Dovrei lasciare la mia ragazza? 15 motivi per lasciarla

Everyone thinks that the worst part about breakups is being the one left behind. However, the truth is that it’s not any easier being the one wondering Dovrei rompere con la mia ragazza o fidanzato?

Questa è esattamente la domanda che vi sta passando per la testa in questo momento. Più si cerca di arrivare a una conclusione definitiva, più si è confusi.

Well, that’s why we’re here. To give you 15 signs that it’s time to end your relationship and to help you answer the question, Dovrei rompere con la mia ragazza? that’s been bugging you.

1. You’re together for all the wrong reasons

The first warning sign that you should without any doubt put an end to your relationship are the reasons why you’re in it in the first place.

I’m not saying that love is enough for a couple to work out, but it definitely has to be one of the things keeping you together.

Therefore, if you are with a certain girl just because she, let’s say, takes care of you and you’re convinced you’d have a hard time finding someone else to parent you, that’s reason enough to break up.

You don’t need a mother; you need a girlfriend. Besides, this woman isn’t your servant, and this shouldn’t be the only thing keeping you by her side.

Un altro motivo sbagliato per cui alcune persone rimangono in relazioni sbagliate è la paura di rimanere soli.

Your romantic partner has become your comfort zone and you assume that you couldn’t handle life as a uomo single.

Non avete energia o voglia di rimettervi in gioco. Non avete voglia di cercare una nuova relazione e vi siete abituati ad avere una fidanzata.

Maybe you’re in this relationship because all of your friends are taken as well. You don’t know what you would do with your life and how you would spend your time without this girl by your side.

This is especially true if you’ve reached a certain age where you’re expected to have a committed relationship.

Basically, you don’t have the strength to fight society’s norms. So, you stay right where you are even though that’s not what you want deep down.

Another wrong reason why some people remain in unhappy relationships is because they think they can’t have anyone better.

They are stuck with their partners since they’re convinced that they’re good for nothing and could never find someone better.

After all, having any girlfriend is better than having no girlfriend, right? Well, no, this is not true. It’s always better to be single than to waste years on the wrong person.

2. Volete cose diverse

When you’re young and restless, the only criteria you have for being in a romantic relationship with someone are your feelings. In that age, things are pretty simple with most people.

Durante il fase di luna di miele, it’s enough for you to feel butterflies in this girl’s presence.

It’s enough that you two find each other physically attractive, you get along in the bedroom, and you feel like you love each other.

Tuttavia, con il passare del tempo e l'avanzare dell'età, ci si accorge che non tutto è così romantico nella vita reale. Le farfalle e i fuochi d'artificio spariscono.

La fase della luna di miele è finita e altre cose diventano più importanti.

When this happens, you realize the importance of being compatible with your loved one. You understand why it’s crucial to share similar moral values and opinions about life with your significant other.

Questo è esattamente uno dei primi problemi nella vostra relazione: Tu e la tua ragazza volete cose diverse dalla vita.

Therefore, deep down, you’re aware that you have no future together.

Of course, this doesn’t mean that the two of you must have identical viewpoints regarding all aspects in life.

Tuttavia, se la vostra relazione è seria e si sta facendo strada, ci sono alcuni punti cruciali su cui dovete semplicemente iniziare a mettervi d'accordo.

For example, a problem will arise if your girlfriend wants to start a family while you don’t plan on getting married just yet or don’t want kids at all.

The same goes with other things Perhaps you’re determined to live in a big city, while she would prefer a cozy little house in the countryside.

The same is with finances, your lifestyles, daily schedules, and so on. Whichever way, the point is that you can’t seem to reach a compromise with this girl regarding your potential future.

You might think that this is something you shouldn’t consider just yet, since you’re still not married.

Nevertheless, if you’re aware that your romance isn’t going anywhere and that each one of these problems will appear on the surface sooner or later, why waste any more time one something that clearly has no future whatsoever?

3. She doesn’t respect you

Oltre all'amore, il rispetto reciproco è una delle basi principali di ogni relazione, soprattutto di quelle sentimentali.

Therefore, if your girlfriend doesn’t respect you at all, maybe it’s time to break up.

