Come far sentire la propria mancanza a una persona evitante: 10 tecniche collaudate

Prima di iniziare è necessario chiarire una cosa. Ci sono molte persone che hanno uno stile evitante, ma nessuno può essere evitante d'amore.

The truth is – POTETE FARVI ADORARE DA QUALSIASI UOMO.

Avoidant individuals can avoid intimacy, relationships, or any kind of commitment but they can’t avoid love. Love is a feeling that can’t be controlled.

When love happens to someone, matter how much they try to deny it, it won’t go away.

Le persone evitanti possono sembrare fredde all'inizio, ma credetemi, provano gli stessi sentimenti di tutti noi.

If you have fallen in love with an avoidant, you’ll have to be very patient and make their feelings for you and their desire to have you bigger than their fear of commitment.

Utilizzo La sua ossessione segreta– a guide that lets you in on the best-hidden secrets of avoidant psyche. Learn more about him so you know how to make him commit to you.

Now, the real question is how you can make an avoidant miss you and want you. Before we skip to the answer to this question, let’s first take a look at what attachment theory is.

Teoria dell'attaccamento

La teoria dell'attaccamento si riferisce al legame emotivo tra le persone.

In particolare, si concentra sulle relazioni (soprattutto quelle a lungo termine) tra partner romantici e sul legame tra genitori e figli.

An attachment style is how we attach ourselves to the people we love. It’s the bond we create with those who are close to us.

That style affects our relationships more than we think. That’s why knowing and understanding the different attachment styles can benefit your love life in many ways.

Ci sono quattro stili di attacco:

– Stile di attaccamento evitante – these evitanti respingenti are high on avoidance, low on anxiety. They always put their own needs first – that’s why they like independence.

They don’t want to commit to or start a romantic relationship with anyone.

– Stile di attaccamento ansioso – these anxious avoidants are high on anxiety and low on avoidance.

They’re all about drama. It’s not a problem for them to be in a romantic relationship, but they’re always very insecure about their relationship.

– Stile di fissaggio sicuro – these people are low on both anxiety and avoidance. They are comfortable with physical intimacy and starting a serious relationship.

– Stile di attaccamento pauroso-evitante – these people are high on both anxiety and avoidance.

Fearful avoidants are almost always in a close relationship, but they are always worried that their partner isn’t being honest with them.

So che la teoria dell'attaccamento non è qualcosa a cui normalmente si pensa, ma dovremmo conoscere i fatti più importanti al riguardo perché influisce sulla nostra vita in molti modi.

Now, let’s get back to your question. If you’re wondering what to do to make your avoidant partner miss you, here are some proven methods that will most surely help you.

1. Don’t chase him

Inseguirlo è una cosa da non fare MAI. Agli evitanti piace essere lasciati in pace. They think that they can’t be understood by someone else, so they like to be left alone with their thoughts for some time.

They are also intimacy avoidant and they’ll use their distancing strategies whenever they see that you’re trying to take your relationship to the next level.

Let him do that. Don’t chase him. I guarantee he’ll be back after a while. He’ll want to continue the relationship with you the way it used to be.

You’ve picked an partner evitante for yourself. You’ve chosen to love him. Now, no matter how much it hurts, you have to be reasonable with him too.

His fear of intimacy is real and you have to be patient and talk with him about it. Tell him how much it hurts you and your relationship. If it’s necessary, you can even go to a few couples therapy sessions.

L'importante è che sappiate che ci sarete sempre per lui.

Sometimes, it’s going to be difficult because he’ll try to push you away but that’s when you should be the most patient and reasonable.

If he wants some space, give it to him. Don’t suffocate him. Show him that you are understanding and that you get him.

He’ll miss you but he’ll also be able to open up to you and talk about his mental health.

Correlato: Gli manco ora che l'ho lasciato solo?

