Le donne che restano single per periodi più lunghi finiscono per essere più felici di se stesse, della loro vita e delle loro relazioni e, di conseguenza, del loro matrimonio.

Hanno il tempo di vedere le cose con maggiore chiarezza; le cose che le persone intorno a loro fanno e che loro farebbero diversamente nella stessa situazione.

They learn from other people’s mistakes as well as from their own, and they lead more productive lives. They have had the chance to really get to know themselves and take some valuable lessons along with them.

Parlo per esperienza. Una volta ero uno di quelli “forever single women”. We really do thrive in life and love. And it’s mostly because of things that we have learned while everyone else was getting married:

1. Don’t ever settle

The single life has its perks, but it can also get really lonely. It’s easy to fall into the trap of settling for just anybody because of it. Our desire for closeness and connection can be really strong.

But we should wait and look at things more rationally. It’s better to be alone than in bad company. It’s better to live in peace than taking a ride on an emotional rollercoaster.

We shouldn’t settle for mediocre relationships and half-assed commitment just because we are tired of being alone. We will only make everything worse and essentially hurt more in the long run.

2. Gli appuntamenti moderni sono i peggiori, ma insegnano anche molto.

Meeting a good, decent guy these days is like hitting the jackpot. Those guys have become so rare that it’s almost like they are an endangered species.

Nella mia colorata vita di appuntamenti, ho incontrato tanti ragazzi che non valevano il mio tempo. Mi hanno fatto perdere tempo, mi hanno fatto perdere tempo e, a volte, mi hanno fatto venire voglia di abbandonare del tutto gli appuntamenti.

However, they also taught me valuable lessons. They taught me what I don’t want and what I shouldn’t tolerate. They taught me I should wait for something better than them.

Vedi anche: I Hate Waiting…That’s Why I Suck At Modern Dating

3. Inseguire i propri sogni è più importante che sposarsi

Se vi sposate e non siete felici di ciò che siete, siete destinati a essere infelici. Ho visto questo scenario più volte di quante ne possa contare.

Credo che alcune donne pensino che una relazione stabile o un matrimonio le renderà complete. Così si dimenticano di se stesse. Lasciano da parte i loro sogni e le loro ambizioni.

Fulfilling your dreams and being in a happy relationship shouldn’t exclude one another. There is room for both, and you should never, under no circumstances, give up your dreams.

4. Dare valore alle amicizie

Le relazioni vanno e vengono, i matrimoni a volte crollano, ma i veri amici restano per sempre. Avere dei buoni amici nella propria vita non ha prezzo.

They will be by your side through thick or thin. You are each other’s rocks and support systems, and you can’t find that in just anybody. Great friends better each other’s lives.

Even if your friends get married before you do, you won’t lose them. They remain a huge part of your life, with a few minor adjustments and accommodations. Anyone who says otherwise is a liar.

5. Bisogna conoscere se stessi prima di prendere in considerazione l'idea di sposarsi

Learning to put a smile on your own face should be one of your first life goals. You can’t rely on anybody else to bring you happiness—nor is that their job. That’s all in your hands.

Le persone la cui unica fonte di gioia nella vita è il proprio partner diventano codipendente. Si affidano al partner per ogni cosa e la relazione diventa malsana. Prima o poi questo tipo di relazioni finisce.

So, build your life independently of your partner. Let him be the one who adds to your bliss, not the one who creates it. That’s the only way you will have a happy and healthy relationship and marriage.

6. Listen to that “little voice” inside of you

I think most of us are guilty of silencing that little voice inside of us when it’s telling us something we don’t want to hear. We go against our better judgment, and we usually end up in tears.

We all need to pay better attention to that little voice inside of us and trust our guts—they usually never fail.

7. Getting married won’t solve your problems

Iniziate da voi stessi. Costruite la vostra fiducia in voi stessi. Trovate qualcosa che vi appassiona e iniziate a costruire una vita di cui siete orgogliosi.

Getting married or entering a relationship won’t change the fact that you are unsatisfied with your life or with yourself. It will only make things worse.

If your outlook on marriage is that it is meant to solve your problems, you will find out soon enough that isn’t true. You will only become more bitter and unsatisfied because you won’t see your way out.