Perché non piaccio ai ragazzi? 13 modi in cui li allontanate per sbaglio

Why don’t guys like me? It seems that pretty girls like il mio migliore amico get all the attention and I’m stuck here hoping for that first date that just isn’t coming. What am I doing wrong?

First of all, looks aren’t everything. While I’m certain that you’re a beautiful woman, there are numerous characteristics that you have to factor in when it comes to winning over guys.

Può essere particolarmente difficile per le giovani donne che sono ancora al liceo e non sanno di che tipo di ragazzo hanno bisogno.

Ma lasciatemi dire una cosa. Se potessi tornare indietro nel tempo e cambiare qualcosa, sarebbe sicuramente la pressione a cui mi sottoponevo per voler assomigliare a una top model.

I was so sure that the whole nice girl thing wouldn’t get me anywhere, so I did everything in my power to be the kind of girl I thought guys want. Mi sbagliavo.

These things come with age but you should know that being good-looking isn’t the key to getting l'uomo giusto.

And by focusing on all the wrong things, you’re ruining your chances of finding him.

Trying too hard to be someone you’re not and obsessing over every little thing is off-putting.

But don’t worry, I’m going to help you out so that you never have to wonder what’s wrong with you again.

Di seguito, vi svelo 13 things that guys (secretly) can’t stand sulle ragazze e su come si può cambiare rapidamente la situazione.

Why Don’t Guys Like Me? These Are The Most Likely Reasons

Because you think you’re not good enough (and it shows)

Here’s the best dating advice you’ll hear today. If you don’t consider yourself good enough, they won’t either.

Ricordate che.

Tutto parte dalla percezione che si ha di se stessi.

Guys pick up on things like that. If you’re constantly questioning your every move and apologizing every two minutes, it starts getting exhausting.

No wonder you often ask yourself: Why don’t guys want to date me? It’s because you make yourself appear unappealing.

Prima iniziate a creare un'immagine più positiva di voi stessi nella vostra testa, meglio sarà per voi. amore vita otterrà.

Tendenzialmente ti piace l'IDEA di lui, non l'uomo in sé.

You fall for the Tinder version, the kind of guy who only exists in movies, so when you see them in real life, you start pulling away. That’s not cool.

How would you feel if a guy ran away the moment he realized that you weren’t this perfect Barbie he had created in his mind? It would feel horrible.

You’ll never find the right guy as long as you hold on to this idea of a perfect guy who doesn’t exist.

Notizia flash! Tutti hanno dei difetti. Tu, io, il ragazzo della porta accanto, persino Brad Pitt ha (probabilmente) dei difetti.

But that doesn’t make a person any less worthy. It just makes them human.

Perdi interesse nel momento in cui un ragazzo inizia a prendersi cura di te

Questo è il tuo modus operandi: di solito ti struggi per un ragazzo per settimane prima di fare una mossa.

Iniziate a immaginare nella vostra testa questi scenari perfetti di voi due insieme e vi sembra di sognare.

Sperate segretamente che lui si accorga di voi e che fa la prima mossa. Sometimes it happens and sometimes it doesn’t.

Ma quando succede e si riesce effettivamente a sparare, si perde interesse.

Suddenly, when he’s no longer the forbidden fruit that you secretly fantasize about, it’s no longer as exciting or dreamy.

But here’s the deal. Life isn’t a fantasy. It’s very much real.

Perdere l'interesse nel momento in cui si riesce a ottenere qualcuno che si interessa davvero a te dimostra insicurezza da parte tua.

Could it be that you’re not actually ready for commitment or are there other underlying factors at play here?

Vedi anche: Che cos'è una relazione esclusiva e 15 segni di una relazione esclusiva

You try way too hard to be someone you’re not

Don’t believe all those dating sites, nobody looks that way in real life! We can all take a hot pic and use Photoshop.

But trying so hard to look a certain way (when it couldn’t be further from who you really are) is just sad.

Guys don’t like girls who look and talk like every other single girl they’ve ever dated.

They like a woman who has something to say. A woman who looks the way she looks and doesn’t feel the need to conform to society’s rules.

That’s what’s hot and that’s what gets you dates.

Just ask your guy friends what kind of girls they like and you’ll see what I mean. Substance over beauty any day.

Analizzi troppo ogni loro mossa e pensi troppo alle cose

Your body language gives you away every time. The way you can’t calm your hands when you’re suspicious over where he was.

The way your eyes roll when he tells you he was at his buddy’s house.

The way you constantly text him, asking about his whereabouts and making him feel stalked. Just like you don’t like being controlled, neither do guys.

Overanalyzing your man’s every move gets you further and further away from him. It shows a severe lack of trust and insecurity that plagues your relationship.

