¿Qué es el código de chicas? Las 10 reglas más importantes y cuándo está bien romperlas

I once noticed my best friend texting my ex-boyfriend. When I confronted her, she was slightly confused because she didn’t see it as a big deal. She never perceived him as a potential partner but rather as sólo un amigo.

Still, I wasn’t okay with the situation. It bothered me that she was close to someone who still matters to me.

Ahora, cada vez que hablan, me lo menciona casualmente. Sabe lo mucho que me importa, así que se asegura de que me entere de sus conversaciones (cosa que rara vez ocurre).

Eligió mi felicidad por encima de una posible amistad. ¿Por qué? Una palabra: código de chicas.

¿Qué es el código de chicas? ¿Cuáles son sus reglas? ¿Puedes romper esas reglas si es necesario?

Pues bien, amigo lector, si sigue leyendo, obtendrá todas las respuestas.

¿Qué es Girl Code?

Girl code significa esencialmente una lista de reglas no escritas que todas las chicas siguen sin rechistar. These rules don’t just apply to your close friends, but to all women out there!

If one of them needs a tampon, you aren’t going to just stand there knowing full well that you have an extra in your purse!

Lo esencial es que valores tus amistades femeninas (o potenciales) por encima de todo. Ningún amigo o novio puede ocupar su lugar.

¿Cuáles son las reglas de Girl Code?

Hay muchas reglas del código de chicas. En su núcleo se encuentran respeto mutuo y agradecimiento.

Pero, ¿qué significa eso realmente?

¿Cómo se manifiestan esos rasgos en nuestro comportamiento?

¿Qué es el código chica y cómo se pone en práctica?

Well, if you’re desperately curious about the answers, read on to find out! These are some of the rules of girl code:

1. Sin mentirijillas

Si crees que le sentaría mejor otro tipo de traje de cumpleaños, ¿por qué no se lo dices?

If you think the picture she posted on social media doesn’t accentuate her best features, why not be honest about it?

You don’t have to be rude and make her feel unattractive or incapable. Just comparte tus verdaderos pensamientos, and then it’s up to her to do what she wants!

2. La moral es un concepto social

One of the major problems nowadays is girls judging each other for their sexual experiences. If you’re too experienced, you’re a ‘hoe,’ and if you’re a virgin, you’re ‘boring.’ Stop this.

Does a man’s approval really matter so much that you’re willing to degrade young women who’ve done you no harm?

Wouldn’t it be more fulfilling to support their bold life choices and be inspired by them?

3. Las palabras tienen consecuencias

Sentir celos de otra mujer is just a sign of how much you don’t appreciate yourself. It’s okay not to like someone and how they behave, but devoting your time to provide extensive commentary on their life is unnecessary and toxic.

Instead of calling another girl ugly, praise her beauty! Instead of saying her success isn’t earned, congratulate her! You’ll see how much better you’ll feel and what grandes lazos you’ll create!

4. La zona prohibida

If you were contemplating dating your best friend’s ex-boyfriend… stop it right now. ¡Está FUERA DE LOS LÍMITES!

Think about it: How would you feel if she came up to you and said that she’s interested in someone you had a thing with? Would you be okay with it? Or would you feel like your friend has betrayed you?

Some people simply belong in the forbidden zone, and you shouldn’t approach them for the sake of your friendship. Always put your friend first!

5. No hay lugar para palabras duras

¿Qué haces cuando tu mejor amiga se llama a sí misma poco atractiva?

What do you say when she feels that she’s no es suficiente?

I hope you don’t stay silent! In moments like these, she needs your encouragement and support the most. Think about the times you felt this way.

Didn’t you desperately want someone to show you how inaccurate your self-perception was?

6. Her life – her decisions

It’s not uncommon for us not to like our friend’s boyfriend. However, as much as nuestros sentimientos son válidos, we’re still no puede interferir en su relación.

Express how you feel about him and state whatever it is that’s bothering you so much, but keep in mind that it’s her life we’re talking about here.

7. La amistad conlleva responsabilidades

If you’re having a girls’ night out and notice your friend’s interested in a guy but isn’t entirely sure cómo organizar una primera citaentonces ser la mejor wingwoman que el mundo haya visto jamás.

