6 ragioni sincere per cui non voglio innamorarmi

Quando le persone mi chiedono perché I’ve been single for so long and when I tell them that I don’t want to fall in love, they are usually shocked. In fact, many think that I’m lying to cover up the fact that I can’t find a partner.

Well, guess what? I’m being completely honest. The truth is that I don’t want to fall in love and here is why.

1. I’ve been hurt in the past

I won’t lie to you; I’ve been ferita nel passato and that’s why I don’t want to fall in love again.

I miei dolori di cuore hanno lasciato conseguenze incancellabili sulla mia salute emotiva e mentale. Il mio cuore è stato spezzato più volte di quante ne possa contare.

So, you might as well say that I’m scared of falling in love again.

L'ultima cosa che voglio in questo momento è dare a un altro uomo la possibilità di giocare con me e di darmi un altro dolore al cuore.

I’m not ready to put myself out there. I’m not willing to take a chance or to risk getting crushed all over again.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that everyone will be the same as my exes.

However, I’m too much of a coward to give anyone an opportunity to come into my life just so he can end up destroying it.

Maybe along the way I’ve become incapable of loving. Maybe all those toxic men destroyed my faith in love.

Qualcuno potrebbe dire che il vero amore vale tutti i rischi.

However, if we’re being honest, there is a much bigger chance of running into someone who will break your heart than into someone who will fix it.

The truth is that I don’t want to fall in love again when my wounds are still wide open and pretty fresh.

2. Mi porto dietro un sacco di bagagli emotivi

Another reason why I don’t want to fall in love is the bagaglio emotivo Mi porto dietro il mio corpo.

Che mi piaccia o no, questo bagaglio emotivo rovinerebbe tutte le mie nuove storie d'amore.

In fact, they wouldn’t even have a chance to end up healthy. They’d be based on lies and deceptions.

It’s not that I still have romantic feelings for someone from my past, I’m just haunted by the demons of my previous relationships. My emotional baggage is weighing me down.

It’s a burden that is always present on my chest.

Non è questo il modo in cui voglio iniziare la mia prossima relazione. Vedete, voglio essere completamente guarita prima di far entrare qualcuno di nuovo.

Dopo tutto, sarebbe del tutto ingiusto trascinare un altro ragazzo nei miei problemi e traumi.

I don’t know whether I could give myself to him fully while I’m still broken.

I don’t want to lead him on or use him as my rebound, as that way, I would be the same as those men who hurt me in the past.

Besides, I don’t need a man to heal me and to help me fix my broken heart. Instead, I want to do it by myself.

Finché non accadrà, mi impedirò di innamorarmi.

3. Voglio concentrarmi su me stesso

Call me selfish but I don’t want to fall in love because I want to focus on myself. I think that this is the period in my life which should be reserved for self-improvement.

I don’t want to waste my precious time and energy on chasing some guy, having relationship dramas or suffering after a break-up.

Invece, voglio investire tutte le mie capacità per diventare un persona migliore e la migliore versione possibile di me stesso.

Questo è il periodo in cui voglio concentrarmi completamente sulla mia formazione e sulla cura di me stessa. Voglio lavorare su me stessa, trovare nuovi hobby, leggere e scoprire nuove cose sulla mia personalità.

Il periodo in cui voglio viaggiare, esplorare nuovi luoghi e culture e in cui voglio imparare.

Questo è il periodo in cui voglio mettere ordine nella mia vita.

Questo è il periodo in cui voglio trasformarmi in una donna autosufficiente e indipendente che ha tutto ciò di cui ha bisogno.

Into an emotionally and financially stable woman who doesn’t wait for a man to provide for her.

Basically, I want to be content with the person I’m becoming and I want to give it my maximum.

4. Mi piace la mia vita da single

To be honest, I don’t feel the need for an emotional partner because I have an awesome time by myself. I’m not lonely and I don’t feel alone in this world.

I couldn’t care less about social norms. I don’t care whether people are talking behind my back, commenting that it’s time for me to finally settle down.

Going to events without a plus-one doesn’t bother me. Spending Valentine’s Day by myself doesn’t concern me.

After all, just because I am not in love, it doesn’t mean that I don’t have anyone to talk to or to share my life with.

Ho i miei amici, la mia famiglia e, soprattutto, ho me stessa.

In fact, I’m happy with my peace. Even though I’m not claiming that romantic relationships are all about fights, the truth is that I’m better off without unnecessary arguments.

Also, I love that I don’t have to compromise with anyone.

I love the fact that I can do whatever I feel like, without having a partner I should consult or agree with. With the fact that I don’t answer to anyone but myself.

Yes, in this case, I’m the only one who carries all the responsibility for my life.

However, it’s easier that way; I’m the only one making the decisions and the only suffering for my wrong choices.

5. I’m not into modern dating

Maybe I wouldn’t be running from love this much if I had been lucky enough to be born in a different era. In an era when people were honest and trustworthy.

Se fossi nata in tempi antichi, in cui si sapeva qual era la propria posizione fin dal primo giorno, in cui ci si poteva fidare di un uomo quando ti diceva di amarti. In un'epoca in cui esistevano gentiluomini che facevano sentire speciale ogni ragazza.

The truth is that another crucial reason why I don’t want a relationship is the incontri moderni practices that I don’t fancy.

Vedete, le relazioni quasi sentimentali, gli incontri occasionali e le storie di una notte non fanno per me.

I can’t separate my body from my heart and mind so I know it is impossible for me to stay emotionally detached from a man I spend time with.

Don’t get me wrong, this doesn’t mean that I judge those who like these things but it’s just not something I feel comfortable doing.

I’m an old-fashioned type of gal. I need a man who will court me and who will wait for me to be ready for the next step of our relationship.

Besides, I’m not someone who gets along well with mixed signals or hot and cold games and I can’t cope with ghosting or unlabelled relationships.

6. I don’t want to lower my standards

People tend to tell me that I’m troppo esigente quando si tratta di uomini. La verità è che so esattamente cosa e chi voglio.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not looking for a perfect man. After all, I know that I have my share of flaws and I’m perfectly aware of them.

Tuttavia, se mi innamoro, voglio che sia con qualcuno che soddisfi i miei standard che mi rifiuto di abbassare.

I’ve worked hard to build myself into the person that I am today and I’m not ready to settle for less than I deserve.

Besides, I want a real, mature man, I don’t want a project.

I don’t want a boy I’ll have to raise or guide through life, a toxic guy who won’t see my worth or will be intimidated by it or someone who is not ambitious enough to become a better person and to make something out of his life.

Therefore, I don’t want to fall in love with you if you’re not a grown man who knows how to treat a lady right.

In effetti, preferirei rimanere single forever than to be with a guy who is not what I’m looking for.

Guess what? I’m not the only one who refuses to fall in love.

In effetti, ci sono così tante persone che si sentono esattamente come me, che ci sono persino canzoni che parlano della mia lotta.

Actually, while I was writing this article, I couldn’t help but listen to the Don’t Wanna Fall In Love lyrics from a single by the great singer Jane Child from Canada, released in the late 1980s, together with a music video accompanying it.

Recentemente, un altro grande cantante statunitense, KYLE, ha realizzato un remix di questa straordinaria canzone, prodotta da M-Phazes.

La frase è più o meno la stessa:
It’s just I don’t want to fall in love. (Nope.) Love cuts just like a knife. (That’s right.) You make the knife feel good. (So good, so good.) I’ll fight you till the end.