Vi preoccupate più di apparire belli che di essere gentili

Looking great doesn’t get you the guy. Sure, it’ll attract him toward you and keep him around for a bit but ultimately, if you’re not kind, respectful and considerate, you can call it quits.

Don’t go around saying things like, “Guys don’t like me and I have no idea why,” if all you put into the relationship is your looks. That’s never going to be enough.

Se volete che questo ragazzo diventi il vostro migliore amico, deve esserci un legame autentico tra voi due.

Le relazioni superficiali appassiscono più velocemente di quanto si possa immaginare.

Avete l'abitudine di postare troppo e troppo presto sui social media.

The first time you go on a date, you take a pic and post it. You don’t even give it a second thought.

Ever since high school, you’ve loved documenting every part of your life.

But here’s the deal. You can totally post whatever you want, as long as it doesn’t make your date feel awkward.

Riuscite a immaginare come si sentirebbe quando vede una foto inaspettata di voi due su Instagram con hashtag come #agli di coppia o 1TP5Mi sono migliori dei tuoi prima ancora di averla resa ufficiale?

If you’re wondering, “Why don’t guys like me?” ecco perché! Smettete di saltare i passaggi. Ci vuole tempo per arrivare a questo stadio e la fretta non può che nuocere.

La vostra chimica fisica è perfetta, ma è carente in tutti gli altri settori.

Adoro chi riesce a tirarmi su di morale senza che io debba dirgli che ne ho bisogno. Questo dimostra un vero legame.

E anche se amo il contatto fisico (un aspetto sicuramente importante), un legame emotivo e mentale è altrettanto vitale.

How can you be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t get how you think?

The physical aspect will only take you so far but for as long as you don’t nurture every other part of a relationship, guys will have a tendency to hit the road.

Contrariamente a quanto si pensa, gli uomini non vogliono solo fare sesso in una relazione. The more mature he is, the more inclined he’ll be to leave if things aren’t clicking in every way.

Si punta sempre su uomini non disponibili (e si rimane scottati ogni volta)

Here are my two cents on relationships. Always go for a guy who can make you LOL when you’re feeling down, as opposed to someone who only likes your perky derrière.

Haven’t you learned by now? If you keep yearning for guys who are clearly not buono per voi, you’ll always get burned.

The whole bad boy shtick doesn’t get you your happily-ever-after.

E ho la sensazione che tu lo sappia già, ma in qualche modo continui a sperare il contrario.

You’re too clingy and don’t have a life outside of the relationship

Questo è controproducente per il significato di una relazione a lungo termine.

While it’s comforting and reassuring having someone you want to spend every second with, you both need space of your own.

Your love life will never thrive as long as you keep the guy as the center of your universe. Guys get scared away when they realize you’re being too clingy.

Il fatto di non avere una vita al di fuori della relazione li rende timorosi di ciò che riserva il futuro.

The longer you’re together, the clingier you’ll become, which could easily turn into possessiveness and that’s the last thing anyone would find attractive.

Vedi anche: 4 modi per superare con successo la dinamica della relazione romantica push-pull

You’re excessively confident (which translates as arrogant)

Back in high school, no one was ever quite as confident and self-assured as you. And while you took it as a good thing, others didn’t.

Vedete, la vostra alta autostima può tradursi in arroganza.

I know that you probably aren’t like that but it’s important to be self-aware. Be confident but don’t act like you’re better than others. It’s an ugly personality trait.

Humility goes a long way. Guys don’t appreciate someone who always acts condescending and like they know better.

Even if you do think that you’re always right, don’t let others know. Stay true to yourself but give credit where credit is due.

Vi mancano lo scopo e la passione nella vita

Don’t let yourself be a 30-year old woman with no purpose in life other than finding a guy. That’s not cute.

Don’t allow yourself to get to a primo appuntamento and when the guy inevitably asks you about your hopes and dreams, you just shrug it off. That’s a major red flag.

Certo, non tutti hanno la vita pronta, ma almeno sapete cosa volete e lavorate per ottenerlo.

Se continuate a lasciar scorrere le cose, senza sapere da dove arriverà il vostro prossimo stipendio, i ragazzi si daranno alla fuga.

They don’t need a girl who’ll depend on them for everything.

Relationships are 50-50. You get as much as you’re ready to give.

Parlate male dei vostri ex e questo fa sì che i ragazzi esitino ad avvicinarsi a voi.

Questa è una delle cose principali che i ragazzi trovano profondamente poco attraente. Who’s to say that you won’t talk badly about him if things don’t work out?

A nessuno piace che si parli di loro alle spalle.

If your reputation precedes you, it’s time to re-evaluate it. What do you really get out of badmouthing an ex?