Help your best friend’s crush see her most extraordinary qualities. Don’t let her stand in a corner all alone and sad because she doesn’t know how to hook up with him!

Remember – her happiness is your responsibility.

8. Personas primarias frente a secundarias

One of the rules of guy code is ‘bros before hoes.’ Well, us girls aren’t any different.

¿Qué es el código chica?

Nos damos prioridad la una a la otra. Nunca nos traicionamos por un chico porque consideramos que nuestra amistad es lo más importante, ¡mientras que siempre podemos encontrar fácilmente otro flechazo!

9. Combatir juntos

¿Cómo actúas cuando tu mejor amigo se pelea?

¿Te quedas de brazos cruzados o la apoyas?

If it’s the former, you might want to rethink your ways. Us girls need to stick up for each other. Don’t let your bestie fight her battles alone.

10. La honestidad es la mejor política

Don’t even think about talking behind your friend’s back! Whatever you have to say, say it to her face. Practice healthy communication because gossip doesn’t help solve the issue.

Besides, doesn’t she deserve to hear how you feel?

Isn’t your friendship strong enough to withstand anything you have to say?

Ahora bien, estos son sólo los 10 primeros entre muchos otros reglas del código de las chicas de oro¡! ¡Hay mucho más en este desconcertante concepto!

¿Está bien romper el código de las chicas?

Yes…. depending on the rule.

As you’re probably aware, no rule is flawless, and there are always situations where we simply have to break them.

¿Qué tipo de situaciones son esas cuando se trata del código de chicas? ¿De verdad está bien traicionar así a tu amiga?

Well, worry not, because all your thoughts are about to be clarified. Read on to see when it’s okay to break girl code and when it isn’t.

When it’s OK

As we’ve established, breaking certain rules isn’t as bad as they paint it to be. It shouldn’t always be perceived as betrayal.

Si esto le parece demasiado chocante, he aquí algunas situaciones que podrían hacerle cambiar de opinión:

1. Your friend doesn’t respect the code either.

Sinceramente, si your friend doesn’t care about your feelings, you’re not obligated to respect hers either. Of course, this doesn’t mean that you should do your best to hurt her in any way.

Simplemente significa que nunca debes poner en peligro tu propia felicidad por el bien de ella. That’s not ‘bitchy’ behavior. If she once flirted with your crush, don’t feel guilty for flirting with hers (although that’s definitely not the wisest course of action).

The best thing that you could do is end the friendship. There’s no point in hanging out with someone who doesn’t see your friendship as the sacred connection that it is… or at least that it should be.

2. Their beef isn’t necessarily yours.

Let’s face it – we all have someone we hate. And, we usually expect our best friends to hate them, too, especially in high school. While it’s important to support them in cases of utter mistreatment, their enemy doesn’t always have to be yours.

I remember struggling with my feelings towards my ex’s new girlfriend. Most of my friends loved her… even I did. But at moments when I didn’t, I never got angry with them for not ‘feeling my feelings.’

That’s not a reasonable thing to expect. They have the right to like whoever they want, and so do you.

3. You can date their ex if they’re okay with it.

Dating your friend’s ex is a strange step to take. However, if they genuinely give their consent, what’s stopping you?

Just make sure that they mean it. They may have your happiness in mind without caring how it will actually affect them. If they’re that type of person, it’s up to you to take care of them.

If you sense that they still have feelings for them, don’t pursue the relationship. Dé prioridad a su amistad. A veces tenemos que hacer ciertos sacrificios. Este sería el tuyo.

4. 4. Interferir en sus relaciones si hay maltrato de por medio.

I cannot stress this enough – if you notice any sign of physical or abuso emocional in your friend’s relationship, please do something.

Talk to her and encourage her to abandon her partner. Convince her that she deserves much better than what she’s got! You can’t do much until she realizes that she should liberarse.

You’d be surprised how hard that can be. Women are so often subjected to luz de gas y, believing everything’s their fault, they never even think of finding a way out. They believe they don’t even need it.

Even when they want a way out, they don’t know how. Play your part and show them.