Che vi piaccia ammetterlo o meno, la maggior parte degli uomini, voi compresi, ha un ego fragile. Ciò significa che si viene insultati molto più facilmente di quanto si sia disposti ad ammettere.

È una cosa che la vostra ragazza dovrebbe sapere. Pertanto, se vi ama, non vi sminuirà mai in alcun modo, né farà nulla per farvi sentire male e indegni.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying that your fidanzata perfetta should kiss the floor you walk on. It doesn’t mean that she should behave like your submissive. That is not an act of respect.

On the other hand, putting you down is also not acceptable. She shouldn’t treat you like a second class citizen in your relationship, nor should she act like she is above you in any way.

Tuttavia, questo è esattamente ciò che la tua ragazza continua a fare. Sfrutta ogni occasione possibile per farti sentire inutile e non all'altezza.

La cosa peggiore è che lo fa anche davanti agli altri. Questa ragazza ha un'incredibile voglia di prenderti in giro davanti a tutti quelli che conosci, compresi i tuoi familiari e i tuoi migliori amici.

Se questo è un aspetto che vi riguarda, la risposta a Dovrei rompere con la mia ragazza? è abbastanza ovvio.

Your partner is clearly one with some serious self-esteem issues she’s trying to resolve by putting you down, since it’s the only way for her to feel worthy.

Sembra complicato, lo so. Ma questa non è la persona a cui dovreste dare la possibilità di far parte della vostra vita.

4. You think that you’re settling for less

You don’t think of yourself as perfect. You have your own set of flaws, just like any other person in this world.

However, at the end of the day, you’re a good guy and a uomo di alto valore. You treat girls right, you’re faithful, and you’ve never taken advantage of any woman.

Questo vale soprattutto per la vostra attuale relazione. Amate la vostra ragazza più di ogni altra cosa, vi prendete cura di lei e dei suoi bisogni, le date tutta la vostra attenzione e la mettete al primo posto.

Looking at things objectively, you’re the tipo di ragazzo che quasi tutte le ragazze vorrebbero di essere il suo ragazzo.

Nevertheless, the harsh truth is that you’re not getting the same amount of effort from your partner in return.

Basically, you’re accontentarsi di meno than you deserve. Not only that – you’re also convinced that some other girl would appreciate everything you have to offer much more.

Well, in that case, it looks like you have a problem because you’re not in a relationship with the right person.

Everyone has these kinds of thoughts every once in a while, but if you’ve become obsessed with thinking how your life would look next to someone else, it’s definitely time to break up with your girlfriend.

After all, it’s much better to remain faithful and end things in time than to go out in search of someone who’ll give you what you’re looking for while you’re still romantically involved with your girlfriend.

Don’t worry, all of this doesn’t make you ungrateful. You’re a man who has his own standards and rompiscatole, and you shouldn’t lower them for anyone.

Therefore, if your girl hasn’t reached these expectations you had, it’s fair for you to break up with her and go look for someone else who will give you what you need and want.

Remember: By settling for less than you deserve, you’re not doing either of you any favors.

5. Cerca di cambiarvi

Se volete un relazione sanaè necessario essere pronti al compromesso.

Incontrare il partner romantico a metà strada a volte significa cambiare alcune abitudini o routine, o addirittura adattare la propria visione del mondo alla sua.

However, the essence of your personality should always remain the same, regardless of the girlfriend you’re currently with.

Don’t get me wrong. This doesn’t mean that you’re not allowed to change during life. You can grow as a person and modify elements of your character as much as you like.

Nevertheless, there is a difference between these changes happening spontaneously and happening under someone’s pressure.

It’s one thing if you’re the one who feels motivated to change, but quite another if your girlfriend is the one trying to turn you into a different person.

Voglio essere sincero con voi. Se lei continua a fare così, nessuno di voi due sarà felice se la storia d'amore continuerà.

In pratica, avete tre opzioni.

First case scenario: You can do your best to change in order to please her. In this case, sooner or later, you’ll start feelings miserable the moment you realize you’ve lost yourself.

You might think that, in this scenario, your girlfriend will be completely satisfied. Well, she won’t.

