7 ragioni innegabili per cui gli uomini rispondono al silenzio e alla distanza
Le donne vengono da Venere, gli uomini da Marte. Le donne rispondono alla comunicazione e all'onestà, gli uomini al silenzio e alla distanza.
È vero e, se sì, perché?
Whether you’re starting a new relationship or have been in one for a while now, you might be having the struggle of communication vs. distance in your relationship.
In questa situazione, siete voi a voler risolvere ogni problema con le parole, mentre il vostro uomo cerca di evitare i problemi. Più lo spingete, più lui si allontana.
Have you ever thought of not talking? There’s a relationship rule out there that can work wonders if used correctly.
Può essere applicato a coppie in difficoltà o a relazioni appena concluse in cui uno dei due partner vuole tornare con l'altro.
Questa meraviglia è chiamata regola del non contatto.
Qual è il regola del divieto di contatto in ogni caso?
A seconda della situazione, questa regola può essere applicata in modi diversi.
If you’ve just broken up, you’ll want to apply the good old classic no contact rule where you don’t contact your ex AT ALL for a month or even longer.
You simply don’t send him text messages , call him on the phone, or respond to his social media posts. And when he contacts you, you don’t answer.
If you haven’t broken up but want some issues resolved, you might want to apply the less intense version where you simply don’t contact him first but wait for him to make a true effort before you start responding to his messages.
Come funziona e cosa sta pensando durante l'assenza di contatto period? Let’s find out.
7 modi in cui il vostro silenzio lo spezza
Gli fa pensare che potrebbe perderti
Prima che tu decidessi di fargli assaggiare il trattamento del silenzio, forse non aveva neanche mai pensiero di perderti. It’s very possible that he took you for granted.
Lei era completamente impegnata con lui e desiderosa di risolvere tutti i suoi problemi, spingendo la conversazione come strumento definitivo.
Questo a volte lo ha fatto sentire soffocato e come se tu ti stessi impegnando molto più di lui, facendogli credere che tu ci tenessi più di lui.
Once you begin saving your words and showing him that the version of you that’s always passionate about comunicare your problems is not something to feel bothered by, but something to hope for, he’ll start realizing he made a mistake.
Not talking to him will make him think that there’s a chance of losing you – something he never even thought about before.
Inizia a pensare a ciò che è successo in passato
He will start examining everything that happened in your relationship. It suddenly won’t be too much effort for him to analyze the situations that were the cause of the problem for you two.
He’ll be thinking about what kind of person he was and you were in your relationship.
For the first time , he’ll start overthinking and burdening himself with actually trying to figure out what happened and what mistakes he made.
He’ll make conclusions about what he could’ve done differently, and how the course of your relationship would’ve changed if he was smart enough to do the right thing.
At this point, he’ll realize that he should’ve appreciated your words and passion for solving issues immediately more, because your silence and distance bugs him.
Sfida la sua routine
Prima che lei decidesse di mettere in atto il trattamento del silenzio o la regola del divieto di contatto, lui aveva un certo modello di risposta ai problemi della vostra relazione.
I’m not going to get into what those patterns were, but you are probably well accustomed to them by now.
This time, when your reaction is completely different, he won’t know what to do. Suddenly, nothing he used to do before will make sense and he’ll be left speechless.
He’ll struggle to find new ways to respond to this new regime you’ve decided to implement.
P.S. If there’s absolutely no response on his side, he’s either completely uninterested in you or doesn’t even realize there’s something wrong.
If either of these is the case, there’s a good chance he’s the wrong person for you.
Ha il tempo di sentire la tua mancanza
Il silenzio far sentire la tua mancanza a un uomo , you’re wondering? It absolutely does.
Questo è uno dei motivi principali per cui gli uomini rispondono al silenzio e alla distanza.
Se eravate sempre in giro, non ha mai avuto la possibilità di sentire la vostra mancanza. Non importa quanto una persona vi ami, a volte è necessario un po' di tempo di distanza per riaccendere la passione nella relazione.
