15 regole fondamentali degli appuntamenti per una storia d'amore moderna

I know what you’d like me to say right now. When it comes to the rules of dating, there’s only one rule: Non ci sono regole.

If only it were that simple, right? Don’t worry, though. What I’ve got here for you is just as cool, I promise.

I tempi sono cambiati (grazie al cielo) e le regole degli appuntamenti sono state aggiornate di conseguenza. Ciò che un tempo era considerato la norma ora è superato consigli per gli incontri che non serve a nulla.

We’re going to stay as far away from that as possible.

Today, we’ll focus on making your first date a success and help you say goodbye to online dating once and for all (which means deleting all those tiresome dating apps ASAP).

I know I don’t have to tell you how complicated modern-day dating can be. Connecting with someone and creating an relazione esclusiva senza spostarsi dal vostro Aspettative sane può essere una sfida.

Also, once you finally meet the one, I can’t stress enough how important it is to Tenete la vostra relazione lontana dai social media.

Ci sono così tanti modi in cui potrebbe ritorcersi contro. We live in a social-media-crazed world right now, so isn’t preserving your privacy more important than ever?

Per me, un relazione sana means keeping your dating life to yourself. That way, you can create a serious relationship that’s no one’s business but your own.

The rules of dating that I’m about to discuss are a stepping stone to getting just that.

L'obiettivo è quello di aiutare i frequentatori a mettere se stessi al primo posto e ad esplorare incontri moderni before they’re ready to leave the dating scene and enjoy their relationship to the fullest.

I’m no dating coach, but having been through one too many hook-ups (plagued by so many red flags), I feel comfortable sharing some handy dating rules.

Non vivere mai un'esperienza infernale primo appuntamento di nuovo, attenendosi a queste regole piuttosto semplici del romanticismo moderno.

Vedi anche: Here’s What To Talk About On A First Date (& 7 Topics To Avoid)

Le regole non dette degli appuntamenti che dovreste seguire

Siete nuovi sulla scena degli appuntamenti? Siete stanchi di cercare incontri su Tinder e Bumble?

Non preoccupatevi più! Seguite questi consigli rivoluzionari e rendete il vostro prossimo appuntamento molto più rilassante.

Uscire con tutte le persone che si vuole (e togliersi il pensiero)

Play the field before emotionally investing in someone for the rest of your life. Dating is a journey, not a destination (that part comes after you’ve circled the dating scene first).

So, what’s my point? Date as many people as you want. Date MULTIPLE people at the same time if that’s what you want, just be sure not to drag anyone along and tell them if you’re not interested.

Don’t deny yourself any type of pleasure. Dating is fun; it’s not a chore. My rules of dating are all about liberating yourself from what people might think and doing what feels right for you.

Date men, women, or whoever you want. Do stuff you normally wouldn’t, and don’t be afraid of taking a risk.

Get it all out of your system before you’re ready for the next stage. And guess what? You’re the only judge of when that is!

Ripulire l'armadio delle emozioni prima di cercare un legame

Once you decide you’re ready for the pursuit of ‘the one,’ be sure to leave all your emotional baggage at the door.

Per avere una relazione felice e sana, dovete liberarvi di tutto ciò che le vostre relazioni passate vi hanno causato. Tutte le insicurezze, il dolore e i dubbi che il vostro ex vi ha lasciato, affrontateli di petto.

Whatever you do, don’t get into a new relationship (especially a long-distance one) without resolving your past issues.

Sooner or later, they’re going to catch up with you and implode. Trust me. I was on the receiving end of it once. It’s not pretty.

Fate un favore a voi stessi (e al vostro potenziale partner) e risolvete tutto ciò che deve essere risolto prima di iniziare una nuova storia d'amore.

Gli appuntamenti moderni possono essere molto divertenti, ma solo se si fa tabula rasa prima di ricominciare.

If you’re into someone, don’t be afraid to make the first move

I can tell you this with absolute certainty. You’ll never regret making the first move. Not even if you get rejected now and again.

Perché? Perché vi dà il coraggio di cui avete bisogno.

You’ll start feeling more capable than ever, and the fear you may have felt before will wither away. Ciò che prima sembrava impossibile, ora sarà la cosa più normale in assoluto.

Sure, it won’t always result in a date, but that’s just the reality of the dating world. We ALL deal with this, so it’s silly to let it discourage you.

Your next date could only be a phone call away. If you have their digits, call them up. You’ve got nothing to lose and so much to gain. What’s the harm?

Vedi anche: Le 10 regole degli incontri occasionali che dovete semplicemente seguire

Siate sempre chiari sulle vostre aspettative

If there’s one thing I’ve learned through online dating and random hook-ups, it’s this: Never go into it with false pretenses. It always finds a way to bite you in the ass.

