7 tipi e 13 segni di relazioni malsane tra padre e figlia

Il legame tra un padre e una figlia dovrebbe essere qualcosa di molto speciale.unico, puro e forte.

Purtroppo, a volte può trasformarsi in qualcosa di negativo e tossico.

There are so many unhealthy father-daughter relationships today and in most cases, neither father nor daughter is actually aware that their relationship isn’t good for either one of them.

Troppo amore può essere dannoso come troppo poco amore. Una persona estremamente una relazione stretta può facilmente trasformarsi in una relazione tossica.

It can affect a person’s well being and confidence and other relationships as much as a poor father-daughter bond.

Inoltre, una volta che la salute della relazione si è spezzata, sia il padre che la figlia avranno difficoltà a migliorare le cose.

If you want to find out what the types of unhealthy father-daughter relationships are and how to fix it, keep reading below and you’ll find out.

7 tipi di relazioni malsane tra padre e figlia

Tutti noi sperimentiamo alcuni problemi nella nostra relazioni genitori-figli e grazie al legame incredibilmente forte che condividiamo, tutti i problemi possono essere risolti.

Ecco i tipi di relazioni malsane tra padri e figlie e alcuni consigli per renderle di nuovo migliori e sane.

1. Il papà assente

We have to admit that fathers have one of the most important jobs in the world—providing for their family. Still, that’s not the reason why they shouldn’t always be present in their kids’ lives.

Nothing is more important for a daughter than to have a father who’ll be present in her life, supporting her in everything she does and spending time with her.

No matter whether you are his 1-year-old or 21 year-old-daughter, he needs to understand that you’ll always need him to step up and be your dad, not just on special occasions but every day.

I’m not trying to justify them but yes, fathers have so many obligations that make them less included in their daughter’s lives but still, they need to find a way to dedicate themselves to them in-between all those obligations.

Avere un padre assente lascia molte conseguenze sulla salute mentale.

Può comportare problemi comportamentali, dubbi su se stessi, depressione, insicurezze o cattivi voti a scuola.

It may even affect negatively on your adult relationships or starting a romantic relationship with someone because you’ll always be kind of afraid that the other person might leave at any moment.

2. Il padre violento

I padri che hanno un brutto carattere o che hanno qualche tipo di dipendenza hanno maggiori probabilità di abusare delle loro figlie.

Don’t think that you shouldn’t tell anyone about it and that it’s your duty to help him first because it’s not. You’re the one who needs help.

There is no justification for any kind of violence or abuse and you shouldn’t try to justify tuo padre per averti maltrattato o per averne fatto una colpa.

Trust me, it’s never your fault.

Don’t put up with your dad’s toxic behavior just because you think you have no one to talk to because there are so many people and organizations that can help you.

Turn to someone for help. It will clear your vision. You will see whether your father’s problems can be resolved or not.

If not, please don’t work on that relationship at any cost.

Some fathers didn’t deserve to be dads. Sometimes you have to cut them off and let yourself free.

L'abuso non è qualcosa che si dovrebbe sopportare, a prescindere dalla situazione.

Le conseguenze emotive e fisiche di una padre violento per una ragazza sono terribili e di lunga durata.

Possono portare ad avere attacchi d'ansia, depressione, bassa autostima, odio per tutti gli uomini, un disturbo della personalità, la perdita del senso di sé o addirittura un problema con l'uso di sostanze.

3. Il padre emotivamente assente

Così come avete bisogno che vostro padre sia fisicamente presente nella vostra vita, avete bisogno che lo sia anche emotivamente.

Dovete sapere che avrete sempre il suo sostegno emotivo.

If your father never expresses his feelings for you or you feel that he’s emotionally distant, you should talk to him about that and tell him that him being so emotionally unavailable bothers you a lot.

Avrà effetti negativi su tutte le vostre relazioni future.

It’ll be hard for you to maintain any kind of relationship because you too will become emotionally distant and won’t be able to deal with your emotions in a healthy way.

Un padre presente e premuroso è tutto ciò che una figlia desidera.