Think of all the ways you made him feel taken care of and secure… way too secure. Now that you’re not right by his side ready to be as involved in his life as he allows you to be, he misses you.
He’ll be thinking about all the things you did together and every benefit that your presence brought into his life.
He maybe won’t feel like this for the first couple of days, but as time passes, he’ll realize he needs you, and that’s why it’s important to go through the distance and trattamento silenzioso abbastanza a lungo.
Lo confonde
He’ll be wondering what got into you. Wait a minute, weren’t you the type of girl who always talked so much, calling and texting him all the time?
Where did all the ” I love you ” messages go? Where did all the “Good morning” calls disappear to?
He’ll be completely confused with the new ways things are working.
A lot of times he’ll start contacting you, but even then it’s important to remain cold. If you rush to answer his first call, you’re just showing him that’s all it takes to get you back.
Long story short, he’ll be intrigued and shaken, and you should leave him feeling like that.
Meno sa, più si interroga
After a couple of weeks , he won’t know what you’re up to, where you are and with whom, and that will drive him insane.
He probably used to know everything about your whereabouts and plans, and now he’s left completely in the dark.
He’ll constantly wonder what you’re doing, if you’ve made any major changes in your life, and what’s happening with you.
Are you sad? Are you lonely? Are you actually super happy without him? He’ll start secretly plotting ways to “accidentally” run into you just so he can satisfy his curiosity.
Si arrabbia e si emoziona
There’s a very good chance he’ll try to contact you, and once ignorate i suoi testi or calls he’ll get super upset. And no wonder – his ego is hurt and he’ll go looking for ways to prove that he can have you.
Anche se questa non è l'emozione che ogni ragazza sogna quando vuole conquistare un ragazzo, funziona.
In romantic relationships , especially early and immature ones, there’s often a power struggle. This time, you’re proving yourself more powerful and that drives him crazy.
Also, it shows him that there is a side of you that he could appreciate, a girl who cares about herself more than anyone else and won’t let a man play with her heart.
These are the seven ways you’ll know your trattamento silenzioso is working on him, but… if you don’t hear from him, how will you know what he’s going through?
Don’t worry, there are ways to know your plan is working by what happens to you during that period.
4 cose che vi accadranno
You’ll discover the benefits of independence
If you do this correctly, you’ll have all this newfound time and energy for yourself. You’ll be surprised how many things you can get done (and enjoy) if you pay less attention to him.
You’ll rediscover who you were in the first place , before even meeting him, and this will be so refreshing to you.
You’ll learn to let go of negativity
After so much overthinking, overanalyzing, trying to solve your issues, you’ll finally be carefree.
When you choose the silent treatment as your way of dealing with things, you’ll suddenly feel like you can easily let go of negativity and welcome positivity into your life.
You’ll feel stronger, smarter, better… Everything that was driving you insane for weeks/months/years will now be a part of your past and the only thing on your agenda will be to take care of yourself.
Diventerà più facile perdonare e dimenticare
Once you distance yourself from a stressful situation, it’s so much easier for you to think more clearly.
You’ll feel that everything that happened between you and your partner somehow makes sense and that realization will make you feel relieved.
You’ll start focusing on yourself
You’ll need to get him out of your head and start doing things that make you happy.
Maybe you’ll go back to an old hobby, start reading or exercising again, go out more with your girlfriends – whatever it is, it will make you feel like you’re finally voi .
Non pensate più a ciò che il vostro uomo prova o pensa, ma solo a cosa fare per rendervi felici ed eccitate. Sicuramente concentrarsi su se stessi ; that’s your way to success.
No matter how hard you think you’re trying, there’s always a chance that what you’re doing won’t work.
Ci sono alcuni errori comuni che la maggior parte delle ragazze commette, e il fatto di commetterne anche uno solo diminuisce seriamente le possibilità di successo.
5 errori da evitare durante l'uso della macchina Senza contatto
Aspettarsi di vedere immediatamente i risultati
You might be too impatient to see the results and hope to see them the very same day you start the silent treatment . That’s impossible.
