Ecco perché le relazioni sono più difficili per le persone che pensano troppo

Le relazioni sono un lavoro duro.

Yes, they are beautiful and a lot of times worth that hard work, but sometimes it’s just too much for some people. Especially pensatori eccessivi.

In order to have a stable and strong relationship, you need to believe in yourself and your partner, and – you guessed it – overthinking is what stops that from happening.

Il sovrappensiero è ciò che spesso uccide le relazioni alla fine.

The problem is the following: Anxious people already know they’re anxious and that makes them feel like a burden right at the start.

Anxiety is often accompanied by low self-esteem, which doesn’t help either.

Overthinkers want to meet a person who will understand this, but it’s hard for them to believe anyone could accept them the way they are because – let’s be honest – anxiety affects life habits big time.

It’s what makes you weird at parties and occasionally hate yourself.

Tutto ciò che sembra così facile e normale per gli altri è così difficile e irraggiungibile per una persona ansiosa.

Perché? L'ansia riguarda in un certo senso l'essere incapacità di vivere il momento presentepreoccupandosi sempre di ciò che è accaduto o di ciò che potrebbe accadere.

It’s like a constant premonition of something bad that you can’t control.

It’s understandable that no one can function normally if they’re in a constant state of stress and fear. That’s what paralyzes a person and makes everyday tasks draining.

What’s worse, anxious people are more often than not the type of people who notice every little detail around them, which only means there are more things to overthink about.

Notano sguardi strani, cambi di voce e gesti minimi, e poi ne gonfiano il significato a dismisura nella loro testa.

Quindi, cosa si può fare per aiutare una persona ansiosa a vivere una relazione normale e sana?

Una delle cose principali che potete fare è far sapere loro che va tutto bene, e farlo spesso. Un'azione molto semplice ma efficace.

Make them see things that are happening at that moment; don’t let them wander around in their mind (especially at the beginning of the relationship where it’s normal for everyone to be a little bit anxious around their partner.)

Don’t give them a reason to overthink – say what you feel right away when something happens.

Don’t be afraid to take control of some aspects of your relationship or life together. You can be the one who decides things because they probably have a problem with being indecisive.

Leggete tra le righe.

A volte, quando rispondono con frasi brevi, può significare che qualcosa li preoccupa, ma si sentono troppo a disagio per ammetterlo.

Lo stesso vale per le abitudini nervose come giocare con le mani, far rimbalzare le ginocchia, ecc.

Se notate queste abitudini, evitate di dirle: Perché sei così nervoso? Stai bene?

It’s only going to make things worse because they will become hyper-aware of themselves and their body language that obviously screams nervoso.

Instead, try to just communicate and take their mind off of what’s bothering them at that moment.

Una conversazione aperta, onesta e consapevole risolve quasi tutto, compreso questo. Fatelo più spesso.

Understanding someone’s fears is one of the most ultimate love languages. It’s just good to keep in mind that not everyone’s fears are obvious to the eye.

Other than reassuring, conversations, and mindfulness – it’s important to let them know you accept them for who they are.

Set an example to show them it’s possible to love and care about somebody even when they have certain issues and have a hard time accepting themselves.

Be their safe place, but also be their reality check. It’s possible to do both, it just needs to be done the right way.

Una persona ansiosa pensa troppo, ma questo significa anche che si preoccupa molto.

The only thing they need is to have full trust in you – that’s when everything gets better.

Confidare in qualcuno che ti capisca, ti ami, si prenda cura di te, ti protegga e affronti con te i momenti difficili non ha prezzo.

In return, you get the most amazing love you’ll ever experience – the love of a person who cares about your every thought and every part of you.

Qualcuno che vi apprezzerà per il resto della vostra vita.

E l'overthinker è solo un grande amante sotto mentite spoglie.