Sure, some people won’t be on the same page as you, but that’s kind of the whole point. To weed out the no-goers and see who’s on your wavelength.

Non tutti vogliono la stessa cosa da un appuntamento. C'è chi ama le avventure superficiali (e va benissimo), chi vuole trovare velocemente un marito e chi vuole una storia d'amore duratura che possa andare lontano.

It’s always a good idea to be upfront about these things. Otherwise, you might fall head over heels only to soon find out they’re not looking for anything serious.

Don’t be afraid to speak about what you expect. People have the right to know, and you’re less likely to be left heartbroken.

Go for someone who isn’t your ‘type’ and see what you’re missing out on

Don’t wait for Cupid and his matchmaking skills to toss the perfect person into your orbit. This is real life, not a movie.

Dating apps have taught me one thing. Guys I’d normally give a hard NO to, ended up being quite interesting choices. So don’t necessarily stick to what you know. See what else is out there!

You’d be surprised how many intriguing people are out there who you’d never consider giving a chance to.

Let this be a new journey. Let it take you where you’d never normally go. Forget about your type and go for anyone who might seem like they have something to offer (intellectually, emotionally, but also physically).

Life starts outside of your comfort zone. I think it’s high time to start exploring it.

DON’T discuss past relationships early on

This is a major red flag, but I’m sure you’re already aware of that. Either way, it never hurts to double-check.

Tenete gli ex-file nel cassetto al quale appartengono. A nessuno piace ascoltare il proprio accompagnatore che si dilunga sulle sue ex tossico.

While your pain might be legitimate, wait for a reasonable amount of time to pass before bringing it up. If this person is worth the bother, there’ll be a time and place to discuss these matters.

Fino ad allora, mantenete un livello più informale e scoprite lentamente qualcosa in più su di loro.

Se vi abbandonano abitualmente, perdete il loro numero.

Believe anyone who keeps proving to you that they’re not worth your time.

Ci sono imprevisti e i piani vengono rimandati. Succede. Ma se questa persona sembra essere più scostante con voi di quanto non lo sia con i suoi impegni, perdete il suo numero.

They don’t care much about you and your time. Don’t give them the chance to keep playing you for a fool. You’ve got better things to do.

Vedi anche: Domande sul primo appuntamento: 210+ domande per un primo appuntamento di successo

It’s about how they pursue you, NOT how quickly they pursue you

Here’s something worth knowing: It’s not about how quickly they respond, but HOW they go about it.

If they make you wait a whole week before they hit you up with a follow-up text, and it ends up being just “Heyyyyy,” they’re not worth it.

Tuttavia, se i clienti impiegano lo stesso tempo ma offrono una spiegazione ragionevole (e non inverosimile) del perché ci hanno messo così tanto, date loro una possibilità.

Le persone sono impegnate e a volte una settimana passa proprio così. Se sembra che ci tengano a rivedervi, probabilmente è così!

Chiunque può scrivere un testo di una sola sillaba con una settimana di ritardo. Ma un messaggio legittimo in cui si dice di volerti rivedere significa molto, a prescindere dal numero di giorni che ci sono voluti per inviarlo.

Vedi anche: 17 idee creative per il terzo appuntamento per renderlo memorabile

Don’t put out on the first date (wait until you know their intentions first)

Aspettate un po' prima di invitarli a casa vostra per vedere Netflix e rilassarvi.

If you’re into a serious relationship and all they want is to get some, it might not be the best idea to put out immediately, as it’ll leave you hurt.

However, if you’re looking for a fun fling, by all means, do whatever the heck you like!

Just make sure not to do anything rash that might end up biting you in the ass. It’s smart to know their intentions before taking it too far. At least in my experience.

Trattare gli appuntamenti come un'esperienza divertente, non come un processo di interrogatorio.

I’ve already said this, but I’ll say it again. Dating should be fun. Sure, these rules of dating might make it seem not so, but don’t be fooled. These are here to make the process MORE enjoyable.

I’m not telling you to go on a date with a list of questions and follow them blindly. Deve esserci un po' di spontaneità.

It’s great if you want to be prepared, but don’t let it overtake the majority of your date.

Have fun, ask follow-up questions, and see where the conversation organically goes. IF it doesn’t seem to go anywhere, resort to your prepared dating questions and see if they help it move along.

Vedi anche: 16 cose che aprono gli occhi da sapere prima di uscire con un vedovo

Tenere il telefono in tasca durante l'appuntamento

I can’t stress this enough: Don’t keep your phone on the table for the duration of your date. It’s rude, and it’ll make your date feel that they’re not important enough.