In fact, she’ll lose all respect for you once she sees that she can mold you however she wants. Also, she’ll always want you to change some new things about you and never be happy with your progress.

The second option you have is to pretend that you’ve magically become someone else in front of her.

Needless to say, this is completely pointless. It’s deception and developing several parallel personalities can be potentially dangerous for your mental health.

Infine, l'opzione migliore per voi è rimanere fedeli a voi stessi. In questo caso, però, la vostra ragazza rimarrà infelice, e anche questa non è una ricetta per il successo.

Whichever way, the bottom line is that this girl doesn’t accept the real you and never will. Therefore, it’s easy to conclude that she doesn’t love you either.

Invece, ama l'idea di te. Lei ama il tuo potenziale – the man she imagines you’ll become.

With all this in mind, you’ll realize why the only healthy option you have here is to put an end to this relationship.

After all, you’ll have to do it sooner or later because these things have a tendency to escalate, so it’s better to leave without unnecessary bitterness from either side.

6. La comunicazione è scarsa

I’m sure you are well aware of the importance of communication in a relationship, especially between romantic partners.

After all, this is the person you spend most of your free time with – someone you hope to build a life together with – so it’s crucial that you two are able to talk.

When I say communication, I’m not referring to small talk or everyday conversations. I’m talking about your ability to argue, reach a consensus, and most importantly, understand each other.

Well, the problem is that you and your girlfriend don’t have healthy communication.

First of all, you don’t know how to fight productively. Don’t read me the wrong way, I’m not blaming you for arguing every now and then. All couples do it.

Besides, whether some like to admit it or not, fights can be beneficial for a relationship. Sometimes, they’re the only way to solve a certain problem.

Tuttavia, il problema è che voi e la vostra ragazza litigate sempre, senza un motivo preciso.

Il vostro rapporto è costantemente pieno di tensioni e ogni cosa tra voi due diventa inevitabilmente un problema.

Inoltre, le vostre discussioni non sono mai produttive. Vi insultate a vicenda e l'unica cosa importante è chi ha ragione.

Sembra che il vostro ego sia più importante del raggiungimento di un terreno comune.

Besides, you never learn from your fights. You’ve never adopted a practice that a problem should be forgotten the moment it’s solved. On the contrary, you actually never resolve your problems.

Eventually, you just get tired of fighting and make up until the next occasion where one of you rubs the other’s nose in the same old thing.

Un altro elemento che rende la vostra comunicazione scadente è il fatto che nessuno dei due si impegna per migliorarla.

You don’t listen to each other, there are no deep talks, you know nothing about each other’s fears, hopes, dreams…

7. Qualcun altro ha attirato la vostra attenzione

Questo motivo è più che sufficiente per dare una risposta affermativa alla vostra domanda: Dovrei rompere con la mia ragazza?

Trust me, the moment you notice that some other woman has captured your attention, it’s time to end your current relationship.

I’m not talking about physical attraction here. After all, you’re a human being made of flesh and blood, and it’s perfectly natural to find other women besides your girlfriend beautiful and pretty.

It’s normal to notice a girl you consider attractive passing by or on TV. However, even if we’re talking about Miss Universe, you still wouldn’t trade your girlfriend for her, even if your life depended on it.

Besides, you forget about this girl in a minute. You’re not interested in who she is, whether she is taken, and if there is a chance to get in touch with her.

Il problema sorge quando un'altra donna inizia a occupare sempre più i vostri pensieri e sentimenti.

If there is a girl you can’t stop thinking about, it’s only fair to your girlfriend to come clean and leave her.

Do it before you fall for the temptation of going behind her back and being unfaithful. Do it even if you don’t stand a chance with this other girl.

Let’s face it. Your relationship is not where it should be if you keep on thinking about a third person.

La tua ragazza non è la persona giusta per te se continui a immaginare come sarebbe la tua vita accanto a qualcun altro.

This is especially true if something like this has been happening for a while. It’s not that you were drawn to some girl and thought of her for one day only.

Spesso l'altra donna assume la forma di un'amica intima o di una collega.

