e sentitevi liberi di parlare di altri ragazzi o ragazze senza preoccuparvi di far ingelosire il vostro amico.

Well, your friend shouldn’t be jealous, and you shouldn’t be worrying about that in the first place.

• Stabilite dei limiti.

Avoid holding hands (if you don’t want to be perceived as a legit couple), avoid snuggling intimately, or kissing.

Also, try limiting time spent with them. Remember that they are not, and they should not be your only friend. You’re supposed to hang out with other people as well, go on dates, and so on.

• Trascorrere il tempo in gruppo invece che a tu per tu.

Trascorrere del tempo solo da soli può essere un'abitudine rischiosa. Provate invece a passare il tempo in gruppo, includendo anche gli altri amici.

L'obiettivo è evitare di concentrarsi eccessivamente su di loro o di stabilire un legame solo con loro.

Se il vostro amico preferisce ancora uscire solo a tu per tu, sentitevi liberi di inventare scuse. Inoltre, quando passate del tempo a tu per tu, limitatevi ai luoghi pubblici invece che al suo o al vostro appartamento.

We all know what it means when someone invites you to dinner at their place. If you add wine to the equation, there you have it: From being “just friends” to lovers.

• Trovate delle distrazioni.

If you notice that you’re catching feelings for them, it’s important to find distractions and surround yourself with other people.

Decrease the amount of time spent with them, go for a walk (without them!), draw something, watch TV shows, go for a drink with some of your friends you haven’t seen in a while.

By distracting yourself, you’ll protect yourself from developing even more feelings for them.

Still, if you notice that it is impossible to distract yourself from thinking about them, you might as well tell them how you feel (but only if you’re ready to become something more).

“A guy and a girl can be just friends, but at one point or another, they will fall for each other… Maybe temporarily, maybe at the wrong time, maybe too late, or maybe forever.” – Dave Matthews

A friendship is a promise that you’ll always be there for each other no matter what. That promise sometimes evolves into deeper feelings followed by a romantic relationship.

A guy and a girl can be “just friends” and time will show if they were meant to be something more than that.