Vi porta gioia o un senso di chiusura?

In my experience, it leaves a bad taste in your mouth that won’t go away as long as you cling on to it.

So don’t be surprised if guys aren’t that into you right now.

How could they be? They all fear that one day, you’ll start spreading rumors about them that aren’t necessarily true.

Come si fa a cambiare le cose e a farsi piacere dai ragazzi?

Cambiare mentalità = cambiare vita

È una frase che ogni giovane ha bisogno di sentire. È la vostra mentalità a controllare non solo la vostra vita sentimentale, ma tutta la vostra vita.

The way you think is how you allow yourself to act. And if you’re insecure and feel unworthy, that’s what you’re going to project into the world. So stop.

Guardatevi a lungo e intensamente allo specchio. Che cosa vedete? Una donna forte, capace, bella, che ne ha passate tante e che è ancora in piedi..

A woman who knows her worth and doesn’t let anyone affect it.

THAT’s what you need to tell yourself every time you think you’re not good enough.

Remind yourself of every painful memory and heartache you’ve survived and realize what a badass you are.

Piaci a un ragazzo per quello che è, non per quello che vorresti che fosse.

Questa è un'altra cosa importante. Dovete smettere di creare nella vostra testa false percezioni dei ragazzi. Nessuno è perfetto.

We’ve all got stuff we’re dealing with.

But guess what? That doesn’t make anyone any less worthy or acceptable. Embrace people for who they are.

Accettate le loro piccole manie e i loro fastidiosi difetti. Li avete anche voi e tutti quelli che vi circondano. Se questo rendesse le persone non più accoppiabili, tutti sulla terra sarebbero single.

Relationships are based on accepting each other’s flaws and respecting their individuality. Learn it, practice it, live it.

Don’t let yourself pull away the moment it starts getting real

Lo capisco. Anch'io avevo paura di impegnarmi. Dopo aver affrontato un'esperienza importante relazione PTSDL'apertura è diventata una vera e propria sfida.

But do you know what I realized? If I keep believing that everyone is going to be like my ex, I’m never going to find love.

Così mi sono messa in gioco, ho affrontato le mie paure e ho imparato a dare una possibilità ai ragazzi. Per fortuna, con il tempo, ho trovato la mia anima gemella.

It doesn’t happen overnight and it’s not easy but the sooner you allow yourself to let people in, the easier it becomes.

Sii te stesso (tutti gli altri sono già presi)

“There is nothing more rare, nor more beautiful, than a woman being unapologetically herself; comfortable in her perfect imperfection. To me, that is the true essence of beauty.” ― Steve Maraboli

Don’t for a second think that someone else is better than you just because they look different (prettier) in your eyes.

Your value isn’t based on how well you can pretend to be what others want you to be. It’s all about being your true, authentic self in a world full of copycats.

Besides, by not conforming to anyone’s norms, you’re going to stand out from the crowd. And what’s cooler than that?

Vedi anche: 6 modi per essere fedeli a se stessi e perché è così importante

Nel momento in cui iniziate a pensare troppo, FERMATEVI e fate qualcosa di produttivo.

Davvero, l'eccesso di pensieri è la cosa peggiore per una relazione a lungo termine.

It creates scenarios that aren’t real, breeds distrust and leads to serious issues that aren’t really there.

Quindi, la prossima volta che vi accorgete di analizzare troppo una situazione perfettamente semplice, fermatevi.

Contate fino a dieci prima di dire qualcosa di cui potreste pentirvi e imparate a fidarvi delle persone.

If your man says something, why is your first instinct to think he’s lying? Just because your ex had a habit of being disloyal, it doesn’t give you the right to treat your current man the same.

If he gives you no reason to overthink something, then don’t. It’s going to do wonders for your mind and your relationship.

It’s what’s inside that counts (good looks will only get you so far)

"Non c'è modella, né attrice, né concorrente di Miss America che possa superare una donna felice, fiduciosa e sicura.” ― Mandy Hale

Amen! Being pretty isn’t all that. Having a nice rack isn’t a guarantee for a happy love life.

Avere un bottino che i ragazzi amano fissare at won’t get you a deeper connection. Why? Because without a happy, confident, kind personality, you’ll never get what you want in life.

As I’ve already mentioned, i ragazzi si innamorano bellezza, ma rimangono per la classe (con un pizzico di sassolino).

Work on how you treat others and how respectful and understanding you are. Don’t put all your efforts into looking like a Greek goddess. Be good-looking but exude kindness!

Lasciate i social media fuori dalla vostra relazione (almeno nelle fasi iniziali)

Let me give you a priceless piece of dating advice. Leave your phone alone while you’re experiencing those first stages of a relationship.