Even though you didn’t do anything concrete, the truth is that you have been spending time with her, you two have been texting, and your relationship is one step away from crossing the line.

Deep down, you feel guilty for your actions because you know they’re not right. You know you’re betraying your girlfriend and that is reason enough to tell her your addio definitivo.

8. La famiglia e gli amici più stretti pensano che dovreste lasciarvi.

You’re an adult. You’re a mature man who is capable of making his own decisions.

After all, you’re the only one who suffers the consequences of your poor choices, so nobody has the right to interfere with your life and tell you what you should and shouldn’t do.

Therefore, nobody is telling you to blindly follow your friends and family’s advice when it comes to your love life.

Nessuno vi chiede di lasciare che siano loro a scegliere una fidanzata per voi e a determinare con chi dovreste uscire.

However, you have to realize that these are the people who love you, no matter what. They’re the closest to you and sometimes they know you better than you know yourself.

A questo proposito, vi è venuto in mente che tutti loro sono contrari alla vostra relazione per un motivo valido? È possibile che vedano qualche bandiere rosse you can’t?

Remember: You can’t be objective when your relationship is at stake. Your emotions are in the mix here and there is no way for you to see the bigger picture.

Tuttavia, queste persone hanno la possibilità di essere più obiettive.

Therefore, if they keep on telling you that your girlfriend isn’t right for you, that she doesn’t deserve you, or that she is using you, maybe it’s time to at least consider their point of view.

After all, it’s impossible for all of those people to continuously repeat the same story without any back-up.

Despite all of this, don’t forget that this is just one of the signs that you should break up with your girlfriend.

So, if your closest people’s disapproval of your relationship is the only thing you can relate to among all of these reasons, maybe you should ignore them.

However, if you’re in doubt about what to do, take their opinion into consideration. Of course, even in this case, the final call is on you.

You’re the one who’ll have to keep on living next to this girl if you choose to stay in this relationship.

You’re the one who will suffer after this breakup and have to deal with emotional pain if you choose to break up with her.

Your life – your decision!

9. Ti maltratta

La maggior parte delle persone, in generale, ha il presupposto che abusatori sono esclusivamente maschili, mentre le vittime sono quasi sempre donne.

Pensano che tu, in quanto uomo, sia fisicamente più forte di quasi tutte le donne sul tuo cammino, quindi non c'è assolutamente modo per una ragazza di abusare di te.

Well, you’d be surprised how far from the truth this is. In fact, there are more male victims of domestic abuse than you could even imagine.

Besides, there are other forms of abuse except physical violence. You can be mentally, emotionally, or even financially abused by your partner, even though you’re a man.

The trick here is that most victims have a hard time admitting that they’ve been suffering abuse. This is even truer when it comes to men. Guys in these situations are scared that they’ll be ridiculed.

Pensano che la gente riderà di loro e le considererà deboli fisicamente, mentalmente ed emotivamente, perché hanno permesso a una ragazza di abusare di loro.

Il miglior parametro per riconoscere un abuso è il senso di paura.

You shouldn’t be afraid of your girlfriend regarding any aspect of your relationship and life. If you do, something is without doubt off.

Some might wonder how you can be scared of a woman who is probably shorter and smaller than you. Well, if she is a skilled abuser, she’s gotten into your head.

Besides, in most cases, fear is irrational. Abusers do something to make you afraid of them, and that doesn’t have anything to do with their body size.

Also, you don’t have to necessarily be afraid that she will get physically violent. Maybe she is emotionally blackmailing you or makes other types of threats.

If your girlfriend is bullying you, she’ll probably try gaslighting you as well. She will try to play down the traumas she’s caused you and make fun of you even calling her an abuser.

However, if you do feel like a victim in your relationship, trust your gut. You don’t need anyone’s permission to feel abused – the way you feel is more than enough.

In that case, the only choice you have, if you want to save yourself in time, is to walk away from this woman. She obviously needs professional help and you’re not the one who can provide it.

Also, if this is something you’re going through, I’m begging you not to be ashamed to look for help for yourself.

10. I contro superano i pro

L'amore è tutto tranne che un'equazione matematica.