Think of it as a diet, just because you ate super healthy and exercised for a couple of days, it doesn’t mean your body will immediately change. It takes time.
In the same way, it’ll take him time to go through all the phases of dealing with what you’re doing, so he can realize what’s happening and react.
If you get too excited about seeing results too soon, you’ll end up making mistake number two as well.
Diventare davvero disperati
If you don’t see results you’re hoping for soon enough, you might get desperate thinking that the method doesn’t work and go back to your old bad habits.
Again, it’s just like a diet.
If you don’t see you’re losing weight, you either go back to eating unhealthy foods and no exercise, or you drown yourself in doubt and negativity, thinking you’ll never lose weight, which slows down your progress.
Nelle relazioni, questo si traduce nel fatto che tu torni a chiamarlo e a mandargli messaggi, oppure commentare i suoi post sui social media o iniziate a pensare che non siete amabili e che non troverete mai l'uomo giusto per voi.
La disperazione non porta da nessuna parte. Ricordate di essere positivi.
Pensare costantemente a lui
This definitely won’t work if you only cut out the communication part. For this whole period of time, you have to try to stop thinking about him altogether.
If you’re obsessing over where he is and what’s he doing, there’s no chance you’ll get through this. The whole process will feel like wicked emotional abuse and way too forced to be successful.
Concentratevi su voi stessi, sui vostri bisogni e sul riempimento del tempo con attività benefiche.
Cercando di farlo ingelosire
Pensare attivamente a come ferirlo e farlo ingelosire won’t work. That’s something that should be left for immature kids who don’t know how to behave in relationships.
He’ll probably easily see through your act and the whole plan will backfire.
Ripercorrere gli eventi passati
It isn’t your job to be thinking all over again about what happened – that you should leave to him.
Se iniziate a pensare troppo ai problemi del passato, potreste arrivare a conclusioni sbagliate perché vi manca e lo volete indietro.
Questa è la vostra strada verso il fallimento, e lo sapete.
Even if you do everything perfectly, there are always exceptions to the rule. Some men, depending on the circumstances, simply won’t respond to this kind of treatment.
3 Kinds Of Men Who Won’t Respond To The Trattamento silenzioso
A man who’s been hurt
If you’re the one who broke his heart and hurt his feelings, you can’t expect the silent treatment to work.
If you want to make things work with him, you have to show patience, because not contacting him will only prove that you’re not good for him, which isn’t your goal.
Un uomo insicuro
Because of his insecurities, he’ll be thinking he doesn’t deserve you. He’ll be afraid of rejection and won’t contact you so he doesn’t have to face the feeling.
He’ll take your silence as proof that he should stop hoping to be with you, even if he’s the one who made mistakes that led you to use this method.
A man who’s really, really stubborn
He won’t contact you because he’s way too proud. And even if he does, he’ll act like the above-mentioned kind of guy who only contacts you to make a point that he can have you.
Per lui tutto è una lotta per il potere e vi punirà per essere stati freddi con lui con una freddezza ancora maggiore.
Trattamento silenzioso nel matrimonio
Marriage is something that needs constant work on both sides. The no contact rule obviously can’t apply here, the same way it’s very hard to apply to long-distance relationships .
If you’re having marital issues, the following advice is what I believe is best for you:
You can’t stop communicating with your partner completely so the “don’ t talk to him” segment of the rule doesn’t apply to you.
What you should try is to stop negative comments, nagging, asking him to do stuff for you, lecturing, yelling… and everything similar to that. You’d be surprised how beneficial this can be for your marriage.
If you’re having problems that are truly worrying and big, I strongly advise contacting a marriage counselor and asking for their professional advice.
To wrap up…
In my point of view , there’s no way that one method can work for everyone. Think thoroughly about your situation and decide on what to do.
While men respond to silence and distance, it’s important to find a way to use that which will be effective for you personally.
Il punto è che il vostro obiettivo è risolvere i problemi, non ferire voi stessi o lui. Tenetelo sempre a mente.
