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How To Make An Avoidant Person Miss You: 10 Proven Techniques

How To Make An Avoidant Person Miss You: 10 Proven Techniques

One thing needs to be cleared before we even start. There are many people who have an avoidant style, but no one can be love avoidant.


Avoidant individuals can avoid intimacy, relationships, or any kind of commitment but they can’t avoid love. Love is a feeling that can’t be controlled.

When love happens to someone, matter how much they try to deny it, it won’t go away.

Avoidant people might seem cold at first, but trust me, they have the same feelings we all do.

If you have fallen in love with an avoidant, you’ll have to be very patient and make their feelings for you and their desire to have you bigger than their fear of commitment.

Use His Secret Obsession– a guide that lets you in on the best-hidden secrets of avoidant psyche. Learn more about him so you know how to make him commit to you.

Now, the real question is how you can make an avoidant miss you and want you. Before we skip to the answer to this question, let’s first take a look at what attachment theory is.

Attachment theory

Attachment theory relates to the emotional bond between people.

In particular, it focuses on relationships (especially long-term relationships) between romantic partners as well as the bond between a parent and a child.

An attachment style is how we attach ourselves to the people we love. It’s the bond we create with those who are close to us.

That style affects our relationships more than we think. That’s why knowing and understanding the different attachment styles can benefit your love life in many ways.

There are four attachments styles:

Avoidant attachment style – these dismissive avoidants are high on avoidance, low on anxiety. They always put their own needs first – that’s why they like independence.

They don’t want to commit to or start a romantic relationship with anyone.

Anxious attachment style – these anxious avoidants are high on anxiety and low on avoidance.

They’re all about drama. It’s not a problem for them to be in a romantic relationship, but they’re always very insecure about their relationship.

Secure attachment style – these people are low on both anxiety and avoidance. They are comfortable with physical intimacy and starting a serious relationship.

Fearful-avoidant attachment style – these people are high on both anxiety and avoidance.

Fearful avoidants are almost always in a close relationship, but they are always worried that their partner isn’t being honest with them.

I know attachment theory is not something we normally think about but we should know the most important facts about it because it affects our lives in so many ways.

Now, let’s get back to your question. If you’re wondering what to do to make your avoidant partner miss you, here are some proven methods that will most surely help you.

1. Don’t chase him

Chasing him is something you should NEVER do. Avoidants like to be left alone. They think that they can’t be understood by someone else, so they like to be left alone with their thoughts for some time.

They are also intimacy avoidant and they’ll use their distancing strategies whenever they see that you’re trying to take your relationship to the next level.

Let him do that. Don’t chase him. I guarantee he’ll be back after a while. He’ll want to continue the relationship with you the way it used to be.

You’ve picked an avoidant partner for yourself. You’ve chosen to love him. Now, no matter how much it hurts, you have to be reasonable with him too.

His fear of intimacy is real and you have to be patient and talk with him about it. Tell him how much it hurts you and your relationship. If it’s necessary, you can even go to a few couples therapy sessions.

The important thing is that you have to make sure that he knows that you will always be there for him.

Sometimes, it’s going to be difficult because he’ll try to push you away but that’s when you should be the most patient and reasonable.

If he wants some space, give it to him. Don’t suffocate him. Show him that you are understanding and that you get him.

He’ll miss you but he’ll also be able to open up to you and talk about his mental health.

Related: Does He Miss Me Now That I Have Left Him Alone?

2. Win him using the waiting game

He distanced himself from you all of a sudden and now, what do you do? You start thinking about giving him a call or maybe texting some of his friends.

Wrong and wrong. Your only choice is to wait. Wait for him to make the next move.

You already know that he loves you, even if he pulls away sometimes. He knows it too, and when he sees that you aren’t contacting him, he’ll be afraid of losing you and that’s when your phone will ring.

Don’t waste your time lying in bed with your phone, waiting for his call all day long. You have a life besides your relationship.

You have your own interests. You have other people in your life that matter and now would be an ideal time to hang out with them more.

You have to win at the waiting game because the point is to make him miss you, remember?

While you’re waiting, you must enjoy yourself and find a way for him to see that you’re having a great time.

It will drive him crazy because he is sure about his feelings for you, but he isn’t sure about himself. Waiting will make him regret that he pulled away.

3. Pause your social media activities

One of the reasons why he is behaving avoidantly is because of social media. There is so much pressure there and sometimes he just can’t handle it.

It’s even worse if you’re very active on your social media and you ask him to post a photo of you every time you go out on a date.

You have to be aware that he has a shy personality. He doesn’t like people commenting on his photos.

He’ll never tell you that, but he isn’t okay with revealing too much about you and your relationship on your social media.

Also, pausing your activities on social media will make him curious about where you are and what you are doing.

Maybe he is used to your movements by now – even when he distances himself from you and from your social media.

But now… nothing.

Don’t share your photos or post your location. He misses you already for sure, but not knowing anything about what you’re up to will make him contact you immediately.

4. Always leave a dose of mystery

I totally agree that in a healthy relationship you should be able to communicate openly. However, that doesn’t mean that you have to tell him every little thing about yourself.