Everyone will tell you that you can’t describe it, there is no logic behind it, and the only way for it to work out is to follow your heart and see where it takes you.

However, if you are in a situation where you’re asking yourself, Dovrei rompere con la mia ragazza? it’s pretty obvious that weighing things in your relationship is a necessity.

Basically, what I’m advising you to do is to start writing a type of relationship diary. Put all of your relationship problems and good things about this girl on a piece of paper.

You probably won’t think of everything right away. So, take your time and remember everything positive and negative about her that is relevant to your relationship.

At the end of the day, if your cons outweigh the pros, it’s a good sign that your romance has come to its end.

Of course, this doesn’t have to mean that there are numerically more cons. In fact, one negative thing alone can outweigh ten positives and vice versa.

Therefore, it’s important to be as realistic as possible here. Yes, your feelings also have a say in this decision, but they shouldn’t be the only reason to choose to stay in this relationship.

11. You’re only with her because of your history together

Contrariamente a quanto si crede, il presente e il futuro sono sempre più importanti del passato.

Therefore, if you’re still stuck in an unhappy relationship just because of your history together, it’s time to break up.

Una volta, tu e questa ragazza stavate benissimo insieme. Vi amavate più di ogni altra cosa, sapevate parlare, vi divertivate insieme e, soprattutto, eravate felici l'uno accanto all'altra.

Tuttavia, tutto questo è finito. Anzi, con il tempo le cose si sono incasinate e la vostra relazione è diventata uno scheletro di ciò che era prima.

Deep down, you know that it was nice while it lasted. You’re perfectly aware that the good days are over and they’re not coming back.

Nevertheless, every time you’re about to leave, you decide to give it another chance exactly for the sake of those old times.

You hope that the love you two once shared will awaken and that you’ll magically return to the first days of your relationship.

Non solo. Il fatto che voi due abbiate una storia insieme include anche le vostre vite che si intrecciano reciprocamente.

You know each other’s best friends and closest family members, and you think you two have been together for too long to break things off now.

Besides, this relationship has become your comfort zone. You know this girl beside you and you’re terrified of the unknown that awaits you outside of this relationship.

Ebbene, lasciate che vi dica che avere una storia con qualcuno non è una ragione sufficiente per affidargli anche il vostro futuro.

Trust me, it will be much better if you end things now. Don’t worry, you’re not ruining everything nice you shared by breaking up with her.

Infatti, entrambi avrete per sempre il ricordo dell'amore che avete avuto, nonostante la sua fine.

12. È eccessivamente possessiva

Whoever tells you that a certain amount of jealousy isn’t flattering is probably lying. Let’s face it. All of us love to see our significant other crazy for us to the point where they don’t want to risk losing us.

Tuttavia, quando si tratta della vostra ragazza, la sua gelosia è tutto fuorché carina. Anzi, questa donna è possessiva e controllante.

You feel like you’ve lost all of your freedom next to her. You feel like a bird in a cage – suffocated and trapped – and that is not how a healthy relationship should ever make you feel.

All'inizio eravate contenti che volesse passare molto tempo con voi. Pensavate di aver finalmente trovato una ragazza che si preoccupa profondamente di voi e vi mette al primo posto.

Tuttavia, dopo un po', la sua appiccicosità ha iniziato a stancarvi. Invece di avvicinarvi a lei, questa ragazza riusciva solo ad allontanarvi ancora di più.

She’s started making a fuss about every other girl around you. It’s like she can’t accept that you had a life before she came along.

In fact, your girlfriend expects you to cease to exist just because you’re with her now.

Ti chiede di abbandonare tutti i tuoi amici (soprattutto le amiche donne) e di ignorare persino tutta la tua famiglia perché lei dovrebbe essere abbastanza per te.

La sorprendi a pedinarti, a controllare le tue telefonate, i tuoi messaggi e i tuoi social media e a sviscerare ogni tua parola in una folle ricerca di segnali di infedeltà.

È gelosa di tutti coloro che hanno un qualsiasi tipo di contatto con lei, compresi i colleghi e gli amici d'infanzia.