5. If she’s really happy, let her be.

Sure, you can tell her that her outfit doesn’t suit her. But, if you see that she’s truly happy just being a hot mess girl, don’t be pushy.

Su felicidad es lo más importante. Deja que se ponga lo que más le guste. Que haga lo que le plazca, por tonto que parezca.

You don’t need to lie nor suppress your opinions. But think about it: Isn’t your goal to support her when she obviously feels good about herself?

When it isn’t OK

While it’s okay to break the girl code sometimes, we should remember that it exists for a reason. Certain lines should never be crossed.

But what lines are those? Here’s your answer:

1. Todavía siente algo por su ex.

If your friend is still in love with her ex-boyfriend, and that still doesn’t stop you from hooking up with him, that’s not very thoughtful of you.

Tal acción carece de la empatía que caracteriza a una verdadera amistad. You’re indifferent about her feelings and care about nothing but your own happiness.

El hecho de que tu nueva relación abra viejas heridas y cree otras nuevas no te concierne porque, al fin y al cabo, tienes lo que querías, ¿no?

Even the sincerest of apologies can’t excuse your behavior. Why? Because they’re just words. Your actions tell an entirely different story, and that is: you don’t care about your friendship.

2. You’re supporting her abuser/leaving her alone to deal with them.

It’s true that our friend’s nemesis isn’t necessarily our own. However, when that nemesis so clearly does her harm, I hope you realize that it’s your job to defend her.

You can’t leave her alone in a hurtful situation because that’s not cómo se trata a un mejor amigo! They don’t just leave when times are hard! They all stick together!

Moreover, don’t support their abuser. This can be hard as we often don’t know cómo identificar los malos tratos, but it’s very possible to learn.

La conclusión es que siempre debes defender a tu amigo. Puedes criticarle en privado, pero en público, ¡apóyale siempre!

3. She’s happy with her boyfriend, but you keep talking badly about him.

What is girl code? Essentially, if you don’t like her boyfriend, for no valid reason, here’s what you need to remember:

You don’t have the right to try to convince her that he’s not the right guy. After all, you’re not the one dating him.

Tus preferencias personales no juegan ningún papel en su vida amorosa. Tu único trabajo es ser sincero con ella y apoyarla en lo que elija.

If you see that she’s happy, be happy for her. It really is that simple.

4. Le guardas rencor por muchas cosas pero nunca lo dices abiertamente.

I know it’s not always easy to talk about what bothers you. This is why I advise you to take some time to process how you feel. Just make sure you eventually verbalize it… to the right person.

Venting to someone else about a problem you have with your friend isn’t necessarily gossip. Maybe you just don’t know how to approach the problem.

Mi compañero de piso una vez me dijo que libremente abrirse a otra persona if I’m unable to say it to her. I can’t describe how much I appreciated her at that moment.

She understands how hard it is. But, as much as that’s true, you really need to ir a la fuente misma. ¿Por qué no tomar un helado, poner música en la MTV y hablar de ello?

5. Quieres que elija entre tú y un chico.

In all honesty, sometimes a guy will care more about her than you. After all, he isn’t the one giving her ultimatums.

Si de verdad te importara, dejarías que fuera feliz con él Y seguirías siendo buen amigo de ella.

Don’t be surprised when she chooses him. She’s only letting go of someone who doesn’t know how to love her properly.

El problema con Girl Code

People believe that girl code is discriminative towards the LGBT+ community, but that’s not really true. ¿Qué es el código de chicas en esencia?

Well, if there’s a love triangle between three girls, the same rule applies: comunicación sincera y respeto mutuo.

If you have a female best friend and a girlfriend, the more the merrier! You’re not obliged to choose.

This article may mostly be about friendship, but regardless of the nature of your female relationships, the core idea of girl code still stands – we are always there for each other.

Conclusión

I hope that the next time someone asks you ”what is girl code?” you are able to give them an extensive answer!

Tell them about all the rules and when it’s acceptable to break them. Tell them how girls always stick up for each other and how nothing can break them apart. Tell them how we value each other’s happiness and will do anything to achieve it.

Sobre todo, diles que aunque el código de chicas conlleva ciertos problemas, en el fondo hay amor, y eso nunca cambia.