The world doesn’t need to know who you’re seeing or how things are going. Some things are sacred, don’t you agree?

Out of respect for your date, keep things between yourselves for a while. It’s only going to be more amazing, knowing that he is your little secret that no one knows about.

That way, even if things don’t work out, you’ll avoid having to explain to everyone the ins and outs of your two-week courtship.

Imparare a connettersi a livello emotivo

Affinché una relazione funzioni davvero, è necessario che ci sia un legame genuino su cui costruire.

Deve esserci un po' di sostanza che vi permetta di vedere questa persona come qualcosa di più di una persona molto sexy.

The physical aspect of a relationship is so important but if you devote all your efforts into being under the sheets and neglect to connect mentally and emotionally, there’s really nothing there.

If you want a future with this person, make sure you feel comfortable, seen and heard when you’re with them. If all they are is a really good booty call, that’s all they’ll ever be.

Stop going for guys you know you can’t have

We all yearn for what we can’t have; that’s the allure of forbidden fruit.

And the more you’re told that this guy is unavailable, the more you’ll lust after him.

This is something I can understand if you’re still really, really young.

Ma man mano che diventate una donna matura e capace, i vostri gusti in fatto di uomini dovrebbero seguirli.

If you know that someone is taken, don’t plot a way to his heart. It won’t end well.

Risparmiatevi il batticuore di innamorarvi di uomini irraggiungibili e non disponibili e cercate qualcuno con cui possiate avere un futuro.

Trovare la gioia nella vita prima di trovarla con un uomo

Questo è ciò che mi ha sempre detto mia madre e sono molto grata di averle dato retta.

As long as you’re unfulfilled and unhappy with your own life, a man can never truly make you feel whole.

You need to find it in yourself first. Find that thing that motivates you to wake up every morning. Search for something that’ll give your life meaning.

Trova l'appagamento in te stessa prima di trovare un uomo con cui condividere la vita.

That is a sure-fire way to create a happy, healthy, lasting bond that won’t end in tears and disappointment.

Vedi anche: 15 cose che dovreste mettere nella vostra lista dei bisogni relazionali

Work on your demeanor – you can be both confident and kind

Per me non c'è niente di più attraente di una bella donna con un cuore d'oro.

Just because you look like a supermodel, it doesn’t mean that you should stop being kind.

Continui a chiederti: “Why don’t guys like me?” Avete mai pensato che questo potrebbe essere il motivo?

Fate un esame di coscienza e cercate di capire come volete essere ricordati.

While we’re at it, I’ll just leave this jaw-dropping quote here, and let you do what you want with it.

“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” ― Maya Angelou

Perseguite i vostri sogni e obiettivi per trovare la realizzazione che cercate negli uomini.

Don’t ever put your life on hold while on a quest for a guy.

Non solo vi risentirete per il resto della vostra vita, ma questo porterà anche a turbolenze e infelicità nella vostra vita. la tua vita sentimentale.

Maybe guys don’t like you because you put all your focus on them and stop thinking about your life outside of the relationship.

But you can easily put an end to that. Follow your passion. Go after that job you’ve wanted since you were in high school.

Don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t do anything. You know your own abilities.

Don’t let anyone limit them and instead, reach for the stars. Happiness lies outside of your comfort zone.

Mantenere i problemi della relazione privata per rispetto del vostro ex.

A lot of people I know tend to bad-mouth their ex the moment it’s over. But to me, this is the worst quality in a person.

Unless he truly did you wrong, don’t stoop to that level. Be better than that. Leave the past in the past and move on to better things. It’s much more dignified.

Your break-up may suck but that doesn’t mean that you get to trash-talk the guy the next day just because you’re dissatisfied with your own life.

If things didn’t work out, that’s tough but everything that went wrong can serve as a lesson on what to do better next time.

Buona fortuna con il vostro uomo!

Hopefully, I’ve managed to answer your question: “Why don’t guys like me?” Here’s what I hope you take away from this article.

You can look like a legit supermodel but if you don’t put any effort into being a kind person, it’ll never work out.

Guys are attracted to pretty girls but it’s the personality that makes them stay!

So stop focusing on the wrong things. Be confident but don’t push them away.

Know what you want in a guy but don’t try to change them into something they’re not. Appreciate your connessione emotiva tanto quanto quello fisico.

Relationships are tough work. You’re not always going to like this person, no matter how hot they are.

So it’s important for there to be a genuine bond, so as to have something to hold on to quando le cose si fanno difficili.

Now, read all of this again if you have to and go get that man I know you’re pining for.

Siate il vostro vero e autentico io e lasciate che le cose si evolvano al loro ritmo naturale.

Vedi anche: Come attrarre un ragazzo: 19 modi a prova di bomba per attirare la sua attenzione