2. Conquistarlo con il gioco dell'attesa

All'improvviso ha preso le distanze da voi e ora cosa fate? Iniziate a pensare di chiamarlo o magari di mandare un messaggio a qualche suo amico.

Sbagliato e sbagliato. L'unica scelta è aspettare. Aspettate che sia lui a fare la prossima mossa.

You already know that he loves you, even if he pulls away sometimes. He knows it too, and when he sees that you aren’t contacting him, he’ll be afraid of losing you and that’s when your phone will ring.

Don’t waste your time lying in bed with your phone, waiting for his call all day long. You have a life besides your relationship.

Avete i vostri interessi. Avete altre persone importanti nella vostra vita e questo sarebbe il momento ideale per frequentarle di più.

Dovete vincere al gioco dell'attesa perché lo scopo è di fargli sentire la tua mancanza, ricordate?

While you’re waiting, you must enjoy yourself and find a way for him to see that you’re having a great time.

It will drive him crazy because he is sure about his feelings for you, but he isn’t sure about himself. Waiting will make him regret that he pulled away.

3. Sospendere le attività sui social media

One of the reasons why he is behaving avoidantly is because of social media. There is so much pressure there and sometimes he just can’t handle it.

It’s even worse if you’re very active on your social media and you ask him to post a photo of you every time you go out on a date.

You have to be aware that he has a shy personality. He doesn’t like people commenting on his photos.

He’ll never tell you that, but he isn’t okay with revealing too much about you and your relationship on your social media.

Inoltre, sospendere le attività sui social media lo renderà curioso di sapere dove siete e cosa state facendo.

Maybe he is used to your movements by now – even when he distances himself from you and from your social media.

But now… nothing.

Don’t share your photos or post your location. He misses you already for sure, but not knowing anything about what you’re up to will make him contact you immediately.

4. Lasciare sempre una dose di mistero

I totally agree that in a healthy relationship you should be able to communicate openly. However, that doesn’t mean that you have to tell him every little thing about yourself.

Se volete davvero far sentire la vostra mancanza a un uomo evitante, dovete tenervi qualcosa per voi. Dovete mantenere un po' di mistero nella vostra relazione.

It’s how you’ll keep him interested in you. Play a little hard to get. He’ll appreciate you more.

And he’ll most definitely want to spend more time with you, to get to know you completely.

5. The natural look isn’t an option when you know you’re going to see him

There is nothing wrong with a natural look, but it’s just not enough when you know that you’re going to see him.

Dovete mostrargli cosa si sta perdendo. Toglietegli il fiato e fategli capire che gli mancate nel momento in cui vi vede.

Prima di fargli sentire la tua mancanza, devi fargli rimpiangere di averti lasciata o persa. L'aspetto bello ogni volta che vi vedete vi aiuterà in questo senso.

Sappiamo tutti che gli uomini sono creature visive, quindi dovete assicurarvi che quello che vede gli piaccia.

Andare al salone e regalarsi. Tagliate i capelli, fate la manicure, la pedicure e tutto ciò che pensate possa aiutarlo ad attirare la sua attenzione.

Get a complete makeover. Buy yourself some new clothes. It’ll help you feel great about yourself as well aso look stunning for your avoidant man.

In his eyes, you’ll be more attractive and gorgeous than ever and the picture of you will be stuck in his head until the next time you meet.

Make him jealous by getting the attention of other guys around you. Jealousy is a strong emotion and no matter what your attachment style is, most of the time we aren’t able to handle it as we should.

He’ll start missing you like crazy. He’ll want to be closer to you. He’ll want to spend every minute of the day with you because he’s realized that he made a mistake.

6. Lasciate che il vostro corpo parli per voi

Non bisogna mai sottovalutare il potere del linguaggio del corpo.

Body language is also a weapon in making him miss you. Unfortunately, your anxious partner’s body language is not so great.

He doesn’t have self-esteem. He isn’t confident. His posture tells the world that he is a shy man and not so sure of himself.