Vostro padre è la vostra roccia e dovete potervi rivolgere a lui per un consiglio o una consolazione ogni volta che ne avete bisogno.

4. Il padre narcisista

Un padre narcisista cerca di essere il migliore in tutto ciò che fa, compreso il ruolo di genitore. Vuole solo mostrare i suoi figli.

Questo tipo di padre considera la genitorialità come una competizione.

A competition of who’ll do a better job of raising their kids, whose kids will be more successful, rich or famous.

You don’t have to fulfill all of the unreasonably high expectations that your father has set for you.

If he’s always comparing you to other kids and expects you to always be better than others, you should tell him that it makes you nervous and ask him to stop doing that.

The narcissist type of father will try to manipulate you with some kinds of rewards and gifts because that’s his way to make you do what he wants you to do. Don’t fall for that.

La vostra opinione è importante e dovrebbe esserlo anche per vostro padre.

Ditegli che la sua incapacità di essere attento ai vostri pensieri e sentimenti vi dà molto fastidio.

If you allow your father to have complete control over your life and manipulate you with gifts, you won’t be able to ever become completely independent.

5. The father who’s an addict

La dipendenza è un problema per l'intera famiglia, non solo per la il tossicodipendente.

Guardare una persona vicina che sta distruggendo la sua vita ogni giorno e non sapere come aiutarla è terribile.

Capita spesso che i padri dipendenti dall'alcol o dalle droghe abusino fisicamente ed emotivamente dei figli o della moglie, lasciando effetti negativi soprattutto sulle figlie.

If you’re the daughter of an addict, I know that you had to face many difficulties in your childhood.

Le prese in giro e il bullismo degli altri bambini sono solo due di questi. Nessuna bambina merita un'infanzia del genere.

You deserve to have a secure and stable life and a father who’s an addict will never be able to give it to you.

6. Il padre critico

There are some fathers who think that being critical will help their kids to achieve all their dreams and goals but that’s not how it works.

Criticandovi costantemente e ponendovi obiettivi irragionevoli, non farete altro che avere problemi di autostima.

I know that you’ll feel bad about not fulfilling them and for disappointing your father but you shouldn’t.

The only thing that’s important is that you should never disappoint yourself.

If your father puts too much pressure on you, you’ll be mentally stressed and won’t be able to focus on your goals and it’ll result in failure.

Because of your father’s criticism, you’ll feel like you’re a complete failure and it’ll definitely change your relationship with him.

Don’t allow your father’s criticism to influence you so much as to make you doubt your self-worth.

If he can’t see how much you’re worth, then that’s his problem, not yours.

7. Il padre traditore

Quando una figlia scopre che il padre ha tradito la madre, il loro rapporto non può più essere lo stesso.

Ci sarà sempre un po' di risentimento da parte sua.

So che accettare il fatto che un uomo che si ammira abbia fatto una cosa del genere è particolarmente difficile per le ragazze giovani.

You just can’t accept that your parents are divorcing and you’ll never be able to fully forgive your father for hurting your mother like that.

You’ve always seen the love between your parents as a true and forever kind of love, you’ve always hoped that you’ll get to experience that kind of love one day.

Tuttavia, se vedete che vostro padre si pente profondamente, dovreste dargli la possibilità di spiegare le sue ragioni.

You don’t have to forget it but you should forgive your father and work on your relationship.

Don’t think that all men are the same or be afraid to fall in love with someone just because you think that the same thing will happen to you one day.

Don’t stop believing in true love because of your father’s infidelity.

Vedi anche: Perché mia figlia grande è così cattiva con me? 9 possibili motivi

13 segni di una relazione malsana tra un padre e una figlia

Se volete verificare se il vostro rapporto padre-figlia è sano o meno, basta vedere questi segnali di un rapporto genitore-figlia malsano.

1. The father wants to have complete control over his daughter’s life

Yes, parents have to worry about their kids’ lives, where they go and with whom they hang out but they don’t have the right to control their lives completely.

Possono sempre darvi dei consigli su come comportarvi nella vostra vita personale, ma non dovrebbero mai farvi fare qualcosa o prendere una decisione al posto vostro.