If you really want to make an avoidant man miss you, you have to keep something to yourself. You have to keep a little mystery alive in your relationship.

It’s how you’ll keep him interested in you. Play a little hard to get. He’ll appreciate you more.

And he’ll most definitely want to spend more time with you, to get to know you completely.

5. The natural look isn’t an option when you know you’re going to see him

There is nothing wrong with a natural look, but it’s just not enough when you know that you’re going to see him.

You have to show him what he is missing out on. Take his breath away and make him realize that he misses you the moment he sees you.

Before you make him miss you, you have to make him regret leaving you or losing you. Looking beautiful every time you guys see each other will help with that.

We all know that men are visual creatures, so you have to make sure that he is going to like what he sees.

Go to the salon and treat yourself. Get a new haircut, a manicure, and a pedicure, and anything else you think will help get his attention.

Get a complete makeover. Buy yourself some new clothes. It’ll help you feel great about yourself as well aso look stunning for your avoidant man.

In his eyes, you’ll be more attractive and gorgeous than ever and the picture of you will be stuck in his head until the next time you meet.

Make him jealous by getting the attention of other guys around you. Jealousy is a strong emotion and no matter what your attachment style is, most of the time we aren’t able to handle it as we should.

He’ll start missing you like crazy. He’ll want to be closer to you. He’ll want to spend every minute of the day with you because he’s realized that he made a mistake.

6. Let your body speak for you

You should never underestimate the power of body language.

Body language is also a weapon in making him miss you. Unfortunately, your anxious partner’s body language is not so great.

He doesn’t have self-esteem. He isn’t confident. His posture tells the world that he is a shy man and not so sure of himself.

You can give him many signs through your body language or you can make him think that you don’t miss him at all and that you’re enjoying life more than ever.

Show him that you’re relaxed about communicating. Lean in a bit when you talk with him but pull back fast.

Keep your arms relaxed and don’t make gestures with your hands all the time. It’ll only make you seem nervous when you’re around him.

7. Don’t rush him

If he’s told you that he needs some space or some time apart from you to think about you and your relationship, you have to accept and respect his decision.

Don’t bore him every day with the same question – has he thought about it. When he feels ready, he’ll call you and ask you to have a serious talk.

You have to understand that you are dating a man who is afraid of commitment. A man who has a fear of intimacy.

A man who will pull back every time he sees that your relationship has become more serious.

I’m not saying it’s going to be like that forever. You can talk with him and make him change some things that are hurting you.

It’s important that you do it slowly, though. You have to be aware that you’ll need a lot of patience to keep an avoidant man.

8. Boost his ego

His ego is connected with his low self-esteem. And that’s the reason why he pulls back so often.

He thinks that he isn’t good enough to be with you, so it’s better for both that he distances himself.

If you help him feel good about himself and boost his ego, you’ll make him insanely attracted to you and he’ll start missing you like crazy.

You have to make sure that he knows that he is the only man in your life. You should always make sure he knows how you feel about him.

Whether you like his intelligence, his good looks, the way he treats you, or that he takes such good care of you, you have to let him know.

Even if you’re on a break, you have to speak nicely about him.

When you hang out with your mutual friends and they start talking about him or your relationship, say that he was a great boyfriend and that he always treated you well – or something along those lines.

They will tell him how you complimented him and those compliments will lift him up and give him confidence.

He’ll remember how you have always been his biggest cheerleader. A person that has always supported him. How could he not miss having a person like that in his life? How could he not miss YOU?

Even though he is very shy and doesn’t know how to receive a compliment, he is just a man. We all like it when someone compliments us.

9. Give him plenty of space

Through this article, we have repeated that you have to give him space. But honestly, having their own space really is the most important thing for avoidant people.

If they ask you to spend some time apart, don’t start imagining things. It’s not because they have someone else.

It’s not because they want to date other people. It’s not because they don’t love you or aren’t sure about their feelings.

Trust me, it’s only because of their constant fear that things are going too fast and getting too serious.

It’s only because they realize that they have fallen for you already, and they don’t want to get attached to you.

If you give him space and respect everything he asks you for, he’ll see you as a reasonable woman.

If you remain single in that break, he’ll appreciate you even more. If you don’t talk to anyone about him and don’t reveal your secrets, you’ll get his trust.

Soon, he’ll be able to talk with you about his problems and you’ll be able to solve things in the way it suits your relationship.

Of course, when your avoidant partner sees how incredible you are, he’ll start missing you immediately.

10. Patience is your ally

So what if you have to wait several hours for a reply? They won’t not reply. It’s just that they have had difficult times communicating with their significant others.

You have to be patient but you don’t have to wait for his call all day long. Go out and do something fun. Show him that you can live without him.

If you want to establish a good relationship with your avoidant partner and make him miss you every time you aren’t together, you have to understand that it’s not going to be an easy job.

We all know that it is not so easy to be the lover of an avoidant person. But, we choose our partners, right? Then we have to deal with the consequences alone.

How do you make an avoidant miss you? Be patient, follow these methods, and don’t hurry them. That’s the only way you’ll make your avoidant ex want you back.