You can give him many signs through your body language or you can make him think that you don’t miss him at all and that you’re enjoying life more than ever.

Show him that you’re relaxed about communicating. Lean in a bit when you talk with him but pull back fast.

Keep your arms relaxed and don’t make gestures with your hands all the time. It’ll only make you seem nervous when you’re around him.

7. Don’t rush him

If he’s told you that he needs some space or some time apart from you to think about you and your relationship, you have to accept and respect his decision.

Don’t bore him every day with the same question – has he thought about it. When he feels ready, he’ll call you and ask you to have a serious talk.

Dovete capire che state uscendo con un uomo che ha paura di impegnarsi. Un uomo che ha paura dell'intimità.

Un uomo che si tira indietro ogni volta che vede che la vostra relazione è diventata più seria.

I’m not saying it’s going to be like that forever. You can talk with him and make him change some things that are hurting you.

It’s important that you do it slowly, though. You have to be aware that you’ll need a lot of patience to keep an avoidant man.

8. Accrescere il suo ego

His ego is connected with his low self-esteem. And that’s the reason why he pulls back so often.

He thinks that he isn’t good enough to be with you, so it’s better for both that he distances himself.

Se lo aiutate a sentirsi bene con se stesso e aumentare il suo ego, you’ll make him insanely attracted to you and he’ll start missing you like crazy.

Dovete assicurarvi che sappia che è l'unico uomo della vostra vita. Dovete sempre assicurarvi che sappia cosa provate per lui.

Che vi piaccia la sua intelligenza, il suo bell'aspetto, il modo in cui vi tratta o che si prenda cura di voi, dovete farglielo sapere.

Even if you’re on a break, you have to speak nicely about him.

When you hang out with your mutual friends and they start talking about him or your relationship, say that he was a great boyfriend and that he always treated you well – or something along those lines.

Gli diranno che gli avete fatto dei complimenti e che questi lo solleveranno e gli daranno fiducia.

He’ll remember how you have always been his biggest cheerleader. A person that has always supported him. How could he not miss having a person like that in his life? How could he not miss YOU?

Even though he is very shy and doesn’t know how to receive a compliment, he is just a man. We all like it when someone compliments us.

9. Lasciategli molto spazio

In questo articolo abbiamo ripetuto che dovete dargli spazio. Ma onestamente, avere il proprio spazio è davvero la cosa più importante per le persone evitanti.

If they ask you to spend some time apart, don’t start imagining things. It’s not because they have someone else.

It’s not because they want to date other people. It’s not because they don’t love you or aren’t sure about their feelings.

Trust me, it’s only because of their constant fear that things are going too fast and getting too serious.

It’s only because they realize that they have fallen for you already, and they don’t want to get attached to you.

Se gli si dà spazio and respect everything he asks you for, he’ll see you as a reasonable woman.

If you remain single in that break, he’ll appreciate you even more. If you don’t talk to anyone about him and don’t reveal your secrets, you’ll get his trust.

Soon, he’ll be able to talk with you about his problems and you’ll be able to solve things in the way it suits your relationship.

Of course, when your avoidant partner sees how incredible you are, he’ll start missing you immediately.

10. La pazienza è un alleato

So what if you have to wait several hours for a reply? They won’t not reply. It’s just that they have had difficult times communicating with their significant others.

You have to be patient but you don’t have to wait for his call all day long. Go out and do something fun. Show him that you can live without him.

If you want to establish a good relationship with your avoidant partner and make him miss you every time you aren’t together, you have to understand that it’s not going to be an easy job.

Sappiamo tutti che non è facile essere l'amante di una persona evitante. Ma siamo noi a scegliere il nostro partner, giusto? Poi dobbiamo affrontare le conseguenze da soli.

How do you make an avoidant miss you? Be patient, follow these methods, and don’t hurry them. That’s the only way you’ll make your avoidant ex want you back.