Vi hanno dato la vita e lavorano duramente per garantirvi una vita migliore e, naturalmente, dovreste rispettarli e ascoltare i loro consigli.

Tuttavia, solo voi avete il diritto di decidere della vostra vita.

2. Ci sono alcuni confini poco chiari

Impostazione alcuni confini sani è essenziale per far funzionare qualsiasi tipo di relazione.

If there are some unclear boundaries in a relationship between a father and a daughter or if they don’t respect each other’s boundaries, their relationship will become toxic for sure.

The father needs to respect his daughter’s privacy. Going through her phone means that you don’t trust her and that can be very painful for your daughter.

You need to accept that your daughter is growing up and she’ll need more and more personal space and privacy.

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with this because we all need our privacy.

We all have some ‘sacred place’, our personal space where we feel most comfortable and in this case, it’s probably her room.

That’s why you should never enter her room without knocking first.

3. Mancanza di comunicazione

It’s a fact that adolescence weakens the bond between a father and a daughter.

It’s all because both of them need to have more open communication and they avoid it because they don’t feel comfortable engaging in those kinds of conversations.

Sono d'accordo sul fatto che l'adolescenza può essere un periodo piuttosto difficile sia per i padri che per le figlie.

Uno dei problemi più comuni nel rapporto padre-figlia è la mancanza di comunicazione.

It’s hard to understand a teenage girl’s needs and how to communicate with them but together you’ll have to find a way to get through it and not let it affect your strong bond.

4. Aspettative irrealistiche

Purtroppo, ci sono alcuni genitori che ripongono nei loro figli aspettative irrealistiche e irragionevoli.

That’s how they put too much pressure on them, which causes them to be nervous or stressed.

You should have some expectations for your daughter because you know that she’s capable of achieving them but if you set some absurdly high expectations for her, it’ll harm her and your relationship with her in so many ways.

When she understands that she can’t meet those expectations, she’ll feel like she has disappointed you and it’ll affect her self-confidence.

Even when she fails to reach her goals, you always have to show that you’re proud of her no matter what.

Se decide di prendere una strada diversa da quella che le avete suggerito, deve sapere che ha il vostro appoggio.

5. The father doesn’t allow the daughter to say her opinion

Siamo tutti esseri umani diversi con opinioni diverse su determinate cose. Tutti noi dovremmo avere il diritto di dire la nostra opinione in ogni situazione.

This kind of unhealthy relationship when the father underestimates his daughter’s opinions will only result in low self-esteem for her.

She will become emotionally closed off and it’ll be hard for her to open up to anyone.

She’ll be afraid of talking about her feelings and thoughts with someone because she’ll think that they’re wrong or that other people don’t care about them.

6. Qualsiasi tipo di abuso emotivo

La maggior parte dei genitori rappresenta un modello per i propri figli, ma sfortunatamente ci sono alcuni genitori che danneggiano i propri figli con i loro comportamenti. costante abuso emotivo.

The fact is that leaves some indelible consequences on their kids and their future relationships. Verbal abuse isn’t any way to raise your children.

Cosa succede se vostra figlia commette un errore? Tutti lo facciamo e i bambini imparano meglio dai propri errori.

Any kind of criticism or humiliating her won’t do any good. You have to talk to her, point out her mistakes and together find a way to fix them.

7. Il padre che paragona la figlia ad altri bambini

Paragonare vostra figlia agli altri bambini della scuola, del quartiere o ai suoi fratelli è una delle cose peggiori che un padre possa fare.

It’ll affect her self-esteem and self-worth. She might become jealous or start competing with all those other children.

We’re all good at something and you should understand that she can’t be good at all of those things you would want her to be.

You have to know that your daughter is unique and that she shouldn’t be compared to other kids.

Girls are pretty emotional and you don’t know how painful it is for her to hear (especially from you) that some other kid is better than her.

8. Critica costante

If you think that constantly criticizing your daughter is a good way to point out her mistakes to her or to make her progress in life, you’re wrong.

Constant criticism will only make her doubt herself. She’ll always have the feeling that she is letting you down, no matter what she does.