Keep it on vibrate and put it in your purse or pocket. You want to pay attention to your date and what they’re saying.

That’s hard to do if your phone is on the table and it keeps going off. Manners never go out of style, and people appreciate these little gestures.

If the date doesn’t go well, you’re free to get up and leave after giving it a solid chance. But before you do that, make sure you were present and invested in the conversation.

Always be authentic (don’t put on a front)

As cliché as it sounds, always be yourself. That way, your date knows exactly what they’re getting themselves into!

Scherzi a parte, you don’t want to build a romance under false pretenses. Putting on a front and constantly pretending to be someone you’re not won’t do any good.

Not to mention how tiresome it gets. Isn’t it just easier to be unapologetically yourself and let your date get to know the real you?

No one is perfect, and no one expects you to be. Just be who you are because that’s all anyone could hope for. Also, I’m saying this from personal experience, stare alla larga dalle persone sposate.

Le regole degli appuntamenti un uomo sposato (or woman) are a whole other story. Like all modern-day, kickass individuals know, barking up a married person’s tree seldom brings good news.

Been there, done that, DON’T recommend it. So, just stick to the singles, and give it an actual shot.

Don’t stress about meeting the perfect person right off the bat

It takes time and lots of practice. It’s highly doubtful that you’ll meet your perfect person on your next date.

If you’ve carefully read these dating rules, then you probably understand why that is. You can’t build a lasting connection right off the bet. These things take time to build.

Enjoy those first dates and try to make each one of them count. They might not end up what you wanted, but they’ll give you a great chance to see what you’d like in a person.

When you least expect it, you’ll meet someone who’ll finally seem like the real deal. They’ll check all the boxes, and the vibe will be on a whole new level.

So, don’t stress about how long it takes. Enjoy the process, knowing that it’ll all be worth it in the end.

DON’T stalk them on social media

Why? It takes the mystery out of the equation! It’s so much more gratifying getting to know them as you go along.

If you’ve already done your research and know everything there is to know about their family tree, you’re setting yourself up for failure. Give THEM a chance to tell you their story.

You probably already have preconceived notions that aren’t allowing you to give them a real chance.

There’s more to people than what their social media accounts say. There’s more to people than what people tell you.

If you want this to work, you need to hear everything from them. You wouldn’t want them to judge you based on something they’ve stumbled upon online, right?

Gli appuntamenti sono divertenti solo se si conoscono un po' alla volta, lasciando spazio a elementi di sorpresa. È un'esperienza, non un progetto.

Seguite il vostro ritmo e resistete alla tentazione di avere un intero raccoglitore su di loro. Questo toglie il divertimento all'intera faccenda.

Vedi anche: Scoprite se dovreste postare il vostro ex sui social media e molto di più

Fidatevi del vostro istinto

Last but not least, ALWAYS trust your gut feeling. It’s there for a reason.

It doesn’t matter how awesome this person appears on paper. If your gut is telling you something’s off, believe it.

Sometimes, it’s hard to explain these things. You meet a person, and they seem to check off everything from your ‘list.’ They should be a good fit, right?

But something just doesn’t feel right. There’s no vibe, or better say, you don’t feel that ‘click,’ but since they fit your criteria so well, you keep giving them chances. DON’T.

If it doesn’t feel right, it’s not right. They might be a perfectly nice person, but just not perfect for voi! And that’s okay.

Wait for someone who’ll want to show you off. Someone who won’t be able to keep their hands off you. Someone who’ll gush about you to their friends without holding back.

When you meet someone like that, you’ll see why it never worked out with anyone before.

Life’s too short for a half-assed romance. Either they’re all in, or they’re out the door (there’s NO in between).

Vedi anche: 21 segni di un buon primo appuntamento e come fare il secondo

Put Yourself Out There – No Risk, No Fun!

It’s very simple, really. The rules of dating are here to help you have the most enjoyable experience possible.

When you think about it, they’re kind of common sense. Perché? Perché l'obiettivo finale è mettere se stessi al primo posto e trarre il massimo dall'esperienza degli appuntamenti.

Why not date multiple people before you’re ready to settle? Why not go for someone you wouldn’t normally look at twice?

That’s the whole beauty of it. Take those tiny risks and see what you’re missing out on. If you don’t, you’ll never know the fun you might’ve had.

What I want you to take from this article is that it’s all about you. If you’re not feeling it, leave.

If you can’t be yourself around them, stop perdere tempo. And if you’re into someone, make the first move!  It’s 2020, for Goodness’ sake. If not now, when?

Vedi anche: Appuntamento in spiaggia: 10 cose da sapere per un'uscita divertente e di successo