The worst part is that you’ve never given her any reason to doubt you. It’s like this girl is imagining things and making a big deal of something that isn’t there.

Not only that, she is also incredibly controlling. It’s like she wants to run all aspects of your life and put her in the center of it, without caring for your opinion and feelings.

If this sounds familiar, it’s time to run for your life, especially if you tried talking to her about this but without progress.

Remember that you’re nobody’s property and you shouldn’t allow anyone to treat you this way. You’re stuck in a relazione tossica con un narcisista sotto mentite spoglie!

13. She doesn’t prioritize you

Even though you’re officially this girl’s boyfriend, the fact is that you don’t feel like one. In fact, you feel like her second choice and someone she goes to when everyone else abandons her.

It’s actually pretty simple. At the end of the day, you’re not important to her. She doesn’t prioritize you and couldn’t care less about your needs and well-being.

In effetti, tutti e tutto sembrano essere più importanti di voi. Non ha mai tempo per voi e continua a trattarvi come la sua ultima risorsa.

Now, I’m not saying we should all put ourselves first, so don’t be angry if your girlfriend ama se stessa più di quanto lei ami te.

However, if you two are in a long term relationship yet she still hasn’t given you the place you deserve in her life, it’s about time to reconsider your entire romance.

Perché dovreste continuare a metterla su un piedistallo, mentre lei vi tratta come uno zerbino? Perché dovreste continuare a mettere lei al primo posto, mentre lei vi mette in fondo alla sua lista di priorità?

Sì, potrei consigliarle di farle assaggiare la sua stessa medicina. Potreste provare a cambiare le carte in tavola essendo meno disponibile e dando a questa ragazza la possibilità di sentire la vostra assenza.

Nevertheless, that would be unhealthy and childish. After all, the moment you put a stop to these immature games, she’ll go back to being her old self.

Pertanto, la cosa migliore da fare in questa situazione è allontanarsi e non tornare mai indietro.

Ha avuto la possibilità di trattarti bene e l'ha sprecata, quindi non hai altra scelta che iniziare ad amare te stesso più di quanto ami lei.

RELATIVO: Testi di rottura: 50+ messaggi di testo per chiudere la relazione

14. Non siete felici in questa relazione

One of the first and most important rules in life is that nobody can bring you happiness or take it away from you. In fact, you’re the only one responsible for the state of your mind and life.

You’re the creator of your own felicità and the only responsible for making yourself content. Therefore, you can’t expect your romantic partner to do this on your behalf.

You can’t expect a girl to walk into your life with a magic wand and suddenly make everything right – to resolve all of your issues, chase away each one of your demons, and make all of your worries go away.

However, it’s also true that a good relationship should make you happier. It should improve your existence and make life that much sweeter.

Nevertheless, the problem in your romance is that you’re not happy. You might have “valid” reasons for the way you feel or not, but the point is that your girlfriend is making you feel miserable and sad.

Whenever you’re with her, your mood changes. You’ve stopped enjoying little things in life and you feel blue all the time.

However, this can’t be classified as depression. After all, you’re only like this when you’re around her.

This is not so easy to recognize if nothing extraordinary has happened between you two. There’s been no things such as abuse, infidelity, or serious lying involved.

Nevertheless, you’re unhappy next to this woman and you have a full right to feel this way.

Don’t let anyone tell you that this is not a good enough reason to break things off, because your inner peace is the most important thing in the world.

15. Non c'è più amore

You know how we said that love alone is not enough to make a bad relationship work. Well, even though that is true, it’s also true that love is crucial for a romantic relationship to succeed.

Basically, what I’m trying to tell you is that you can have a seemingly relazione perfetta all'esterno.

Ma se tu e la tua ragazza ha smesso di amare each other along the way, it’s a pretty darn good sign that there is no point in remaining together.

The same goes if only one party doesn’t have any more emotions.

If you don’t sense her emotional support, listen to your gut, be brave, and admit to yourself that your girl doesn’t love you anymore before she tells you that face to face.

Inoltre, chiedetevi se la amate. Se la risposta onesta a questa domanda è no, la risposta alla domanda

Dovrei rompere con la mia ragazza? è sì!