It’s impossible to have a good relationship with your daughter if the only thing you do is criticize her.

If she does something wrong, yes, you should point it out to her and criticize her a little but you should also encourage her to be better and criticizing her isn’t the way to do it.

Merita di essere criticata se ha fatto qualcosa di male, ma merita anche di essere lodata ogni volta che si comporta bene e fa qualcosa di buono.

9. Il padre non si assume mai la responsabilità del proprio comportamento e dà la colpa alla figlia.

Non c'è giustificazione per nessun tipo di abuso, quindi non c'è giustificazione per aver abusato verbalmente di sua figlia.

You can’t blame it on her and tell her that it’s her fault. If she did something bad, you could react in another way than swearing or yelling at her.

Non esiste una genitorialità perfetta, perché anche noi genitori commettiamo errori.

Ma il fatto è che ogni volta che si commette un errore, bisogna assumersene la responsabilità e ammetterlo.

That’s a good example you’re giving to your daughter that will help her with her adult relationships.

10. Il padre usa la figlia come principale fonte di sostegno emotivo.

Have you ever heard of emotional parentification? That’s when a parent involves one of their kids in their problems too much.

That kid needs to hear their problems and give them advice; in other words, the child is actually doing the parent’s job.

Some fathers do exactly that with their daughters and unfortunately, they aren’t aware of the long-term negative consequences it can leave on them.

Questo accade soprattutto quando i genitori stanno divorziando. Il padre usa la figlia come sostegno principale e la figlia fa da mediatrice tra i genitori.

The daughter will feel sorry for her father and his problems and she won’t feel comfortable sharing some of her own problems with him.

She’ll be suppressing them along with her emotions, which might result in depression or stress.

11. The father doesn’t allow the daughter to become independent

You have to be aware of the fact that your daughter is growing up and that one day she’ll be an independent woman.

L'unica cosa normale da fare è lasciatele spiegare le ali e lasciate il vostro nido.

Of course, she’ll still be your little girl and she’ll still come to visit you. Becoming independent doesn’t mean she’ll forget her father and you’ll grow apart from each other.

Every parent has a hard time letting go and realizing that their kids have become independent but if you try to keep her dependent, she might miss some great things in life because of you and you’ll regret it one day.

12. La figlia ha costantemente paura di deludere il padre.

Each kid’s biggest wish is to make their parents proud of them and you should never think that just because you’ve made one mistake or didn’t manage to fulfill some of their expectations, you’ll disappoint them.

If you’re constantly afraid of disappointing your father in everything you do, you’ll feel more nervous and stressed and that will affect your relationship with him too.

Don’t only consider your father as an authority, consider him as your friend too because indeed, your parents are your true friends.

Feel free to open up to him when you think you’ve disappointed him and talk about it.

Don’t run away from your problems or try to avoid talking to your father because that would only mean that you are suppressing it all and that’s the worst thing you can do.

13. The father is always included in his daughter’s decision-making processes

You can always ask your father for advice when you need it and your father will always give you some advice if he feels you need it but it’s unhealthy for both of you to seek permission from your father every time you want to do something.

You can always consult your father before you make a decision but he shouldn’t always be included in your decision-making processes.

Some decisions you have to make alone because that’s how you’re learning to be independent.

Ricordate che chiunque può darvi consigli che vi aiuteranno a prendere una decisione definitiva, ma solo voi avete il diritto di decidere.

Becoming a father for the first time is both frightening and beautiful at the same time. You want to do a good job with your kid but it’s all new to you and you’re afraid that you’ll fail at it.

Per concludere

Purtroppo, credo che many of us aren’t even aware of the true importance of fathers and how essential that father figure is in every girl’s life.

A father’s influence in a daughter’s life is so incredibly important and unfortunately, most fathers aren’t aware of that.

They’re their daughter’s role model and they really need to ask themselves if they are really role model material.

Unhealthy father-daughter relationships always leave negative effects on every girl’s life.

That’s why it’s necessary to work on your relationships and try to be a better daughter to your father or a better father to your daughter.